Eris's Closet of Fun-sanity
Celly's Stuck in the Closet
"Are you kidding me?!?" Celestia's voice boomed as she tried her best to restrain herself, lest she end up blasting a hole through the wall. "All of that destruction and warped property and it 'wasn't a big deal'?!?"
Eris rolled her eyes and floated above Celestia, making some of the books flap around her and dropping letters on the floor like bird plops. "Honestly, I don't see the big deeeal~ No one's really hurt!"
"There are several ponies in the hospital trying to get their lower halves turned back into normal!! Who even thinks of turning their legs into squid tentacles??"
"Hehehehe..."
"It's not funny! Ponies are seriously hurt!"
Eris raised her eyebrow. "Really? They were hurt?"
"Well... No, but someone could be really hurt, or super embarrassed considering they couldn't control them!!"
"Yes, but no one was actually hurt, so it's no big deal~" She whipped out an apple and peeled it like a banana, revealing an orange's interior which was thrown and splatted onto Celestia's face for the much more appealing peel. The princess growled and wiped her face of the blue mess, gripping her fists tight as she took a long deep breath. "Eris, if you don't take care of this problem right now and be on your best behavior for the feast tomorrow night, I promise you that I'm gonna send a few letters to make sure you get back to your old place in the Canterlot Garden."
The threat of petrification caused the draconequus to stiffen up, gripping her claw slowly as she turned to her colleague with a very uncharacteristically calm smile on her face. She floated down and stretched her body in midair to meet her gaze, her grin widening slowly. "So, you're gonna stone me if I don't be a good girl, huh?"
Celestia's eyes widened as she backed up, realizing she might have made an error in angering Eris. "I-I'm sorry, Eris. I didn't mean to threaten you like that. I-It's just that all this chaos is making my job harder!"
"Well then, why don't you change that??" Eris puffed her cheeks, steam coming from her head. "You're in charge!! you could do all the crazy stuff you wanted to do again, remember???" She snapped her fingers and produced a long list drawn in crayon and gradually moving to colored ink, then full quill by the end. "Silly outfits all the time, a garden of cake, a big statue of you? What happened to all those crazy dreams??"
Celestia sighed. She recalled when they were younger, they would spend many nights pranking the guards and writing up a list that was filled with the most absurd ideas she would implement when she ruled. That list was filled to the brim with nonsensical wishes and desires that the two shared, and added as the years passed. That was, of course, before she realized how much of a struggle it was to actually run a kingdom. "I know I thought a lot like you back then, but it's different now. There are so many responsibilities I must tend to, and... Well..." She moved a bit of her flowing mane to the side. "Those dreams just aren't a reality."
The princess looked over at Eris and was quite shocked to see her looking down a bit, fiddling with the list with her mismatched claws. "Where did the time go, Celly...?" She muttered, Celestia moving closer and gently embracing her with a warm hug. "A long ways away..."
Eris wrapped her arms around Celestia and the two hugged for a moment. Then, all of a sudden, she sprung up, a lightbulb appearing above her head with a Ding! "I got it! I know how we can have our old fun again!!"
Celestia looked back in surprise, but before she could even ask what was going through the madwoman's mind, Eris snapped her lion paw, producing a massive set of wooden doors. Celestia stepped back a bit, gazing in awe. "Eris, what... What is that?!?"
"What, don't you recognize it? It's my closet~!" She opened up the doors, revealing a massive swirling vortex that pulled Celestia closer and closer into it, despite her attempts to escape. That was when the bottom of her dress, ripped open, revealing her thin, white G-String. She let out a yelp and instinctively tried to cover up, but with one quick tug, she was thrown into the vortex, the door shutting behind her as Eris cleaned her hands, dust appearing with every clap of them. "There we go, Celly! Don't worry, things will be so much better when you're done in there!" She leaned against the floating doors and was ready to wait for her closet to do its thing when she realized something.
"... Wait, Celly wears a thong??"
The sounds of Celestia's screams couldn't even be heard as she flew through a cornucopia of colors. Reminded of Eris's piercing gaze, she instinctively covered her eyes, trying to avoid any mind-altering effects on the way up, down, and all around. Time was twisting, space was warping, and it wasn't long before the princess was met with a sudden drop and a meeting with several landings down a series of hard objects.
"Oof! Ow! Ow Ahh! Ow D'oh! Eek!"
