Pirate Captain Anon [RGRE]

The return of your crew was heralded by several men bursting out onto the deck, sprinting at full speed. They immediately ran to the edge and began throwing up violently down the side of the ship. More men filtered out, some staggering and looking dazed whilst others just stood silently with their faces bright red and unable to make eye contact with anyone.

The last man to come out was Nameless, and you stared aghast as you saw that his breeches had been ripped clean off. He stomped over to you, looking extremely pissed off and flustered, then snatched the bottle out of your hand and downed the rest of it in one go.

"Shiver me timbers... Nameless mate, what the hell happened down there?" You asked, your voice full of concern.

Nameless looked at you with a thousand yard stare and you dreaded to hear what had gotten such a hardened man so shaken up.

"W-we took 'em to the crew's sleeping quarters to lock 'em up. They thought we took 'em there for... other reasons, started gettin' on their beds and... presenting themselves to us". You both shuddered at his words. "We tried tellin' 'em to get in a huddle so we could tie 'em up again, but they were 'avin' none of it! Started askin' when we were gonna get to the 'good part' and quit teasin'"

He then paused to compose himself before he carried on with his harrowing tale.

"That was when they rushed us. Started jumping up at people, rubbing against 'em, trying to force tongues down throats! The lads panicked and started runnin' for the door, and one of the nags ripped me pants off whilst I tried to keep 'em at bay, started sticking her face in 'em whilst i turned tail and fled." He gave a shuddering breath as he recalled the traumatic memory. "I... I feel violated, Captain."

A small amount of fear began to well as he told you what had happened. You put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes, which still couldn't meet your own.

"You did lock the door, right Nameless?"

"Aye Captain, slammed it right in their faces and locked it up. There were shouts and cries from within, somethin' about blue beaning 'em, though I don't know what that means"

You sighed in relief, thankful that you weren't about to be stampeded and raped by a bunch of colourful ponies.

"You and the lads did a fine job Nameless..." You cleared your throat and shouted to the rest of the crew. "I've got some very good news for you lads. The booty this ship's hauling will make us all rich beyond our wildest dreams!"

This got their attention, but some of them still looked at you with some disbelief and scepticism.

"But that's not it lads, in the store room me and Unnamed found a little somethin' else..." You held up a bottle of rum and took a swig, before stepping to the side and revealing the crates of booze that you had brought up. "Help yourselves boys, there's enough down there to make the entire British Navy drunk!"

There was a cacophony of "Arrrrr!"s and cheers as the men rushed over, each grabbing a bottle and immediately starting to drink. You had a huge toothy grin on your face as you watched the men celebrate, knowing that the embarrassment and awkwardness from earlier would soon be forgotten in a drunken daze. Honestly now that you thought about it, a little flirting from some tiny horses was an absolutely minute price to pay for all the riches you were stealing off them. And also a little bit flattering if you really thought about it.

Your paranoia and concern about the ship or the ponies being cursed was soon thrown to the wind as you felt the alcohol kicking in. Your plans for a quick getaway were abandoned as you took another pull from the bottle and turned to your cook who was still stood beside you.

"Unnamed, grab a handful o lads and get down to the kitchen. I want you to prepare the biggest feast ye can, and make sure to bring plenty more booze back up with ye"

"Aye aye Captain!" He grinned, grabbing several guys and hurrying off below deck.

You took a seat on a stray barrel and watched as the alcohol slowly washed away all the fears and trauma that the day had brought. Awkward mumbling and embarrassed looks turned into laughter, jokes and cheer. Now that they were safely away from the lusty little ponies they could reflect on how humorous and bizarre the whole ordeal had been, and how silly and out of character their reactions were.

They also pondered over how they were going to spend the loot they got and what sort of life they were going to live after they got back. For some, piracy was the only life they knew and desired. Others had aspirations of buying land and fancy houses, and a lot you reckoned would just use it to drink themselves to death. You didn't know what you were going to do with your own cut. You could spend it all on the finest ship money could buy, deck it out with the most powerful armaments ever invented and become the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the seas. However if this day had taught you anything it was that you were seriously tempting fate if you continued down this path.

You decided to leave the contemplating for later though and enjoy the moment, grabbing your bottle and heading over to mingle with your crew.