Singularity: The Paradox

Nathan woke to the sterilized smell of a hospital room. The sharp beeping from a Heart Monitor drilled into his head, he shifted, feeling tubes, needles, and what was probably an ice-pack move with him.

"I hate hospitals." He murmured.  He felt a sick feeling rising in his gut. "Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Did that kick make me sterile?! NURSE! DOCTOR! JANITOR!" He shouted. A mare, colt, and older looking colt rushed into the room.

"What?! Whats wrong?!" The nurse and doctor stammered. The janitor just stood there, blank expression.

"Am I sterile?!" Nathan looked worried. The janitor snickered.

"What...? Oh, no, you are a very long ways away from being sterile. The more of the opposite...I can't think of the word though." The muffin-maned Doctor chuckled while the nurse glared at him. The janitor put on some headphones and left with his mop.

"What he's saying is, you're fine. We want to keep you for a couple weeks while your pelvis heals enough to use a wheel-chair though." The nurse, her name-tag saying 'Nurse Redheart', said in a quiet tone.

"Oh...well fuck that. You know where my bag is?" Nathan laughed for a moment, the nurse glared at him, shutting his ass up.

"I'll get it." The muffin-maned doctor left the white room.

"Listen Mr. Renko, your charts don't look good. There is a surplus of magic in your body, if you do not expel it somehow it can be dangerous. The effect M.O, or Magical-Overload, has on a normal pony can be as minor as a small coma, or as severe as disintegration, a very slow, very painful death." The nurse set a chart on the table next to the bed.

"Okay...on a scale of one to ten, how fucked am I? As in, the level of this 'M.O'" Nathan looked at the chart, confused by the medical mumbo-jumbo.

"To be honest, I'd say around....twelve." The nurse did the math in her head.

"Well shit. Anyways, what would the lethal level be on that same scale?" Nathan flipped a page.

"A little over six." The mare said sheepishly.

"WELL SHIIITTT. Moving on, any way to easily 'expel the excess magic'?" Nathan set the overly-confusing chart down.

"There are lots of ways, using a large amount of spells, doing physical work, self-stimulation, or we could just use Bog-Leeches to drain you to a safe level." Redheart explained. The doctor returned with Nathan's bag in his mouth. Nathan grabbed the bag and pulled out a Stimpack once more.

"I'm getting pretty low on these...I have, like, thirteen left." He said to himself. He jabbed the needle into his broken pelvis. He cupped his mouth with his hand to mute his scream.

"Oh my!" Nurse Redheart looked at the live x-ray, seeing the bone piece together perfectly. Nathan took a breath and stood, his legs shaking. He did some tests to make sure they were functional.

"And did you say 'self-stimulation'?" Nathan asked the nurse, pulling down his pony-sized patent gown.

"Reddy...did you tell him to go wank? I told you to stop suggesting that!" The doctor 'tsked' at the nurse.

"Its not like that!" The nurse stammered, getting red in the face. "He needs to expel his excess magic buildup so he can avoid M.O."

"I don't care what you meant. I feel fine." Nathan grumbled.

"Nathan, what did she say your rating on lethal-ness was?" The doctor turned to the patient.

"My rating was twelve while the lethal level is six." Nathan paraphrased the nurse's words from earlier.

"Did she account for the fact you have a natural resistance to M.O? Or the fact that you're bigger than the average pony and can hold more natural magic than normal? OR that M.O is only lethal to Pegasi and Unicorns? OR EVEN that you have an artificial anti-body eating away at the extra magic?" The doctor turned to the nurse, who was shying back.

"No, she didn't. I don't really care either, so I'll just take my clothes and go." Nathan looked around the room, spotting his clothes in a vacuum sealed bag. He changed from the gown in to his normal clothes. "I forgot to ask, how long have I been asleep?"

"Almost a week." The doctor shrugged. Nathan coughed, eyes wide.

"A WEEK?!" He half-shouted.

"No, nearly a week, there is a difference." The muffin-maned stallion chuckled. "If you come with me, we can finidh up your paperwork and you'll be out of here before you know it.

