Rarity's Colt: Snickers's Harmony Trials

Author's Note:

More fun and whimsy, Snickers style.
Cuteness throughout ... and the word 'penis' is used.

For the faint of heart and constitution; you have been warned.

Arriving home, Diamond Tiara opened the door and gestured, with a slight bow of her head, for Snickers to enter first. Reluctantly he obliged and glanced back to see her closing the door quietly. “Oh, you’re all here,” he announced once entering the showroom.

“Yes,” Rarity said peeking from the kitchen, “and if you could all go upstairs and free up my work area for potential customers, I’d appreciate it greatly.”

“Yes, Miss Rarity,” they all chorused with Snickers saying ‘mom’ instead.

In a two by two line, they went upstairs talking as they went with the pony beside them into Snickers’s room and sat in a circle. Snickers had grabbed a pencil and notepad and gave it to Sweetie Belle for notes. “Okay, what did we all learn?” Pinch asked.

Dinky stood up. “We’re all doomed! They’re everywhere, everypony is one of them… even us!” She shouted and looked around at the group. “There, now that the panic portion is over; Pinch, Silver and me scouted Fluttershy’s cottage. Pinch,” Dinky clicked her tongue, “notes.”

“Yes, boss,” Pinch replied. “1:30 nothing. 1:35 animals are everywhere. 1:38 a squirrel climbed in my mane and we laughed. 2:17 Zecora left Fluttershy’s cottage. 3:10 we went pee. 3:11 we ran away from a horde of gophers. 3:14 Fluttershy gave us cookies. 3:45 we remembered our mission and ran away from the possible changeling.”

Snickers raised a foreleg. “Yeah, how’d you know what time it was?”

Pinch shrugged. “Best guess.”

Scootaloo stood up and looked at Pinch. “How do we know you aren’t changelings?”

“Because, I said so.” Dinky stood between the two and glared down Scootaloo.

Scootaloo sat down slowly. “Fine, but I’m watching you.”

Dinky raised a hoof to her eyes and then pointed at Scootaloo. “I’m always watching.”

“Yup, that’s Dinky, alright.” Apple Bloom said.

Dinky cleared her throat. “The last one we’re sure of because we looked at the clock in her cottage. What wasn’t there were any signs of changeling infestation. We didn’t see any slime, pods, or anything weird. The cookies were yummy, and I don’t think changelings can make them that good since they don’t eat food.”

Snickers nodded. “Good point.”

“Thank you,” Dinky said and looked at the crusaders. “Team Bravo, your report.”

Scootaloo stood up again and her wings flapped as she spoke. “Why do we have to be Team Bravo? We’re way cooler than that. I say we get to be called Team B.” Dinky waved a hoof at Scootaloo and sat down. “Yeah, Team B, reporting in, sir!” She and the others did a salute. “We scouted around town and Sweetie Belle took notes.”

Sweetie blushed a little and shook her head. “I… can’t share them.”

“Why not? You have them right there,” Scootaloo pointed to Sweetie’s tail.

“Because… they’re not great notes,” she said bashfully.

Apple Bloom turned and reached between Sweetie’s tail hairs and scooped the notebook into her hoof and opened it. “Huh, well, she did what we asked.”

Sweetie Belle covered her face with her forelegs while Scootaloo looked over Apple Bloom’s shoulder. “Sweetie, are you serious?! You wrote musical notes instead of taking project notes?”

“I’m sorry,” Sweetie whined, “I thought you meant notes, not notes.”

Apple Bloom tossed the notebook over her shoulder. “Well, that’s a bust. What Ah remember is that no pony has any idea of anything weirder than usual going on.”

“We didn’t ask about the changelings, so there’s no need to worry about a panic,” Scootaloo said as she sat beside Sweetie and leaned on her, “but no leads there.”

Snickers looked at Diamond Tiara. “Did you come across anything while I was distracting Twilight?”

Diamond looked at him quizzically. “What are you talking about?”

Snickers furrowed his eyebrows. “While I talked about science with her, you went through the book checkout logs to see if anypony had a pattern, you checked the shelves for missing books about monsters, right?”

Diamond threw her forelegs up. “How was I supposed to know you wanted me to do that?! You saw me laying on a bean bag the whole time.”

“What… you mean I wasted hours for nothing? I wasn’t watching you the whole time, you were gone a few times! I thought you were checking then.”

“I was using the bathroom and getting a drink! How was I supposed to know what you planned if we didn’t talk about it before-hoof?”

Snickers groaned and fell back. “So, we learned nothing, then?”

Silver Spoon spoke up. “Actually, Zecora leaving the cottage was a bit weird. Like, we know she trades in town now with potions and whatever, but it was something different.”

