Read the comments to put your dirty mind at ease.
When Twilight went over to Rainbow Dash's Cloudsdale home to visit Rainbow Dash foalsitting Wind Sprint, she was greeted by Rainbow Dash’s face hot and flushed, her whole body sweating, and her tongue stuck out. The blue pegasus collapsed to the floor, her jaw loose, moaning gently.
It had been only three hours since Clear Sky dropped off her daughter Wind Sprint at Dash’s house for foalsitting. Twilight was completely caught by surprise. She was only stopping by to pick up some papers she had left at Dash’s place last week.
“Rainbow Dash, what in Equestria is going on here!?”
“Oh Celestia…SCREW that little filly!” Rainbow Dash staggered around the cloud lawn outside her house, looking as if she could barely walk. After a few heavy steps, Twilight saw Dash’s flanks give way and she fell onto the cushion of the clouds outside.
“What happened, Rainbow Dash!? Is Wind Sprint all right!?”
“Ah, she’s fine. That little bitch can take it, but I can’t,” she muttered under her breath. “My age doesn’t really help either.”
Twilight was immediately suspicious. She couldn’t say that she would be terribly surprised that this happened—there was that time on margarita night after the last Council of Friendship meeting that Rainbow Dash rubbed Scootaloo a little too close to her cutie mark region. Luckily, Scootaloo wouldn’t take any of it and kicked Dash right in the teats. They forgave each other the next morning, and thankfully what happens at CoF after-parties stays in the royal ballroom.
The Princess sighed to herself as she recalled the number of royal pardons she wrote the following morning, accompanied by a terrible hangover.
“It’s the hot stuff,” Rainbow Dash said, still collapsed on the cloud. “Wind Sprint’s got hot stuff.”
Twilight took a deep breath, realizing the gravity of the situation. But she was the Ruler of Equestria. Who better to handle this situation? She helped Dash off the cloud surface. “Okay, let’s sit down, and you can explain to me everything that happened,” the Princess said quite seriously.
They flew into Dash’s living room and sat down on the couch. “Now, Rainbow Dash, you and I have been really good friends for a long time, so I hope you can trust me enough to tell me the truth. Do you understand?”
Dash nodded, her breathing still quite heavy.
“And in exchange, I promise that I’ll listen to your story and not be judgmental.” She took a really deep breath, wondering if she could keep that promise. “Now, Rainbow Dash. When did this happen?”
“Eh…for the past two hours,” she replied. “But like an hour and a half is just me trying to recover in between,” she said, with a joking smile on her face.
Twilight tried to silence her gasp of shock. “Wh…where did this occur?”
“In the kitchen.”
“I see. And…why did you do it, Rainbow Dash?” Why did she molest her best friend’s stepdaughter!? A million thoughts ran through her alicorn mind. Revenge? Jealousy? A prank? A…fetish? Twilight shuddered thinking about it.
“She wanted it,” Rainbow Dash replied.
“She wanted it!? How can you say tha—” she lowered her voice. “I mean, why…why do you think she…wanted…it?”
“I went into the kitchen to clean up a little cause I basically never cook since I started dating AJ, and everything was a huge mess. And that’s when she showed me her box…that hot stuff…and she practically begged me to have…” Rainbow Dash took a gulp of water.
Twilight was questioning the morals of the little filly as well. But mainly Rainbow Dash, who should’ve been had more self-restraint as the grown-up. “Rainbow Dash! What will Clear Sky think of this!? Not to mention Applejack!?”
“Oh, they both know all about it,” Dash said, lounging a bit too casually on the sofa. “In fact, Clear Sky stopped by half an hour ago, actually. On a hot air balloon, since she can’t fly.”
“And what did she have to say about what you two were doing!?” Twilight said sternly.
“Oh, she joined in!”
“What!?” Twilight shrieked. She couldn’t believe any wife, let alone an ex-Wonderbolt’s wife, would actually be in an incestuous relationship with her own daughter!? And then join in on a threesome with an active Wonderbolt!? What was this!? Incestuous Wonderbolt fetishism!? The gears in Twilight’s alicorn brain were going into overdrive.
“Wind Sprint put the really hot stuff right in her mom’s face, y’know,” Dash said. “And one lick of the tip was enough to make Clear Sky get all flushed.”
Twilight was convinced that this was a nightmare and started pinching herself with her magic.
But Rainbow Dash wasn’t finished yet.
“Then AJ stopped by too, 15 minutes after that,” she continued, still lounging casually on the sofa. “We all got into a circle round the kitchen island and did it together. You know, it got really interesting once AJ brought those apples over.”
First of all, why!? And second of all, no way that would fit. Twilight stared at her own, down there. Since her horn had gotten longer as an alicorn she’d tried contorting herself and “fiddling herself” with her horn, but…she tried her hoof once, and it didn’t fit, let alone a whole apple. No way.
“How…does it fit…?” She couldn’t believe she actually bothered to ask. If when she got back a royal guard asked what she was doing, she would make damn sure to lie and say, “I was going out for a walk.”