Four hours later. Sugar-cube Corner.

"Should we go see him? I mean, its been a day! A DAY! What if he got worse, or worse, GOT REALLY WORSE!" Pinkie stammered, her friends staring at her oddly.

"He's fine, Pinkie." Twilight dismissed her worries with a wave of her hoof. "Does anyone know where Fluttershy is?"

"I think she's been staying at Bonbon and Lyra's for the past couple days, something about consoling Bonbon about her dead dog or something." Rainbow answered bluntly.

"Ah still feel terrible, if ah had told Nathan to not sneak up on Mac, he wouldn't'a gotten hurt." Applejack sipped at her drink.

"It's not your fault, besides, from what Nathan has told me of Katorga, he'll be fine." Twilight patted the southern mare on the back.

"It's getting late, girls. Don't you think you should be heading home?" Mr.Cake's head popped from the kitchen.

"Sure thing Mr.Cake." Twilight yawned. "C'mon girls." Twilight and the girls stood, aside from Pinkie of course.

On the other side of town, nearly ten minutes later, Nathan walked alone, hoodie up. He passed a rather large building with a neon sign on the front, it read '20% louder'. "This is Vinyl's club? It looks so...plain." He said to himself. He opened the heavy door and latched it behind himself. He spotted the rainbow-maned bouncer and put his hood down.

"Nathan! Good to see you're not dead. How're your Boys? Big Mac break 'em?" Rainbow walked over to the captain.

"No, they're fine. I was told you guys were hiring." Nathan looked around.

"Yeah, both sides need a bartender, which position you want to try for?" Rainbow pulls a clipboard from a small saddlebag near one of the doors.

"Which one pays better?" Nathan asks the cyan meat shield.

"They pay the same. Vinyl's side is dubstep, techno, that stuff. Anything with a lot of bass. Octavia's side is all classical and junk, so boring. But that's just my opinion." Rainbow explained, looking for a pencil.

"I guess I'd like to apply for Vinyl's side."

"Have you had any past experience with bar tending?" Rainbow found her pencil.

"Not really, but seeing how a pony is sneaking into a Side, " Nathan grabbed the pony with the TMD, "you didn't see that. I feel I'd make a better bouncer than a bar-jockey." Nathan released the pony into the custody of some security stallions.

"I'll think about it, but we really need bar tenders right now, do you know how to make basic drinks?" Rainbow drilled.

"Yeah, I'm American, I speak fluent alcohol." Nathan joked. Rainbow looked at him oddly

"...You can talk to alcohol...?" She asked quietly.

"That was uh...a joke." Nathan sighed.

"Okay. We don't have many choices, so go ahead and get behind the bar and start serving, we're as crowded as the Cakes' bakery on Pinkie's birthday!" Rainbow pushed him through a door. His ears were instantly bombarded by wubs. WUBS AS POWERFUL AS THE SUN!

Or, in a non-insane analogy; Powerful enough to rattle his bones.

"Oh m-m-m-my-y-y-y fuc-k-k-k-king g-g-o-d-d" His head involuntarily bobbed. After a minute or two, he grew used to the wubs.

He spotted the bar and made his way, his progress being slowed by the massive crowd of thirsty ponies. He vaulted the bar, causing the current bar tender to panic. "CALM DOWN!" He had to shout over the music "I'M YOUR NEW PARTNER!" He added, unconsciously making drinks for the ponies.

"THAT'S GREAT! MY NAME IS MINT SCHNAPPS! YOU CAN CALL ME MINT!" The mare called back. "THESE PONIES ARE COMING TOO FAST! WE NEED MORE BAR TENDERS!"

An idea struck Nathan, he pulled his left sleeve back, revealing the TMD. He pressed a button with his wrist and some blue sparks flew from the TMD before a blue sphere, he fired the massive Deadlock at the crowd and they paused. "DEADLOCK, WE'VE GOT TWO MINUTES. WORK FAST." Nathan quickly made several drinks and placed them in front of their respective buyers. Mint did the same. The Deadlock shut-down and the ponies took their drinks and left, it shaved the crowd down quickly.