Snickers regretted falling back since he had to roll over and get to his hooves to turn around. He noticed four fillies blushing. “Okay, Zecora’s the zebra that lives in the Everfree. Should we check her out, spy on her?”

Apple Bloom waved a forehoof, fanning herself. “Huh? Oh, uh, Ah think that’s a good idea. What about you gals?” Several nods replied.

Snickers had the question burning over the few seconds, so he asked. “Okay, what did I do now?”

Silver was smiling a little and was chewing on the end of her braid, Diamond Tiara was looking at the others with apathy, Pinch and Dinky were whispering quietly on a nonrelated topic. Scootaloo tapped her hoof on the floor. “Fine, since nopony else will say it; we saw your everything and it’s super hot for a colt to do that.”

Snickers cocked his head. “What? Why? We’re always naked, everything out there anyway.”

Diamond Tiara tapped his side. “Not everything on stallions.”

Snickers looked down and below his shirt line he could see everything. He looked at Diamond. “What are you talking about? You can see everything right now.”

Scootaloo grumbled and walked into the middle of the circle and sat down facing Snickers. “Can you see everything?” Snickers looked her over and shook his head. Scootaloo fell back and let her legs fall to her sides. “Now?”

Snickers felt his face warming as he looked at her and he crossed his forelegs over his crotch. He looked away after two seconds but the image was burnt into his mind.

“That’s why,” Scootaloo said rolling to her hooves again, “it’s a submissive position and it’s hot as buck. Apple Bloom?” she called over her shoulder.

“On it,” Apple Bloom replied from his bed. She tossed a pillow perfectly at Scootaloo, who then tossed it to Snickers.

“Cover up, stud.”

Diamond nickered. “I wanna see it, show me.”

Snickers looked at her and held the pillow to himself. “No! Why?”

“Because, every pony in your herd has seen it, and if I’m gonna be your friend, I won’t be the only one that hasn’t seen your penis. Show me.”

Snickers looked at the CmC and then Silver Spoon, all of the fillies were more upset with Diamond’s attitude than the question. Sighing, Snickers moved the pillow forward so she could see.

“That’s what the big deal’s about, Silver? No wonder I’m a lesbian,” she stepped back and sat down with a roll of her eyes.

Feeling insulted, Snickers covered himself again. “You don’t have to be a bitch about it.”

Diamond flipped her mane. “Whatever, it’s not going anywhere near me, so it’s not my problem.”

Silver Spoon stood up. “Can I see it again? I mean, I only got a little peek once. I shouldn’t--”

“God fucking damn it,” he tossed the pillow into the center of the circle and stood on his hind hooves. “There, get a good look, everypony. Happy?” Snickers wobbled and waved his forelegs for balance.

“Kids, I’ve brought you some carrots and celery. I know how hungry you must all be after a day of…” Rarity looked at Snickers and what was flopping around. She set the veggies inside the door and stepped out. “Please, nothing untoward in my home at your ages,” she said before walking off.

Snickers fell to his haunches and then to his side. “Pillow?” Once the pillow was tossed to him, he covered his head. “Can one of you hand me a gun to put me out of my misery?”

“What’s a gun?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“So big,” Silver whispered.

“Oh, go tickle your tail, Silver Spoon, and get your mind back on what’s important,” Diamond said.

Silver realized she’d been staring and looked away, blushing and smiling while the CmC covered his hind with a blanket.

“Okay, I think this meeting is over,” Apple Bloom said. “Who wants ta play fer a bit? Ah’ve gotta get home at sunset, so we got a little bit.”

“Hide and seek?” “Tag?” “Cards?”
“Snakes and Ladders?” “Sweet Land?”

Apple Bloom tapped her chin. “Ah think Hide’n seek’s the winner. Snickers, ya playin’?” Snickers pushed himself up. “Ya gonna be okay?”

He nodded. “I’ll go find you all first. I’ll count to forty and no hiding outside or in any rooms with green over them. Okay?” He clarified and the fillies nodded. “Okay,” he picked up the pillow and tossed it away, then walked to the wall and closed his eyes. “One… two…”

The sound of fillies giggling loudly and scattering from the room brought a smile to his lips.

***

“Have a good night, everypony,” Rarity said as she ushered the last of the guests out. “Tell your parents about how much fun you had.” She closed the door and sighed, looking at Sweetie Belle and Snickers. “Now, you two must bathe and then go to bed. Snickers, would you mind talking with me for a moment while Sweetie draws the bath?”

Sweetie patted his side before trotting away. “Yeah, mom? What’s up?”