The sounds of horns, bonks, musical instruments, and various waterfowl were met as she tumbled down,e eventually landing facefirst on what she assumed to be solid ground, despite the BOING that came from it. "Mmmgh..." Her groans were muffled as she tried to get up, prying her face off the ground and causing her face to stretch until it snapped back, tiny flying books floating around her head and her face flattened in the most comical way if you were a chaos goddess. As for Celestia, she was unamused, shaking everything back into place and shooing the books off with a hand. That's when she got a look at the area around her.
The sky was a mess of colors, weird primordial shapes forming and morphing in different directions before reshaping into something new. The ground was a patchwork of different landscapes (some she recognized, some clearly only existent in Eris's demented mind), large chunks floating in nothing, and everything looked so... Colorful. It wasn't just the pastel color of her home, but a mix of clashing colors, from dark blues that were somehow bright to neon colors that just hurt her eyes to look at.
"Very funny, Eris!!" She called out to the sky. "Now get me out of here so I can show you what I think is funny!!" No response was given. She tapped her foot a bit, waiting for something to happen. "I mean it, Eris! I'm going to count to three, and you better have me out of here!" Again, nothing. "One... Two..."
SPLAT!!!
Her vision was blackened as a bookbird unleashed a gob of ink and letters on her face, flying off with its collection.
"Three." She wiped off the gunk before it stained her face and wiped it on the ground, to which the grass slapped her hand for it. She responded by singing the ground under her and letting out a sigh. "Right. Looks like I need to get out of here on my own." She turned to the mountain she just fell from and started to walk, only to realize something. Wait, since when would following logic in Eris's world actually allow me to leave? It'll probably just lead me somewhere in the closet. Her cries of frustration at trying to figure out which way was the correct path based on the flighty and insane whims of a goddess of chaos rang out, causing many of the active "wildlife" to scurry about. "Well... It's probably wrong no matter where I go... I might as well take the path that won't make me fall for one of her pranks..." She turned and walked towards an extremely Seussian forest, taking one more deep breath to calm her nerves before bracing for whatever lay ahead.
Celestia would see just how maddening things were the more she traversed the forest. Chimeras back home looked more normal compared to some of the flora and fauna, with trees with rubber bark and giggling leaves, or monkeys with lamps for faces. Not to mention that almost all of it was perverted beyond all belief! Her least favorite were these weird suction cup plants that kept darting for her if she got too close. She made good attempts to keep a distance from them as she wandered through the jungle floor. What she wasn't expecting was a sudden and swift crack to the face by a branch landing her right on the ground and clutching her snout.
"Agh!! Freaking... Trees!!! I didn't even touch the-!!"
She looked around and noticed that the plants were all watching her, open pucker mouths drooling a weird, white substance. "U-Uhhh... Nice plants...?" She giggled nervously before they pounced atop her and dove right for her body. "Eeeek!!! B-Back off you weird foliage!!" She formed a small barrier around herself, the plants all suckling at it, but not doing much but "drooling" over it. "Ha! Looks like Eris can't outsmart me yet!!" Tia said with a confident smile right as a vine poked from the dirt and wrapped around her horn, causing the magic to slowly fizzle out. "Oh, come on!!" she yelled as she reached up, only to have more vines wrap around and bind her wrists and ankles to the ground. Within a matter of seconds, the barrier fizzled out and the plants dove back in.
"Wait wait, nooooo!!" She yelped as they quickly made work of her dress, suckling it to scraps and going for her body. Her snow-white face turned a shade of pink as she felt several mouths suckle her body, from her neck to her breasts and down to her toes. She whimpered, trying her best not to be aroused by the feeling of drooling mouths lubricating her body with this white, tingly fluid. She breathed slowly, holding back her mewls of pleasure as her body got warmer and more sensitive. "A-Ahhh... St-Stooop...~" Her back arched slowly as her wriggling got weaker and weaker, but she still didn't stop trying to escape. Then she saw one appear right between her legs.
"H-Huh??" She looked down at a plant moving its suckling mouth down toward her crotch. "Hey, s-stop!! There's nothing down there for yo-OOOOO~!!" Her eyes bulged out as she felt the mouth suckle onto her clit, juices spilling out as her most sensitive spot felt as if it were on the wrong end of a vacuum cleaner. Her back arched as she howled like a monkey in heat, sharp spikes of pure estrus hitting her so hard, she failed to feel the change. It was hard to tell for the orgasm-drunk princess, but she could swear she felt something... Stretching... Her blurry vision could barely look past her chest as it was being suckled on, she could only see the plant moving back, bit by bit before collapsing in a pool of her own fluids and twitching with a goofy smile.