Nathan repeated this multiple times, quickly clearing the bar. "THAT WAS TOO EASY! LIKE SHOOTING ZEK IN THEIR SLOW FUCKING FACES!" Nathan laughed.

"WHAT WAS THAT SPELL? YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME!" Mint shined her horn, which was hiding in her mane.

"WASN'T A SPELL, IT WAS SCIENCE!" Nathan flashed the TMD. "THIS THING DOES IT, NOT MAGIC. WELL, YEAH, E99 IS THE CHEMICAL FORM OF YOUR MAGIC, BUT THAT ISN'T THE POINT."

"I SEE." Mint shouted casually. "THE FIRST FEW HOURS ARE THE MOST HECTIC. IT GETS MUCH CALMER AROUND THE BAR WHEN THE STARTER CROWD CLEARS UP."

"THAT'S GOOD I GUESS" Nathan shrugged.

After a while, the clock read Three AM. The music started to die down and ponies started heading home. Vinyl, Octavia, and Rainbow Dash sat in a VIP booth counting profits while Mint, Nathan, the electrician Kilo-watt Hour, and the janitor Scruffy did the menial work. Cleaning, washing booths, and checking for electrical hazards. "We've made about..five...six...seven thousand bits this week. A bit more than usual I'd say." Vinyl magic'd a black lock-box and put most of the bits, leaving an even twenty-one hundred to split between the seven for the week.

"Bars clean, glasses cleared, booths shimmering. Everything clean. Not bad for a first day, Nathan." Mint nudged her new friend.

"I guess so. Fuck I'm tired." Nathan yawned. Vinyl waved the crew over.

"Nathan! When did you get out of the hospital? Are your Boys all right-OW!" Vinyl grasped her shoulder after Octavia punched her.

"You don't just go around and ask people if their testicles are all right! Its disturbing!" Octavia explained.

"Geez, soo~ooo~ry" Vinyl groaned. "Anyways, how's you get hired so fast?" Vinyl eyed him.

"Rainbow said you need bar tenders, fast." Nathan shrugged again.

"I see, it doesn't really matter though, seeing how much of an amazing job you did, you shaved about seven minutes off of Mint's best time." Vinyl magic'd a bag of bits to everyone. "I'll lock up, you can all go ahead and go home."

The employees said their goodbyes, including Nathan, and made their way from the club to wherever it was they went to. Most of them went home, all except Nathan, who still didn't have a place to stay. He took a deep breath before having to swallow his pride.

'I'm going to have to ask someone, aren't I?' He thought sourly. He thought for a minute before changing his path to a certain green mare's home. He grumbled the entire way there. He reached the single story building within several minutes. Dragging his feet, he slowly made his way to the door. He rapped his knuckles on the door, taking a breath.

The door opened, it was Bonbon who answered. "Hey Bonbon." Nathan waved a hand.

"Oh hey Nathan, I see you're out of the hospital, how are you doing?" Bonbon asked in a tired tone.

"I'm fine. But...I hate to ask, but I don't really have a place to stay tonight, and I was wondering if I could stay here tonight." Nathan sighed, he hated asking for help, it made him feel weak.

"Sure, you can stay as long as you need to. We have a spare room since...since Pokey left." Bonbon laughed sadly. "Its funny-"

"No. It isn't." Nathan silenced her. "Just forget about Pokey, he didn't exist." Nathan reminded the mare.

"Okay. Well, Lyra and Fluttershy have already gone to bed, make yourself comfortable." Bonbon stepped aside. "I'm only up because I have work to do."

"Oh yeah? What are you working on?" Nathan stepped inside the house, taking a seat in a nearby recliner.

"I need a new recipe for my candy shop." Bonbon crumpled a piece of paper. She pulled a new one from her desk before scrunching her nose. "Ew, what is that smell!"

"Sorry, I was working the bar at Vinyl's club, do you mind if I shower?" Nathan asked the tan mare. She nodded, covering her muzzle with a hoof. Nathan smiled sheepishly before going to look for the shower, he found it soon enough and stripped down. Once nude, he looked at the small shower. "Pony showers are weird!"

