The Sparkle Letters

Dear Princess,

I have been studying very carefully. The humans must have some kind of magic. Barack has told me many times that magic simply does not exist in his world, but I refuse to believe him. Unfortunately, my studies have not borne any fruit.

First, I perused the Internet, the scrying network which Barack introduced me to. Many, many results appeared when I searched. Surely, they had to be real, but to my dismay none of them seemed to have any coherent principles or patterns. Many of them turned out to be works of fiction--unreal, never true. Psionics presented a promising lead, but I was quickly stumped here as well--again, nothing seemed to fit into the pattern of laws that our magic follows. Barack suggested I watch another work of fiction with him--a story about a young boy who discovers his own magical powers, and travels to a school filled with wizardry--but this only made me more upset. I didn't want to learn about fake magic. I wanted proof of real magic. I wanted to put to rest the itching worry in the back of my head, the sinking feeling in my gut--the idea that these humans simply don't have the magic of friendship.

I eventually turned to a more local source--a magic show, performed at a local theater, by a man who is said to be one of the best in his field. But when I got there, I found that his field was the same as Trixie's--he was no spellcaster, merely an illusionist. I write this now as I lay on the couch, waiting for Barack to finish preparing tonight's dinner, and I am despairing. Are these humans truly alone? Is that why I feel so alone here?

Your student, Twilight Sparkle.

My predicament presents one useful side effect, at least. There are almost no traces of magic here--but what little I can find, I recognize immediately. The stench of that prissy little princess lingers upon it. I'll have her soon enough; for now, I'll simply hide out in this alley and plan my vengeance.

But--what's that noise? An intruder? I shall ambush them. Aha, two humans are fighting. I can pick off the winner with ease once they have concluded this little tussle.