A stirring dizziness, followed by a throbbing of the brain... That's what met Celestia as she awoke. Her vision sill blurred as her eyes cracked open, staring up at the endlessly shifting skies that resembled surrealist paintings rather than the sky. The feeling of pleasure was gone, and a few glances confirmed that it wasn't due to losing her sense of touch. The plants were dead asleep. She slowly stood up, careful not to wake them, but her legs were still numb from lack of use. Who knows how long she was out? It didn't help that her legs kept slapping together-...
Shutting her eyes tight as she left the patch, she reached down and patted her crotch. A thick, veiny appendage jiggled between her legs as she touched it, sending weird sensations through her body. She shook her head, mouthing, "No no no no no..." as her eyes cracked open, looking down to see a thick, flaccid cock and a pair of heavy, weighty balls. She took a slow, deep breath, feeling herself slip into a tranquil state as she walked out of the forest and into what looked like a plains area... Before letting out a scream that shook the cotton candy clouds down, splatting like rotten tomatoes.
"P-P-Penis??" She panicked as she looked at her huge cock and gave it a couple of panicked pokes. "Th-That... No way... It's really..." She took it in her hand and stroked it gently. Doing so caused her legs to buckle as she moaned loudly. "W-What was...?" She muttered as she stroked her cock a bit more. Never before had she felt anything as wonderful as this. Eating the best cake in the world felt subpar compared to this. Even when she was trying to stop, all she could focus on was her astonishing cock.
"H-Haaaah... Th-This is... So dirty..." She breathed out as she spread her legs, stroking faster. "I-I need to... F-Find a way... O... O-OUUUUTTT!!" With a single thrust, she came hard, but rather than thick ropes of seed, sparkly bubbles flew out and floated around. She watched while she panted as they floated in front of her face. She slowly reached out to one...
POP! POP POP!
Before they popped into a cloud of pretty sparkles. Somehow, the princess's head began to feel lighter with each pop. She stared at them with wide eyes and smiled. Something in the back of her mind told her that was wrong, but those thoughts became nothing more than bubbles and sparkles as more spilled from her cock. Eventually, she gave herself a cartoonish slap to snap out of it.
"N-No time for distractions! Princess Celestidiot needs to go and find a way back to her throne!" With that, Celestidiot kept on marching through the chaotic lands.
Princess Celestidiot kept walking for some time, admiring the creativity of Eris's twisted mind. However, she couldn't seem to find anything that looked like a way out. After some time, she found that her stomach was growling. That usually meant something right?
As she stood there and scratched her head, she noticed a number of trees nearby, each of them having a pair of giant juicy peaches. Those fruits bounced up and down, jiggling and squishing for anyone to watch and eat them. Celestidiot's mouth watered, and her stomach growled. That was right! She was hungry! She walked over to the tree and did her best to reach up, but no matter how high she jumped, she couldn't get those booty-ful peaches. She remembered there was a way that farmers took down fruit from trees.
An agonizingly long attempt at thinking, and she had the solution. She turned around and pushed her butt against the tree, slamming her butt into it. It made perfect sense to her, and sure enough, she was rewarded for her genius with a number of juicy fruits that twerked on the ground. She didn't even wait, instead diving down and scarfing the fruits like she hadn't eaten in days.
As Celestidiot savored her meal, her butt was being rewarded with a few extra sizes, slowly stretching her thong until it snapped. It soon reached the point where the slightest wiggle made those cheeks wobble like jelly. Then, as she sat there face down and ass up, an odd drum flew by and found a new person who would play it. It zipped around erratically, Celestidiot not even noticing as it attached just above her tail. The celestial tail in question was soon warping, the shimmering hairs morphing into a drumstick with a big soft handle.
Finally, as the princess finished, she let out a burp which caused the word BURP to fly out of her mouth and land in a nearby soda lake. It was a good meal, but now she had to keep going to find her throne. "Princess Sun Butt needs to return to her subjects!" She proudly walked down the hill she was on, happily humming to the thumping drum beat that played with every step that she made.
How long has Princess Sun Butt been walking? She didn't feel tired, and if she was hungry or thirsty, all she needed to do was stick her head in a lake or eat whatever fell from the sky. It all tasted yummy. Plus, every so often, her stiff cock felt the urge to cum, so she'd stroke and cum out more bubbles. It was such a nice feeling. There was only one thing bothering her.
"I'm booooored!" She shouted as she sat on the blue grass. Walking and cumming was nice, but she wanted more fun things to do. A game to play or a friend to play with. Just something to kill the time as she would find that throne. She thought about how dull it was back in Equestria and rubbed her chin with how she could make it more fun.
