My Little Family

A few days later, I decided to visit The Hive for a few days.

"Hey, Thorax." I said, coming out of the portal.

“Johnny!” He said, then hugging me. He felt super soft. “What brings you here today?”

“I was wondering if I could spend a few days here.”

“Yeah, sure. You can stay in room 207. Be careful going out there. A lot of changelings were really happy that you saved Equestria.”

“Alright.” I walked out of the room, and I heard a changeling yell, “IT’S JOHNNY!!!” There was a tsunami of changelings on my right side, and a tsunami on my left. It took about thirty minutes to get to my room, because of all the changelings that wanted to give me hugs and kisses.

I stayed in my room for most of the day playing and listening to music. Around 8:00, I was playing the bass for "Longview".

"That's a nice line you're playing."

"Thanks."

"What song is it?"

I stood there for a second trying to figure out what to say. "Um, it's 'Longview' by Green Day."

"Can I hear the song? It sounds really cool."

"I'd rather you not."

"Why not?" He asked, tilting his head with curiosity.

"It has a bad meaning. Or, not bad, but... inappropriate."

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it. I'm not a foal."

I pulled out the lyrics for the song, handed the packet to him, and said, "Read the lyrics, then tell me if you want to hear it."

As he read the lyrics, the smile that always seemed to be on his face slowly faded away. After he read them all, all he could say was, "Oh." After a few seconds, he asked, "This is an actual song they made?"

"Yes, from their third studio album, 'Dookie'."

"I can't imagine a whole lot of ponies would want to hear a song about... self-pleasure."

"You'd be surprised."

"How many copies did the album sell?"

"Like... 20 million, if I remember correctly."

"20 million!?" He exclaimed.

"Yeah."

He stared at me for a few seconds in disbelief, before saying, "So, I'm going to head to bed soon. Is there anything you need?"

"No. I'm fine."

He walked over, and hugged me. "I'm so sorry that you tried commiting suicide. We all care about you. I hope you know that. If there's anybody you need to talk to, I'm here for you."

"Thanks." I said, tears pricking my eyes.

"So, there's nothing you need right now?"

"No."

"Can you promise me something?"

"I would like to know what that thing is first."

"Can you promise me that if you have any problems, you'll talk to me about them?"

"I can do that."

"Alright."

We hugged for a minute, before he asked, "You like my hugs?"

"Yeah."

"Would it make you feel any better if I stayed with you tonight?"

"No, I'll be fine."

"Alright. I'm going to head to bed. Good night."

With that, he headed out of the room. I sat on the bed and started thinking.

'Why didn't you just say yes?'

"'Cause, it... just felt weird at the time."

'But, don't you want to sleep with him, and his nice, soft fur?'

"I do."

'Well, then go ask him.'

"But, he already gave me the option, and I said no. He's probably already in bed. I don't want to disturb him."

'This is all your fault.'

"I know."

'Not just the fact that Thorax isn't here with you. If you hadn't said 'You wouldn't', Puppet would still be here.'

"You don't think I already know that? And, if you're going to try to convince me to end my life again, it's not going to work. I already caused Twilight and the others enough pain, I don't..." I thought about what I just said. "...I'm such a terrible friend. Putting all my friends through all that stress and pain. They don't even deserve me."

'That's correct.'

I didn't sleep at all that night. I just thought about how bad of a friend I was, how Puppet and Chrysalis were gone, and how soft Thorax was. It was hard to focus on anything the next day, since I didn't sleep. That night, I was in my room, listening to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", and something happened to my CD player, cause I had the song on repeat, but it went to "Wake Me Up When September Ends". When it came on, I thinking about Puppet and Chrysalis. After the first verse, I started crying. I couldn't handle it anymore. This had been all my fault. Puppet dying, all the others being stressed and upset, and the fact that I had been lying.

"Why'd you do it?"

I turned around, and through my blurry vision, I could make out the outline of Thorax.

"W-what?" I asked, wiping my face with my sleeve.

"Why'd you have to lie to me? Why'd you cause all of your friends pain? Why'd you have to challenge Chrysalis?"

"I... don't know. If I had known what would happen, I wouldn't have done those things."

"That's not a good enough excuse."

"It's not an excuse. It's the truth."

"So, you're saying that you didn't think anything bad would come out of this?"

I didn't have a response for that.

"I don't even know how we became friends in the first place. I can't have you being a threat to our friends, or at least my friends."

I looked up at him. "W-what do you mean?"

"Our friendship... it's over."

"You're serious?"

"You don't see me laughing, do you?" He snapped, walking out of the room. It took a minute for what he said to sink in. After it did, I started sobbing again. But I felt another presence with me. I looked up, and saw Luna.