Rarity sat and opened her forelegs. Hesitantly, Snickers walked to her and let her embrace him. “Turn around, darling.” He did and she rested her chin on his mane while holding his barrel. “I’m not mad or upset about what I walked in on, I’m certain that a couple days ago I would have taken it at face value and reacted.

“However, this is a new Rarity, as you know. You have no idea how much it warms my heart to hear you call me your mother, and I intend to be a better mother than mine was. One of the things that I need to do in order to achieve that is to talk to you, which is why you’re here with me.

“I must ask, why were you standing tall with your penis fully erect in front of seven fillies?”

Snickers, while melting into her comforting cocoon, answered. “I laid on my back showing myself to them, then Scootaloo had to explain and show me why I shouldn’t do that. Then Diamond Tiara wanted to see it, then Silver Spoon, and then I just got upset and…”

Rarity chuckled. “Ah, yes. Even though they’re always out there, they’re never truly seen. I certainly hope you’ve learned a lesson from this, young stallion.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, and when you walked in I felt like I wanted to climb under a rock and hide for the rest of the night,” he mused.

“Oh, don’t do that,” Rarity replied, “you’d have to take an extra long bath if that were the case.”

They shared a giggled and Rarity sat up and let him go. Snickers hummed in disappointment. “Awe, I was liking that.”

“Yes, as was I. Now, as for our hour of time together, I have some ideas and we’ll try them once you’re done bathing. Do you need any help, or are you both going to be alright?”

Snickers rocked his head. He believed he could handle it, but wasn’t positive. “Can you supervise us?”

Rarity smiled. “I was planning on sitting outside the door as always. You may both be five years old, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to trust you alone in a bathtub,” she looked away. “Especially after that first time.”

Snickers’s heart ached. “Yeah, that was the start of all this Harmony bullshit.” He covered his mouth before Rarity could say anything. “Yeah, another bit in the jar. What’re we up to, by the way?”

“Walk and talk, darling,” she urged him towards the stairs. “Seventeen bits. I’ve had to exchange the single bits for a ten bit, I’ve never had to do that before.”

Snickers stayed silent, thinking of what seventeen bits could buy him at a base bit economy. A shake cost four bits, cookies were two for one. Ice cream was two bits a scoop while an ice cream float was two bits. Sparkly pencils were four per bit while regular ones were six per bit.

Before he knew it, he was being lifted in blue magic into the bath. “Ohh… yeah,” he sighed as he sank in, free from the magical assistance. “This water’s perfect.”

Sweetie giggled. “Thanks, it’s hot, but not too hot. I can’t put in the oils, though,” she looked at her big sister who grabbed several items from a shelf and looked them over before choosing one and pouring a little into the slow water stream.

“There you are, darlings. Now, play after you’ve washed. Are you certain you can do it yourselves?” Both foals nodded. “Very well, then. If you need me, just call.”

Dropping two loofahs and washcloths in the water, Rarity turned and left the room, giving the toilet area a once over.

“Okay, me first,” Sweetie Belle said walking through the water that was chest high and slowly rising. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo and floated it to Snickers.

“Okay, mane to tail,” he advised and she ducked under the water for several seconds before emerging with a sopping wet mane and tail. “You know, after my first couple of days here, I didn’t really think I’d be liking taking a bath with anypony. It was weird and always being naked was totally new to me.

“I was in the hospital getting back to health and checked over,” he said while starting to scrub Sweetie’s mane, “when me and three fillies and another colt were taken to a shower. The others tried to help me wash and I lashed out at them, I even made a filly cry because she touched me,” he sighed.

“Why’d you do that?” Sweetie asked.

“I was new to the world, I came from a world where I didn’t want to be touched because it usually led to something that I didn’t want to happen. Hell, my mother was twelve when she had me.”

“That’s not too bad,” Sweetie said, loving having her mane washed.

“That’s in human years. It’s like a five year old pony having a foal; sure, it happens, I’m sure, but does that make it alright?”

“That’s awful,” Sweetie said quietly. “I’m so sorry for your mother and you, having to go through so much while so young.”

“It’s alright. It was the way the world worked back there. It was just luck that I survived; even with the super advanced technology available to my people, almost none of it actually stayed on planet when the corporations left. Like I said, it was a nice planet that was turned into an interstellar scrap dump.

“A dozen generations survived before me, and I was lucky enough to be taught engineering disciplines before I was ten. I had plenty of skill, but with four factions fighting for world domination, it wasn’t much of a life. Anyway, my first bath with you was the first time I was comfortable enough.

“Now, I can’t imagine how you took baths alone.”