Suddenly, she noticed two things next to her: A trumpet and a shiny purple hat. In some part of her mind, she remembered that playing music was always good for coming up with ideas. Plus, the hat looked pretty snazzy.
The moment Sun Butt placed the hat on her head, her eyes widened. Suddenly, her head began to swim with new ideas. Bold ideas. Ideas on how to make Equestria into Fun-questria! They were so overwhelming that her eyes began to swirl around and around in a cacophony of pretty colors.
"Chocolate slide instead of a train... Dildos in every seat... Mandatory crazy hairstyles..." She muttered as she put the trumpet to her mouth and started to blow. Sparkles and colors flew out as she marched forward, and whatever those colors and sparkles hit became whatever her silly mind came up with. The sound mixed with the booty drums perfectly, and every time she took a step, she let out another cum bubble. She didn't even need to stroke it anymore. She didn't even need to think about it. She was doing it all on her own, all because it was fun.
Fun... She thought as she marched towards a funny-looking door. Equestria should be... Fun! Cause I'm... Princess Fun Slut! Princess of Fun! As Princess Fun Slut played her trumpet and got closer to the door, the only thing on her mind was how much fun she planned to have with Eris.
Eris's Closet of Fun-sanity
A Rousing Game of Plunger Darts
Luna stomped down the warped halls of the castle with a grimace on her face. Ever since Princess Celestia started going by Princess Fun Slut, she’d been making decree after decree which everyone was required to obey. Mandatory ban on “un-fun clothes”, all citizens were required to have milky tits that were at minimum DD cup, cocks had to stay erect at all times, chairs were replaced with giant butt mares, and so much more. The most maddening thing was that these were not decrees that could just be ignored. The moment she imposed them, everypony obeyed without question. The only one who wasn’t affected was her as far as she knew, but for what reason, she had no idea.
She did her best to ignore the spiraling hall and the portraits of her sister fucking random mares as she burst through the throne room. Inside, she saw Fun Slut and Eris stroking their huge cocks over two pie pans. Her sister looked over with swirling eyes and a wide smile. “Oh hey, Loonie! Gimme a sec just gotta- O-Ohhhhh~!”
The two futas’ tongues hung out of their mouth as they blasted whipped cream out of their cocks right into the pie pans below. As soon as they finished, Eris giggled. “Welp, that’s a thousand! Time to play!”
“Play…?” Luna looked around then spotted a number of the noblemares now dressed up as slutty clowns. Each one had a smile plastered on their face, dressed in colorful clothes made of rags and in compromising poses. Before she could object, the two began flinging pies at the clown mares. Every hit earned a loud giggle and a “Thank you, Your Hiney-ness!” from the fools, and it wouldn’t be long before they became covered in whipped cream cum.
“Sister, that’s enough!” Luna shouted as she approached. “Why are you doing this?”
Fun Slut looked over, her smile never ceasing. “‘Cause it’s fun, duuuuh~”
Eris giggled and shoved a cream pie into Luna’s hands. “Yeah! Why don’t ya give one a toss?”
“A-Absolutely not!” Luna pushed the pie away. “First off, that came from your dick! Second, I will not humiliate my subjects in such a way!”
“Oh please,” Eris rolled her eyes and pushed the pie back. “We both know that you resented them. Always treating you as a shadow of big sis… Now you can show them who’s REALLY boss~”
Luna faltered a bit as she looked down at the cream pie. She knew Eris was always trying to get into their heads, but the memories of nobles speaking ill of her circled into her mind. She knew Eris was right, that they didn’t like her as much as Celestia, and that this was the perfect opportunity for revenge.
Eris grinned wide as she watched Luna slowly start to succumb to her words. She watched as Luna wound the pie behind her… Then turn and smack the pie right in Eris’s face. “I won’t be tricked that easily, Lady Eris! I’ve resisted this long, and I’ll resist even longer!”
The draconequus stood still for several moments, shocked at the behavior of the princess. When she wiped the cream cum off her face, she was very much not happy. “So, you want to play games with me, do you Luna?” A snap of her fingers caused her closet to appear behind Luna.
“Challenge accepted.”
The closet doors swung open, creating a vacuum that pulled the princess towards it while leaving everypony else perfectly still. Luna tried to stand strong, but the winds only picked up more and more. Soon, Luna fell to the floor, from which she grabbed Fun Slut’s legs.
“Sister! Help me!” She called out to her sister, looking up at the chaos-warped futa alicorn.
“Don’t worry, sis! Eri’s gonna make you soooo much better~!” Fun Slut simply smiled, loosing one foot free before pushing on her forehead with her big toe. “Boop!”
