The Equestrian Monomyth - Book 1 - Be a Good Brony or Die Trying

Twilight woke up, among her friends, all of them lying in the ground, uncounscious, at the border of the Everfree.
Well, all of them but Pinkie Pie. Only her instruments remained there.

" What... what just happened?! " She asked, putting a forehoof in her face, still dizzy, and then got frightened when
she saw the scene. " Sweet dear Celestia! Girls, girls! Are you Ok?! Aren't you hurt?! " She screamed, scared, while
gently pushing her friends to wake them up.

The other mares started to wake up too.

" Owww, mah head. Ah feel like ah been bucked a hundred times. " Applejack complained.

" Look, two Twilights. " Rainbow Dash smiled, like drunk, raising a forehoof to her friend.

" Angel... don't be so mean, Angel. " Keep saying Fluttershy between snorings, still asleep.

Twilight looked right, then left: Where...?! Where is Pinkie Pie...?!!!

" Girls, girls! Pinkie Pie is missing! " Twilight screamed, terrified.

" Huh... what?! " Rarity awakened.

" It looks like something knocked us down, and ponynapped Pinkie Pie! "

" But why only ponynap Pinkie Pie, having better and prettier ponies to ponynap, like myself? " Rarity objected,
closing her eyes and pointing a hoof to herself, clearly offended.

" Rarity! " The others mares said in unison.

" There's no time to waste, we have to save her! " Commanded Twilight. " Follow me! " They entered the Everfree...

I, suited like Iron Man, was flying using my lifeform scanner. As I had recently cleared the woods from the larger
fauna, I knew that the only lifeform of some size that I'll find will be, effectively, Pinkie Pie... and there she was.
I had no time to waste. I had to capture and brainwash her before this spreads like an oil overflowing!

" There she is! " I communicated to the other stupid and fat Iron Man that was following me. " Intercept her! "

Iron Man Seymour landed just before Pinkie Pie, who with a high"pitched shriek, turned to the right, trying to escape.
There I took the chance, and threw myself after her, trying to grab her for her tail, but the trees weren't helping.
However, I was gaining her in speed. I almost had her, when, Iron Man Seymour appeared like a bad karma, and crashed
with me.

" Stupid! " I scolded him with my robotic"like voice. " I almost had her! Go, go, go! " I threw him away and resumed the
pursuit.

Twilight and the other mares could hear Pinkie's screams:

" She's in danger! Come on, this way! "

Finally, we surrounded the runaway mare for both sides, and captured her at the same time.

" Gotcha! "

" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! " Pinkie screamed, trying uselessly to escape.

" Release our friend at once! " Ordered Twilight, defiantly.

" Yes, release her, before I buck your lights out! " Threatened RD, performing like a boxer.

Shit...

I'll get Seymour killed for this. Seriously...

In front of us, there were the other mares of the Mane 6. Seymour and me looked each other, while both holding the tail
of the trembling Pinkie Pie, who was laid in the ground with her forelegs over her head.

" Now what do we do, boss? " Asked Seymour in a whisper.

" Follow my acting. " I whispered back. Then, I put a fist in my chest and talked aloud, with the robotic voice, of
course: " We, the almighty Metal Monsters, are reclaiming this prey, earned in slaughterous battle, for the glory of our
ancestors! Now begone, or you will face our wrath of fire and death! " This said, and I raised an arm and launched a
huge fire blast to the sky.

" Yeah, exactly what he says! " Seymour backed me up, also with robotic voice and launching a fire blast too.

" Don't worry about me! Save yourselves, save yourselves! " Screamed Pinkie Pie.

Our power demostration surely had scared Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity, but Twilight and RD stayed firm.

" We're not going without our friend! " They replied.

Twilight started to scratch the ground with her hoof, getting ready to attack.

Alright, that didn't work. Let's try Plan B.

Sincerely, I just wanna to take out the armor and say: " "Hey, girls, sorry, this is a huge misunderstanding..." " and
so on, but I was plain scared that they won't trust us ever again. Specially, because my crush, Twilight Sparkle, was
there. So, I decided to make an even bolder move:

" We, the Metal Monsters, do appreciate the loyalty between warriors. So, if one of you are willing to stand for this
prey in one"on"one combat, we'll let it go. But, if the challenger loses, it will be ours to our ceremonial feast.
Who'll be the challenger?!! WOOOOOOORGGGGGG!!! " I launched an earthshaking roar.

