Hyrulequestria

Ch.2

I sat in the Bakery, shirtless, as Princess Nightmare Moon, not ‘Moony’ or ‘Nighty’ and definitely not ‘Zelda’ which confused us both, used the shiny sparkle stuff coming from her horn to make more clothes from the rags I’d gathered while scavenging. She was wearing one of my victim’s trousers under the tunic, but otherwise, I’d ruined the jackets and shirts of all the Nazis. Said clothes were being repaired and altered as I shivered next to the fire.

“So you can make clothes?” I asked curiously. After all, if this scary and bossy lady really is a Princess, knowing how to make clothes is a bit of an odd skill to have. Then again, I don’t know how royalty works or what they do with their free time. Hm, what sort of gods are in this weird Zelda-esque world?

“Of course! I wasn’t always a Princess. My attention whore of a sister and I had to fend for ourselves before the peasantry realized we were fit to rule them and elevated us to our proper posts. Well, elevated sister to the proper post, almost forgot I even existed.” Nightmare growled as she wrung her hands, the jacket she was working on getting squashed into a ball for a moment before she kept working.

“Oh.” I eyed her shoulder, the one which after she’d used her glowy magic stuff to yank out the bullet had healed rapidly on its own. I didn’t really have anything else to try and talk about as I awkwardly looked around the room. She didn’t just completely strip the nazi soldiers of everything, she also brought every bit of armor and weaponry we passed on the way here. “So, um, what is all the broken weapons and armor for?”

“Such a silly question! I am a forgemistress! Has history truly forgotten me?” Nightmare asked as she finished cannibalizing a jacket to not only fix one of the others but to alter it looks. Visibly to make room in the chest area, for obvious reasons.

“Look, Princess. I think I’m from an entirely different world. I used to be a furless creature called a human, in a world dominated by them. We didn’t have to talk reindeer and horses-.”

“I’m a pony I’ll have you know! Horses are from the desert regions of the lands across the ocean to the east.” Nightmare interrupted as she started pulling off my far-too-tight tunic, flashing me her luscious chest as she tossed it back to me, and put her new grey jacket that had all the nazi symbolism replaced by images of her. She buttoned it up halfway, it being far too small to even hope of closing over her chest even with alteration, leaving absolute cleavage. “Well, aren’t you cold? Or are you letting me enjoy your lithe chest?”

I shivered at her teasing and put my tunic back on, thankful for its warmth. “A-anyway, I’m probably from another world. I have no clue about anything here.”

“Obviously, yet despite that, you’ve proven more than adequate as a protector, and despite your lack of prostration, I find your company somewhat pleasant.” Nightmare commented as she looked at the bed box filled with dirty rags with disdain. “Well, your living conditions notwithstanding.”

“Hey, it’s all I’ve got. Besides my sword, I was dropped here with just the clothes on my back.” I frowned at being unfairly judged, at least before her horn shined and suddenly the small box full of rags had the spare jackets and trousers thrown at it, then within moments, it was replaced by a simple queen-sized bed. “W-wha~?!”

“There.” Nightmare said as she rubbed her shoulder.

“How did you do that?! I mean, I guess magic.” I sheepishly stumbled as she looked at me with an amused smirk.

“You may be a bit slow to catch on, but yes.” Nightmare stated as she moved to sit on the bed, it compressing under her weight as she relaxed, leaning back with her arms supporting her, and I felt warm at noticing it thrust her chest out again. Is she doing this on purpose?

“So what about the creepy rainbow stuff in the keep? Is that also magic?” I asked as I fed a couple more sticks of former bows into the fire.

“Yes, very powerful magic. Those were the Elements of Harmony. Or, at least 5 of them. Whatever has happened here, they’ve been shattered. It would’ve been a good thing for me in other circumstances, but considering the kingdom seems to be in ruins, and the very air beyond Everfree is so thick with smoke it’s hard to see, I would have welcomed their aid.” Nightmare informed me as she summoned some of the ruined padded armor that was under the plate armor of the dead.

