The Sparkle Letters

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have been studying Barack's collection of historic records, and already have discovered many interesting facts. For instance, the Devil mentioned in my prior letter on their God has actually incarnated in several forms! His most recent was a human named "Reynauld Rei'gan", who irreparably damaged the country of America by starting a long-running war that has yet to end. The vicious things known as the Drugs must be incredibly dangerous, if such a war would be so ruinous and so long.

Perhaps more importantly, I have learned of the many ways in which humans communicate! They use incredible artifacts that enable them to write messages to each other even faster than Spike's letters can be sent! They can even communicate with their voices, or face-to-face--once again I am reminded of the scrying mirrors that the Unicorns once used. I quickly deduced how to use this device; it works by detecting when a human pokes it. Naturally, I was able to simulate such an act, though I had to modify my telekinesis spell quite a bit to achieve this.

I learned that there are many, many more "fanfictions" of various legendary figures. I learned that humans commonly refer to each other as bundles of sticks, for some reason. And I learned about a legendary ruler, who united a country and could do no wrong. I shall ask Barack for more information about these things soon.

Your studious student, Twilight Sparkle.

Dear Princess,

I rescind what I said in the previous letter. Hitler did many things wrong.