"It'll be alright." She hugged me, and I continued crying for a few seconds.

"How about you tell me what's wrong?"

Two chairs appeared out of nowhere, and we sat down.

"I'm a terrible friend, that's what's wrong. I got Puppet killed after I challenged Chrysalis, saying she wouldn't kill him. If I had kept my big mouth shut, Puppet would be here right now." Luna was about to say something, but I continued. "I caused you all so much pain after I had tried commiting suicide. Not only that, I promised Thorax that if I had a problem, I would talk to him."

"I'm guessing you didn't."

"If I did, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be here right now. I seriously don't know how or why you are all still friends with me." I stammered, my face red and puffy from tears. I wiped away the last of them, but my eyes still burned.

There was a pause before she stood up and said, "Take a walk with me."

I got up as well, and stood next to her. A door appeared out of nowhere, she opened it with her magic, and we walked in.

We were in Ponyville. It was when the animatronics terrorized Ponyville.

"You guys shouldn't be scared." We turned around and saw the animatronics and a Panzer suit. "You should be TERRIFIED!" The panzer shot out its claw, and grabbed Golden Freddy.

"I think you know what happens here."

"Yeah, I saved Ponyville from the animatronics."

"If you were such a terrible friend, would you have stopped them?"

"No."

"Follow me." We walked back out the door, and into another. This time, we were in Celestia's castle.

"Will you do something for me?" A familiar voice asked from behind me. We turned around to see The Mane Six, Celestia, Luna, and Thorax. We got closer.

"I'll do anything."

"If you were such a bad friend, you wouldn't have comforted your dying lover in his final moments."

I didn't say anything, I just stood and watched. It was heartbreaking in the moment, and it was still heartbreaking. But what almost got me was when past me asked, "Puppet?"

"Let's fast forward a bit." Luna's horn shimmered, and within moments we were at Fluttershy's cottage. Past me was walking to the cottage with a bouquet of flowers.

"Even when you were going through something, you were still there to support your friend when she was mourning over a death. I don't think that makes you a bad friend."

"So, those are only three times. That doesn't make me too special."

"Need more? Follow me." We walked back out the door, and now, instead of just one, there were multiple. Luna's horn gleamed, the same aura covered the doors, then they opened. I took a look through the door on my right, which showed the time when Puppet and I performed at the party Pinkie threw me. I looked in another, which showed when We performed at the party Cadence and Shining Armor. I looked in another, and it was the time we performed for the Hive.

"You all made these ponies happy and touched their hearts. I think that makes you not a good friend, but an excellent one. That's why we are all here for you." All of the doors disappeared, except for one. We walked to it, and she nodded towards it. "Would you like to do the honors?"

I opened the door, and Twilight's castle stood in front of us. A few feet away, we saw the Mane Six and past me.

"I- we were thinking, since you don't have any friends, how would you like to be friends with us?"

The door closed, then opened again. This time, Celestia's bedroom was on the other side of the doorway.

“Pardon me?”

“Puppet being gone isn't the only reason that I'm upset. This whole thing is my fault. Chrysalis even said it herself, that she gained her power from feeding off my love. If I had kept my mouth shut, Puppet would be here right now. It also the reason I didn't want to talk about my feelings in the first place. I had told everypony that I had reformed Chrysalis and that she had turned good, but we saw how much of a lie that was. It's been hard living with that in my conscience, but it's been even harder with Puppet gone. I was always happy when we were together. I loved him a lot, and to see him gone like this... it devastated me. The Mane Six have been asking me if I was alright from last night. I know that they're just trying to help, but they just keep bringing the memory back. Not only that, but before Chrysalis took over, I got sent a letter from the ETC saying that we could perform. How are we supposed to do that now with Puppet gone?”

We watched as Celestia lifted me over to her, then saying, “There, there. It'll be alright. I'm sorry that you lost Puppet. I know that you are upset that he's gone. I'm here for you. And Chrysalis trying to take over Equestria again isn't your fault. You were just trying to turn her into a good pony.”

“Then, why does it feel like it's my fault?”

“It might be because you were the one trying to reform her. But, it's not your fault.”

We- They hugged for a minute before she continued. “If you need someone to talk to, come to me, no matter how busy I am. Can you do that?”

The door closed, and she said, "You're not a terrible friend, and that's why we're friends. You're kind, supportive, and kind of handsome."

"Only kind of?" I joked.

"I'm guessing you feel better."

"A lot." I hugged her and continued, "Thank you so much. Is there any way I can repay you?"

"You could do one thing for me."

Thorax walked into the room, and I said, "Hey."

"Hi. Luna said that you needed to talk to me." He sat down on the bed next to me.