“And the beam and dome that’s keeping the smog out of this forest?” I asked as I got ready to boil more water. “From what I saw some, um, magical dome and I think that statue might be linked to how clean the air is, even if it feels weird being near that thing.”

“Whatever sister did with them before they shattered, she must’ve cast some sort of protection spell. Of course, the Elements are fickle things and act as they wish. Possibly they didn’t do what sister wanted and instead cast that dome over the Everfree.” Nightmare’s magic overtook a bunch of dirty padded armor, and soon a plain pillow was in her hands.

“So stay away from that thing?” We asked.

“Oh, feel free to poke them. They were nearly harmless and even when used to assault me, they just banished me to the moon.” Nightmare then made a couple more pillows.

“Okay...that is also bugging me? How were you on the moon? In basically steel armor without air...or food, for a thousand years?” I stressed the last part as I set the water-filled helmet over the fire.

“The intricacies of the banishment magic that imprisoned me are far beyond your ability to comprehend. I’ll simply say that it ensured I would survive, if not comfortably. As for the length of time, I am an immortal alicorn. I don’t age, it’s nearly impossible for me to get sick, and as you saw with my injury, I regenerate.” Nightmare stated as she then made a blanket. All-in-all the plain white bed, blankets, and pillows almost made me nervous, what with how dirty everything else was, that was an OCD nightmare waiting to happen.

“Okay then.” I shrugged. If she says it’s too complicated I’m not going to stick my head in it. While waiting for the water to boil, I got up and checked my weapons.

“Where are you going?” Nightmare asked as I grabbed a mostly-intact flour sack.

“To get dinner. There’s a wild garden nearby with plenty of food.”

“Oh, well be sure to bring back any other cloth you come across, or weapons if you can manage. The more materials I have to work with the better.” Nightmare declared as she continued to weave magic on the former bakery.

“Okay, but don’t expect an armory.” I joked in regards to the one she brought back.

“Hush. Now begone to do your task. If possible bring me carrots, or apples. I’ve missed simple luxuries.” Nightmare waved me away and I left to do as I planned. Hopefully when the water starts boiling she knows what to do with it.

---]===>

“Okay, I’m back! I’ve got several apples, carrots, a few-HOLY SHIT!” I recoiled at the sight of the former bakery, and then yelped when a door, previously gone from the frame, slammed shut behind me, the place well lit by magic lights hanging on the ceiling, the place spotless and clean, with none of the junk she’d brought in laying around. In fact, aside from her, everything but the kitchen was gone.

“Ah, good. Give one here.” Nightmare approached hurriedly, opening the sack and pulling out an apple, biting into it and groaning in a far-too-sexual way as she moved back towards the stairs. “Oh~ that is good. Get to cooking peasant, I’m still working on the living quarters upstairs.”

“Uh...what happened?” I asked looking around. “And Peasant?”

“What? Would you prefer I knight you? Okay, by the power vested in me, blah, blah, I dub thee Ser Chef, get cooking.” Nightmare waved me off to the incredibly well-equipped kitchen that while not gas or electric, as well more than enough for me to work with. It even had a full assortment of proper pots, pans, and other cooking utensils.

“Okay...um...soup then,” I said with concern. I mostly made stuff from frozen TV dinners in recent history. Sure, Lois; my mom, was a chef and taught me most of what I know, but I haven’t cooked in like...seven years, too drugged up to work a stove. “Yeah, I think I remember soup at least.”

Now I miss my mom. I whined as she walked back upstairs and I looked forlornly at the cooking equipment. No John. Get it together man. You have a scary, sexy, magic pony princess to make dinner for. Wait, did I just call her sexy in my head? But I’m not a furry! I looked down at myself and sighed in resignation. Whatever, if the boot fits, right?

So I got to work. The water I was boiling was in a proper pot now and somehow still bubbling hot without fire. Maybe these runes etched on the sides of the pot are magic? I shrugged, and set aside the apples since I didn’t know how to cook those, but figured a vegetable stew wouldn’t be too hard...where’d she get salt and pepper for these shakers?

