The Conversion Bureau: Nature Calls

by RedtheDestroyer

Protocol: Dooms Day

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It's a normal day in the Arizona laboratories for a top nuclear scientist. The human scientist was out in the middle of nowhere with plenty of food and water to last him years. He frantically ran inside looking for something. A recorder? It was an odd metal machine that had various colored buttons and lots of data running across his screen. He typed a few symbols into the machine. It asked for longitude and latitude which the scientist placed his laboratory's coordinates. He set the blast to fire in ten minutes. That's the time it would take before the ponies breech their way out of mexico. Just in time for the light show.

He turned to his contacting computer typing in a fellow comrade on the move. It ringed for a bit. Eventually, the man picked up his call. He was a double agent currently working inside Russia. Although, Russia is being attacked periodically by the ponies due to them being geographically closer to their lands.

The man on the other side was named Sam. They are long time buddies working for the U.S. in order to investigate if Russia still has the Tsar bomb. The most lethal nuclear bomb ever created. And from what Sam told him personally, it was a frightening reality just with the sheer number they still supplied. But that was before the ponies decide to conquer everything. They haven't taken down Russia yet. Everyone knows that Russians are tough son of a bitches even by human standards.

The scientist sighed knowing he doesn't have much time left. "Sam. I need you to do something for me one last time." The scientist said.

This got a worried look from Sam. Out of all the years he has been by the scientist's side, that face meant he was brimming on the edge of defeat. "Sure, Frank. What do you need?"

Frank gulped to himself wondering how he should explain this carefully. "The ponies.... They did a daring move and switch tactics. They are now attacking the Americas."

Sam's face paled two shades. It was bad enough that they were mowing down human soldiers with the splash conversion liquid. It turns seasoned veterans of war into new born foals that seem to worship the Sun Princess. Now that they know humans don't have magic, they are pushing for total control.

"Wh-What should we do? They are going to annihilate the human race at this rate."

Frank sighed. "I know, that's why I'm contacting you. I'm issuing DOOMS DAY protocol."

Sam seem to break his stoic mask looking more than against the idea. "Are you mad?! That's not going to-"

"Concentrate every nuke on Equestrian soil. And.... aim at every other piece of land as much as possible."

Sam gave a stern look. "You are not the President, Frank! You can't-"

A hard glare from Frank shut Sam down very fast. "The President didn't make it. He ended up being converted and shot in the head by his own bodyguards out of mercy. The ponies somehow snuck into his cabin and converted him there. I haven't been in contact with U.S. military for over 3600 hours. The only reason nobody is panicking is due to the Vice and the other back ups still in place." Sam seem to reconsider his words. "Think about it like this, Sam, if we don't act now the ponies will have the knowledge and weapons in their hands. The other nuclear scientists have already began the first phase. It is our only option. I might be saying a bit too much to you, but too much radiation will cause permanent damage to pony magic making it very unstable. The only way to deal with this problem, for good, is to cause the very thing we dread, Sam. Please, I know this is tough and a lot to ask of you, but the ponies are closing in. All I need you to do is proceed to the second phase."

Sam went quiet. It might have been the desperation, or how time sensitive this mission seem to be. But he saw, now, no other option that could get humanity out alive. "Fine, Frank. You win."

The scientist, Frank, smiled peacefully. "Thank you, my friend." With that said, he turned off the communication signal. Frank, leaned back in his chair looking at the count down to see he had two minutes left.

He honestly didn't want to die. If he had a better option, he would have rather picked that instead. But he knew anything was gladly better than being converted. He'd rather die a free man, then a mindless slave shackled to a tyrant. He sighed again before scooting over in his rolling chair to play a song. I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire by The Ink Spot played throughout the laboratory. He chuckled to himself. He didn't know why, but he particularly found the forties music to be rather pleasant reguardless of popular belief.

Frank thought back on his life as the count down zeroed down to thirty seconds. He never had A wife and kids mostly because he was so focused on nuclear physics that having family seemed... time consuming. Though, even if he had children, this was still the best option for humanity. Many will die because of him. He knows that, but the alternative was so much worse. He heard the pony hoof steps approaching his laboratory. He smiled to himself just as the count down hit zero. He closed his eyes feeling an intense heat before feeling nothing else.

A satellite laser beam was issed to strike Doctor Frank's Laboratory twenty minutes before Protocol Dooms Day was activated.


Sam walked through the russians seeing them scurry and flocking to kill as many ponies as possible. He was fortunate enough to be in the exact place he needed to be: to end the world. He entered into the russian military's motherboard room. The agent went to work hacking into the more basic protocols, fire walls, computer alarm systems, etc. He was good at his job and a professional at hacking too. It's the reason why the top nuclear scientist of the United States select him to do this. He knew one day it was bound to happen.

He just wasn't expecting today being the day, or the reason for activating the protocol is because of tyrannical pastel colored ponies with magic. He was almost done with the midlayers of the code. It wasn't easy hacking into this security, but he been around the russians long enough to get past most layers.

He knew that Russia's missiles won't be enough for what he needs to cover. Since Russia has the best hacking computers and techniques, he could twist that to his advantage. All he needed was a millisecond. He pulled out an old looking flash drive that was labeled MSCGV. He plugged the flash drive into the hardwire of the main computer before typing access codes.

He heard a few bombs go off from outside. Most likely missiles hitting against magic shields. Sam could agree with Frank on one thing, these ponies having nukes was just asking for the Sun Tyrant to abuse them. The computer voiced its concern.

