Murder for 'Briar

Maud Pie was worried. Well, she was happy that her room had a picture of an etched stone slab over the door, but otherwise, she was worried.

The only sound or sight she'd had from Mud Briar this past half-hour was during the "story" events of this game - sometimes the guests were actually able to mingle and trade hints and items. He was out of his wits. He was not in control - he was a guest held to (the literary conceit of) very high social standards, and it was his understanding that a very tall vampire lady was going to drink his blood. Or, well, that strangers would be touching him and making scary sounds near his face. The poor thing.

But Maud could do nothing for him, cooped up in her own little cupboard here.

She'd figured out that this game had turns. One or two ponies were let loose to "investigate" the Countess, who was very obviously a vampire but it was okay because it was pretend, and then everyone was called together for a story event and had all kinds of opportunities to talk or trade important items, and the two ponies who just had their turns ended up dead or something by the next guest's turn. It was an interesting idea. Probably the last few ponies left would win, somehow.

The eliminated ponies became scenery items, basically. They were dressed up like the valets, but they only showed up in story time, and acted like broken soulless husks. That was sweet of the people running the game, to let the losers keep playing, kind of. It also made sense. The story said the valets had their souls stolen by the Countess. Eliminated players also had their souls stolen by the Countess. So, eliminated players were on her side now. Neat.

Trixie had probably gone first, because she'd gotten eliminated first. Trixie had slipped her a note telling her to avoid the ballroom. There was death in it. Okay.

Roseluck and Sunburst had been eliminated next, so they must have gone together. She was pretty sure it was Sunburst who was trying to make ghost noises in her walls right now. She'd made a moo sound and the ghost had stopped talking.

Whoever went third - Maud would know with the next story event - had slipped her a note too:

Most definitely, absolutely, do not walk into the ballroom!!! 100% death! Trust me!

And no, DO NOT tell your valet! We'll get in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!

The note read kind of like Starlight wrote it. This was a guess. It was not 100%.

And now Maud was listening to her valet (Slate) spin the next chapter of a sordid tale.

"Four uff your companions have fallen to l'Countess," Slate wailed. "I am fearful to defy her - she eez powerful..."

"I'm pretty strong." Maud said.

"If you beleaf you are strong enough, zen..." the maid paused, a hoof on her belt. She was obviously contacting the team. "Zen go! Light our darkest hour! I'll not stand in your way any lon-gair. I hope you have ze drive to succeed, and ze heart to forgiff us our seens..."

"Thanks." Maud said, and gently pushed her out of the way to get going. "Excuse me."

It is important here to restate that Dr. Maudileena Daisy Pie's favorite literature series was Lord of the Rocks. This was not light reading; it was only for serious bookers, and deep, sincere lovers of fantasy besides.

In addition, Maud was also an experienced player of Ogres & Oubliettes, a multiplayer board game themed around elaborate, fictional scenarios and improvised character acting... much like she was doing right now.

Through both of these hobbies, and in all other fantasy-related pursuits, and even throughout her travels in reality as a rockologist, Maud Pie consistently found that the correct response to any rumor was to go find, do, or kill whatever was described in the rumor.

Including, and especially, when the rumor specifically warned not to do something.

Maud walked right into the ballroom.

Naturally, her attention was drawn to the grand piano in the center of the room. Her sister Marble liked to play the piano. It was Marble's strongest voice. Maud walked up to it without pausing.

She admired its glossy sheen, the deepness of its black body and black keys, the blinding radiance of its white keys. She imagined Marble playing it, playing the song she'd made from Maud's poem about rocks. ... One of them, anyway.

Maud smiled, her eyes soft in reminiscence.

She did not at all see or hear the large, heavier-than-Pinkie-Pie chandelier that, after stretching the gum attaching it to its now-open claw sufficiently far, fell directly onto her, its descent silent and graceful.

It was the crash that was rather loud and horrific.

Trixie walked back home with her companions. They'd all had such a great time that Trixie, as a "taken" guest, had forgotten she was supposed to be trying to kill Mud Briar. None of them had been soul-sucked by any moonlighting changeling queens.

The Shadowy and Soulless Trixie had even gotten to play a vital role in undermining the Countess, as Trixie was obviously going to be a pain in the ass, so they worked it in. Professionals.