I had been at it for maybe an hour when I squeaked at feeling someone pressing into my back. “Hm~ that smells good! It’s a simple soup, but it is more than adequate considering the situation.” Nightmare leaned around me, her chest unavoidably pressing into me as she used the ladle to bring her a spoonful, taking a sip. “Mm, yes. That’ll do. I’m too hungry to wait longer.”

“O-okay.” I squirmed away from the domineering woman, feeling warm and my heart pounding in my ears as I went to get a couple of bowls, only to hear her heft up the pot with magic, and gawked as she somehow started chugging the soup straight from it. I watched, transfixed as she rubbed her flat stomach, her wings fluttering as she swallowed the broth. After a minute she put the pot down, sighing in satisfaction before looking at me warmly. “Uh...you...um...liked it?”

“That was exquisite for my first meal free from imprisonment. I may have overindulged in the broth though, there are mostly still vegetables in there.” Nightmare admitted with a smile.

“Glad you like it.” I said, my ears perked up and my fluffy tail wagging happily as I wondered how this whole situation was going to work out.

“I’m not a food snob like my sister. Simple home cooking is better than most fine dining. Well done Ser Chef.” Nightmare grinned at the end and I snorted.

“My name is John, Princess.” I can’t believe I didn’t give her my name until now. Then again, she’s always been in control of the situation and it never came up.

“Well then Ser John, you’d best eat and get ready for bed. We have a long day tomorrow.” Nightmare declared, heading to the stairs as I served myself a bowl of stewed vegetables.

Hm, she’s right. I guess I remembered mom’s cooking instructions better than I thought. After eating, I went up the stairs and gawked at the immaculate wood living area. The windows were covered with plain white drapes and the bed was somehow moved up here. Nightmare was already in bed under the blankets. “Um...where am I sleeping?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, about that. I only had enough material to cover the windows by the time I was done with the downstairs. You’ll just have to cuddle your Princess. Oh, woe is you.” Nightmare chuckled with that husky voice and I felt my still-new tail puff up, my body warming in a way I wasn’t accustomed to. “Besides, it is cold, and it’ll be easier to stay warm if we share heat.”

“Uh,” I stated in shock and looked around, fidgeting in place, my tail swishing about nervously. She was doing this on purpose, her face said it all with that cheeky smirk and those lidded eyes. I gulped. Get it together John. This isn’t your first rodeo, and you’re acting like a total blushing virgin! Wait I am once again if this is a new body. Argh, new body, weird stuff, argh!

“Oh don’t worry. I won’t be violating your chastity. Well, so long as you don’t get frisky.” She winked, and I had to turn around, my tail flicking as I tried to calm down, somehow this made her laugh even harder. “Oh, fine, I’ll stop tormenting you. I’m still wearing a nightgown under here, just take off your belt and other equipment and climb in clothed if it is easier.”

“Uh,” I said looking at the door.

“Come now, don’t be shy. Why I’ll even be the big spoon if it’ll help so you don’t accidentally poke me with-.”

“Fine! S-stop talking about th-things like that!” I felt so hot by now I worried my fur might catch fire or something. I moved towards the bed and took off my belt, placing my sword and rifle against the wall. Then I took off my boots and lifted the blanket, immediately yelping and looking away. “You said you were in a nightgown!” That’s a sheer nightie!

“I am...have people’s standards for bedclothes changed?” Nightmare asked curiously, genuinely confused, then huffed. “Look. I’m trying to be accommodating. Don’t make me order you to lay on your back as I satisfy my 1000 year long-repressed need for male company. I prefer my partners to be willing, and since you’re so uncomfortable right now, I promise to just snuggle.”

I gulped as I got in the bed, trying to get comfortable as she pulled me in close. She pressed my snout into her cleavage, and we both laid there under the covers.

---]===>

I blinked. Why am I in my old unhealthy body, in my crap apartment? The dirty t-shirt I would normally wear on days off, clinging to my gaunt frame, my pants were torn from what looked like me cutting them. I groaned as I pulled the needle out of my arm and looked around.

