Hi-Jinx

Welp, I’m re-writing this one too, I’m going to probably do this for each chapter, well, I hope you enjoy, comment and like or just like if you liked this, if you disliked it then dislike this; say “You’re a horrible author you should go and kill yourself.” Or don’t, you’re choice, if you see any errors, please comment and tell me said mistakes or give constructive criticism.

My eyes slowly opened, my vision focusing and un-focusing, I winced as I felt a deep-rooted throb begin in the back of my head, I reached back and touched the spot, wincing as I brought my hand back to see I had blood on my fingers, I reached back with my other hand, not realizing my hand was covered in fur. I pulled my left hand back and saw there was no blood, and that’s when I noticed the fur. What the hell…? I stood up and felt some part of me touch the ground, it frightened me so I quickly turned around and saw a red fox’s tail. I felt my ears twitch as I heard some animal step on a branch; I reached up, panicking a bit feeling cat like ears. “What the hell is going on!?” I exclaimed to no one. My shout was answered by birds flying away in trees. I took a few breathes, trying to calm down, I did and I remembered the cave and what I agreed to. I looked down and saw that I still had my cargo pants and black shirt on, I checked my pocket to see if I had my pocket knife, sadly I didn't. I looked around and saw trees and a dirt road; I began to walk down the path.

After a while of walking I could hear the bustle of a small city, not too loud, but loud enough to determine it was civilization. The road split off into two directions, I took the one leading to the noise and was greeted by a pink pony? “Hi, my name’s Pinkie Pie.” It said in a high feminine voice that was full of energy and excitement. Its large eyes stared at me. “Ooooh. What are you? Are you a Diamond Dog? No you’re too red… Are you a Red Diamond Dog!?” She rambled on about what I could be, which I wasn’t even exactly sure what I was. Before I knew it she took a hold of my hand, paw rather, and started dragging me. “I got to throw you a BIG welcome party! There’s going to be balloons, and cake, and cupcakes, and ponies, and cupcake, and cake, oh, oh did I say cupcakes?” I looked frantically around, wondering what was going on.

I’ve gotten strange looks before, but the looks I got have to have been the strangest I have ever received. I was being dragged down the middle of the street, and being gawked at ponies of all shapes and sizes. Pinkie Pie, who somehow set up an entire party and invited everyone without leaving me, pushed me into a building, where everyone, excuse me, pony there yelled, “Surprise!” As I entered, their surprise died down as they saw what I was, and then they proceeded to give me strange looks. Pinkie Pie walked in, well, bounced in and continued to pounce to five other ponies, she bounced back bringing them over, introducing them. “This is Twilight Sparkle.” She pointed a hoof at a purple pony with a dark blue mane that had one purple and one pink stripe going through it, same for the tail.

“Hello.” She said with a smile.

“This is Rainbow dash.” She said pointing to a blue Pegasus that had a rainbow mane and tail. What am I doing here?

“Hey.” She said, seemingly bored by me.

“This is Rarit-“ Pinkie Pie was about to say something but was interrupted by a white pony that had a stylish purple mane and tail.

“Ugh, your clothes, they are completely horrid, the color schemes together look absolutely dreadful.” She said, looking at my clothes distastefully.

“This is Applejack.” Pinkie said, pointing a hoof at a tannish pony with a blonde mane and tail, while Rarity kept going on about my clothes.

“Howdy, pardon for ma' friend she uh, can act like that sometimes.” Applejack said before going to Rarity to get her to stop.

“And this is Fluttersh… Where’d he go?” Said Pinkie to an empty space and a wide open door.

I was running down the road, still somewhat panicking, It’s okay, I’m not crazy, I’m just still in bed, or I was drugged, yeah, that’s it, I was drugged. I thought, hoping I wasn’t crazy. I didn’t receive any weird glances this time as no one was on the streets, they were all at the party. I got to the part of the road where it split into two; I went down the other road I didn’t go down. As soon as I made that turn, she was right there; I fell back, frightened by this. “H.. How? How did you get here?” She cocked her head at my question.

“Why’d you leave the party?” She gasped, “Did you not like my party? B-but I had cake and balloons and cupcakes and cake and cupcakes…” She said, her eyes filling with tears. I scrambled to my feet, feeling guilty.

“N-no, that’s not it I just, uh…” I said, trying to make and excuse.

She gasped as she had an idea, “Do you not like me?” I shook my head as I saw she was about to cry. Geez this pony must be really sensitive about parties. I began to slowly walk backwards as her mane un-poofed and she began crying. When she stopped she saw that I was long gone.

”Well, I hope you’re happy, not even a day into this universe you made one of the mane six cry.” Said the weird man from the cave.

