The Derpy-Verse

"So . . . let me get this straight," the Khajiit said, lifting an eyebrow. "You were sent here by a mage from your world, in a machine he created to, very specifically, take you to other worlds where pieces of this . . . 'Author's Heart' reside, so you can find them. Which the machine will, somehow know when you do, and will be ready to leave once you get back to it?"

The grey pony, who said her name was 'Derpy' nodded. "Uh-huh!"

The Khajiit narrowed her eyes. "I see . . . That seems terribly convenient."

"Well, I'm not gonna complain!" Derpy said, eyes wide. "I just wanna get home to my l'il muffin." She said, lower lip quivering, and there was a coo from across the table. The Dragonborn, still wearing his helmet, was staring at her with eyes shining so bright they could be seen, helmet or no.

The trio were sitting at a table at the Vilemyr, each of them with a flagon of Honningbrew in front of them. The look that ol' Wilhelm had given them upon entry with the pony had been astounding. Mostly due to how little he reacted at all. Upon being questioned, he had told the Khajiit that, when you lived in a town frequented by the Dragonborn, you got used to seeing odd things.

Looking at the huge Nord now, sitting there making goo-goo eyes at the cute little pegasus across the table, that wasn't hard to imagine.

"And, so," the Khajiit continued, "the machine brought you here. Why would a piece of the Heart be in Skyrim, of all places?" Perhaps it was her words, or more the tone of her voice, which finally brought the Dragonborn out of his cute coma, but he turned his head towards her.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, offended at the perceived implication that Skyrim was not worthy of such a thing.

The Khajiit shook her head, rolling her eyes, as the pony spoke up. "Um . . . I dunno. I thought . . . maybe you could tell me why it brought me here. I mean, you live here, ya know."

At this, the Dragonborn straightened up and spoke properly for the first time since meeting the pony, his booming voice carrying throughout the tavern as he did. "Well, little Derpy, that is because Skyrim is a land of high adventure and grand quests! As well as the home of great and fierce heroes! Heroes like me! The Dovahkiin!"

"Uhh . . . Who?" Derpy asked, eyes going crossed. Or, rather, more so than usual.

The Khajiit felt a smile curl up her lip as the Dragonborn deflated. "What? You mean you've not heard of me?" He asked, staring at the pony, who shook her head. He blustered, looking and sounding more than a bit like a spoiled child being told no. "I don't believe this! The Dragonborn is the greatest hero in Tamriel, known through all the worlds!"

"Sorry, mister Dragonborn, sir, but I don't know you. I know about dragons though!" Derpy said, smiling brightly, and both the Nord and the Khajiit looked at her, frowning.

"Really?" They asked.

"Yeah!" She replied brightly. "They make really great friends!" She frowned, eyes staring at two different points on the tablecloth before her. "Well . . . When they're not trying to bathe your town in nasty black smoke, or growing big out of greed and trying to play movie monster with your friends, or eating your Princess' castle, that is." She said, sitting there for a moment, before looking up and grinning at them again. "Yeah! Great friends!"

Both of the Tamrielans sat, staring at the pony for a moment, before the Khajiit covered her mouth, snorting, while the Nord simply gave a booming laugh, reaching out to pat her on the head. "Ha! You have a great sense of humour, little Derpy! You and I shall be bosom companions, I'm sure!"

Derpy simply looked confused, though that didn't seem to be anything too out of the ordinary for her, from what the Khajiit could tell. The Dragonborn continued speaking. "Never fear, though, pony friend! For I, the Dragonborn, shall aid you on your noble quest!"

"Really?" Derpy asked, smiling brightly.

"Really?" The Khajiit snapped, wide eyed as she looked at the man.

"But of course! It would be ignoble of me to not aid you! And, it sounds like a lot of fun, to boot!"

Derpy cheered, but the Khajiit leaned over, looking him in the eye. "Really."

"Yes!" He said, looking at her, and she got the impression he was frowning.

"Could you give us a second, Derpy?" She asked, politely smiling at the pony, who nodded.

"Oh, uh, sure!" The pony turned to her flagon of ale, while the Khajiit got up and grabbed the Nord, dragging him over to a corner by the door.

He pulled away from her, glaring down at her. "What do you want, cat?" He demanded, and she glared at him.

"You're promising to help that pony that just popped into existence out of a blue box, less than an hour ago, and which you know nothing about, find an item that you also know nothing about, that could well be magical, and could have drawn the attention of Messer knows what! Are you insane?!" She snarled under her breath, and he stood up straighter, if that was possible, horned helmet nearly scraping the ceiling.

"Khajiit, your kind may not have any honor, but mine most certainly do! I will not shy away from danger or risk, and will do all in my power as the Dragonborn to help fair Derpy!"

"You take that back, Nord!" She snarled at the insult, and her hand went to her sword.

"Make me, cat!" He replied, hand clenching into a fist.

They were glaring daggers at one another when suddenly there was a grey shape between them. "Hey, guys, calm down! What's wrong? I thought you were friends? Oh! Maybe if you keep arguing, the Princess will show up to solve your friendship problem, and I can just tell her what's going on!" Derpy said, smiling, before looking at the two of them. "What is it? Are . . . Are you not gonna help me?" She asked, lowering herself to the floor as her wings went still, eyes turning downcast.

The Khajiit felt a clench in her chest, and looked up, flinching a bit at the Nord's glare. He knelt down, putting a large hand on Derpy's shoulder (Wither. Whatever..) "I most certainly will, Derpy. You have my oath as a Nord, and as the Dragonborn!"

With a sigh, the Khajiit stepped around to face the pony, and smiled. "I guess . . . If the big lunker is going, then so am I. If only to make sure nothing earth shattering happens, along the way." She said, biting her lip.

"Great!" Derpy said, suddenly smiling broadly again. "So, where do we start?" She asked, looking at them expectantly.

"Uhhh. . . . " The Khajiit hesitated, unsure of how to answer that, but the big Nord beside them simply grinned, laughing again as he stood up.

"The answer to that question is easy, little friend! For if there's one thing my lifetime of questing has taught me, it's that most grand journeys start in the same place!"

"Oh, really?" Derpy asked, looking up at him. "Where?"

A few moments later, they were standing outside, looking up at the sheer rock sides of the Throat of the World, the highest peak in all of Skyrim, home to the Greybeards, elders of the Voice, known for their unending wisdom, who lived atop the highest point of the mountain, in their monastery of High Hrothgar, at the end of the Seven Thousand Steps.

"Oh . . . Muffins." Derpy said, softly, and the Khajiit could not help but agree.