Riley Ree

I watched Mom walk off with the biggest princess ever and started to feel bored. As awesome as it was being in a city again, I didn't know any of the soldiers like Saffron did, although the four who came with us at first were nice.

"Hey, midget, come on," Saffron said from beside me.

I turned my head to look at him, only to see him stepping back into the train. Curiosity bit me about as hard as it ever could, and I walked after him. "Saf?"

"Shh. A little trick I saw in a movie. Come on." He trotted down the aisle of the car away from me.

I had to really pound my hooves to catch up to him. Pegasi, I'd learned, liked to be first at everything—my big brother fit in just fine. When we reached the end of the car, he used his wing to open the doors and move to the next. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to spend some time without ten people watching our every move. I want to see the train."

I couldn't fault his logic. I followed along, swapping cars twice more, until we reached the front. But when Saffron turned left at the end instead of right, I was confused. "Huh? The platform's that—"

"There's a platform on this side, too." Saffron opened the door and slipped out with little fuss, but then he paused. "Okay, come on."

With the speed Saffron moved, I had to run to keep up. Keeping quiet, I waited until he stopped before asking, "Why'd we have to run and be quiet?"

"Duh. Because they would have seen us. Now we can explore a bit."

It made sense, but I was fairly sure Mom and Dad would be just a little upset. I bit my lip and followed Saffron. "You're still pissed off about not being able to learn to fly from Fluttershy." As soon as I said it his head snapped around. "What? I don't blame you. I wanted to learn how to grow things from Bloom."

Saffron stared at me for a few more moments and then smiled. "We both got kinda wrecked there, didn't we? It's just not fair. So, anyway, let's have some fun."

I grinned, nodded, and followed him out of the back side of the station. Slipping between buildings, we came out onto a curved street a few moments later. Canterlot was amazing. Bright ponies everywhere were talking and laughing and smiling! But I wasn't stupid, I stuck to Saffron's side like glue.

My legs worked like crazy to keep up with Saffron's longer steps, but I managed it without too much effort—being an earth pony was awesome! We got nearly half a block from where we started when a shadow loomed over us suddenly.

"Well look here, a couple of little foals out and about. What's your names?"

I craned my head up and up and up. A tall stallion that looked like he was in the Royal Guard stood in front of us. I was just about to open my mouth and reply when Saffron beat me to it.

"I'm Scootaloo and this is Apple Bloom," Saffron said.

My head almost snapped around to look at him. He was lying, but I figured he was trying to hide who we are, so we weren't dragged back to the station too early. "Yeah! Bloom!"

The guard looked between us. "And who's looking after you today?" He seemed to look up and cast a glance around the street as if trying to find our parents.

I looked at Saffron and he looked stricken, in a panic. My mind raced and all I could remember was one other pony who wouldn't be here. "Rarity!" The memory of her boutique (the word was as much fun to think as it was to say) and all the wonderful clothes there was a fond one.

"Well, the only Rarity I know is the owner of a shop my wife frequents. Maybe if I deliver you both there I can get a discount, and a little bit more of my pay—eh?" The guard's horn glowed bright gold and lifted both of us up and put us back down on his back as if we were little kids.

It hit me that, since we looked so small, we actually looked like little kids.

We sat in silence on the stallion's armored back as he led us through the city. It let us see a lot more of everything than we would have at our normal height—but it denied us all freedom to investigate.

"Who do you have there, Bright?"

The feminine voice seemed directed at us. My ears swiveled to track it first, but my head quickly followed. A mare a little shorter than the stallion we were riding on walked over. She had the same white fur as our ride, but she had soft pink hair for her mane and tail that had lighter streaks of white.

"A couple of little troublemakers. I had thought to take them back to the barracks so they could spend the day shining my armor up, but one of them mentioned Miss Rarity," Bright (?) said.

"Oh my goodness! Well, if she's in Canterlot today I might have to head to Canterlot Carousel then!"

"Dear, you don't have to—"

"I insist! Let me take them off your hooves." Now the mare's horn was glowing and lifted us off Bright's back and to the ground at her side. "I'm sure the little darlings will be much happier walking, and you can get back to work, darling."

Leaning down, Bright kissed the mare's cheek. "Thank you, Shim." They were so cute!

Saffron pulled my attention away from the ponies by tapping me with one of his wings. He made a gesture to follow him, so I slipped carefully under the mare's belly and tried to keep my hooves as quiet as I could.

