TRIGGER WARNING 2: EVEN MORE TRIGGERING!
"Alright got my paper, and my pen and now it is time to write a story. Here goes."
Celestia...
“Hold on you can’t say that!”
“Wait, Pinkie why are you here? What do you mean I can’t say that?”
“Silly writer, Canterlot Caste has a strict PC policy now, no exceptions regardless of the universe! You have to put the word princess before Celestia when you speak of her highness.”
“Okay, let me fix that.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on her…
“Wait a minute, how do you know the princess identifies as a ‘her’, hmmm?”
Well Pinkie it is a princess after all. Aren’t they female?
“Well physically, yes but you are assuming her gender is the same.”
“Okay I’ll try again.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the main ballroom when…
“Hold on! How do you know the ballroom identifies as the main one? For all you know that ballroom prefers to be the secondary ballroom of another!”
“Pinkie there is only one ballroom in the castle”
“Well maybe its feelings would be hurt if you labeled it. Ever thought of that?”
“I can’t say I have. I guess I’ll try again.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Celestia’s sister…
“Hang on a minute Mr. Writer!! How do you know that is the princess’s sister?”
“Pinkie what are you talking about? That’s Luna, scratch that, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia’s canonical sister.”
“Well you shouldn’t assume! Perhaps she identifies as her brother!”
“Pinkie that ridic-”
“Stop assuming genders!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll start over.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna trotted…
“Hang on, how do you know she was trotting? Maybe that’s just how she walks.”
Alright Pinkie if it means that much to you I'll change the part about her trotting however, this is really getting out of hand."
“You mean hoof!”
“Pinkie, sweetie-"
“You can’t say that to me, that use of sweetie is considered a very derogatory statement and you should be ashamed.”
Okay, let’s start all over. Pinkie, I like you a lot in a very platonic way, but please stop breaking my story.”
“How dare you assume this is your story? You may have written it, but I am reading it, clearly this is MY story.”
“Pinkie I respectfully ask you to knock off this obnoxious behavior.”
“How dare you assume I am the one being obnoxious?
“Alright Pinkie let’s calm down and I will try, yet again, to tell my story properly.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna came through the door. Princess Celestia asked if Princess Luna had eaten…
“You can’t say that! Are you saying Luna’s fat and she needs to eat all the time?”
“No Pinkie that’s not what I-”
“Well maybe you should make that more clear to the readers!”
“Alright I think I understand, I will give it another go.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna came through the door. Princess Celestia Inquired as to whether Princess Luna had eaten breakfast as it appeared Princess Luna had not. Princess Celestia wanted to know if Princess Luna wanted some cake, as Princess Celestia had made one.
“How do you know that’s a cake?”
“Pinkie I honestly don’t know how to answer that.”
“Just saying but maybe it has other ideas about what it is! I mean have you asked it what it thinks?”
“Pinkie I’m not going to ask a dessert I created on paper what it-”
“You really don’t care about others, do you? That dessert could have ambitions and dreams.”
“I do care, but it's highly unlikely the cake does, Pinkie.”
“Well you won’t know until you ask.”
“Pinkie I’m not gonna-”
“ASK IT WHAT IT IS AND WANTS!”
“Alright, Pinkie, just relax, put down the knife. I’m going, I’m going.”
“Excuse me, fictional made-up dessert on my writing paper made of words that I created, how do you feel about being labeled a ‘cake’?”
“Pinkie, it’s not answering me. IT's not even real! Why am I doing this? This is stupid.”
“Maybe you offended it. By labeling it, a cake and that's why it isn't speaking to you.”
“Fine I will graciously take your criticism into consideration and start over once more. Why don't we add you to the story?"
"That sounds like fun! Let's get this party started!"
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna came through the door. Princess Celestia Inquired as to whether Princess Luna had eaten breakfast as it appeared Princess Luna had not. Princess Celestia wanted to know if Princess Luna wanted some breakfast dessert, as Princess Celestia had made one. It was then Pinkie Pie entered and she…“Wait do you identify as a 'she'?”
“Yes, thank you for asking.”
“Alright! Finally making progress.”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna came through the door. Princess Celestia Inquired as to whether Princess Luna had eaten breakfast as it appeared Princess Luna had not. Princess Celestia wanted to know if Princess Luna wanted some breakfast dessert, as Princess Celestia had made one. It was then Pinkie Pie entered and she was with Princess Luna, whose black body-
“Hold up there silly writer! That’s racist!”
“What is it Pinkie?”
“You can’t say black body! That’s identifying her by skin color!”
“Pinkie her skin is literally black!”
“But you can’t say that!”
“Not even to describe her?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Pinkie, I understand what you are saying but I think you may be misunderstanding the meaning behind it-”
“You don’t want everyone thinking you’re a racist right?”
“You know what Pinkie, screw it you have a point. Let me fix that!”
Princess Celestia was sitting on a throne in the ballroom when Princess Luna came through the door. The End.
“Happy Pinkie?”
“That story was boring, going to dislike it. You suck at writing!”
“I give up! I need a martini.”
“How do you know it’s a martini?”
“Pinkie, I swear I want to strangle you.”