"Yes. I'm sorry." He was about to ask me something, but I didn't let him. "I broke the promise, and I'm sorry about that. The truth is that I'm not feeling okay. I feel... alone. Puppet and Chrysalis are gone, and I was always happy when I was around them. I would always wake up, and be happy to spend my day with them. But now, both of them are gone. I’ve been trying to stay happy like Puppet asked, but it’s been really hard. I also lied when I said that I didn't want you to stay with me last night. It just felt weird hearing you ask that, and I hadn't done anything like it before, so I was unsure about it. But you have really soft fur, and you smell nice as well, and I felt comfortable and safe with you. But after what happened, I felt like it was my fault that they're gone, and it's my fault that everypony is stressed, and/or sad. I just felt like I didn't deserve it. I didn't even sleep last night. That's why I looked so sleepy today. You're such a great friend, and you deserve way better than that. So, I'm sorry, and I'll completely understand if you want to leave.” I looked at the ground.

He sat there, staring at me. "Well, I can't say that I'm fine with you breaking the promise..." he hugged me. "...but, I can't leave you here if you feel like that."

He lifted us into the air, then back down onto the bed.

"Do you feel any better?" He asked.

"A little bit."

"How can I make it better?"

"Maybe with a back rub."

"To do that, you're going to need to take your shirt off. Is that alright?"

"Sure."

There was a flash and my shirt was gone. Thorax started rubbing my back, and it felt amazing, his fluffy hooves rubbing my bare back. As he was rubbing, he said, "I kept something from you too."

"Yeah?"

"I actually do want to hear 'Longview'."

I looked up at him with surprise. "Really?"

"Well, there must be a reason it sold 20 million copies world wide, and I want to know why."

I put on "Longview", and we listened.

"It's pretty good, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry that you went through all that. I really wish you hadn't. Can you promise me that you'll talk to me if you have any problems? I won't be mad if you do, because that's what friends do, right? They help each other out."

'Friends. I want to be more though.' I thought, or I thought that I thought that.

What?

"What did you say?" Thorax asked.

"I said, I Pinkie Promise. You can trust me on this one, 'cause I don't break Pinkie Promises."

"Good to hear. Are you ready to sleep?"

"I've been ready."

He hummed the bass line for "Longview" as he ran his hoof through my hair. I laid my head on his chest, my right ear against his fur. His humming mixed with the steady beat of his heart and him rubbing my back was really relaxing. After a few minutes, I fell asleep.

I woke up, and looked up to see if Thorax was awake. What I didn't expect was for him to be looking at me.

"Good morning." He said.

"Good morning." I replied.

"You look like you slept well."

"I did. Thank you so much."

"You shouldn't have to thank me. I'm just glad that I could make you feel better."

"You really did. I feel super refreshed. Are you sure you didn't let me sleep for an entire day?" I joked.

He giggled. His giggle is adorable. "No, I didn't. You know, if you wanted to, we could do this again."

"REAL- I mean," I coughed. "That sounds good, but only if you want to. I don't want to do something if you aren't comfortable with it."

He giggled. "I'll be fine. Your singing helped me fall asleep. You have a beautiful voice, by the way."

I blushed. "Thanks."

"You feel better than last night?"

"Yeah."

"Good to hear. I've got some stuff to get done. But... I want to tell you something." I looked at him. "We all care about you. At times, we'll get mad, but that doesn't mean we'll stop caring about you. Please, talk to me if you have any problems, alright?"

"I Pinkie Promise."

"Alright. You want to play Uno later?"

"Yeah."

While the day went on, I was thinking about one thing: Tommorow holds such better days.

I was laying down with Johnny again. We had been cuddling for the past two nights, which would make this the third night. He seemed really happy whenever we did this. I think he might be starting to develop something for me. I mean... I wouldn't mind. I might have developed something for him. He's smart, caring, beautiful, and he has a good voice. I kind of hope he thinks the same way of me. Hearing that he tried killing himself, I almost broke down. After I found the letter, I felt even worse. Since then, I made it a promise to help him in any way I can, and to make him happy. I hope this was working. He seemed happy the few days he was here.

Hearing how he felt a few nights ago, it made me happy. Not the fact that he felt alone, but the fact that he felt comfortable and safe with me. Maybe he was starting to develop some feelings for me.

"I love you." I heard him mumble. My mind started racing when he said that.

'Was he talking to me? He's dreaming, so maybe he's dreaming of Puppet. He could be dreaming about me. If he talks in his sleep, maybe I can get something out of him.'

"Who are you talking about?" I asked. I wasn't really expecting a response.

"Thorax..." He murmured. I almost yelled "Yes!", but I didn't want him to wake up. "But don't tell him, though."

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

I gave him a kiss on his head. I knew exactly what I would be giving him this Hearth's Warming Eve.