"Oh, where are you two heading?" Magic wrapped around me again, and I could see the same silvery field around Saffron pick him up. "Just like my colt, always getting into trouble. You know what I do with him when he tries slipping away all the time?"

I looked at Saffron, but he just seemed annoyed, so I shook my head to the mare.

"He gets to fly!"

The ground shot away and we wound up nearly ten ponylengths (I don't even know how many feet anymore) in the air. I kicked my legs like crazy until it sank in that the mare still had a firm grip on us with her magic.

When I looked at Saffron, however, he didn't look scared at all. His wings were out and he wore the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face (human or pony).

He stuck his wings out and glided, which meant I landed in the mare's magic first. I craned my head up to watch Saffron gliding back down.

"Again!" Saffron made no effort to hide his enthusiasm. It was just about the cutest I'd ever seen my brother.

"If you promise to be good and not run away."

Looking flushed, Saffron nodded at the mare and was launched skyward again. His laugh of excitement made me smile.

It took two more throws until we reached the mare's destination. "Here we are, dears. If Miss Rarity was looking after you, she'll likely either be in here, or Ms. Saddles will know how to find her. Come along now."

Sidling over to Saffron, I noticed he seemed completely distracted by the mare. "Saff?" When I got no reaction, I lifted a hoof and poked his shoulder. "Saff?"

"What?" Saffron glared at me like I'd interrupted him playing computer games.

"You remember that we lied about being here with Rarity, right?" I poked his shoulder a few more times to keep his attention.

"Well duh. What's that matter?" Saffron took nearly a full five seconds (the amount of time it took the mare who was accompanying us to open the door and lead us both into the shop) before he realized what kind of a problem we were in. "We gotta get"—the door closed behind us—"out…"

"Shimmering Silk! It's glorious to see you in Canterlot Carousel again! And who's this? Mrs. Silk, have you been keeping something secret? Who are these little darlings?" This mare was tall. Not as tall as a princess was tall, but she was huge compared to the mare we'd been escorted in with. She had the same blue fur all over her as Rainbow Dash had had, but instead of a rainbow mane she had two-tone orange hair. She also had a very long horn.

Shimmering Silk (apparently our escort's name) looked upset. "Oh drat. I'd hoped you might know about them. They said they were with Miss Rarity, but they must have become separated. I do hope there isn't another Rarity in town."

A pair of orange eyes turned on me and Saffron. One eyebrow raised. At my attempt to look pleading, both the tall mare's eyebrows raised, then she winked. "This must be them, then. Miss Rarity called—she finally got one of those new long-distance telephones, quite remarkable—and said to expect a pair of guests with her today. The little darlings must have evaded her somewhere in the market."

I thought Saffron was a smooth liar, but this tall mare had him beaten. At a moment's notice she'd just made up a huge lie to cover for us. I nodded my head as quickly as I could to confirm the details. "Can we wait for her over there?" I pointed off to one side of the cornerless shop.

"What are you doing?" Saffron asked when we reached the spot the tall mare had said was fine. "Now what are we meant to do?"

"Duh. Wait for her. She just saved our ass, Saff." I prodded at his shoulder with a hoof. "So, how was flying?"

There probably wasn't much I could have asked my big brother to make him smile, but I had a feeling that would do the trick—I wasn't disappointed.

"It was amazing! I mean, I didn't want to flap and ruin it, but even guys in wing suits don't just glide like that! And then…" He went on and on. Saffron was still talking about how amazing air flowing over his feathers felt when the tall mare walked over to us.

"Now, let's start with names. Your real names. I'm Sassy Saddles."

Saffron's mouth snapped shut. He turned to look at me before shrugging. "My name's Saffron Ree, and she's Riley Ree. We're not really here with Rarity."

"I gathered that already. Are you homeless, or just off on a little adventure?" Sassy's eyes turned to me.

"W-We slipped away while Dad was busy. We're new in the city, a—" I barely managed to stop myself letting slip the whole story.

"What's the names of your parents? I'll have to report this—they'll be worried about you." Sassy's horn began to glow a light yellow while she looked us over, then an old telephone floated over to her.

"C-Can't we have a little time before you call?" Saffron asked. "Mom and Dad wouldn't have even noticed us missing yet."

In answer, Sassy lifted the handset of the phone and pressed it to the side of her head. "Hello?" There was a pause. "I have a pair of young foals here, Saffron and Riley." Another pause as Sassy's face broke into a smile. "Ah! That sounds like them. Canterlot Carousel." More pause. "Oh no! No need to rush over. I have them settled. Yes, a half hour is fine. Thank you, Sergeant." She hung up the phone.

