National Security (S3 E19)

Dear Mom,

Well guess what, I have decided to do something that will make this country far more safe, it is something big. Do you remember when the Storm King decided to invade and caused all sorts of problems? Well I will tell you why the hell that happened. It happened because all Equestria has is guard ponies, we don't have an actual military.

As you know, the nation has been saving lots of money because of the defunding of festivals and not having to pay those greedy pegasus ponies to handle the weather. Ever since we did that, I have been taking the tax revenue that would have been spent on that and putting it in a secret fund for a military that I would create when the time came that Twilight would bail on this nation. I had a feeling it would happen way back then and now I have enough in there I can make this land safe from all enemies, both foreign and domestic.

Here is how it will work. All pegasi and Unicorns, upon graduation of high school, will be required to serve at least four years in the military, barring either physical or psychological disabilities. I will let earth ponies off the hook since they do need to grow and harvest the nation's food. I don't know how the pegasi will defend the country but I'm sure I could make some sort of use out of them. I've got it, they can clean the barracks and do other menial duties the Unicorns won't have time to do! Unicorns will be the ones to actually do the fighting! I know plenty of combat magic so I will write the books on how to train them and they will study them so that they can wipe out our enemies.

Because of this, I have also decided to raise the minimum age for marriage for pegasi and Unicorns to age 23. None of them will get out of military service, barring disabilities either physical or psychological, none of them! Hell I'm thinking of even making them come up to Canterlot to boot camp for six weeks upon completion of high school where they will study hard and then to pass, have to take a magic test with me as the teacher. The pegasi, they will be taught by the palace maids and chefs since their duties will be cooking and cleaning for Unicorns.

Also, I do know we will need higher level soldiers so I will be opening a military academy for UNICORNS where they will learn everything they need to know to become officers. No army can function properly with only enlisted ponies nor can we have mere high school graduates being officers. Once this is done, ponies will love me more since I will be putting national security ahead of worthless shit like festivals and pegasus created weather.

I have also decided that a secret police will be necessary as well. The secret police will be the ones who make sure that domestic terrorists and ponies who show loyalty to anypony other than Equestria are dealt with properly. After all, we can not just allow those who pay homage to foreign leaders to be roaming free around here. What will the punishment be for treason? It will be twenty years in Tartarus or twenty years on the moon, depending on my mood and that will be for the first offense. Further acts of treason will result in public execution, that will be sweet, right?

I will make Equestria a better nation than it ever has been before. With me, this land will be safe from unsavory villains like the Storm King and any rif-raff, like the ones from Klugetown that are caught in Equestria will be killed on site. No unsavory individuals from abroad will be allowed in MY country.

Oh and this better stay between us. If you tell even one pony about this, I will come down there and there will be hell to pay. As you know, I learned Tirek's magic so if this gets out, I'll come and absorb your magic. You may be my mother, albeit disloyal beyond belief, but I must put Equestria first.

Now do you think your precious little Twibitch would do what I'm doing? Hell no she wouldn't! She would restore funding to festivals, make ponies change seasons the hard way and pay greedy pegasi unnecessary and outlandish sums of money. Oh and don't worry about my magic school, I'm going to ascend Toola and Coconut further so they can teach at the magic school while I handle the military academy.

Anyway, talk to you later.

Militarizing Equestria,

Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer

Dear Dictator Glimmer,

What the hell did I just read. You are seriously going to do all this? You, my daughter, are going to turn this land into a military dictatorship aren't you? Seriously, unicorns will be the ones doing all the fighting? I suppose I can get that since they are the ones with magic but still, your whole system seems to be making pegasi be lesser than the industrious earth ponies and the soon to be warrior unicorns.

And a secret police, really? Do you really distrust our own citizens so much that you think that is necessary. I wouldn't be one bit surprised if you don't make it treason to love your sister and throw them in Tartarus for all eternity. I know you are likely doing this to spite Twilight since she'd never exert this much power but you really need to rethink this. Ponies aren't going to like constantly being under government surveillance, they aren't going to constantly want Big Sister watching over them.

I can see where you are coming from involving the Storm King but to turn Equestria into a police state is extreme. Hell I bet even the you when you oppressed that town wouldn't even think of going this far. The worst you did then was steal cutie marks and use mind control, you never went that far.

And to raise the minimum marriage age for those who will be required to serve in the military up to 23? I know you likely think that will keep all but the disabled ponies from serving but what if they are already married or they decide to elope to get out of this? Knowing you though you'd probably dissolve their marriage and station them on opposite coasts, well either that or throw one in Tartarus and banish the other to the moon for attempting to evade military service.

And this academy, you mean it will be something like the military academies in the My Little Human comic books? From the sounds of it, it sounds like only unicorns will be allowed in there since they have magic. I hate to say this but you seem like you are turning into a unicorn supremacist and that disappoints me a lot. I didn't think you were raised to be like this, I thought your dad raised you to not put anypony ahead of others.

Also, what about ponies that need to fly? Oh wait, you'd probably teach them all to fly with just their magic so I suppose you likely already have that covered. Please though, rethink this whole military thing or at least make service voluntary and do away with the secret police and minimum marriage age. You'll wind up turning the country against you if you do this. I'm just looking out for your image Starlight. You don't want to be hated now, do you?"

Upset and Even Scared,

Mom

Dear Mom,

Thanks for some of those extra ideas, they are greatly appreciated. Making worshiping my sister illegal, I love it! Dissolving marriages of those under eighteen? Perfect! Teaching the Unicorns to fly, that is a stroke of pure genius!

You know, you are giving me more great ideas but still, Big Sister....or should I say Superior Daughter is watching and don't you forget it!

Your Superior Daughter,

Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer

Dear Starlight (my favorite daughter),

I'm writing to you because I have a lot of concern about your plans. Your mother shared with me your plans and I am very worried that what you are planning on doing will turn the country against you. Nopony is going to want to be forced into military service and nopony is going to want to have to wait until they are 23 to get married.

I do think the idea with Unicorns being the fighters is a good idea though. Unicorns are the ones with the magic and I honestly don't know how a pony with no magic could fight anyway. Pegasi carrying a sword in their mouth or something won't get the job done. I also like the idea of a military academy because officers do need more education and training than enlisted ponies do.

I would advise against allowing non-Unicorns into the military at all. Them holding brooms with their mouths and making food simply using their legs may cause problems. Just have the military be Unicorn only. And this secret police, keep it secret! You should not have told your mother about it, especially given Twilight is her favorite. She talked to me about telling her but I did warn her that you'd likely come absorb her magic if you did so she promised me she wouldn't.

Anyway, you are my favorite daughter and I don't want the nation turning against you so take my advice, alright?

Love,

Dad

Dear Dad,

Well since you're the one giving me this advice, I'll listen because I know you truly care about me. I won't make military service mandatory and I won't change the minimum age for marriage, I'll leave it at 18. That does seem horribly young for anypony to get married but if it will keep the populous from turning against me, I'll deal with it. Thanks for looking out for me though.

Love your Favorite Daughter,

Starlight