I looked outside the window to see the other life, the one my mom always told me I could have before all this crap happened. I was happy, doing work in a kitchen, maybe painting, or writing a book. Instead, I was working at a grocery store, making barely enough money to do my bad habits.

Groaning I got up from my old sofa and walking around, looking around my crappy apartment full of mold because the Landlord didn’t care. I barely cared to pick up after myself, so there was some trash on the floor as I stepped on some chips, looking around the grey walls and to the few pictures I had on the wall. One was of my mother and me working over a stove, it was the only one not damaged and on a clean spot. The other was one of the rare occasions my sister, Elanor, wasn’t being a total bitch and was hugging me in a picture at a family outing.

I looked at them forlornly for a while, then I walked around my home, partly thinking of how that weird fox body may have been the dream. I was doing things I’ve never done before, mostly killing. Though the stuff outside was more dreamlike.

“Or I’m just high as fuck like normal.” I groaned, rubbing my head. “Not like I hadn’t had episodes like this before.”

A distorted giggle echoed through my home, the eyes of the pictures turning yellow/orange. Yep, high as fuck.

I looked around again, mostly seeing the squalor I lived in. A one-room apartment that I could barely afford, with damage that had been there before I even moved in. The roof leaked from whenever my neighbors took a bath and I had buckets out for that. I had reported it, but no one really cared about me or my shitty place.

Is it me, or does it look even shittier than usual? When did I paint that wall purple? Whatever.

I moved to the kitchen, the only place I really kept clean. It was something my mother drilled into me, I just couldn’t let a kitchen stay dirty. I looked back to my the rest of dirty apartment, the walls with peeling paint, the sagging ceiling, and moldy carpet. But this kitchen was my sanctuary, the only place I kept clean.

I huffed as I started making breakfast, using what meager supplies I could afford. Eggs, some chicken meat, and a bit green peppers to make an omelet. I hadn’t cooked in seven years but that weird dream gave me a bit of a drive to try.

After a bit though, I ended up burning the whole dish, the giggles getting louder, making me so angry that I tossed it into the wall. I grabbed one of my shitty TV dinners with a huff and stuffed it into the microwave. Setting the time I walked back to my couch and rummaged for another needle, being high as hell was better than this shame in myself as I looked at the shattered and shredded picture of my EX-wife.

I jumped as a black hand stopped me and I looked to see a worried Nightmare looking down at me it was sudden, but now I had only become fully aware of the mocking laughter as the giggling stopped. She looked at everything in my shitty apartment, from the kitchen and ruined omelette to the walls and only clean spot on the walls, holding the only pictures I valued.

“This was how you lived?” Nightmare asked me, her voice sounding a lot different. “In your old realm? Living off such terrible food and, serums in needles, incomplete Squalor?” She asked as her gaze turned to the syringe in my hand. “What led to this? To such a need, care so little of yourself and your own home?”

“I...I” I blinked in disbelief, she was here? I hadn’t even stuck the needle in. Was she real? Was this the dream?

“You fell asleep, then started whimpering and struggling in my arms.” Nightmare explained. “I entered the Dreamsleeve to access your dream state.” She sighed. “Never in all my memories have I seen such a low sense of self, and I have had the misfortune of entering some rather unsavory dreams.”

“Then…” I looked down at the syringe full of poison, and dropped it on the floor, shuddering as I choked, trying not to sob in relief that this wasn’t my life anymore. “Oh thank god~!” I tried to put my hands in my face, but Nightmare didn’t let go of my wrist, an odd softness in her eyes as her pupils rounded for a moment, but even though they returned to slits, they didn’t have the harshness they usually contained.

“You really are quite pathetic.” Nightmare smirked as she waved her other hand, the horrid manifestation of my former life shattering like glass, and suddenly we were in a dark, regal throne room, with me sitting on the throne. “Well, quite impertinent of a peasant, to sit in my throne!”

