Philip Ree

That whole day of learning to use magic was amazing. Magic is amazing. As much as Saffron practiced using his wings, and Riley practiced growing things, I threw myself into learning magic and helping Clair.

The arrival of Major Richards had been the start of actual politics within our camp. She made every little detail a hundred times worse, but I'll never forget when Captain Bell showed me Rainbow Dash running Richards and her soldiers into the ground.

Clair arranged for the embassy in Canterlot to be purchased and had wrung a concession from Richards to use some of the marines for staff duties until we could hire staff.

I looked out the window of the train. The landscape moved by slowly. Trees and pasture gave way to rocks and switchbacks, and the train began laboring to get up the mountain.

"Now there's a man who has thoughts on his mind."

Turning my head a moment after my ears had located the source of the words, I saw Frank Hollings. Frank was almost as big a thorn in Richards' side as I was, though from her point of view she didn't have to ensure Frank's safety.

Frank Hollings was navy, which meant he was outside Richards' chain of command and was directly under Clair's orders. The difference between Frank and Major Richards was that Frank had never moved up the ranks to a field command role. He'd retired with more medals than Richards was ever likely to give out, and he didn't wear one of them.

"You know how it is, Frank, always something to think about. How're the wings going?" I asked.

"Much better once I realized your son knew more about getting the hang of actually having them than Powell would. There's some things being a physiotherapist can't teach you, and walking and using your wings is one of them." To demonstrate, Frank stretched his wings out and took a few steps—his wings didn't waver. "See?"

"You're doing better at it than Richards and her crew."

"Clark was the smartest one, he got me onto speaking with Saf about it. Clark uses his wings better than any of us but Saf himself. Smart kid you got, Phil." Frank stood in the aisle between the seats—he was just the kind of person who didn't sit. "What are your plans?"

"To stand behind Clair as much as I can. With this," I gestured up at my horn, "I can already write and file papers as well as I could back home."

"I read the reports, Phil. You were a stay-at-home dad. What's going to happen with your kids?"

"School—"

"Saf is seventeen going-on-twenty. Do you think he'll want to go back to school for another twenty years?"

"What're you getting at, Frank?" I asked.

"Your wife needs two people to support her. She needs a secretary and a head of household. I was never good at sweeping."

I rolled my eyes at the suggestion. "We can get someone who can manage the place—"

"But not someone I trust."

"Which rules out anyone under Major Richards?" I asked, but got no reply. "So we're going to shove Richards firmly into only handling security. I like this plan. It already pains me that we're going to have to draft some of her lot from the get-go. Maybe I should get Saf in on this?"

"Why we're doing it? I think if he needs to know, you should tell him. But does he need to know why he has a job?"

"You just said he's not stupid. He might look like a foal, but Saf's still an adult by my mind. If I'm going to do this and bring him on board, I'm going to tell him everything." I stood up and walked past Frank. "If you'll excuse me, Frank, I'm going to go talk with my family."

I found myself clenching my teeth as I walked down the train car—Frank was a nice guy, but he wasn't even safe from politics.

Using my magic to push the doors open, I stepped between cars while the train slowly dragged itself ever upward. As I stepped into the car, two ponies with guns at their sides focused their attention on me. When they continued their focus, I let out a snort of derision. "Oh come on? Clair isn't doing any sensitive business on the train and—"

"Let my husband through!" Clair's voice nearly shook the train car. "Major Richards, I told you—"

Major Richards cleared her throat. "Following my orders, ma'am. Every visitor to the—"

"My husband is not a visitor. Stand your soldiers down this instant." If I knew Clair, and I like to think I did, she sounded about ready to strangle Maria Richards with her bare hands. Fortunately for the Major, Clair didn't have hands.

The two soldiers—facing away from their commanding officer—had apologetic looks on their faces. I felt sorry for them in that they had Richards for their CO. I didn't feel sorry for them in that they were between myself and my wife.

"Are you going to shoot me?" I asked. When both soldiers—minutely—shook their heads, I stepped forward and kept going.

"Major, you've seen what these ponies can do. One of our guests last week lifts the moon into the sky every night. If they wanted to do something to Clair, our guns wouldn't stop them. You're supposed to be ceremonial—for show." Clair got up from her seat as I neared and tilted her head just right to catch my incoming kiss.

A month ago I would have laughed (or seen a doctor) at the thought of my heart thumping like this, or my blood burning hot. We weren't humans edging into old age anymore—we were a pair of barely-adult ponies in love.