She kept glancing at Maud. Maud had assured the staff of the MURDER House of 🧟DOOM💀 that she was fine, and wanted the game to continue for the sake of her boyfriend's birthday. In fact, she'd stayed right there with the shattered chandelier all over her, pretending to be a corpse (and later a zombie) for the rest of the game - after a pause to check and make sure no other props were compromised, of course.

And Maud was absolutely fine. There was no indication a chandelier had fallen on her any more than that a snowflake had. Trixie had never been more terrified of a presumably mortal mare.

"I'm so sorry, Maud," Starlight offered. "My note encouraged you to check out the faulty chandelier, didn't it? I didn't want to be too obvious in case the staff kicked us out for messing with it."

Trixie looked away with a scrunchy face.

"How did you know the chandelier was faulty." Maud pondered.

"Well, I got a note telling me to stay out of the ballroom, so I went in it."

Trixie's various vital organs paused for a moment. These ponies are idiots!! she thought to herself. I need to be more careful.

"Roseluck and I weren't so bold," Sunburst deadpanned.

"I teleported in, of course!!" Starlight clarified, "Because I figured the pressure plates at the doors would activate something if I walked in."

"There was a pressure plate." Maud asked, surprised.

"Yeah! You didn't notice?" Starlight asked, surprised. Maud was normally very perceptive.

A slight blush graced Maud's cheeks and Starlight chose not to dwell on it. "I saw there was a big-ass chandelier hanging over the middle of the room," Starlight continued, "And soon found that Trixie had bubble-gummed the chandelier."

Trixie stumbled and fell on her face again.

Maud pouted. "Is that true, Trixie." The unicorn estimated she now had a few seconds to cheat death.

"Trixie-can-explain." Trixie then told two truths and an utter lie as she got back up. "The Alert and Astute Trixie noticed this chandelier was rigged to fall down. The Caring and Concerned Trixie believed this chandelier would badly hurt anypony it fell upon. The Mistaken and Mislead Trixie believed her bubblegum would keep it from falling."

"Yeah it kinda fell on Maud," Starlight pointed out.

"It might not have if you hadn't gummed it, actually," Sunburst added.

"Trixie is aware." She looked down. She felt sincerely bad about that. "It's good that Maud is okay."

"I'm embarrassed." Maud said. "I should have noticed the chandelier or at least the pressure plate." Her eyes darted away as she looked down.

"It's okay, Maud, it happens," Starlight said. "Remember in O&O when I fell for a really obvious mimic chest?"

"You are a loot fiend," Maud said.

Starlight laughed. "Yeaaaah. I am." She rolled her eyes.

"It was really nice of them to set it up for Mud Briar to take out the Countess," Sunburst mused.

Trixie had been rather impressed by that. As soon as they were showed Maud's "corpse", Mud Briar's demeanor completely changed. He'd resolved to destroy the Countess, and smoothly manipulated the other guests and valets to figure out how to do it. He'd held up the "ancient unicorn horn" dipped in "Celestia's tears". He'd yelled, "Make like a tree, Countess!" Then he'd stabbed the black book, and she'd done this elaborate death rattling act, fell down into an abyss, and exploded into fireworks. Every single guest, taken or not, had a story reason to be there to witness that. It was so awesome.

"Trixie was very relieved to find that the Countess was not Chrysalis." she said.

"Loons, no kidding," Starlight sighed. "I almost shot her. What was her name again? Tree Top?"

"Indeed. She was the obligatory Very Tall Pony back in her circus days," Trixie smiled sadly. Her own circus days had been swell. Everyone said she was such a cute filly. Now she was an adult and cute wasn't good enough anymore.

"I'm not surprised Princess Luna tackled her the last time she was in Canterlot," Sunburst added, "She's a dead ringer for the real deal."

"I would like to see some of her fantasy roles," Maud added. Tree Top had apparently played some queens or other noble ladies in a few TV specials. And a few scary ghosts, of course.

"Pffft," Starlight suddenly got the giggles, "Remember Trixie's face when Merriweather told her in fluent Prench that she let her pickpocket her?"

"Trixie was elated!!!" the magician hopped up and down. "Can you imagine having to train yourself to speak worse for a role?! Did you ever think we were supposed to cheat?!"

"You weren't supposed to drop a chandelier on my head though." Maud mused.

Trixie stopped jumping and grimaced. "R-right. Perhaps that was a bit too much cheating..."