45 Minutes later

"So that is how you turn it on!" Nathan smiled. He soon figured out how to use the temperature dials as well.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the house, Bonbon would be staring at the ceiling, hoping for some inspiration when she heard Lyra's door open and close. "Lyra?" She looked towards the source and spotted her green friend. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I gotta pee~!" Lyra half sang, briskly walking towards the bathroom.

'Can she not hear the shower?' Bonbon grinned evilly. 'This is going to be soooo funny'

Nathan heard the door open and froze. 'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck' he mentally screamed.

"Ahhhh~" A female voice moaned. He slowly peeked around the curtain, spotting Lyra.

"Lyra, what the fuck are you doing?" Nathan tried to sound calm.

"AHHH NATHAN...UM...HI?" Lyra's face turned a bright crimson. "UH...YOU COME HERE OFTEN?"

"GET. OUT. LYRA." Nathan threw a bar of soap in lieu of his TMD. Lyra jumped up and galloped out of the restroom, leaving a trail.

"AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA" Bonbon feel over laughing. "Ahhh I'm terrible..." She heard the shower turn off. Lyra galloped past the tan mare, screaming, causing the mare to snicker again. Nathan exited the bathroom, in his pants.

"Do you have a washing machine or something?" Nathan grumbled, annoyed.

"Y-yeah, why do you ask?" Bonbon wiped a tear from her face.

"Lyra left part of her...'trail' on my shirt and hoodie." Nathan held the two items by the sleeves. Bonbon pointed down the hall. "Thanks." Nathan walked to the laundry room and threw his items in, starting it after. He walked back to the main room and plopped down on the couch. "You knew she was going into the restroom, you knew, and still did nothing. Didn't you?" Nathan asked, eyes closed.

"You guesses it!" Bonbon giggled.

"You're terrible, but I can't deny it was funny...ish." Nathan yawned. "I swear to god, if I wake up, and my pants are off, I'll end you...with time."

"I'll try to keep them on." Bonbon sighed, staring at the paper.

Nathan fell asleep quickly.

The Next morning. 8am, Ponyville Market.

Fluttershy walked backwards in the market, leading a line if ducks. "Alright little ones, this way, this way. Mama Duck, you're free and clear." Fluttershy cooed. Suddenly, she encountered what felt like a feathery wall, stopping her in her tracks.

"Hey!" A voice called roughly, Fluttershy turned and saw the source, a rather butch looking griffon.

"Oh...Please excuse me." Fluttershy apologized to the scowling female. The griffon's wings shot up in anger.

"I'm walkin' here!" The griffin shouted angrily.

"Oh..um...I'm sorry...I-I was just trying to-" Fluttershy backed away from the rude bird, she was interrupted.

"'I'm sorry, I'm sorry'" The griffin mocked, she leaned in. "Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus!" She stomped closer.

"B-b-but I-I...I" Fluttershy stammered. The griffin inhaled deeply before releasing a guttural roar, loud enough to physically push Fluttershy back. Fluttershy somehow made a sheep's noise before chocking up and running off, crying.

A couple hours later, Nathan saw the griffin storm out of a party. He watched her enter an alley and sit down, steaming. As soon as she sat, she fell through something. Nathan ran over and spotted a familiar sight.

She fell through a rift.

"Awwww, FUCK!" Nathan turned around and sprinted towards the bakery. Once there, he spotted Twilight and ran over "Twilight! Get your friends and follow me, I need help!" Nathan half-shouted. Twilight, momentarily confused, took a sip from her punch before spitting it in Nathan's face. "Damn you." Nathan wiped his face while Twilight collected her friends.

The quickly made their way to the rift. "Nathan, why did you drag us here?" Twilight asked.

"This, " He pointed to the yellow-edged hole in time. "this is a rift, a griffin fell through it. I need you to mark down ANY changes that happen while I'm gone, and I need the rest of you girls to do the same, any changes she makes could destroy the world. Unless she's in the future. But still, mark down changes." Nathan explained quickly.