Sweetie giggled as he scrubbed her side. “I had my sister on some nights and my friends others. Almost no pony actually bathes alone, or showers alone. Like, a couple days ago when we all took a bath together, except Silver Spoon because she’s snooty. Me and the girls have a system.”

“Yeah,” Snickers exclaimed, “I was totally awed by that! You three washed each other at the same time in the same ways and got done at the same time. Then you played fighting with me to get me clean and mom came in thinking we were really fighting, but you were just trying to wash me all at once.”

They both giggled. Sweetie swished her tail when Snickers brushed it while moving to her other side. “Silver Spoon was peeking over the edge of the tub and wanted to come in, but she was too proud to join us after making such a huff about not.”

“I didn’t know that, poor Silver. She’s super in love with me, I think.”

“I think so, too. But, what’s up with you and Scootaloo?”

Snickers huffed. “I don’t know. She was super into me, to the point we almost had sex. Then, in that stupid vision, I fell in love with her and she got over me. Now, I’m just confused about it all. I know I really like her, but I don’t know if it’s love. But, I don’t know how to handle pony relationships because I’m still learning to be a pony.”

“I’m kinda glad I don’t know what that’s like. I mean, going to a new world, in a new body, with no idea how anything works? That sounds… sad.”

Snickers stopped lathering her tail to think about it. “Yeah, it is. That’s a good way to say it. But, now that I have you and mom, and all the others, I can’t imagine being sad like I used to be.”

Sweetie turned around and hugged him. “You’re the best nephew ever.”

“Thanks. Now, can I get back to your tail? I was actually enjoying myself.”

Sweetie backed up and nodded, turning again. “So, what do you think about the changeling? Is it really Fluttershy, or do you think there’s something else going on with it?”

Snickers snickered. “About that…”

“What?” Sweetie asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Well, I might have made some of the stuff up just to get the Dink off my back. I really did have a little scuffle with Fluttershy, and she did act really weird, but that’s not really enough to call out a monster, right?”

Sweetie, while upset, understood his perspective and reasoning. “Well, as long as you don’t try to get Fluttershy in trouble and stop leading the Dink and Pinch on, I guess it’s okay.”

“It’ll be over by Sunday, I promise. Now, how about I braid your tail, just for fun?” Snickers asked.

“I dunno, Rarity doesn’t think braids look good on me.”

“Pshaw, we’re in the bath. Wash me and then let me braid your tail! It’ll be so much fun,” Snickers gave Sweetie pleading eyes.

“Oh, fine. But they come out before the bath is over, okay?”

Snickers hopped in the tub and slipped when his hooves landed causing him to splash into the water. He surfaced with a smile. “Yippee.”

***

“Mom?” Snickers asked after their bath.

“Yes, my little stallion?”

“Can I sleep with Sweetie tonight? Please?” Snickers asked.

“Well, as long as it’s okay with her, I don’t see why not. However, I would like you to sleep in your bed as well. Ever since you started your herd you’ve only slept one night in your own bed. And that’s been over a week, now.”

“I know,” Snickers said giving her a hug, “thank you! So, can Sweetie play with us?”

Rarity nodded. “I don’t see why not. However, I have something different in mind tonight.”

Sweetie trotted up with her mane in a towel. “What’s that, sis?”

“Well, I know plenty of games you foals like to play. I was one myself not too many years ago, after all. However, I was thinking I could show you the art of sewing tonight.”

Sweetie groaned and fell over. “Not sewing!”

“Certainly not, I’m going to try something new. Come along,” Rarity said and went downstairs with her charges following. She led them to her sewing room and showed them two short tables. “These are your workstations. I’m not foolish enough to have you use a sewing machine or try to thread needles, but I do have something you can both try, and may enjoy.”

She lit her horn and brought out two boxes and set them on the tables. “What’re these?” Snickers asked.

Sweetie opened hers and blinked. “Sticks and yarn?”

Rarity laughed quietly. “No, Sweetie, this is a knitting set. Now, I understand that you may not love knitting straight away, but it’s very useful in our world since every creature can use something knitted, regardless of their opinion. A dress can be worn a couple times, but a knit cap can be worn every day through winter.

“A knit scarf can be fashionable year round, with the right wardrobe, and you recall what happened with my knit sweater, right, Sweetie?”

Sweetie looked around. “Where is that dumb cat?”

“I hope it choked on a mouse,” Snickers mumbled and got a tug on his ear. “Ouch! Mom?”

“I won’t have you say such things about my darling little Opal-wopal. She’s a lady and should be treated as the gem she is.”

“Yeah, just like I’m supposed to be a treasured gem that should be taken care of, loved, and never hurt… then you tug my ears?” Snickers snarked.

