A Near Miss

By noon that day, Near Miss and Long Shot were on the outskirts of Ponyville, and shortly thereafter they arrived at the CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP. After talking with the dragon hologram, they were told that the Great and Powerful Trixie was currently in the throne room and were ushered in. The door to the throne room bore a large "Knock Before Entering Sign", so Near knocked and heard a "just a minute," and a long muffled squeal before somepony telepoofed right in front of the two visitors.

"I remember you," The purple unicorn told Near, "You're the pony who bought Trixie's caravan. I don't believe we've met," Starlight said, gesturing to Long Shot.

"That's because we haven't," the bat pony replied,"My name's Long Shot, nice to meet you."

"We were hoping to talk to Trixie, is she available?" Asked Near.

"Sure, one second," Starlight replied, lighting up her horn and telepoofing in a familiar blue unicorn.

Upon rematerializing, Trixie let out a brief yelp as she fell to the ground. She had appeared with her forelegs way in front of her, like she had been leaning on something, and with her rear legs widely spread. As soon as she hit the ground, Trixie shoved a hoof into her own mouth, let out a shuttering, if muffled, grunt, and tucked her tail tightly between her legs.

The Embarrassed and Mostly-Done-Shaking Trixie slowly got to her hooves and brushed herself off, glaring daggers at Starlight all the while. "The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't believe that we have been introduced," She said to the thestral.

"Hi Trixie, this is Long Shot," Near said, gesturing to her friend, "We were hoping to ask you for some advice."

Trixie almost fell over again, "Y-You came to ask Trixie?" She asked before recovering, "Of course you came to ask the Great and Powerful Trixie for advice."

"Yeah," Near replied, "We wanted to know if you have any suggestions for good places to caravan to."

Trixie sighed, "Unfortunately, Trixie only used her caravan for traveling between cities for her magic shows, and as such cannot recommend any truly great caravaning destinations."

Upon seeing the disappointed looks on her guests faces, Starlight told them, "If you're just looking for something to do, there's that magical artifact bounty I put up."

"What kind of artifact?" asked Near.

"It's a pre-equestrian grundle tickler. I have the location narrowed down to a single cave system in the Badlands."

"I don't know, the Badlands don't exactly sound all that inviting," stated Near.

"There's a five thousand bit reward if you can retrieve it for me," Countered Starlight.

"We'll do it!" Shouted Long Shot, her wings flared out.

"Wonderful," Starlight said, clapping her hooves together and telepoofing in a manilla envelope, "This packet has everything I know about the artifact and its location."

Near opened the proffered packet and looked at the contents. There was a picture of the artifact itself, which looked like a weird long bent fork, a map of the cave system, and a large folded map of Equestria. In addition, the envelope also had a chart labeled 'Trixie's breast milk output' which detailed volume produced during various levels of stimulation, from none to multiple reciprocating with vibration, and all the way to magically compelled continuous orgasm.

"I didn't know you had foals Trixie," Said Near Miss.

"Trixie doesn't have foals, why would-"

Trixie and Starlight both saw the misplaced chart at the same time. Starlight quickly blurted out something about being late for an appointment before telepoofing herself, Trixie, and the chart away.

Behind the throne room doors, Near and Long heard a muffled scream of rage that quickly turned into a muffled squeal.