"GILDA WENT THROUGH TIME?!" Rainbow flew up into Nathan's face. "SHE COULD BE IN DANGER! I'M GOING WITH YOU!" She shouted into his ear.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT. SEE, NOT SO PLEASANT WHEN SOMEONE SHOUTS IN YOUR FUCKING EAR, IS IT?" Nathan shouted back. Rainbow sat hard on her rump.

"Sorry. Gilda is my friend, or, was my friend. I want to make sure she's okay!" Rainbow pleaded.

"Rainbow, I know you're loyal and all, but I've done this, I know what happens when you go through these things. I'll make sure she's fine. Just stay here, okay?" Nathan looked into her magenta eyes.

"Fine, but if she gets hurt, I'm kicking your flank!" Rainbow punched him in the shoulder. Nathan smiled and looked down at the rift. He swallowed hard before stepping through.

Canterlot, some thousand years earlier. Starswirl The Bearded's Study.

"I do not understand, sir Star Swirl" A noble sat in Star Swirl's study while he scribbled something.

"What is so hard to understand? It is just a simple Bill. Do the Earth Ponies not deserve the same rights as us?" Star Swirl dipped his quill.

"I don't understand why a nobleman such as yourself would go through all the trouble to create a plead for the equal treatment of those lowly Earth Ponies, they're just so...lesser!" The noble questioned. Star Swirl snapped his quill in frustration. Grabbing another, he turned to the noble.

"They are not lesser, good sir! In fact, they may be better than most of you... condescending, egotistical, superiority complex having blaggard!" Star Swirl shouted at the snooty pony. "And by Tartarus I'll smack you if you say that again!"

There was a sudden crash, Star Swirl turned to the source while the noble fled from the furious genius. His eyes widened in wonderment, spotting the creature. "By Celestia's golden flank! What a fascinating creature!" His eyes sparkled with questions.

"Ugh...My fucking head, fuck you rift, why did you drop me on a bookcase?" Nathan took a deep breath.

"Amazing! It speaks our tongue!" Nathan heard scribbling, he turned and spotted an old colt with an amazing beard.

"Quickly, have you seen a griffin around here? 'Bout ye high?" Nathan raised his hand to approximately Gilda's height.

"Yes, she said various vulgar words before flying out of my window, that way." Star Swirl pointed east. "But, before you go, would you mind answering some questions? I simply must know everything about you!" Star Swirl grinned larger than seemingly possible. "I've discovered a new species! Hooray!" He danced in place.

"Sure, I guess I have time."

Two hours later

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Star Swirl vigorously shock Nathan's hand. "Dreadfully sorry for keeping you so long, it was not my intention."

"No problem. Could you do me a favor before I leave to find Gilda?" Nathan smiled, an idea in his head.

"It would be my pleasure, Mister Renko." Star Swirl responded.

"I need you to put a little note in a book for me."

Star Swirl magic'd a quill off his desk.

After Nathan left the castle, he used the Sonic Ping to follow the griffin. He noticed a mare crying and stopped. "Let me guess, rude griffin?" he sighed.

"SHE CALLED MY MANE SCRUFFY!" The mare wailed. Nathan left at that and continued the hunt. After walking what seemed like hours, he heard crashing. Running, he heard screams and what sounded like fighting.

He spotted the griffin being wailed on by a burly mare. "Gilda!" He pulled her away from the mare with the TMD. "You can't just go around picking fights."

"Oi! I'm not finished with her! Put her down before I decide to take you down as well!" The mare threatened.

"Sorry, but I don't have time to beat a mare, on a deadline." Nathan grumbled.

"Is that how it is? Think something as scrawny as yourself can handle me? I'm the Tank!" The mare roared. She charged forwards. Nathan sat Gilda down and delivered a swift punch to the mare's snout, she reared up in surprise. She stumbled long enough for Nathan to get a good'ol Suplex in.

"America, bitch." he spat on her before picking Gilda up and walking away again. "Really Gilda, you couldn't just give her a Texan Welcome Wagon?" He laughed at her frustration.

"I don't know what Texan is, so no. Doofus." She spat. "And who are you anyways? I could handle myself just fine, I didn't need you to step in." Gilda quickly stammered.

