120 Nights of Pony

"Okay, that was more interesting. Still pretty vanilla though."

"What part of putting my sister on a leash and fucking her in the park is 'vanilla'?" I grumble, crossing my hooves. My clever plan to one-up Trixie has backfired. Woe is me.

"The part where it was just a leash? Anon, we watch entire worlds for a living. A leash barely scratches the surface."

"...hmmm." I'm gonna need help for this one, aren't I?

The ticket to Ponyville was relatively cheap, not that money matters when you start every day fresh. Rush apparently likes train rides; she can't stop bouncing around in her seat, grinning like a madmare. "Geez, had too much coffee this morning?" I say with a grin, giving her a little squeeze.

"Sorry, Dawny! I'm just--we don't get to go to Ponyville ever. I don't even know where you got the money from!"

From the rent money. But she doesn't need to know that, because rent doesn't happen in this timeline. "Don't worry about it."

"Mmmm~! And you picked my favorite train, too!"

"Huh?" I do that head-tilt that I've seen so many other ponies do.

She gestures to the brass curlicues on the window sill. "This is one of the older ones, so it's still got the steam-age decorating. If I close my eyes--" She squeezes her eyes shut. "I can pretend it's one of the airships from Sky Breaker and the World of Tomorrow!"

Oh my god. She's into steampunk. Wait, I think I recognize that title--if you swap one of the words out...

"...so then they find out that the mad doctor was--"

"Rushie, we're there."

"Oh." She hops off the seat as I trot out of the station. Ponyville! Land of heroes. And apples. Mostly apples. A pink blur zips up to me, leaving only a piece of paper with an address on it and a cupcake-shaped stamp. "I wonder who that was?" Rushie says.

"Pinkie Pie."

"How do you--"

"Pinkie Pie."

Rushie shrugs as I beeline for the library-castle-thing. "Hey, wait a minute! I don't think they let ponies into the castle--"

But I don't care about where they let ponies go. I go where I wanna, and where I wanna is in that castle. I bang my hoof on the front door until the dragon answers it.

"Sorry, but the Princess doesn't take visitors--" I shove him out of the way and he rolls to a stop against the wall. Rushie gallops in after me, stammering about laws and other such trivial things.

I briefly wonder how in the hell I'm gonna find the Princess. Then, with a muffled thunderclap and a brilliant pulse of purple light, she finds me.

"Whoever you are, you're--"

"In a time loop!" I shout gleefully.

Trixie appears in a flash of light, scowling. "Damn it all, Anon!"

"Wait, Anon?" Rushie mumbles.

"You had one job--don't tell anypony about the timeloop!"

"Timeloop?" Rushie asks.

"But that magic is forbidden!" Twi shouts.

"It's not any magic you'd know of, Twilight--"

"Oh, stuff a sock in it, Trixie!"

"Timeloop?" Rushie asks again.

"Yeah. I've been using it to get laid," I explain. Rushie pops a wingboner.

"...and that brings you up to speed," Trixie says. "Now, the Angelic and Very Busy Trixie has to go explain to her superiors why this experiment is ruined." And like that, she vanishes in a puff of magic.

Twi starts pacing, muttering to herself about the implications of multiverse whatever. "...why did you come to me, anyway?" Twi asks.

"Oh, I needed to get kinkier."

Both Twi and Rushie go beet-red. Twi's horn sparks involuntarily. "Y-y-you what?" Twi asks, with her usual eloquence.

"I needed to get kinkier!" I proclaim joyously. "Trixie wasn't impressed with the time I put my sister on a leash--"

"ohmygosh"

"You're welcome, sis. Anyway, she thinks I'm vanilla as fuck, so now I gotta prove her wrong. Got any really kinky stuff? Like, tentacles and things?"

"Anon, that sort of magic hasn't been studied in years. And even then, it was meant as a weapon to fight Changelings! You wouldn't stand a chance!"

Wait, that's it. Changelings! I've read tons of stories about Changelings.

...hey, you don't get to judge. Look what you're reading. Anyway, all I have to do is find out--"Which way to the nearest Changeling hive?"

"What--Anon, you are not to go into the Everfree Forest!"

"Butterfree forest, got it."

"And especially not the Castle of the Princesses!"

"Castle Moonbutt, got it. Hey Rushie, wanna play some Super Mareio Kart?"

"200CC, Toads only, Rainbow Road destination?"

"...I need an adult?"

"I am an adult."