Sitting around a small table in the castle, Long and Near examined the remaining documents from Starlight's envelope. Based on the maps, the trip from Ponyville to the Badlands would take a few weeks each way. After choosing what seemed to be the best route, Near spoke up, "We're going to need a lot of supplies for this trip. Ready for some shopping Long?"

One musical shopping montage later, Near and Long had all their purchases stacked next to the caravan. Near pulled out their list, "Three months rations for two ponies?" Long pointed at a large pile of foodstuffs, "Check. Cooking and cleaning kit?" Long held up two mess kits before dropping them onto a pile of pots and pans, "Check. Four pony tent for when we don't want to sleep in the caravan?" the thestral lazily kicked at a canvas bag, "Check. Hammocks, sleeping bags and toiletries?" a dark grey bat pony stuck her head out of a pile of stuff, and yawned, "Check. Board games for when we get bored?" Long Shot lazily flew over to the caravan and perched on top of it, already tired of this gag, "Check. Emergency raft?" the lunar pegasus yawned again, "Check. Climbing harnesses, rope and other caving gear?" Long Shot did not respond at all, having fallen asleep, "Check. 40mm automatic Borfors anti-pegasus gun with anti-awesome-pony ammunition? Check," Long Shot's ears shot up, and she looked at Near.

"What was that last one?" Long asked.

"You know, the climbing gear for getting through the cave." Replied Near.

"I'm pretty sure that's not what you said," Asserted Long.

"Nope, no idea what you're on about," Said Near, "But it's getting late. Do we want to start out tonight, or set off in the morning?"

"Seeing as how it's your turn to pull, I'd say we should start tomorrow," said Long, starting to load their purchases into the storage spaces under the caravan.

"If you're not leaving until tomorrow, you should stay in the castle for tonight," Starlight said as she telepoofed in front of Near.

"Sure, we'll be in as soon as we get everything packed up," Near said before all the supplies glowed briefly and then flew into the various storage spots under the caravan. Starlight then telepoofed the three of them into the castle.

Inside the castle, they found the Exhausted but well Cuddled Trixie curled up on a large bean bag chair the same color as her coat, cuddling a Trixie plushie. "I apologize for accidentally leaving that chart for you to find," Starlight told Near, loud enough for Trixie to hear, "I definitely didn't do it on purpose to embarrass and humiliate Trixie or anything."

"Go fuck yourself Starlight," Trixie responded without moving from her bean bag.

"But just between you and me," Starlight continued much more quietly, "I wish I had done it on purpose."

"I'll forgive you on one condition," Near whispered, "You have to teach me that lactation spell." Before Starlight could respond, Trixie farted loudly, somewhat spoiling the moment.

Meanwhile, Long Shot started sneaking her way over to Trixie, who was softly talking in her sleep. By the time she got there, Long could tell that Trixie was dreaming about doing her magic show, at which point Long grew a mischievous grin. Leaning down to Trixie, Long whispered into the magician's ear, "Something's wrong Trixie, your magic stopped working. The crowd's getting impatient, what are you gonna do?" As she spoke, the Surprised and somehow Magicless Trixie became visibly agitated, shifting around and pawing at something in her dream.

"Oh no Trixie, somepony in the crowd summoned an Ursa Major-" Long was interrupted by Trixie waking up with a yelp, followed by several minutes of the Rudely awakened and Pissed Trixie's first attempt at preparing roasted lunar pegasus. It was not until an hour after the blue unicorn had given up on trying to cook Long Shot and had gone back to her bean bag chair that Long dared come out of hiding long enough to slink her way into one of the empty guest rooms.

Author's Note

Please let me know if you see any typos.

Thoughts, comments and questions are also appreciated.