My worries and fears weren't forgotten, merely pushed to the side while I enjoyed my wife's presence. Just when it seemed like we were stuck and lost in a kiss forever, we broke apart slowly. I looked deep into Clair's eyes and struggled to remember there was even a world around us.

"You're going to make good on that look later, right?" Clair asked me.

"Only if it's alright with the Major." My answer was low enough that I was reasonably certain that pony ears wouldn't have been up to the task of hearing it. "But I think we need a family meeting."

Clair's eyes danced with excitement. "We haven't had one since the Major arrived. Is this important or are you just tweaking her tail?"

"Important. The tail tweaking is a wonderful bonus."

"Major," Clair said. "I need some alone time with my family. Please don't take this as a suggestion." The steel in my wife's voice made the fur on the back of my neck tingle.

Major Richards lifted her head to reveal a bored expression. "Ambassador Ree, under the circumstances, a little family meeting is hardly—"

"I'm going to the next car. If any of your soldiers follow me, I'll be getting off the train and walking back to Ponyville. From there, I will contact Washington and kindly ask Jeff if he wouldn't do me the favor of seeing to it you are never stationed on the same planet as I am. Meanwhile, you can explain to the two ponies who move the sun and the moon why I left." The whole time she spoke, Clair kept her voice calm and even. She turned and started walking for the door that led to the car where the kids were.

There was utter silence in the car apart from the sound of our hooves as we walked. The soldiers didn't say anything as we transferred to the next car, and the major kept her mouth closed.

In the middle of the car, Sergeant Peter Clark and Saffron were having a wing-wrestle. Gathered around was the rest of the Young Corps as they were known. Riley sat off on a seat on her own sulking.

Of all the soldiers, Captain Bell and his squad resonated the best with me—and I'm pretty sure with Clair too. I cleared my throat. "Family meeting."

Saffron and Riley's heads snapped around. Saffron quickly turned back to look at Peter Clark, the wing-wrestle still on. To everyone's surprise, Saffron just pushed down almost effortlessly on Peter's wing and turned to us. "What's up, Dad?"

There was something different about our son. He'd always had his interests, but now life itself seemed interesting to him. He was more active, and over the last few days I'd even seen him walking through town in the company of other ponies his size.

"Captain," when Clair used Corvinus Bell's rank, it meant business, "you are to take your men and report to Major Richards. If she asks why you didn't refuse my request, tell her I threatened to jump off the train."

A fellow unicorn, Captain Bell smiled despite the situation we were putting him in. "Ambassador Ree, you don't have to give me excuses, and you don't have to give me orders. When you came through the portal thing beside us, you got stuck with us, ma'am." He turned to look at the other three young stallions (not including our son). "Come on, let's go get another dressing down from the major."

Saffron waited until the door closed behind the four soldiers before opening his mouth. "What's up?"

No accusation for ruining his fun. Where was the short-tempered teenager? "It's mostly about Major Richards."

"She's a bitch. The guys—" Saffron said.

"The guys?" Clair asked.

Saffron puffed out his chest a little. "They're pretty cool when they're not jumping around for the old bird."

And they were all in the same situation, give or take, as Saffron. "He's right. She is a bitch." The biggest gasp my statement drew was from Riley. "And if we give her an inch, she'll take it and never give it back. I was talking with Frank Hollings, and he thinks it's a bad idea getting any help from her."

"So why the meeting?" Riley asked.

My little girl. She had been growing up big and strong—as strong as any twelve year old girl—but now she was trapped in a tiny body. A tiny body that could easily bench-press me, I had to remind myself. "Frank wants to take on the role of secretary until one is sent, which means I can take over the day to day running of the embassy itself. Cleaning, cooking, all that."

"So," Saffron said. "Basically what you did back home?"

"Yeah. But in a house about ten times the size. At least that's what I think you said, dear?"

Clair nodded. "Give or take. It's a small mansion. I don't know exactly how much room a pony expects to take in the capital, but we're going to have a lion's share each."

"Which means I need helpers," I said.

Neither of our kids were idiots, they both knew what I really meant. "You want us to help?" Saffron asked. "'Kay."

"Saffron!" Riley poked her brother with a hoof. "We want an allowance!"

"What do you say, dear. Can the United States Government afford to pay to have its embassy cleaned?" I asked Clair.

"I don't know. The work would have to be up to snuff." Clair lifted a hoof and tapped her chin in contemplation. "What's the going rate for child-labor?"

"We'll have to work it out, but I think five bits an hour for good work should cover it?" I looked to Clair while I had Saffron and Riley's attention—she nodded. "Unless you want to haggle?"