“H-huh?” I was a fox again, my frame still skinny, but corded with wiry muscle under my tunic and trousers rather than skin and bones. “Oh, sorry. I’ll…” I froze as Nightmare sat in my lap, straddling me with her legs over the arms of the throne, pressing her chest under my chin. I felt so hot suddenly, so helpless at the mercy of those predatory eyes leering down at me as her fanged grin seemed to shine from the lights.

“Well then, I guess you’ll have to be my throne, won’t you? I’m not usually one for giving sweet dreams. In this case, however, I’ll indulge my savior with a kiss.” Nightmare declared before pulling me into a searing kiss that blew my mind and everything went pink.

---]===>

I slowly awoke to the warmth of the sun on my fur. I turned away, snuggling into the blankets and pillows. I drifted off, then finally woke up and sat up in the warm and welcoming bed with a jaw-cracking yawn. “Mm...Princess?” I asked as I looked around, the place just as clean and structurally improved as last night, but no sign of the black mare.

I got out of bed and went downstairs, finding a wooden barricade had been installed on the inside of the door and a note written in charcoal was pinned to it.

John. I’ve left to survey the Everfree and try to find any trace of my sister. As much as I am loathed to admit it, she may be of great help in my future endeavors. I’ve made you a longbow and a quiver with arrows so you don’t have to keep using that loud weapon’s ammo when it isn’t necessary. I should be back by nightfall.

Nightmare Moon

PS. Work on your stamina. *kiss mark*

I felt so hot in the face I thought my cheeks might catch fire. We did it last night? When? Did she do me in my sleep?! Wait no the dream, We were in the throne room...but the dream had something before...I can’t remember much but giggling, and pink. Why pink?

Looking around I found said bow and quiver, putting them on along with my sword and rifle before I walked out. It was as simple as lifting the thick wood bar up on it’s pivot and firmly shutting the door once I was out. I noticed it was mid morning so I decided to gather some more vegetables and maybe catch a deer for meat. I went for the veggies first.

Gathering a little from the wild gardens, I loaded them up into a bag before moving back to the Bakery. The bag was something I had found on me when I woke but hadn’t paid much attention to until just now, not hard with how light it was. Weighed down with the vegetables, it was much more noticeable.

“Brawk!” I heard and turned to see some chickens waddling to a ruin, visible nests within now that I looked.

“How did I miss that before?” I scratched my head and then shrugged. At least I know where to get eggs. I’d rather not kill the hens or other birds when there’s a bigger game available that don’t give eggs. “Well, I was focused on wood the second day.”

I finished returning to the bakery and followed the notes Nightmare left everywhere on what did what. She actually bothered to enchant the whole kitchen to the point it was like a modern kitchen, only still no microwave. But who needs that when you have a self-heating pressure cooking pot! I decided to make some salad though since I didn’t feel like doing something difficult. Go me, even when I have such opportunity I go the lazy route.

“Maybe try for some meat again,” I commented to myself as I started cutting the veggies up. It was going to be very basic as I had no dressing, but I had enough variety here for a decent simple salad. “YIP!” I barked as two familiar orbs pressed into my back and arms wrapped around me.

“Oh? Salad? Well, better than eating grass.” Nightmare declared as she looked over my shoulder.

“U-um. Yeah. I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.” I admitted meekly, trying not to focus on how closely she was pressed to me, or that my tail was in between her thighs.

“I’m just stopping by. I figured I’d grab a meal before I continue my search.” Nightmare informed me, running her hands up and down my flat stomach, making me shiver.

“Oh, okay,” I said with my face hot as hell again as I started combining the ingredients together, carrots, lettuce, squash, and some celery. Real shame we don’t have dressing. “Here you go, sorry we don’t have dressing.”

“That’s alright, we’re hardly in the lap of luxury.” Nightmare took the bowl and I froze as she kissed my cheek, vanishing in a sparkly dark haze.

“Ah?” I squeaked as I felt my pants tenting. I groaned as pulled a chair to the counter and started eating. The salad actually tasted pretty good, helping relax me as I tried to turn my mind to hunting.

A bit of masturbation may have been involved in helping get my mind out of the gutter.

