The Derpy-Verse

Derpy Hooves sat on her haunches in the room atop Ponyville’s clock tower, tilting her head this way and that. The air was full of all sorts of strange sounds, beeps and bloops and buzzes and whirrs, and an otherworldly glow of an odd shade of blue bathed her from the light atop the strange box like structure across from her.

She could not read the writing that was printed on several signs hanging from it, and that annoyed her a bit. As a mail courier, she felt that she was pretty high up there, in the literacy game, certainly better than some in town, although perhaps not as good as others, like Twilight Sparkle.

Speaking of Twilight, there was a huge party going on down in the town square, and she was missing it, all because the Doc said he needed help with something of vital importance. She had been running around all over town collecting things for him all day long, and it was a really weird shopping list, to boot. All sort of diodes and pipes and light bulbs and Luna knew what else! And he had been hard at work under a tarp each time she returned with a delivery.

It had all started when she had to deliver a very large shipment of goods, labeled “Scientific Materials”, from Canterlot to the clock tower, and needed Doc to sign. Once he saw her, he immediately enlisted her help in gathering a few other last minute things he said he needed from the hardware store and other places around town. Some of it even came from Twilight’s castle! The princess had seemed a little confused by the requested items, and curious as to why Doc needed them, but in the end she was too preoccupied with preparing for her coronation tomorrow to bother asking about any of it.

When she had brought around the final bit of what he needed, he asked her to remain while he finished what he was working on, and, as he had asked politely and she didn’t need to be anywhere any time soon (the Cakes were babysitting Dinky), she had agreed. When he was finally finished, he had pulled the tarp away and revealed the . . . thing. She still wasn’t sure what it was. Some kind of . . . mini house? Painted blue, with a little light on top. Finally, rather than trying to figure it out on her own any longer, she decided maybe she should ask.

“So . . . What is it, Doc?”

Doctor Whooves stepped up beside her and looked at the large, house shaped box with a mixture of pride and confusion. "I call it a 'Transportation Across Realities and Dimensions In Space' machine.'

"Oh." Derpy said, eyes unfocused as she rubbed the side of her head with a hoof, before looking at him with a sorrowful expression. "Huh?"

"It is a bit of a mouthful, isn't it? Should probably shorten it, but to what? Eh, no matter. It is a machine for travelling between dimensions Derpy!" He said, becoming animated as he leaped up and gestured to the machine, grinning at her. "Able to travel literally anywhere you can think of in all the multiverse! And just in time to. . . " He grew suddenly more somber as he looked at her, then outside as the sound of the crowd all singing, the old Apple Family favorite, Days Gone By, and Derpy looked up as well.

"Aw, sounds like the party's really getting good out there, Doc! We should go down. . . " She stood up, but he blocked her with a hoof over her withers, turning her back towards the machine.

"Indeed, Derpy, the party is moving along, faster than I had anticipated. . . The amount of depression this will cause, the emotional fallout could be devastating!"

"Huh? What are you talking about, Doc? It's just a party."

"Not the party, Derpy! The End."

"End? Of what?"

"Potentially? Everything. Or, well, no . . . not everything, but this little corner of the multiverse, certainly, and possibly others besides."

"Oh. Well . . . That doesn't sound good."

Doctor Whooves walked her over to the box like house and opened the door, pushing her inside and following along with her. Inside, somehow, the box seemed . . . bigger, than it had from outside. A lot bigger, and a lot less box-like. In fact, it seemed more circular, with a large, pulsing cylinder in the middle, which glowed like flame, casting an orangish hued light over the interior, throwing shadows around from all the pipes and levers and gratings that hung everywhere.

Doctor Whooves started messing about with dials and levers at a sort of command station, like from that stage play, Star Trot, in the middle of the ship. He turned and looked at her, finally, as something in the air shifted. "Derpy, you are correct, it isn't very good at all. In fact, it could spell doom for everypony in Equestria, and beyond."

Derpy's eyes circled, then suddenly snapped into focus on him, as her pupils narrowed down. "Wh-What? But . . .Dinky! I've gotta-" The petite pegasus' withdrawal was halted by a strong Earth Pony hoof on her chest, as the Doctor stepped around in front of her, facing her squarely.

"Derpy, listen to me! I understand your concern, but there is nothing you can do to keep your little filly safe from here."

"Then . . . Then what can I do, Doc?! She's all I got, I can't lose her!"

"It's alright, Derpy. That's why I've built this machine, so you can save, not only your little Dinky, but every single one of us."

Derpy stared at him for a long moment, a moment pregnant with possibilities, and thoughts and hopes and fears and dreams, all whirling around the seriousness of this situation like an endless malestrom of doubt and emotional turmoil. . . .

Then Derpy's eyes went crossed and she made a low humming sound in her throat, frowning.

Doctor Whooves took a deep breath and put his hoof on her wither, drawing her attention to him once more. "Listen, Derpy. Soon, very soon, there's going to be an event horizon, and the Author's emotional state is going to start to crumble. You-" He was cut off by a low rumbling sound that seemed to vibrate the air around them both, sending little metallic creaking sounds throughout the interior of the box.

Derpy looked around, breath coming in short sharp pants. "What is that, Doc?!"

"Dear Celestia! It's happening already!" He rushed to the control center and pressed a few more buttons and gizmos. "Listen, Derpy! I've no more time to explain! The Trans Retaining- Gah! Blast it! The ship is programmed to take you where you need to go! It will deposit you there, and then you must find the pieces. The ship will let you know when it is time to leave, through this." He tossed her a small device, which she caught in her wings, clumsily fumbling it for a moment. "I call it a Sonic Fob." He continued, moving quickly to the doorway of the ship.

"But, I . . .What am I doing?! What's going on, Doc?! I'm scared!"

"It's alright, Derpy, Don't be afraid! You can do this!"

"What?!"

He paused looking over his shoulder into his lab, where a bright light could be seen shining from the direction of the windows, before turning back to her, a sad look on his face. "It's the Author, Derpy. His heart is broken, and it's up to you to find the pieces."

With that, he shut the door, leaving Derpy alone inside the machine. The Sonic Whatsit in her wing lit up, and a voice spoke, calmly and soothingly, through the device. "Preparing for Transdimensional Hop; Destination; Ivarstead, Skyrim, in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1."

And there was a sound, a throbbing, pulsing beat to make DJ-Pon3 blush, wubbing its way throughout the ship, pounding into her ears, and the whole world seemed to spin for a moment, her eyes going crossed so badly she squeezed them shut. She laid down on the floor of the box, putting her hooves over her ears and clutched the Wotsit in her wings tightly, whimpering.

As quickly as it started, it began to die down, the sounds quieted and the machine stopped heaving every which way it could. The device spoke once more. "We have arrived. There is . . . one . . . piece of the Author's heart located somewhere within . . . twelve square miles . . . of the Transportation Across Realities and Dimensions In Space machine."

"That's such a mouthful." Derpy said, woozily, before she stood up and, staggering over to the doors, opened them up, and stumbled out. . . .