"You see Gilda, that's your problem, you think you're all tough and scary, but in reality, you're just a scared puppy." Nathan explained calmly.

"I am tough! I made that yellow pegasus run away crying like a baby!" Gilda stated proudly.

"Really now? You made Fluttershy cry, that's as simple as lighting a candle. Hell, you say her mane is dirty and she runs off." Nathan shot down Gilda's boast.

"Well! I-I...I!" Gilda turned red in frustration. "What makes you think you're so cool, huh?! I lost my best-friend today! Do you know what that feels like?!" Gilda shouted.

"I saw my best-friend get his head blown off, and I'm still...kind of...nice." Nathan sighed. "We're going back and you're going to leave Ponyville, forever."

"I was planning to!" Gilda started squirming. "Let me go!"

"Not a chance. Think of me as a cop...a time cop." Nathan spotted the rift in another alley, he threw the griffin in before going in himself.

Present day.

"I wonder if anything has changed?!" Pinkie bounced around, eyeing every last detail.

"Nothing has changed, Pinkie! Nathan will be back soon, just calm down!" Twilight face-hoofed.

"ARE YOU SUUURRRREEEE?" Pinkie got in Twilight's face, poking her eye with her own.

"YES I'M SURE!" Twilight magic'd Pinkie away. Gilda flew through the rift, Nathan soon following.

"Twilight, you will never believe who I met!" Nathan started with.

"Who?" Twilight cocked her head.

"Can't tell you until your birthday!" Nathan laughed. "You'll love it! Anyways, Gilda, leave, now." Nathan pointed a finger, Gilda scowled at all them, lip quivering, before flying off.

"Nothing changed, well, nothing that we could observe." Twilight handed him all the papers.

"Good. I should let you know that I wound up Suplexing some mare that called herself 'The Tank'. I don't think it caused any damage though." Nathan shrugged. Gilda had long flown away when Nathan looked in her direction. "I just realized, I haven't eaten in like...a week and a half. I'll see you guys later." Nathan felt his stomach growl before leaving the group of mares.

He walked the market for several minutes, scanning for goods. He saw a fish cart and briskly walked up to it. "I didn't know ponies sold fish, how much?" He asked the bored looking stallion.

"Sall ishies are tu 'its. Arge ishies are 'ix 'its." The stallion had some kind of speech-impediment, Nathan got the gist of what he was saying. He counted out twelve bits from his bag and took his fish. He thanked the stallion before walking off towards Lyra and Bonbon's place.

Lyra's Room.

"Just one more link, then I should go try and make dinner." Lyra said to herself, after her last link, she closed her browser and left her room. She turned a corner and spotted Nathan coming through the front door. The memory of the night before flashed in her mind. "H-hey, Nathan. Sorry about last night, I honestly didn't hear the shower." Lyra apologized.

"Its fine. Now, I'm off to cook." Nathan walked into the rather large, modern-looking kitchen. He pulled the already gutted and filleted fish from their bag. He found an appropriate pan and placed it on the burner.

He pulled out the fire-extinguisher as well.

"The show never said Humans ate meat..." Lyra looked slightly pale.

"Omnivore, get used to it." Nathan said without turning to the mare. Lyra shrugged, accepting the explanation.

Several minutes had passed, the fish cooked quickly, filling the house with a delicious aroma. Even Lyra was enjoying it. "Hey Lyra, can ponies eat meat?" Nathan asked taking one of the cooked fish from the pan and adding the other.

"If we do, not very much. Of course, Pegasi can tolerate fish better than most ponies, seeing how they have bird-like attributes." Lyra explained.

"Would you like a little bit of what I'm making when its done?" Nathan then asked.

"Sure I guess. Do you actually know how to cook fish?" Lyra stood next to the Captain, watching the fish cook.

"My mom taught me when I was younger. I can't really do anything 'fancy' with it, but I've learned some neat recipes." Nathan answered. He flipped the fish over, letting a burst of hot fish grease land on Lyra's foreleg, she let out a hiss of pain.