---]===>

A buck. At least a few years old judging by the antlers. I was perched in a crumbling tower, a staircase inside still intact to the third floor. I aimed down at it with my bow. Breath in. Out. *TWANG* The bodkin arrow flew true, piercing the animal’s rib cage right over it’s heart. The poor creature cried out in agony before falling and laying still.

I sighed at the taken life, and prayed lightly to whatever being this world has to take souls, be they Din, Nayru, Farore, or what have you, to ferry the buck smoothly. I jumped down the tower and bounced from branch to branch, landing next to the buck with grace. I blinked. “Okay, how the hell did I do that?” I shook my head with a sigh and knelt down to get to harvesting...only to realize I didn’t have a knife.

“Forget something?” I flinched as a familiar black hand held a knife out over my shoulder.

“Yep, thanks.” I took the incredibly sharp-looking and robust knife from Nightmare’s hand and got to slitting the buck from groin to neck. “So how is your search going?”

“It’s going badly, to be honest. All the smaller towns have been retaken by the Everfree, and whatever that smoke beyond the barrier is, I can’t handle breathing it for long without water breathing magic.” Nightmare huffed in annoyance as she watched me work, peeling the skin off first to get it out of the way and also to try tanning it later.

“Smog, a gas that builds up in the atmosphere when a large amount of coal and oil is burned. Very toxic, can cause lung damage, and cancer. It also holds heat from the sun in the lower atmosphere leading to rising seas, and possibly a complete shift in the world's climate or even killing said world.” I explained global warming the best I could to her.

“That is all caused by burning charcoal and lamp oil?” Nightmare asked in shock as she looked back to the sky.

“Not really in small amount. It’s more complicated than that Princess, but it’s the gist of it.” I said, starting to cut sections in the meat to separate it for easier transport and storage. “You mind helping me get this back to the bakery?” I asked as I reclaimed the arrow.

“I’ll just send that on ahead for you, I still have much searching to try.” Nightmare’s horn flickered and the buck vanished, I guess back to the bakery. “You can harvest tannin from oak trees if you want to try tanning that hide without using feces.”

“Thank you Princess.” I said bowing a bit, some part of my mind registering that was correct. I think I got some of my new skills from Robin Hood, it would explain a few things.

“I live to serve my subjects.” Nightmare winked at me before she used her wings to take to the air.

---]===>

Magic fridge and magic freezer. Made of wood. I opened and closed the freezer chest that had most of the deer in it in a bit of fascination. Where does the power for it come from? Oh well, whatever. Tonight it's venison stew with carrots and potatoes. That pressure cooker she made should finish it within an hour.

I looked out of one of the high windows, seeing it was already getting dark. “Huh...today flew by.”

“Not as much as I did.” Nightmare cheekily commented, making my fur stand on end at her teleporting behind me as usual. “Seeing your tail get all puffed up when I do that will never get old.”

“You scare me every time!” I yelped, happy I didn't have a knife in my hands right now what with the deer’s shanks in the pot already, bone in for even more flavor.

“What part of my name makes you think that’s a bad thing for me?” Nightmare laughed as she approached me and I backed up to the counter until she was pressing up against me, her face inches from mine. “You’re so pathetic and needy.”

“U-uh…” I didn’t have a response, and Nightmare just cooed as she ran her hands down my chest, down my stomach, into my pants-then backed off, leaving me panting and aghast.

“You’re so precious.” Nightmare winked at me before turning and sauntering towards the stairs. “Smells good Ser Chef. Bring me a bowl when it’s ready.” She flicked her tail as she walked before heading upstairs.

“O-Okay.” I panted out, my body flush with heat and confused emotions. “What have I gotten myself into?” Stupid sexy Nightmare! I have a throbbing boner in my pants again!

“Oh, and don’t go outside at night! Undead wander about. I’m currently confused as to why they don’t attack us.” Nightmare called down. “But I wouldn’t risk nightly walks!”

“WHAT?!” I’ve been sleeping at night! That first night I didn’t even have a door! Boner killed, existential terror setting in-oh gawd why~?!