“W-Waaaaaagh!” was all Luna could cry out as she flew into the closet and down the spiraling chaos that never seemed to end.
~~~
How long the Princess of the Night fell for, she couldn’t say. Time seemed to be as meaningless as logic in Eris’s world. All that she knew was that when she landed, she bounced as if the ground were a trampoline. After a few more bounces, her butt tore the ground and got her stuck in a hole. It took a brief moment for the princess to recover and shove herself out of the hole. When she did, she took stock of her surroundings.
She seemed to be in some kind of arena, a place made of candy and sugary treats. Buildings of cake, structures of sweets, it was like she was in a real ornate city that had been abandoned by gingerbread ponies.
“Do you like it, Luna~? It’s my newest creation that I intended to use with Funny… But I think you should crack the bottle on this ship~”
Luna darted her head around, trying to find the source of Eris’s voice. “Show yourself, coward!”
FWOMPH!
“Eeeek!”
Just as she shouted out, something slammed into Luna’s butt and latched on. She looked back and found the source to be a plunger that fit her ass perfectly. Before the princess could even remove it, her dress vanished in a cloud of colorful sparkles.
“Hehehehe…” The cloud of sparkles giggled before it flew onto one of the small buildings nearby. They swirled around and around, bursting out to reveal Eris naked and holding some kind of plunger gun. “You like it? I call it the Kooky Chaos Cannon MK. 1!”
“... What??”
“Well, I wanted to call it the Wabbajack, but someone already had that name occupied.” She leered off to the distance.
Luna stomped her foot and pointed to the chaos queen. “Eris, cease this nonsense, give me my clothes back, and take me back!”
Eris gave a fake pouty face. “Ohhh, sorry Lulu. All three wishes denied. If you want out, you’ll have to play my game~”
Luna’s eyes squinted. “And just what game is that…?”
“Plunger Dart Tag! If you want out, you’ll have to either A) Last the whole round without getting butt darted, or B) Plunger Dart me before I plunger dart you! Three wins, and I’ll let you out and fix everything!”
“Well… That sounds simple enough-”
Buuuut!” Eris held a finger to Luna’s lips. “If you get darted, you’ll be forced to suffer a penalty! We’ll keep this going until you get three wins!”
Luna huffed. “Fine. Hand me one of those plunger things.”
“I told you, it’s the Kooky Chaos Cannon Mk. 1-!”
“Just hand it over!”
“Oh, no no no! With that attitude?” She pointed out towards their fated battlefield. “You’ll need to find it! It’s somewhere out there!”
“Are you kidding me, Eris???”
“That’s the price you pay for not getting into the spirit! Ah! Before I forget…” With a snap of her fingers, the stadium seats became filled with the chaos-corrupted citizens, all bouncing and cheering excitedly. “Can’t have a game without an audience~”
The moment she saw her subjects cheering and laughing at her, Luna covered herself in embarrassment. This… This is just too far! I won’t let her get away with this!
“Eris, stop-!”
“And, Round 1! Begin!”
Eris vanished with another snap of her fingers, leaving Luna all by herself. She looked around nervously before running down the chocolate road. Her eyes scanned for any hint of a Kooky Chaos Cannon, but it was hard to tell from the battleground’s flurry of colors everywhere. In a way, it was making it harder to focus, and her mind felt a bit dizzy from the overpowering scent of sugar. The one thing that she did notice was how much it looked like Canterlot. The buildings, the style, if one squinted and ignored the smell, it was almost a one-for-one copy. She smiled, determined to restore her home back to that peaceful, orderly vibrance.
FWOMPH!
“Ahhh!” She looked back at her rear to find that a plunger had found its mark and landed on a cheek again. Eris stood nearby and laughed at the princess’s misfortune.
“Come on, Luna! That was too easy! I’d expect the Princess of the Night would be good at hiding a bit!”
The crowd laughed, some bouncing on their giant balls and others clapping their tits together. Luna’s cheeks went flush with embarrassment. “F-Fine. Just tell me what the penalty is…”
“Oh, we’ll just start with small ones for the first penalties…” Grabbing the handle, Eris plunged in and out. With every plunge, Luna’s eyes derped and returned to place as she yelped and squealed.
“E-Eris! S-S-S-Stooop! F-Feels weeeeiiird!” Despite saying that, her body reacted by getting hotter with every pump.
Finally, the plunger popped off as Eris gave a triumphant laugh. “Penalty One! Bountiful Badonkadonk!”
