The Equestrian Monomyth - Book 1 - Be a Good Brony or Die Trying

I wasn't lying when I spoke about the massacre. I should have cleaned half of the forest dangerous fauna: Spiders,
manticores, timberwolves, chimeras, bears ( Could I had killed Harry the Bear...? Nah, this one seems wild ), etc...
even two or three pesky cockatrices that will be my own equestrian chicken fries.

I did the rampage for two reasons:

First: I wanted to get Seymour safe so he could get us out, and Second and more important: I was in the mood for a
massacre. Yep, I could simply took Seymour to Zecora's place, but that'll surely bring up some troublesome questions,
and even worse, I'll had no reason for executing the massacre.

When I finished, I became worried for the high number of dead bodies:

" Damn! Zecora will get pissed off if she find this out! " So, I cast a levitator gun from the game Portal and took all
the remains to a hole I have found. The hole leads to a cave with a little pool, where I threw all the corpses.

" Well, that'll do. " I greeted myself, satisfied.

Then I stepped back to Seymour:

" I bet you had your fun, do you? " He shrunk an eye.

" Hell I had! This was like Far Cry Primal, but 1000 percent better! " I opened my arms in the edge of joy.

" Come on, Gus! You're already near the forties! Behave yourself. "

" Ohhh... Don't tell me now that you're concerned for those poor critters. " I mocked him.

" Is not that. Is that your... killer instincs, are kinda freaking me out. "

" Chicken. Well, tell me some good news. "

" The news? Well, there's a good one and a bad one. "

I really didn't want to hear the bad. Let's pospose it, do we?

" Which is the good one? "

" I figured out how to come back... "

" Wow! That's the best of news! Come on, it's almost nightfall and I wanna bath! " I cheered happily.

" Not so quick, buster. " He stopped me with an opened hand " You're not going to like what you're gonna see. "

" Bah. What could have happened? The Third World War started while we were out? Come on! " I took out importance to the
issue, knowing how exagerated can be Seymour sometimes.

It turns he wasn't exagerating.

We appeared inside what'll be his room, just it doesn't look like his room. No VR rack, no TV, no fancy computers and
video games around. Just an empty room. I looked to Seymour, worried.

" Seymour, dude...what... what happened? "

" It's not what happened. " He answered with a despaired tone. " It's what's not. "

He extended a newspaper to me, and I took it. My eyes opened wide:

" Thursday, 9th December 2010?! We traveled back in time?!! But how?!! "

" Remember that I told you that I've done some improvements to the VR systems? "

" Yeahhh... " I started sweating, as I was imagining what was coming next.

" I used this new prototype chip, that subatomic based one... "

" What...?! That one, which breaks the rules of time and space...?! "

" The very same... "

" Holy shit! And now how we get back to our time?! "

" Hell I know! My VR system is now in 2020, and the chip's technology will not be invented until 2017. "

" In a few words, we're stuck here, 10 years earlier. And I suppose there are two of us... "

" Yep. Luckily, I didn't moved here until 2012, so we have plenty of time. "

" Wow! That's so reassuring! " I launched my sarcarsm of the night.

" But look on the good side! We now know what's gonna happen in the next 10 years! We could become some kind of gurus,
"predicting" thinks! We'll get rich! " Cheered Seymour, bending his fingers.

" No way, Seymour! Don't you remember what happened in Back to the Future? And we haven't a DeLorean! So, if we screw
it up, that's how it's gonna stay: Screwed up! "

" Oh... Then... What do you propose...? "

" Let's get back to Equestria. "

" Huh? "

" As you said, we already know what's gonna happen. We can become famous there, without the risk of messing with our own
future! "

" Ow! You know, Gus? Sometimes I wonder if we're not relatives. "

" Yes, sure. Your mom slept with my dad. "

" Yeah... What?! "

" Never mind. Come on. Let's get some rest here, in the civilization. We'll get back to Equestria tomorrow. "

Zecora woke up well early in the morning. The first thing she does was to call her hero's name. She started to look
around nervously, as she had waited until late night and he hasn't returned. Her breath accelerated, the panic filled
her body. Could he had abandoned her too? She opened wide the door and called him to the woods. No answer. She trotted
around her house, went to the spot where she had found us... Nothing.

Finally, she returned to her home and laid to the floor, crying. Why this always happens to her? Everytime she thinks
she has found love, it leaves her behind. That's why she had moved to the Everfree, hoping to not have contact with
anypony else, so she won't have to suffer that bitter fate again. But it looks that there isn't a place to hide. Her
curse always gets to her, once and once again.

Maybe it was time to give up?

Nopony was going to miss her, anyway.

" Zecora, why are you crying? "

Zecora stared at me, and her face looked like she has seen the light in the darkness. She trotted to me with a wide
smile and jumped to hugging me again:

" Gus, Gus, You have came back to my hooves,
just when I had abandoned all hopes!
Why did you took so long,
making me thinking all wrong? "

" Hey, cut that out, will you? We aren't married or anything! Do we? " I replied. Then, I pointed to Seymour.
" By the way, Zecora, this's my friend Seymour. He was scouting the other side of the forest. "

" Oh, nice to meet you, Mr. Not Equine,
any friend of Gus is friend of mine. " Zecora greeted him giving him a forehoof, but without releasing me.

" Hey. " Seymour answered with a careless gesture.

" Oh! It looks like I have to prepare a larger lunch today,
but I haven't enough time to recollet all that hay! " Zecora added, concerned.

" Why don't you go to Ponyville to get some? " I suggested.

" Ponyville? But, the ponies don't talk to me at all,
they even close their windows and doors like wall. "

" Come on, I think you can give it a try, isn't? "

Zecora put a forehoof on her chin:

" Yes, I think so... "

After Zecora had picked her raincoat and left, Seymour and I sat into her house.

" Why the long face, buddy? " I tried to cheer my friend after a long boring silence.

" Damn it, dude. You barely have passed a day here and you've already a mare in love with you. "

" What's so? Jealous? " I laughed.

" No... Yes... "

I laughed even louder.

" I toght... ha ha ha ha... I thought you don't liked Zecora. " I could barely speak as I had almost no air in my
lungs.

" I didn't! You know that my crush is for Pinkie Pie. By the way, why we didn't go with Zecora to Ponyville? We missed
the chance! " He commented, annoyed.

" Nope. We didn't. If we go now to Ponyville we'll be spotted by the Princesses, and next thing that will happen is that
we'll had that freaking Luna sneaking on our dreams. That can't turn well. "

" Oh, right. They'll banish us for sure. "

" Yep. So, by now, we'll better keep ourselves low profile... " I pointed down.