"Don't look at me, Dad. Riley's the capitalist here."

Riley poked her tongue out at her brother. "I remember the last deal you made. We still haven't even seen our computers here."

"I didn't know the power wouldn't be the same. Besides, it's not like we have any free time right now. Maybe when Mom gets some more people working and we don't have to learn all the basic stuff, we'll have some free time again," Saffron said.

When had my son gotten a work ethic? He was always ready to do chores before, but they were always chores to him. This new attitude was stunningly adult.

Riley nodded to Saffron. "Okay. Five, but any trips we want to make to Ponyville are paid for."

"What's in Ponyville?" I asked.

"Bloom," Riley said.

"Fluttershy," Saffron said.

I didn't want to say Moon Dancer, but damn she'd taught me so much about magic. It felt, sometimes, like she was a savant when it came to anything related to unicorn magic. "I'm sure that can be included."

"You were quick to cave," Clair said. "What's your angle?"

"Well, they'll need a chaperon, and taking the train to Ponyville every now and again seems like a great way to be out of the line of fire." I reached a foreleg out to Clair and wound up pulling myself closer to her. To cover for my miscalculation, I kissed her on the cheek.

Clair pouted. "Will you take me with you?"

"No, dear. You have to run everything. All we have to do is look good for photo ops and run away from responsibility." My words earned me a laugh from Saffron.

"Okay. So we got this?" Clair asked.

"I'm the maid of honor," I said.

"Does that make Saffron the maid of dishonor?" Riley asked.

I couldn't help it. Coughing to hid my laughter, I nonetheless clung to Clair's solid shoulder to keep myself upright as our daughter's inadvertent gag took its toll on the seriousness of the moment.

"Why—" I stopped to get my breath back. "Why don't we just go with you can both be the hired help?"

Clair, beside me, was not just better at keeping her composure, she was quite literally a professional. "We got this, don't we?"

We all nodded to her.

"Got your back, Mom."

"We won't let you down!"

I kissed her cheek again to show my support, but when she tilted her head at the last moment it landed on her lips instead.

"Ugh. Can't you two get a room? What is this, college?" Saffron got up while making a gagging sound.

I felt Clair's lips curl up a little more at the admonishment, but what I felt even more was a shift in weight—the train was slowing. So far, the train had strained against the weight of hauling the cars up the switchback, but this was the first time it actually pushed back to slow us down.

Clair broke our kiss with a reluctant sigh. "I guess we reached the top."

"No rest for the wicked?" I stretched my neck and shook my head. My marriage to Clair had been a wild ride. We'd started off so into each other that sex had become my biggest aerobic workout for the day—which when you considered I enjoyed running, that was saying something.

As we'd gotten older, particularly post fifty, things had slowed down a bit. Running was more and more the thing that got my heart pumping, but coming here changed it all. I wasn't the man I used to be. Moving into the tail-end of life? Not anymore.

I wanted my wife, and I didn't care if my expression reflected that.

Clair looked at me with an expression of shock that fed my ego. One of her eyebrows raised and I nodded to her.

"Tonight," Clair said.

I nodded and watched her shiver. When she glanced back at me, I saw a hungry expression on her face.

"Definitely tonight," Clair said again. She turned and walked toward the door of the car.

Damn it. This place had sunk its hooks into me firmly. I watched her swaying rear depart and all the stalliony hormones bubbled and fizzed. If I was going to last a month here, I was going to need to learn restraint.

Only when Clair left the car completely could I think properly again. I let out a sigh. It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped on me. "Okay, kids, let's go be the perfect family and support Clair."

"You mean the ambassador, Dad? That's all they'll see of Mom." Saffron shook out his wings and folded them neatly at his sides again. He was still small, but he had an air of self-sufficiency that made all the other pegasi in our group look clumsy—even Frank Hollings.

Saffron reached a wing out to Riley and guided her toward the door. I'd seen him use his wings like that more and more. How many years here before that becomes normal for him?

I used my magic to pick up Clair's attache case with her papers in it. As I did, I was aware that I was getting used to the way things are here, too, and we've been here less than a month.

Clair Ree

I'd gotten all the concessions out of Colonel Richards that I was likely to today. I had a pair of soldiers flanking me, and one stepped off the train first only to look around and signal it was safe for us to move.

There were the hooves of three American ponies on the platform before I was allowed off the train. I stepped through the doors and onto the marble platform and my jaw fell open.

The Arthurian tales of Camelot had nothing on Canterlot. It was a city herded against the peak of a mountain by a palace, and though the palace shimmered with gold and marble, the buildings within the city itself weren't that far down the scale of impressive.