Sassy looked over both of us. She'd literally just done what Saffron had asked for. "Now then, you have half an hour. You can sulk in this corner or"—she let the word hang for a few seconds—"we could have some fun."

"Fun? Like what?" Saffron looked at Sassy like he wasn't going to like whatever she could suggest.

"Look at me. What do you see that's different to practically every other pony in Canterlot?" Sassy turned to the side and posed.

"You're tall!" I said.

Saffron took a few more seconds before he said, "You're wearing clothes."

I blinked a few times rapidly in surprise—it was true. Sassy wore an olive colored dress that looked a little spiky, but also had a trim silver saddle in the middle of her back. "You are!"

"Exactly. You don't think Rarity would let me run her Canterlot shop unless I not only loved fashion, but had talent for it, did you?" Sassy used her magic to lift the skirt she wore just enough to see a group of pins on her thigh. "I'm afraid I don't have anything in your size on the shelf, but I can assure you I can fix that."

Saffron took a step back and looked in a panic. "Wait! We're not going to—"

"Dress ups!" I bounced on my hooves in excitement.

"Now-now. Relax, Saffron, I'm not going to put you in a dress. We have some very fine stallion clothing here. Come over here and let's see what I can get you into."

What happened was amazing. Yellow magic lit up the store. Dresses and suits started dancing around. Sassy danced and sang, and Saffron and I sang too! I'd never heard Saffron sing before, but despite his gloomy entrance, he looked as excited as I felt!

The sound of the door opening interrupted our fun. I turned to look at who it was, only to freeze. Princess Celestia and Mom walked into the shop, and neither looked particularly happy.

"Saff?" I asked.

"We're in it now, Riley. Just back me up, okay?"

"'kay."

Saffron walked forward—beating even Sassy—and reached Mom first. "I'm sorry, Mom. I just needed to get away and talked Riley into coming too. Having all the soldiers around all the time it—it just got too much!"

My brain was struggling to keep up with my brother. Back him up? He'd just taken all the blame! I walked over with Sassy beside me. I looked up at the tall mare and she gave me a significant look in return.

Mom glared at Saffron for nearly ten seconds in absolute silence before she reached out and grabbed him with her forelegs. Saffron didn't stand a chance with an earth pony hugging him. "I'll sort out who's to blame later, but for now I'm just glad you're okay." Mom looked up from Saffron to Sassy. "Thank you so much for taking care of them, I don't—"

"No need to thank me, ma'am. It's always a pleasure to look after such well-behaved foals." Sassy's words made everyone stare at her in shock.

"There's a lot of things I'd like to call my children right now, but well-behaved is not among them." Mom took a deep breath. "But where's my manners. I'm Clair Ree—"

"Ambassador Clair Ree," Princess Celestia said.

I liked Princess Celestia, but of the three princesses I'd met, I liked Princess Twilight best, and then Princess Luna. Princess Twilight had the most princessy colors, and Princess Luna gave the best pony rides. I guess Princess Celestia might give better pony rides, but they'd have to be pretty good to put her ahead of Princess Twilight.

"Well, that explains a lot about their story and mannerisms. Welcome to Canterlot Carousel, Ambassador Clair Ree. Rarity left strict instructions to provide you with whatever you needed." Sassy gestured to Saffron and me. "I have two things right here you might be interested in. They both come with accessories."

Mom snorted, smiled, and let go of Saffron. "I'll take both, I suppose, but I can't take their 'accessories', I'm afraid I have no way to pay for—"

Sassy lifted her hoof. "Absolutely not. They were a joy to take care of, and I'd hate to see what Miss Rarity would say if she knew I let them leave unclothed. No-no. No payment needed."

"If I may point out, Clair, Rarity was chosen by the Element of Harmony known as Generosity. She literally embodies it with everything she does. You could sooner avoid attending a Pinkie Pie party than tell her to not help you." Princess Celestia gestured at the shop we were in. "Don't take Rarity's success to mean she wouldn't give everything to help those in need."

"I heard someone else mention these Elements of Harmony. What exactly—Saffron, Riley, you are both coming with us and if I notice you more than two ponylengths from me at any time, you're going back to Earth by catapult." Mom looked between Saffron and me. "I don't know if Celestia has a catapult big enough, but I'm sure we could get one made."