“Well, AJ cut it into slices for us,” Dash said, “but AJ can fit the whole thing in. She’s used to it.
“Actually, Clear Sky’s coming back soon, why don’t you say hi to her? We’re all gonna have some of her milk. Wind Sprint drank some this morning, but I'm dying for some.”
Lactation!? Erotic lactation!? Was there no END to this debauchery!? Twilight was starting to get dizzy, and it wasn’t from the alicorn growth spurt. Twilight covered her ears with her hooves in resignation and shook her head.
“Stay here, Dash,” she implored. “Do NOT move.” Although Dash was one of her closest friends, she had a duty to report such matters as Ruler of Equestria. She had already been lax enough at the Council of Friendship after-parties (mostly since she was too drunk to know what rules were broken, but that’s beside the point). She wasn’t going to let this one slide.
Even Rainbow Dash, she could understand—she was always one to sail a little close to the wind, or in this case to little fillies. But Applejack too? And Wind Sprint’s own mother!?
She went to the table near the foyer and pulled out the journey book from her saddlebag. Twilight had originally had the book to communicate with Sunset Shimmer, but she found it was also useful for communicating with Spike and her close friends.
Spike,
Serious developments at Rainbow Dash’s house.
Rainbow Dash was molested Wind Sprint, Wind Sprint is in incestuous relationship with her mother Clear Sky, Applejack also involved.
I will investigate.
--Twilight
Then Clear Sky showed up at the front door.
The ruler of Equestria was furious. She confronted the pink unicorn right away, yelling in her Royal Canterlot voice: “WHAT THE HAY IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!? HAVE YOU NO SHAME!? WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? SHE’S STILL A FOAL!!”
Rainbow Dash appeared shocked at Twilight’s hostility. Clear Sky trembled at the authority of the Ruler of Equestria. She quickly kowtowed in submission. “I…I…was just going to drop off some…milk…Your Highness…”
She showed Her Highness the half-drunk carton of organic 2% milk. It costs 3 bits a carton, and is something you can buy at any market in Equestria.
“Leftovers…from my fridge…Y-Your Highness…” Clear Sky said meekly.
The princess was even more confused when Wind Sprint flew out of the kitchen door, looking very unhurt, with a very innocent smile, and said, “Hey, Mom. Hey Rainbow Dash. You ready to try the really hot stuff?” the foal said, quite casually.
“Not the Tantabus pepper stuff, please…” Clear Sky said, with a joking smile.
“Tantabus? Pepper!? What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
Wind Sprint flew back into the kitchen.
The little filly came out holding a gift box containing a few bottles of…
…hot sauce.
To be precise, a milder green Serrano pepper sauce, a Scotch Bonnet pepper hot sauce, a fermented sambal, and the “Black Death” Tantabus pepper hot sauce. “Wanna try some, Princess Twilight?” Wind Sprint said. “This one tastes really interesting if you dip it with apple slices,” she said, pointing to the Serrano pepper sauce. “Like, interesting as in really good.”
“It’s the hot stuff,” Rainbow Dash said to Twilight. “Wind Sprint loves hot sauce and wanted me to try some. But now at least Clear Sky’s brought the milk so we can tame the spice a little.”
The Ruler of Equestria was confused whether to start sobbing or laughing.
“But…you mean…I…I…I thought you meant…” Twilight whispered in Rainbow Dash’s ear, the princess’s face blushing with embarrassment.
“NO! EEW~! OF COURSE NOT! Ha…HAHAHAHAHA!” Rainbow Dash laughed and laughed until and she rolled off the couch and onto the floor. Clear Sky and Wind Sprint didn’t get it because they weren’t in the room at the time, so the mother and daughter just looked at each other and shrugged.
“I swear…I swear, Twi…that wasn’t intentional! I wasn’t pranking you…I SWEAR!” Dash said out loud, interspersed with uncontrollable laughter.
Twilight laughed along as well.
“Mom, do you get it?” Wind Sprint whispered.
“Not a clue, Windy.”
Twilight quickly apologized to Clear Sky for the outburst, attributing it to something that she simply described as “a misunderstanding.”
“But imagine if that were a prank,” Dash said to Twilight, “That would be the most awesome prank EVER!”
Twilight suddenly recalled that Spike had pulled a prank on her just yesterday that almost led her to declare war on Yakyakistan (it’s a long story).
It was payback time.
There was another knock on the door. “Oh, that’ll be Applejack,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Hey, you staying, Princess?” Wind Sprint said.
Twilight quickly scribbled a message to Spike in the journey book.
Spike, I will be staying at Rainbow Dash’s house with Wind Sprint, Applejack, and Clear Sky.
We’re going to try Wind Sprint’s hot stuff together. Getting flushed just thinking about it, hehehe…
--Twilight
At Royal Canterlot castle, an important purple dragon cowered in a dark corner, on the verge of losing his mind.
Author's Note
I apologize for nothing. 
Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments! 