“Alright, who are you, are you some sort of wizard or magic man?” I asked to the man, talking to myself in the wilderness.

”I am the God of Miss-fortune.” The God said, catching me off guard with the sudden realization.

“So, you’re some sort of God, and you sent me here to do what exactly?” I asked puzzled.

”To act as a chess piece for me, a pawn, or a knight, to be my playing card, to be my champion.” The God said as my mind wrapped around each word.

“So you want me, to be some sort of hero, or knight for you?” He materialized in front of me and nodded.

”Yes. Now, walk with me and I shall explain.” He said, wrapping an arm around my neck as we walked down a forested path. ”The Gods of the multiverse have been called upon for a great tournament on the world of Equis, by a lord of chaos named Discord. Almost every God has picked a life form, or piece, to compete in this tournament; most are given powers higher than normal organisms. I decided, however, to not give you powers past the race of animal you are, but instead, I have decided to mold you to be above the regular cut. I will use my powers to set up the worst situations for you, even though I have been advised that my plan is ludicrous I will still carry through with it, if you prove yourself that you can handle anything, no matter how tough things are, I will reward you with a prize, what this prize is, will be revealed later.” The God said, smiling at me as we stopped in front of a tranquil pond, before blowing off in the wind, leaving me alone.

Alright, so I’m in this, “Chess Game.” I have a God that’s going to try and kill me at any chance he gets to get me to be stronger, and I am extremely hungry, so I might have been knocked-out for a couple days, this all is crazy, I'm probably still home asleep in bed… Yeah that's it... I wonder if there’s a number six pencil, or ten, what would they look like? Dammit, focus, alright, so I might as well study this body, and try and study the other creatures of this world to become a bad as- My train of thought was cut off by a loud roar, I instinctively transitioned to my left, moving from my original spot, watching a large manticore pounce right past me, if I hadn’t moved I would’ve been dead. I saw it stumble upon the ground as it turned around to chase me; I began running as fast as I could for the tree-line. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! The manticore flapped it’s wings and took up in the sky, then dive-bombed towards me, gaining speed and getting closer with each passing second, my heart began to beat faster and faster, echoing in my ears. The manticore extended its front paws out, trying to get me. I could feel his claws in the back of my shirt, and just as he was about to tear me up, I turned around and slide behind a tree, letting him go past me landing face, or should I say muzzle, first into a nearby tree.

I began to yank a some-what thick branch, breaking it off I rushed the manticore as it was getting up on to its paws. I used the branch to push it’s scorpion tail down as I began to hack at the base with my claws, ripping the tail off, and hearing the manticore roar out in pain and anger as it quickly turned around to attack, as it turned I brought the branch and used his speed to apply more force and damage than what normal would’ve happened, smacking the manticore across the face, disorientating him, I then threw my legs around him, mounting the manticore and began to hack and slash at its neck. The manticore roar in pain as it flew up into the air, hoping to make me fall off, I dug my claws deep into its neck to hold on, daring not to let go. The manticore began to do aerial twists and maneuvers to launch me off its back, but it just did more harm to itself than me. I looked up ahead to see we were about to fly over another pond from earlier, it turns out the manticore didn’t go that far from home. I let go with my claws but still straddled the creature as I began to cut around the neck, trying to hit the jugular or any other artery that carried oxygen to the brain, after striking both of them, blood began to pour from the creature’s neck as it quickly bled out, making us plummet from where we were, falling at an angle. Shit, shit, this was a bad idea; I’m going to hit the ground! Why do I taste appl- I was cut off as we smacked into the water.

The surface of the water began to calm down, the manticore’s blood now giving it a red tent. The water was disrupted again by me noisily breaking the surface of the water, gasping for air as I swam to shore, I began to cough up some water as I crawled on to the ground, breathing heavily I rolled on to my back. “I’m never… Doing that again.” I said breathlessly. Once I caught my breath I looked at the trees, and decided to make a bungalow or a canopy of some sort so I could sleep without being disturbed by any creature.

After weaving the branches together and using some tree-skin I got from the trees after removing its bark, I tied the branches together so they wouldn’t come apart. I sighed, “I hope this prize this God was talking about is worth all this.” I lied down in my canopy as the sun began to set. I wonder if this universe has coffee. I’m going to need some coffee, oh, and movies, I wonder if they have any movies similar to Mel Brook’s. I thought, letting my mind go this way and that, as I began to slowly drift asleep.

Well I hope you enjoyed my re-written version of this chapter, I removed the spoofs, because I wanted this story to be a bit more serious, but I will make several movie references as well as songs. Raggle Fraggle.