"Yes Mom!" I ran over to her as quick as I could and reared up for a hug. Mom's forelegs wrapped around and squeezed me tight. I returned her hug just as fiercely as I could. "I'm sorry. It wasn't all—" I whispered.

Mom cut in, equally as hushed. "Shh. I know. Your brother's a good boy, though." Mom gave me one more squeeze before letting go.

"Sorry, Mom. I just wanted to have some fun—" Saffron hung his head. "It's all messed up. I'm meant to be an adult, but this world just—it just doesn't have a spot for me."

"You seemed to have a good spot when you were flying," I said.

I could tell the words reminded him of what the mare had done because Saffron's face unscrewed from the anger that'd been there a moment ago and a little smile creased his lips. "It wasn't really flying, but yeah."

"With your leave, Sassy Saddles?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Oh! Oh, of course. Your Highness!" Sassy crouched one leg down and bowed to Princess Celestia. "It has been an honor and a pleasure to have your company."

"You know, there's a Gala coming up again, perhaps I'll have to come in to see about a dress."

I looked from Princess Celestia to Sassy giggled at how shocked Sassy was, but Mom was leaving the shop, and I remembered the rule she'd made. The white dress Sassy had given me swirled around my back legs but didn't touch the ground. I looked under Mom's legs to her other side to see Saffron at her other flank. "She was really nice, Mom."

"You realize what this does to your father and me, right? Richards won't take any of the blame for this. Looking after you two is our job. This means she gets to ask nosy questions and poke around more often." Mom sounded more resigned than actually upset. "But, there wasn't any rule about my son not being able to explore the city on his own. What I'll do is tell you off in front of her, Saffron, for not requesting an escort. You're going to take an ear-burning in public, and you won't be able to go anywhere without two of Richards' men with you."

"Mom," I said, "It wasn't all Saf's fault. I—"

"Riley, I know it wasn't all Saffron's fault, which is why you're going to be suffering the same fate as he is. Now, I want both of you with your most repentant faces on—that means puppy eyes and big frowns."

Trying to take the blame wasn't going to work if Mom had already assigned it to me. I hung my head and cast my eyes down to the ground as we walked outside.

Philip Ree

After the dressing down Clair gave our kids, I knew she'd need a hug. She hated disciplining them at the best of times, but being forced to use it in public would be worse than usual. Right now, however, she was still in public and there was nothing I could do but stand at her side and smile.

Clair made with all the fancy diplomacy and begged us some time to settle into our new home before the welcoming dinner tonight. Given my magic, I was definitely the most useful for carrying all our personal gear to the mansion that Clair had acquired.

Inside, the place was huge. There were dozens of rooms, a slew of which Clair claimed as our family quarters. I set down the two big packing boxes that held most of our stuff and turned to look at Clair—she was barely holding on.

"You look like you could use a massage," I said.

Saffron and Riley knew the meaning of that, and both focused their attention on the boxes of stuff which left me looking at Clair. Equestria had given me a new sense of wonder in that I'd learned to love my wife no matter what form she was in. Not that age had marred us terribly back home, but here we were both young ponies again.

We both held it together until we reached what seemed to be the master bedroom of the building before I grabbed Clair with both forelegs and pulled her against me.

Clair hugged me back and pressed her face to my neck. "I hated every second of that. I told them to look"—she sniffed hard—"I told them to look chastised, and they did it too well. Take me home. I quit."

"No you don't." I didn't dare give up the hug or she might just stomp off and make good on her words.

"I will! I—I fucking will!" Swear words were stage-2 of Clair-angry.

"Mmhmm." I started rubbing Clair's shoulders with my hooves. If one thing being a pony had taught me, it was how sensitive the equine (or maybe just pony) body was. "Can I get a growl?"

"I'm not that angry!" She kept quiet for several minutes, just letting me keep rub her shoulders. "Can we move to the bed?"

"Clair Ree!" I didn't so much loosen my grip as let her slide back just a little so we could be face to face. "Is this those burning pony urges I hear so much about?"

"I want a proper massage." Clair wiggled from my grip and pranced to the bed before flopping on it.

With a rear view, my pony side (something that I couldn't deny existed) took a great interest in my wife's assets. "No urges at all?" I climbed up on the bed, mimicking the stance an earth horse would take with a mare to a reasonable level of authenticity, and reached out to Clair's shoulders with my magic.