'WARNING: MEGA SUPERVIRUS DETECTED.... ALL PROTOCOLS PROCEDURES DISABLED.... IMITATING PROTOCOL OVERRIDE.... DOOMS DAY.'

Sam's face narrowed. Second phase complete. He rerouted nuclear nukes ansd other missiles and weapons else where. He then activated the true nature of the virus once it spread into the first military servers of every country on the planet. That millisecond of total global shut down happened implacing the very thing he needed.

'GLOBAL MILITARY MISSILE SYSTEMS ONLINE.... PROCEED TO PHASE THREE?'

The agent hesitated for a second. This was it. He won't live to see the aftermath, but he could be assured now that the ponies will never be able to harm humanity on this scale ever again. He pressed enter.

The alarms blared red. 'Warning: Protocol Dooms Day is now in effect. Launching all missiles to appropriate targets.'

Sam smirked to himself pulling out his gun before shooting the computer screen and monitor. The procedure could not be stopped now. His expression sobered as he stood there for a moment. He press the gun against the side of his head closing his eyes shut.

He only had one thing left to say. "Go fuck yourselves, ponies. I hope you're happy you got what you wanted."


Celestia sat in the throne of Canterlot. She smiled to herself. Though, it still pained her she had to cleanse the human race. They were a brilliant bunch of apes, but they were simply too much of a variable for the new world. Not only that, but most just simply refuse to convert willingly. Their technology is intriguing, so the ponies might keep that to help further their society. Celestia thought to herself how close her plans are coming into fruition.

It was honestly quite peaceful in Equestria. Nothing worth noting that was until a horrible screeching sound filled the air. Celestia was quite confused what was going on until she heard the noise getting closer and louder. She only had time to teleport outside before the alicorn notice a small metal cylinder thing collide exactly between the side of Mount Canter and the city itself. A flash over took the entire city and blew apart a third of the mountain side. Every building immediately turned to brittle structural dust. Celestia herself only felt a brief flash of the most intense agony in her life before she evaporated in the explosion.

From a distance, the explosion looked like a giant grey ball with a halo high above an enormous smoke ball that took out Canterlot and half of its mountain. Large pieces of scattered rock hit the earth below them. Anyone that was directly in the city did not even had time to prepare, just like Celestia. They could only helplessly burn alive in the aftermath.

The largest Tsar Bomba detonated, fifteen minutes later on Canterlot, after Dooms Day was issued by remote UV drone bomber.

It was a full five minutes later a large portion of Equestria's sky was dotted in nuclear missiles from Japan, China, Russia, the United States, and just about any other nation close to the Pacific Ocean. The ponies living on the lands screamed in a panic they never felt before. The sea of everlasting fire is coming.

Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, was not in the best state. Her poor friend Fluttershy committed suicide due to their treatment against humanity. Rainbow Dash was crippled during the Russia Invasion. Pinkie went crazy after the first conversions happened, talking frantically and repeatedly about the 'Apocalypse of Ponykind', and the 'Sea of Fire'. It was superstitious crazy talk that no pony cared to listen on and on about in her ramblings. All the rest of her friends fought against humanity for three years now. They were making steady progress. It wasn't perfect, nor pretty, but it must be done for Ponykind to progress.

She was in the middle of perfecting the conversion potion to a more desirable solution before the door to her chamber burst open. "P-Princess! There is a state emergency, now!" A Royal Guard pony exclaimed.

Twilight paused in her work efforts turning around before glaring the guard with fury and worry in the eyes.

"What are you talking about? Everything is perfectly fi-" A tremor shook the earth below them before dying slowly.

She felt her blood freeze over before wordlessly teleporting out of her lab. She simply could not describe what she was seeing. She could see thousands upon thousands of mushroom and balls of smoke with halo clouds all dotted the landscape around them. It surround her and the lab. The royal guard came out, but she didn't even notice his approach. Her brain refused to register this phenomenon. She tried to understand what was happening, but there was no logical explaination for this. There was zero magic causing this chain reaction.

A dawning realization hit her who could have caused this.... the humans. The alicorn was familiar with records from a nuclear bomb being used once or twice. But nukes from then on were banned across the world from being used. Twilight was sure the humans wouldn't try to blow themselves up either. Even if this was a nuke, a pony shield can protect a pony against a nuclear blast.... At least she hoped so.

She placed a shield around herself, confidant it would hold, but she did not prepare for the aftershocks of each blast. The aftershocks of multiple nuclear radiation and heat hit her like thunder claps straight into the temple of her forehead. The royal guard's flesh burned almost instantaneously in the blast. The shockwaves immediately broke her concentration in that moment. The intense heat and radiation filled her lungs destroying her magic almost instantly. She felt her magic get ripped from her too, not sure how that was possible either. All she knew was pain. She tried screaming, but all the came out was a broken, throaty cry for help. Her wings burned to ash in the wave. Her flesh easily coming apart leaving exposed sizzling bone in places of her body. She felt like she was melting from the inside, but in a very slow furnace.

None ever came to help her even as the shockwave past. The pain was so intense she simply fell over and died in a matter of a minute through excruciating pain. Other ponies that dotted themselves around Mexico and even all the rest of the world suffer the same fate.

Protocol Dooms Day last for a total of two hours. Survivors of both humans and ponies were minimum leaving behind a nuclear wasteland across the world for thousands of years to come.


Author's Note

And Fallout: Equestria was born! I'm kidding, but still don't know why I felt the urge to write this, but here is..... Whatever this is.

Anyway, yeah. Don't think I will do another Conversion Bureau story again... This is just my take on what might happen if all else failed for the humans.

Now I'll take my leave....