“B-Bountiful, what…?” She looked back and then gasped at the result of her penalty. Her ass had quadrupled in size, wobbling with even the slightest of movements. “G-Gah! My royal buttocks! How can I possibly move with these things??”
“Well, you could always sneak around!” Eris laughed as she snapped her fingers. Instantly, Luna crouched down as if trying to stay hidden. Any attempt to stand would lead to nothing more than wasted energy. “In fact, that’s Round 2’s condition! You can now only sneak around! Try and make too much noise, and I’ll find ya!”
“Th-This is ridiculous! I can’t crawl in the dirt like this!”
“It’s not dirt, you dumb fool!” She scooped a handful of the ground and rubbed some of it on Luna’s face. “It’s chocolate cake! Now, enough chatter! Round 2! Begin!”
Before she could object, another snap caused both of the two to teleport. She found herself in some dessert desert, with sugar sand blowing off yellow cake floors and dead chocolate trees and green hard candy cacti. Spotting nearby huts, she slowly snuck her way toward them.
Clap clap clap clap!
She stopped in place. For a moment, she heard the sound of soft slaps nearby. She turned her head back but found nothing there. With a shrug, she began to sneak forward once again.
Clap clap clap clap!
Again, she paused and looked back, this time even faster. Again, there was nothing but the desert landscape blowing in the wind. She could hear the audience laughing.
“I swear, Eris, if this is one of your tricks…” She muttered as she wandered into the hut. The sound of clapping continued to dog her even in here though, and with the smaller room, she could still not find the source. She shook her head and then moved her upper half under a bed to search. “I-I can’t be distracted… I must find the plunger… Cannon thing…”
As she whispered to herself, she heard the sound of the door being kicked in and flying across the room. She yelped and moved up, only to bonk her head on the bed.
FWOMPH!
“GEHEEEE!”
She felt the all too familiar sensation of a plunger hitting her ass, making it wobble around like a water balloon. When she pulled her head out from under the bed, she bore witness to Eris’s smug smile. “Really? You’d think me so cliche as to leave it under a bed?”
Luna looked back, ignoring the sounds of cheering. “Eris, you’ve known where I was the whole time!”
“What? Noooo~ It was actually quite easy to find you! After all, the clap of those ass cheeks gave away your position!”
“W-What are you-?”
SMACK!
“Gyaaaa!”
Luna yelped and leaped up from the smack, but saw that it had resulted in her cheeks wobbling and making soft claps. Her cheeks turned a bright red.
“Y-You didn’t have to prove it like that…”
“True, but that way was more fun! Now for your penalty!”
She could hear the audience cheer as Eris grabbed the plunger and began pumping. Luna’s pathetic squeals and moans rang out while her eyes continued to go crossed. She couldn’t even close her mouth, leading to her tongue hanging out. She didn’t even notice the changes taking effect on her body, as her modest B-cup breasts swelled to C’s, then DD’s.
POP!
By the time Eris stopped, Luna looked down to see she was now sporting a pair of heavy J-cups. Her face went beet red as she grabbed at them to see if they were real. Immediately, she was hit by a loud moan as something dribbled out of her nipples.
“Penalty Two! Mondo Milky Mammaries!!”
“What is this stuff?” Luna muttered as she saw a thick substance come out, one pink and one dark brown. Getting a bit on her fingers, she tasted.
“I-Is this… Cherry and chocolate pudding?”
Eris shrugged. “What? Were you expecting milk to come out?”
“The penalty is called-!”
“Moreover!” Eris interrupted yet again. “You’re soooo slow! Jeez, you could be faster!”
“You’re the one who made me crawl arou-!”
“So this third round will be different! In this round, if you want to go anywhere, you’ll have to run!”
Luna held up her enlarged tits. “How am I supposed to run with-!”
“Round 3! Begin!”
Luna’s eye twitched. “Stop interrupting-!!!”
SNAP!
Again, Luna disappeared, now appearing in some kind of lollipop and candy cane forest.
“... Me.”
The alicorn wanted to scream. She wanted to go nuts and just go on a rampage. However, she knew that doing this wasn’t going to accomplish anything but give away her position. Taking a moment to breathe, she looked around. “There must be some way to figure out where that plunger cannon is…”
After a few moments of looking for any signs that could help her, she sighed and placed her hand on her head. “Why am I trying to apply logic here…? It’s Eris. I should just move in one direction and go that way until I find something…” She cracked her neck and looked around. Actually… This forest seems familiar… Very thick and kind of dark… She thought as she took one step forward…
WOOSH!