Rarity went on guard. “Well, that’s different. You’re a colt and she’s a precious little kitty cat.”

“So,” Snickers looked into Rarity’s eyes and pouted, “you’re saying that if the house was burning and you could save one of us, you’d choose the cat because she’s cuter?”

Rarity pressed a forehoof to her chest. “I would never choose a feline over you, my darling young stallion,” she said rushing to hug him. “I’m so sorry I made you feel invalidated, you’re more important to me than anything in this world.”

Snickers looked over Rarity’s back and winked at Sweetie. “S-sister?” Sweetie said sadly. “You don’t love me anymore?”

Rarity’s eyes widened and she stepped back to look at her pouting and watery eyed sister. “No, I still love you, too. I love you both more than anything in the world and I’d give my life to get you out of the burning boutique, both of you.”

Snickers looked at Rarity seriously. “Then get rid of the cat to prove it.” A long few seconds passed before he snickered and started laughing with Sweetie Belle. “We had you! Gotcha! Pranked, booya,” Snickers pumped his hoof in victory. “And it didn’t go horribly wrong this time.”

Rarity rolled her eyes in humor. “Yes, yes. You got me, quite amusing. Now, if there aren’t going to be any more shenanigans, I’d like to spend some time knitting with you before we have to go our own ways.”

Winding down, they took a seat on the floor by their tables while Rarity walked them through the process of knitting.

“Well, this is actually more fun than I thought it would be,” Snickers said after several minutes of instruction and time to work on his own. He looked at Sweetie Belle, who had her tongue sticking out slightly as she moved her knitting needles between the yarn.

Rarity hummed in approval. “Yes, you two seem naturals at this. Are you certain this is your first- Oh my gosh, Sweetie Belle! You got your cutie mark!”

Sweetie turned to look and fell over, rolled with the motion, and stood on her four hooves running in a circle to look at her flank. Rarity snickered and then covered her mouth as she laughed. “Gotcha,” she snickered. “Not so funny when the shoe is on the other hoof, is it?”

Sweetie snorted. “You’re a big stinky marshmallow!” She stomped to her workstation and picked up her needles.

“Excuse me, my little mini marshmallow with cotton candy mane? I don’t believe I heard you correctly?”

Sweetie stuck her tongue out and Rarity did the same.

“Now kiss,” Snickers said with a grin.

“Fine,” they both said. Rarity held Snickers still while she and Sweetie kissed his cheeks several times before he was let go.

He promptly wiped his face with his yarn. “Gross, I don’t want slobbery kisses from family.”

Sweetie took her seat again. “No, just from Scootaloo and Silver Spoon,” she teased.

Snickers slapped his needles down and glared at Sweetie while Rarity cooed. “Awe, does my little chocolate drop have a crush on a new filly?” Rarity asked and made a kissy face.

“It’s none of your business,” Snickers retorted.

“Oh, I believe it is,” Rarity said walking behind him. “If you plan to start another herd under this roof, then you must tell me every little detail you can. I won’t have my colt grow into a stallion that doesn’t like to talk to his mother, after all.”

Snickers picked up his needles again and went back to work, ignoring the giggling at his expense.

“Well, what about you, Sweetie? Who do you have a crush on?” Snickers asked to redirect Rarity.

“Nopony. I’m really just focusing on crusading and being a kid right now. Maybe next year I’ll think about it, though.”

Rarity stood between the two foals and looked at Snickers. “See, my sister had her priorities straight. You should take example.”

Snickers looked aside to Rarity and noticed Sweetie Belle pointing and pretending to laugh. “Yeah, sure I will. I’ll just be a little marshmallow that’s too cute for her own good and has a certain colt watching her when she walks around like she’s the only filly on the planet,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh-ho-ho, what is this, now? A little tidbit of gossip, do I hear?” Rarity asked leaning closer to Snickers. “And who might this colt be that’s smitten with my sister, hm?”

Snickers looked around Rarity to see Sweetie frowning and puffing out her cheeks. “Well, I don’t know his name, but next time I see him I’ll be sure to get a good look at him and ask his name for you, mommy.”

Rarity winked and leaned close to whisper to him, “I know you’re just teasing, but you’re really good at it.” She leaned back and stood up. “Well, now that we have a plan for Sweetie’s future, let’s get back to knitting, as long as you’re having fun, that is.”

Snickers clicked his knitting needles together in a steady rhythm. “You bet I am, are you, lover-girl?”

Sweetie’s cheeks were tinted pink and she growled in the back of her throat. ‘You win this round.’ Sweetie Belle mouthed to Snickers.