At this point, I was hoping that Seymour were saying something like " "Dude, what're you doing?" " But nothing about
it. He kept leaving me to lead. Man, this guy has no initiative. At all. Also, I didn't know how to make him figure out
without look suspicious. It looks like I had to take this fake to the end.

The mares stared at each other. Then Twilight steps forward.

" Twilight, ya won't be thinkin'... " Applejack looked her with a scrambled mouth.

" Sorry, AJ, but it was I who get all of you in this mess, and is my duty to get you all out, even if it's the last
thing I'll ever do. "

" Twilight... " Rarity sobbed.

" I accept your challenge! " Twilight exclaimed with unbreakable resolution.

Hmmmm. Her duty. That gives me an idea. But that'll requires me to win. Damn it. I'm not a saint.

I released Pinkie Pie's tail, and Seymour did it too. Damn! Will he could be actually a robot, disguised as a person?

" Metal Monster Mark One accepts your challenge! Speak your name, so I can add you to my trophy list! " I told her,
trying to sound the most fearful and scaring as possible.

" I'm Twlight Sparkle! "

I took a fancy combat stance, one that I'll never do in an actual combat.

" Come on, Twilight! Show that abusive Metal Monster of what you're made of! " Exclaimed RD. " Twilight! Twilight! "
She cheered up.

" Twilight! Twilight! Twilight! " The other mares soon joined the cheering.

Twilight looked at her friends, smiling, and her beautiful purple eyes got filled with tears. Then she turned quickly
her head to me, dropping the tears away with the same motion, and looking at me with winning resolve.

It tooks all my willpower to not to ran away and quit this shameful fake at once.

Oh Lord! Why I have to do this? I'm gonna kill Seymour. For real. I'm gonna kill him.

" Indeed, Twlight Sparkle, prepare to die! "

Of course I didn't mean it. I just wanna leave her unconscious, just... let's say... not from the first strike.

She attacked first, launching a purple beam from her horn, which I easily avoided with a combination of shielding and
dodging. Then, I replied with... Pinkie Pie? Damn, that was Pinkie Pie, standing over her hinderlegs and with her
forelegs opened up, just in the way between Twilight and me, using herself as a shield to protect her friend! Damn it!
I'm not going to stop short in time! I had too much thrust!

I could see the image in slow motion: The battered body of Pinkie Pie, giving her last aerial trip. I closed the eyes:
I didn't want to witness the horrible tragedy that I was about to perform.

What happened later didn't make much sense to me. It was so damned fast, that I hadn't time to understand what had
happened. All I could figure out, is that I received some kind of impact from a side, and was took out from the
direction I had, and threw to the ground. I stood up quickly and looked back, discovering Iron Man Seymour's smoking
arm, signal he had fired the shot that saved Pinkie Pie's life. Maybe he isn't a robot, after all.

I looked forward again, and I could see all the mares with her muzzles opened, not believing what has just happened.
All but Twilight, who was holding a fainted Pinkie Pie. I scanned Pinkie's vitals: she was fine. I smiled, but from
relief. Luckily, the armor didn't let them to see it.

I couldn't have a better chance than this one! So I put my arm on my chest and made a light reverence:

" What we Metal Monsters have witnessed today, are equal to the great deeds of our ancestors. Honor, determination and
courage, are the words for describing you all. We Metal Monsters, do apologize for our behavior, at considering you
inferior. Then we'll part, and shall our paths meet again, we'll treat you with the respect that you deserve. "

And saying this, I turned to Seymour and made a gesture of "Let's go" to him, and we both fled away...

After we left, Twilight turned her head to Pinkie, who was still laid, motionless, and with the eyes closed.

" Pinkie...? Pinkie...? " She called and gently shook her, and as she got no response, her eyes filled with tears:
" Pinkie...?! " She sobbed.

The other mares came closer, shocked.

" Pinkieeeee!!! " Twilight finally yelled, about to cry.

" Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha ha! " Happily bumped Pinkie Pie.

" Pinkie! " The other mares say at unison.

" In the name of Celestia's mane, Pinkie Pieeeeeeee!!! " Twilight angrily exclaimed, while the party mare were rolling
with laugh from her playing dead antic...