It was obvious the railway station was placed here for this effect, but I'll be damned if it didn't work great.

Wrenching my eyes away from Canterlot city, I looked at the ponies assembled on the platform. Well, pony, though that one pony made up for plenty of others. I could recognize Princess Celestia by the descriptions I'd heard of her, and she was standing alone smiling.

"Colonel?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't be far away. "It seems the ruler of Equestria has arrived without escort to greet us. I'm sure you would rather avoid an interdimensional faux pa, perhaps even loss of face, and allow me to greet her without mobbing her with soldiers?"

The sound of teeth grinding together told me I was pushing things again. "Ambassador Ree, I can't guarantee your safety if you continue to—"

"Colonel, the whole point of this mission is diplomacy. If I walk over to her with an armed guard while she has none, we will be showing ourselves to be weak. I don't care about egos here, only that the United States of America has whatever deals we can wring from these ponies." I didn't turn around, I didn't face the Colonel. "While this is still a diplomatic mission, I am in charge."

"Soldiers, be on the alert, but cease your escort of the Ambassador."

And now for the hardest bit of being a politician. I was correct in my assessment of things, and I had the right to demand that Richards back down and do what I order, but that didn't mean I should make her ass sting for having done it. "Thank you, Colonel. I only want this to go smoothly. By me risking my butt out there, it shows we are not just friendly, but confident."

"Alright. But this is going down as your decision."

I just nodded and stepped away from the train, from my guards, and toward the huge mare. Somehow, I'd expected her to be about Princess Luna's size. Luna had stood taller than me, enough that my eye level came to her jaw, but I could have just about walked under Princess Celestia and not had to dip my head.

As I neared her, her height became more and more apparent until I was standing about a ponylength (a strange unit of measurement, but one I could at least judge easily) away. Humans were mostly the same height—give or take a foot or two—but this was something else.

"Princess Celestia?" I asked.

"Madam Ambassador Clair Ree?" Her voice was soft as velvet, but had the depth of a singer (or someone who was just big). I knew the game she was playing, and I appreciated it for what it was. Princess Celestia was trying to reassure me with a larger title.

"We both have each other's measure, it seems. On behalf of my country, my family, and my escort, thank you for inviting us to your nation." They were general platitudes. There was an official guide for US ambassadors, but it didn't cover establishing initial missions in completely alien societies.

"Shall I show you Canterlot, or would you prefer to retire to your villa?" Princess Celestia gestured to the stairs leading from the platform. Each step was perfectly smooth marble with edging done in gold. "Of course, you'll do me the honor of a meeting this afternoon?"

"I could stand to see more of your magnificent city, and of course I'll attend." That dusty little booklet had my back so far as invitations were concerned. Social rules were a large part of it, but I had to show her what rules I would expect and what I would not be tolerant of. A meeting on the first day would help me establish that.

A pair of pure white unicorns stood in the middle of the street but made no move to approach us. As we drew closer, they moved forward and kept a safe distance such that Celestia and I could converse without their seeming interference.

I stopped, and Princess Celestia stopped with me. "You'll excuse me a moment, Your Highness, but I'll need to arrange my own guard to trail behind us at an appropriate distance."

Walking back onto the platform, I saw the Colonel arranging for our things to be unloaded. "Colonel Richards?"

"What is it now, Madam Ambassador?"

"May I request an escort of two to accompany the Princess and myself on a tour of the city?" I was throwing a bone. I could have ignored the two guards and gone on our little tour none the wiser, but I could see the Colonel's features ease just a little.

"Rodriguez, Carlson!" The colonel waited for a unicorn mare and an earth pony stallion to present themselves. "You have escort duty. Do as the ambassador says and keep her safe."

"Sir!" Carlson and Rodriguez barked. Both turned to me.

"Follow us. Keep the same distance back as the princess' guards keep in front. Look good and don't start anything," I said and led them down the steps.

Salvador Carlson, an earth pony stallion in muted brown fur and darker brown mane, approached me and drew up beside me. "Ma'am. Excuse the Colonel, she's a hard-ass, but she's a good hard-ass."

"At least half of what you said was true. If she were a good hard-ass, why is she still an active colonel at sixty one?"

"Because she's a field officer, ma'am," Salma Rodriguez said. She was a unicorn with almost-white fur and a blue mane with a light blue stripe through it. "I was in her first command. She's hard as a rock, but I've heard she's harder than one now."