"Ooooh…" As her voice trailed off into an incomprehensible syllable, Clair slumped further onto the bed. "That feels amazing. Please don't stop."

Careful to position myself just right to avoid going too far with the mounting simile, I worked my magic "hands" down Clair's back, digging silver thumbs into the tightest muscles I found.

The massage was as close to sex as it was possible to get and not actually have sex, but that seemed to work for both of us. Clair sank further into the embrace of the bed while I worked my magic hands back up to her neck.

"Alright," Clair said after several minutes of my attention on her neck, "I'll stay."

I leaned forward—which resulted in my belly pressing firmly into her back—and kissed Clair between her shoulders, then a little further along, then a little further again.

My kisses were deep in her mane when Clair finally laughed and shifted under me. There was no greater example of how strong she was than the way she picked me up, rolled over, and set me back down on her belly. "There. Now we can talk face to face."

I took the opportunity to kiss Clair, and the return of the gesture revealed neither of us lacked the nervous excitement that had brought us together in the first place. It lingered long past the minute mark, I was sure, and was proof that we'd mastered (or at least become gifted amateurs at) kissing.

"You want to try for more?" Clair asked.

Oh boy did I? I kissed her lips with a quick peck. "Always."

"Well, we know doggy—pony—style works. What about missionary?"

"Missionary would be nice, but I was thinking more adventurous. Nirv—"

"Nirvana? Hey, that might work. This bed is way too soft for it, and I don't exactly want to make that kind of mess on it." Clair squirmed under me in a way that caused enough excitement that blood was already flowing to the places it needed to be.

I climbed off her, kissing a line down her body, before turning to the floor. "We're going to need a towel and a pile of pillows."

"I'll check the bathroom!"

While Clair investigated our en suite, I used my magic to carry a small nest of pillows from the huge bed to the floor and arranged them so that Clair should be able to lay on her back without discomfort. When Clair returned and tossed a huge towel over the pile, I turned to look at her.

My darling wife was excited for this—her tail flicked, her ears were alert and forward, and she pranced across the floor. "We could have done this on the bed, I guess, but I don't want to explain any mess."

I actually laughed at that. Memories rolled over me that were over thirty years old. "Remember when we got our first place together?"

Clair laughed. "And old Mrs. Nelson kept complaining that we were always using the washing machine and it was noisy?"

"Sooo many sheets." My nose twitched at a new smell in the air. We weren't exactly new to the bedroom as ponies, we'd just stuck to what was the traditional method for ponies so far. There was something more intense about sex as a pony—the smell, the sight, and the sound of Clair all had an effect on me.

Without any hesitation I walked up behind her and dipped my nose under her tail. The smell of her intensified a hundredfold. I shivered and felt my body building up for the moment even more. I took another breath before I licked along her fold.

"Whoa!" Clair jumped a little and did a little prancing dance, but when she settled she kept her rear to me and looked back over her shoulder. "Warn a girl when you're going to do that."

"I'm going to do that," I said, and did.

Several times.

"St-Stop!" A laugh bubbled through Clair's tone, which only goaded me to go one more time. "No! Dammit Phil, now I'm almost there."

"Remember when we were trying for Riley?" I asked while licking my lips.

"We don't have time for that." Clair walked around the cushions to inspect them. "Do we have time for that?"

"Nope. But maybe tomorrow night we will." I walked right into the middle of the cushions and sat down on one end of the towel with my back legs bunched under me.

Clair just stared at me, but it wasn't my eyes she was looking at. "I still can't get over how intimidatingly big it is—you are."

There was not a lot that could really stroke an aroused male's ego quite so much as a woman telling him he was big. "Well?"

"Yeah, gimme a second to work up to this. I know it fits and all, but wow, Phil." She walked toward me and turned around again. Despite every instinct screaming for me jump up and on her, I waited while Clair lay down and rolled to her back before me.

The advantage of being a unicorn over being a human was simple: magic. I reached for my power and adjusted Clair, shifting some cushions under one side of her, then lifting her rump a little to prepare to bring her toward me.

"Wait," Clair said. "You're not aiming at me."

I looked down in surprise. Sure enough, the mechanics of a pony dong meant it dropped down a little, but mostly ran parallel to my body. "Sh-Should it bend a little? How was it when you—"

"It seemed really rigid. You could try adjusting it."

I let Clair down to the cushions again and changed my grip to my penis. "Whoa!" I snuffed out my magic quickly as the shot of energy to such a sensitive spot felt like touching a live wire. "Okay, new rule, don't use magic on sensitive bits."