And suddenly burst off into a full sprint. “W-Woahoahooooah!” She shouted loudly as she tried to get her legs to stop to no avail. W-What on earth is- Oh wait. I have to run. All the time apparently. Damn you Eris…
She did her best to try and steer herself away from trees and rocks, desperate to not trip and give away her location. Of course, if Eris couldn’t hear her cheeks clapping or her tits swinging freely as she ran, she’d be surprised.
After a while, she didn’t even know for how long she was running. After all, the clock was of no help. All the hands spun in different directions and the numbers changed randomly. All she did know was that, despite some kind of sweet sweat forming across her body, she couldn’t stop. She felt more energized, and a smile almost broke across her face. To be free, running across with no cares, no one to judge her… Citizens were cheering for her as she became a nudist marathoner. Perhaps this isn’t quite as bad as-
Her thoughts stopped as she saw Eris. Her back was turned as she walked away from Luna’s direction, but if she spotted her, she was a goner. Her body took over, slide-diving behind some cake rocks before curling up. Eris looked around, confused. “Weird… I could have sworn I heard cheeks clapping…”
Luna held her breath and looked forward. She didn’t want to be spotted, so went for total silence. Exhaustion started to take over, but soon, she heard the footsteps walking away before soon vanishing. She took a few breaths of sweet air in relief. T-Too close… I guess I can learn to rely on the environment…
As she looked ahead, she noticed a glint on the grass. She stood up quickly. Is… Is that…? If the glint made her question, the bright red suction cup made her believe. She smiled wide, bursting into a sprint towards it. She tried to stop, but her legs seemed to miss the memo and zoomed a good, long distance from the target. She tried again, and again she failed. Over and over, from multiple angles she tried to grab it off the ground but all she earned was making more skid marks in the dirt. She even tried to reach down and run, but this just resulted in her stumbling forward, rolling before smacking her face against rock candy with her ass in the air and her legs still windmilling.
Gaaah…! Why is it so hard to grab it?? I need to- Wait! I could just slide and snatch it! Why didn’t I think of that earlier?? Let me just get up and-!
FWOMPH!
“Gaaaah!!!”
Eris laughed, walking back from where she walked off. “You almost got me there, Loonie~! Good thing you’re a slow learner, huh?”
“Th-That’s not fair! I was so close!” Luna huffed as she stood up.
“Awww, is the pwincess gettin’ all huffy~?” Eris pinched her cheeks, forcing the princess to move away angrily. “You should really just grow up and grow some balls already. In fact, let me help you with the second one~”
Grabbing hold of the plunger, Eris began to pull on the handle back and forth, the pathetic squeals of Luna only matched by the collective masturbation of the audience. This time, she began to feel a heat spreading across her crotch, small at first but getting hotter and hotter with every pump. It was like a forge being blown on with every pump, getting hotter and hotter and melting her senses away. Then, something began to push out more and more before…
POP!
Eris unlatched the plunger, admiring her work. “Very good, very nice. Behold, penalty three! Cock-tacular!!!”
“W-What??” Luna didn’t need an active imagination to know what she meant. Looking down, she found that she had a large cock and balls hanging where her pussy used to reside. It stayed hard, no matter what she tried to do to push it down.
“Oh, don’t fret. If your boner lasts for longer than 4 hours… Then the penalty is working as intended! You should be grateful I didn’t get you a tiny limp one that we can laugh at~”
The audience laughed and stroked at the thought, but Luna stomped her foot. “Fine! I lost, but I’m taking the plunger gun!”
Eris sighed. “You still don’t get the name right… And no. You didn’t grab it, so you gotta find it again.” She prepared to snap her fingers, but Luna’s scowl grew as she dove for the plunger gun.
“You won’t screw me out of this one, Eris!”
SNAP!
When the sparkles settled, Luna was in a new location, this time a crystalline rock candy city. Looking around, she couldn’t help but feel that, like the forest, she’d seen this somewhere…
“So, you want to play dirty…”
Luna looked around for the source of the noise. She still felt the grip of the gun in her hand. “Eris! You won’t stop me now! I have one of your little toys now!”
“Oh?” Eris’s voice sounded much more malicious than before. “How are you going to use it with no ammo~?”
She looked down, and true to the chaos goddess’s word, the gun had no plungers loaded.
“I do not like being made a fool of, Luna. And because you’ve crossed me, not only will you need to find plungers, you’ll need to deal with the other surprise.”
“W-What?? But you’ve been tricking me this whole time!”
“Round 4… Begin.”