Nathan quickly threw the pan, fish included, into the sink. Nathan caught her other hoof, preventing her from rubbing it. "Don't rub it, it worsens it." He grabbed a soft towel and dabbed the grease gently.

She let out a small hiss, flinching slightly. Nathan, remembering the next steps, put the towel in the sink and waited for the water to cool. While waiting, he blew slowly on the wound. He grabbed the cold towel and slowly placed the towel on her leg. "Where are your bandages?" He asked the mesmerized mare. She snapped out of her trance;

"I need to go get some, we ran out after Pokey's kinky thornbush night with Bonbon." Lyra said slowly.

"Oh yeah, I still have some in my bag." Nathan stood and grabbed his bag from the table, pulling out medical wrapping. He cut a small length with some scissors from the kitchen and wrapped it around the burn. "Better?" He asked.

"Much. Thank you Nathan." Lyra smiled at the medically proficient soldier. Nathan threw the now burned fish away, keeping the already cooked one. He smiled at the mare before returning to his cooking, he cut the fish into strips. Instead of creating some seasoned, glorious masterpiece of a fish dish, he opted to get some bread and cheese and created...!

The

Ultimate

Not so ultimate

Fish sandwich!

He made a second, smaller one, for Lyra as well. She took a seat at the table, Nathan soon following. While ponies can eat meat, they can't eat very much, Nathan took that into account when making hers, he made it a quarter sized of a normal sandwich. He finished his sandwich quickly, in a couple bites actually. Lyra finished hers soon after him. He took the plates and turned on the faucet.

"That was good, here, let me help you clean up" Lyra lit her horn in her normal green aura. She magic'd some dish-soap out of the cupboard, squirting it on the plates while Nathan scrubbed the pan. Within minutes, the dishes were cleaned and dried.

"Thanks Lyra." Nathan patted her head. They walked into the living room and sat down on the small couch. Lyra turned on the TV and put it MLH.

After the episode ended, Nathan was aggravated. "None of that ever happened!" He half shouted. "I've never met a 'Marky James' in my life!" His shouts were unheard, seeing how Lyra had already fell into a deep slumber.

Bonbon walked through the front door, spotting Lyra sleeping soundly and Nathan raging at the TV. "Uh...What exactly have I missed?" She asked.

"I cooked, and now I'm planning on calling up this...'Orbsah' and calling out their lies." Nathan steamed.

"Have fun with that, ugh, I'm so tired." She yawned. "I'm going to go ahead and go to bed, see you in the morning." Bonbon walked to her room and shut the door. Lyra turned over. Nathan sighed as he turned the TV off. He set the remote down and gently picked Lyra up, he carried her to her room and put her in her bed. "Only eight?" He said to himself.

"Oh fuck!" He suddenly remembered he had work in half an hour. He grabbed his hoodie and ran out the door.

20% Louder, ten minutes later.

Rainbow stood outside the lobby, tapping a hoof. She waited for Nathan to arrive so she could give him his assignment, she spotted him. Nathan walked up to the rainbow-maned bouncer, she punched him in the shoulder. "You're lucky. You're working Octavia's side tonight." Rainbow looked at her clipboard.

"Alright, see you when my shift ends." Nathan briskly walked to Octavia's side of the club.

Several hours later

Nathan met several 'neat' ponies that worked with him. Oh boy, he just wanted to shoot, er, hug his fellow bar mate! Goes by the name of Cuntface McBitchass, er, Mango Sunset.

Again, they all met in Vinyl's side to take their shares. "We made an even eight-thousand tonight." Vinyl said to herself. She separated it into even amounts and gave them all their pay. Nathan was chosen to lock up tonight. After doing so, he made his way back to Bonbon's and crashed on the couch.

"I know what I'm doing tomorrow. I'm getting my own house." He whispered to himself before falling asleep.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Here is a chapter, one of the longest chapters I've written. It is currently 12:48am on the dot and I haven't slept in two days.

Lets end this with a question: How many of you have gotten really bad scars from grease? I have a small-ish one on my forehead.

Fuck you, Bacon, you deliciously evil motherfucker.

Also

I forgot how to blink.

Halp.