"Bad?"

"Enough that it doesn't feel good. Okay, let me use a hoof then." The up side, that freed up my magic to use to lift Clair up, while the down side was I needed to lean way forward to get my shaft anywhere near her.

With Clair's back legs braced just under my forelegs, however, and holding her up and myself down, I could get my large penis to the right spot (100% of wives agree).

"Philip Ree," Clair said as I pressed my tip to her entrance. "I love you so much."

I leaned forward a little more and used my magic to ease her toward me. The result was a spine-shivering sensation as her body pressed around me. My pony instincts wanted to lunge forward and start the roller coaster of sex, but I wasn't just a pony. "I love you too, Clair."

Pushing in—or pulling her back as it may be—I felt more of myself wrapped in her clutching muscles. I grunted and groaned almost as much as she did, until Clair lifted a hoof and tapped my chest. "What's wrong?"

"Lean down more," Clair said, and when I did so, she sighed. "Better. Keep going."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Fuck me, Philip Ree."

I lifted my rump with my back legs, which shoved me forwards. Clair's eyes—gazing into mine—widened and then fluttered. I pulled back and repeated the motion, which earned a happy sigh from Clair that was music to my ears.

"More! More!" Clair's cries were mixed with grunts and gasps from each thrust I delivered. Each time my groin shoved against Clair's body, she let loose another gasp.

My head was almost pressed to Clair's chest and neck, but when I tilted my head back and looked her in the eyes, our very souls connected.

I'd heard—not that I'd admit where—that horses were fast when it came to sex. Up, in, off, done. Ponies were not so cursed. The same haunches that carried me around all day, that set me into a gallop fast enough to almost keep pace with my wife, were more than capable of delivering the thrusts that pushed us both toward the most intense physical expression of love.

I saw the moment when it became too much for her. Satisfaction was as much mine as Clair's when she opened her eyes wide and managed to barely whisper my name through the tension her orgasm was putting on the muscles in her throat.

Clair wrapped both forelegs around my neck and pulled me against her.

There was no way I could break the death-grip she had on me, but with her only having hold of my neck, I could continue to pump my body against and into her.

I weathered Clair's howl of pleasure, even as I felt my own end nearing. Orgasms, I'd found, were different for stallions than men. For a man most of the show was focused in the groin, with pleasure radiating out from there. For a stallion it was focused—oddly—near the chest, and radiated down and into the groin. I felt that thrumming pressure in my chest—amplified since it was currently pressed to Clair's midsection.

Like a sexy missile the pleasure spread from my chest through my body and down to nestle above my balls. Every muscle in my body suddenly burned with the need to do something, and the raw fire of my pleasure shot from my prostate down my shaft.

Orgasm, as a stallion, was pretty good indeed.

The whole world—both worlds—faded away and there was just this circle of cushions, this towel, and us atop it. Nothing existed except for our bodies and the feelings we held for each other. My hips jerked of their own will while I stared upward at Clair's jaw. Her own whines were nothing compared to the aching grunts that bore forth from my throat.

It was incredible.

I wasn't ready for when Clair released her vice-like grip on me. Instead of standing back straight, I fell sideways on wobbly legs. My length pulled from her body thankfully without causing any undue stress since it was already flagging in hardness.

Clair laughed at me as I wound up on my back, and her laughter cranked up a notch when my body—intent on proving it was in every way superior to how it had been just a month ago—shot another jet of semen up and along my body, but off to one side.

I watched the graceful jet of my essence arc through the air in a gleeful parabola, aimed directly at the carpet. Not on my watch! I caught the fluid midair with my magic, wrapping it up like I'd cup water in my hands.

"Okay, that's just about the most silly and impressive thing I've ever seen you do," Clair said.

"Yeah?" I asked. "Now what do I do?"

"What do you mean?" Clair rolled to her belly, keeping her back end on the towel.

"How do I get up without smearing myself on the carpet or dropping this?"

My wonderful, darling wife spent the next ten minutes giggling her cute, fuzzy butt off while she got herself cleaned and got me another towel.

Author's Note

Major Richards: You do realize that by attempting to establish yourself as the boss or person in charge of the Ambassador you're actually doing the opposite of what your job entails?

"My job is to ensure there are no casualties, and everyone gets home. It is not my job to make nice with the locals. That would be Ambassador Ree's job."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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