Pirate Captain Anon [RGRE]

As the Green Bastard started to close in on the strange ship you made your way down onto the main deck where the assembled crew stood ready. Many of them looked to you for confidence and reassurance, something which you managed to radiate as you strode down the helm's staircase dressed in your crimson tailcoat, black breeches and leather tricorn hat. You wielded a cutlass in one hand and a flintlock pistol in the other, with various other pistols, ammunition and daggers strapped all over your body. Seeing the Captain stride so confidently gave the men renewed vigour, despite the fact that your stomach was churning like the ocean swell and your heart thundered in your mouth.

The two ships were now almost side by side and you could see the curious wide eyed faces of the small horses peering over the side of the deck to look down at you. All at once your men began screaming bloodthirsty war cries as they threw boarding ropes and began to board the enemy vessel. The horses looked surprised, backing away from the edge as your men ascended with daggers clenched between their teeth and cutlasses held at the ready. You followed them aboard, your calloused hands pulling you up the boarding rope almost effortlessly until you crested the edge and jumped down onto the deck.

"Avast!" You screamed, "I be the dreaded pirate Captain Anonymous, and this is me crew! Now, I want you to hand over all yer arms and line up on the deck over there, any messin' around and we'll gut ye like fish!"

The reaction was not what you expected, as instead of cowering in fear or putting up any sort of a struggle, the equines stared at you with expressions of intrigue and curiosity. You raised your pistol as one of them, a coppery coloured mare with a long messy light-brown mane and tail and a picture of a ship on her rear, took a step forwards. She was the only one that was fully dressed, in garbs similar to your own including pointy tricorn hat with a red feather poking out of it, leading you to assume that she was the captain of this bizarre vessel. Your thoughts seemed to come screeching to a halt as the creature opened it's mouth and spoke:

"W-we don't have arms... or hands. What are you and why have you climbed aboard my ship?" It asked hesitantly.

"Shiver me fuckin' timbers Cap'n, did that horse just speak to ye?" Nameless muttered as he stood by your side looking completely perplexed. A shout of "Hay, we're ponies! Watch your mouth!" was heard from somewhere in the group before your mind rebooted and you could form coherent thoughts again. The first thought was how utterly stupid the pony captain's reply was.

"Don't be cracking wise with me, pony!" You spat. "Yer weapons, give 'em 'ere and nobody gets hurt!"

The look of confusion on her face grew.

"We don't have weapons either, why would we need weapons?"

This pony was starting to piss you off, and you leered threateningly close to her as you spoke.

"No weapons? No flintlocks or cutlasses? Not even a bleedin' dagger?"

The mare shook her head, frowning.

"We have knives but they're just cutlery for eating with, they're not very sharp. What use would we have for weapons in the middle of the ocean?"

You pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation, silently cursing the day you decided stealing a boat and becoming a pirate was a good idea.

"Alright lass, fine." You sighed. "Let's just say that you are the harmless little ponies that you appear to be, now get over there and stand still whilst we truss you up and have a look at yer cargo"

Mild irritation mixed with confusion on the captain's face as she took another step towards you.

"Look miss, I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing but-"

"MISS?! Nameless, are me ears filled with sea water or did this scurvy little nag just call me miss?!"

Your mind was a frenzy of outrage and total confusion, you couldn't make any sense at all of the almost comical situation you'd wound up in. Colourful talking ponies manning a ship all by themselves, who were unarmed and thought you were FEMALE?

"W-w-wait, you're... male?" The pony captain stuttered, tripping over her words.

"Aye of course I'm a bloody-"

"What's a group of stallions doing all alone out here on the high seas? This is no place for frail and ditzy colts! I assumed that with your long hair and being a ship crew you'd all be female..."

Frail and ditzy.... This tiny talking horse was gonna get-

"And why are you carrying rusty swords and those little tube things? Those look dangerous, you should put them down and let us mares put them away somewhere safe". The mare took a step towards you, reaching a hoof out towards your pistol.

"Get back ye scurvy wench!" You yelled, firing the flintlock off in the air to intimidate her. The noise scared the shit out of the little pony captain and the rest of her crew, who all flinched and jumped back. Now you were seeing the fear that you had expected.

"Now, like I said, gather round and don't make a fuss while me lads tie you up. Me and me First Mate are gonna go see what goodies you've got in yer cargo holds." You grinned. You stayed briefly to oversee your men tying up the captive ponies and tried to think about what to do after you'd discovered the booty.

There was the odd squeak of protest or discomfort from the ponies as they were tied up, but you swear your ears also picked out a couple of giggles here and there. Before you could dwell any further on this bizarre and uncomfortable situation, you stormed off down the stairs that led below deck, Nameless following shortly behind.

You gave a deep sigh as you stopped just short of where the cargo hold should be, leaning against the wooden wall.

"Nameless... did ye put somethin' in me rum?"

The old salt gave a dry chuckle.

"I'm wondering if Unnamed slipped us something in the stew, or p'raps we really are dead men and this is some cruel joke being played on us in the afterlife"

"I thought we'd be cursed to sail an endless sea, or burn in the fiery pits of hell for our sins. I've no idea what to make of a ship full of ponies" You muttered bitterly.

"Aye well, I'll take me chances with ponies considering the alternatives. Now, what do ye say we take a peep at this ship's precious cargo?" Nameless replied, standing up straight and shaking himself off, trying to reinvigorate himself.

Your focus came back into clarity as you remembered the ultimate goal of this endeavour- Treasure. You held your breath as you crept into the cargo hold, trembling with renewed excitement at the prospect of untold riches, but also fear at the chance of there being nothing of value. Your trepidation only grew as you saw dozens of closed chests. There could be anything inside them, from mouldy old clothes to heaps of gold and silver.

You walked over to the nearest chest and gripped the lid, your knuckles turning white from the force of your grip, but at least your hands no longer shook. As you slid the lid back, your heart was in your mouth, pounding like a drum, then it was as if a choir of angels were singing as golden light shone from within the chest.

Gold.
An entire chest full of gold.

You turned to Nameless who was himself enraptured as he looked inside another chest. You could see gems heaped within it, all different shapes and colours and sizes. Just one of these chests alone was worth more than you had plundered over your entire career as a pirate!

You were giddy with excitement, and as he turned to you it was clear Nameless felt the same. You both began to laugh maniacally as you ran around the room, flinging open the chests to find them all filled with precious booty. It was more than you ever could have dreamed of; you could all go and live a life of luxury if you wanted to! Even great kings had never seen this much gold!

You felt like you were in a dream as you rushed back up to the main deck to tell your crew.