So that meant I was at loggerheads with a woman who was good at her job and apparently just as stubborn as I was. In my own head I could swear and laugh at the irony of it, but it was the real world that I had to deal with her. "She could be the most brilliant battlefield tactician ever, but that won't help if what I want is an honor guard.

"Okay, see where Princess Celestia is? This is your standard distance. Hold at this unless I yell for you, and enjoy the sights a little—this city is amazing."

Salvador Carlson smiled and shook his head. "If it's all the same, ma'am, Colonel Richards would have my nuts in a vice if I didn't keep my eyes glued to you."

I couldn't exactly tell them how to do their job—any more than I already had—so I just put on my politician's smile and walked back to Princess Celestia. Her size, while intimidating to a species that had very normalized sizes, wasn't too big of a problem. Ouch, Clair, no more puns.

"Sorry, Your Highness, but I have to keep up appearances and follow protocol," I said.

"Absolutely understandable, Ambassador Ree." The title rolled off her tongue smoothly, but I noticed a slight raising of her eyebrow. Of course, it was the only eyebrow visible thanks to her breezy mane, so I didn't know if it was a single eyebrow lift or a double, but I had to go with single.

I could take the hint, she wanted less formality. "Clair will do."

"As will Celestia. Please, Clair, come and let me show you my city." She used a foreleg to gesture forward and stepped as I did. "You met Luna?"

"I did. She helped me with some correspondence and related some recent history to help me get up to speed with the modern Equestrian political situation." The story of Derpy Hooves was still an astounding one, but I could see how powerful it could be to show the citizens of a monarchy that they matter.

"She and I built Canterlot together twenty-seven thousand years ago, give or take. I'll try to avoid using exact years, Luna said your lives and history are a little shorter?"

I was almost starting to get used to the huge numbers, but then I'd keep getting the reminder that she was talking thousands of years and I hadn't even experienced sixty yet. "Just a little. Eighty is considered old age for humans."

Celestia didn't miss a beat. "You must pack a lot of living into those eighty years. We ponies take our time with all things." Her words were as politic as you could get. I wished I could commend her on it without revealing that I'd have struggled to put it as neatly. "But if there were anypony who could adapt to such a situation, it's Twilight."

Mention of the third princess (the first I'd met, of course) surprised me. "Why do you say that?"

"She had planned to visit your world for ten years. She notified me that finishing the current president's term and long enough to introduce our own ambassador would be more suitable." Celestia gestured to a huge archway that transitioned the square design of the streets around the station to a more curved one. I assumed circular. "This was the original entrance of the city. Since the introduction of the railway, we had to make some allowances for not just the station but those who would prefer to live near it."

It made sense. In a city as old as Canterlot, plowing a public transport system within its boundary would be too much. I tried to think of old human cities and all I could think of was Damascus, and the tiny streets at the heart of that would never allow for the addition of something so space-hungry as a train track and station. "I can imagine it would have been hard to plan for. On Earth we have some old cities—certainly not as old as Canterlot—but I could never imagine trying to fit stations into those."

"Here we have the first city square. You'll note there are five in the main circle of the city—one at each cardinal point and one in the center. These are set aside for merchants to sell surplus goods or entertainers to show off their skills." As Celestia led the way into the square, however, all such trading and show(pony?)manship ceased. All attention was on Celestia.

"Princess! Would you like to try some of our pears?" a merchant said as they rushed over with a basket to offer.

I took the opportunity to glance back at our guards. Carlson and Rodriguez were walking beside the two Royal Guard, and I could see them talking together. I fervently hoped that they were explaining that ponies running toward us with baskets wasn't something to get worked up over.

"Forelle Pear, I would love to try one. Are these from your latest harvest?" Princess Celestia floated two pears from the basket—one to herself and one to me.

I caught the pear from Celestia's magic and took a bite into it. Equestrian fruit had a lot of everything that just made them better than their Earth counterparts. I didn't have time to savor my first mouthful, however, as I was on the clock. "That tastes wonderful, thank you."

"This is from your northern orchard?" Celestia asked, only to get an excited nodding of Forelle Pear's head. "And this is only their second year of production. Would you mind delivering a basket to the castle?"

"Right away, Your Highness!" Forelle Pear looked ecstatic. I didn't blame her with how much specific information Celestia knew about her farm.

Either this was staged to put me off balance (and I couldn't ignore the possibility it was), or Celestia not only had the most amazing cognitive capacity I'd ever heard of, but enjoyed taking an interest in everything.

Okay, Clair, just file that away and focus on surviving this without offending anyone.

Author's Note

I loved the bit with the tree, such a polite filly earns the approval of her elders, yes?

"Yes," said the tree.

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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