“Wait, get back here! I demand an explanation!” And yet, despite her protests, nothing came of it. That left Luna to move with swiftness and silence (or as best as she could, given her new form). She speedily slipped from building to building, hiding behind the rock candy hedges, fences, and benches. Every so often, she’d peek out to try and find any plungers lying around. However, it seemed like her luck was going to be very low as the only thing she found were fully-sized gummy mares, each one frozen in a perverted position with a plastered smile on their face.
Wonderful… Luna thought, ignoring her cock’s plea to stick it into those juicy looking gummy mare pussies. No doubt she’s making this round a lot harder. I’ll have to just stay hidden until she gets bored or I can find some.
As she stepped out, her ears became filled with the sounds of soft thumping. It wasn’t like footsteps. Rather like a rhythmic drum, a synthetic bass that thumped into her brain more and more, making her shake a bit. Of course, she wasn’t the only thing that shook. As the music began to pick up in volume, she heard the sound of cheeks clapping, but not from her this time. Turning around, she saw the gummy mare was no longer inanimate. Rather, she was grabbing onto the kitchen counter, shaking her ass from side to side to the rhythm of the music. Every movement flowed like water, and her body jiggled in a way Luna didn’t think was possible. Soon, she found something equally shocking: Her cock was throbbing to the bass.
“K-Knock it off, you impetuous thing…!” She said to her cock, trying to push it down only to moan at what a little physical contact gave her. Her body shivered and her hips bucked forward in the gummy mare’s direction. Th-This is preposterous! Why would I want to… Put this in that thing…?? She’s food! You don’t… D-Do that with food! … Right?
Even as she tried to convince herself, her body wasn’t having it. It was horny, and there was an ass in front of her asking to get fucked. Her legs shuffled closer and closer, hips moving out and desperate to plug into this candy slut. The feeling of slick, gooey juices hit her cock, making her more and more aroused. Now even she couldn’t justify her abstinence. M-Maybe… Just a little bit…
Schlorp~!
Her eyes widened as she felt the gummy mare’s cunt wrap around her cock. At first, she didn’t know what to do. The pleasure was so intense that she couldn’t even muster a moan. She had sworn that she had cum already. Yet, her cock was still hard, and she still needed to fuck, so her hips began to move back and forth.
“O-Ohhh… Oh my gods…” She panted as she slammed her cock in and out. “Th-This… What is this…?? It’s amazing…! N-Never been able… To Fee… Fuuuh… Fuuuuck~”
She couldn’t even keep herself from swearing. Her mouth went agape in pure bliss as she let her carnal instinct take over. Her fingers dug into the gummy flesh as her thrusts became more ravaging and feral. She huffed and grunted, biting at her neck. The taste was sublime and only drove her to nail her harder. She had forgotten what she was even supposed to be doing anymore. It didn’t matter. Fucking. Cumming. More fucking. That was her brain as she came away her cares and replaced them with mindless bliss.
Soon, she’d poured enough cum to cause her to go limp in body, even as her cock stayed hard. Her wild thrusts became weak little humps, and her panting showed she was mentally exhausted. The only thing in her mind was that distorted music, sounding so mechanical and otherworldly, but leaving her simple brain to want more. The gummy mare, her smile never ceasing, whipped a licorice collar from nowhere and snapped it onto Luna before pushing her off. The princess simply fell to her floor, her eyes blank as a doll’s.
Luna didn’t know where the pretty gummy mare was leading her. All she knew was that she was on all fours, crawling across the rock candy city while her cheeks clapped loudly. She didn’t care. She just wanted more fuck.
Soon, she was led to a new place, one with double doors and a sign with a sexy mare on a pole. She blinked slowly as she entered the dark building. The only thing being lit was a stage where a pole rested and a gummy mare swung to the sound of that dirty, filthy music. It felt so good to hear it, and it felt so good to watch the pretty mares dance…
She was led to the back, forced to put on swirly peppermint pasties, red licorice high heels, and a pink bubblegum thong that snapped right into place. She was picked up onto her feet and pushed out onto the stage, where gummy mares watched in anticipation. Luna didn’t hesitate. She didn’t let thinking bother her. She just followed the music.
She sauntered onto the stage, her heels clicking in time. Her meat swung back and forth, almost hypnotizing the mares watching. Grabbing onto the pole, she swung in a circle, letting everyone get a taste of her beauty. She’d swing her breasts and smack her ass, going lower and lower and moving her body the way the music told her to do it.
Front to back…
Left to right…
Round and round…
Side to side…
Sparse lyrics commanded her movements, thrusting her cock out and spraying mares in cum, shooting pudding out as she shook her tits, and bouncing her ass to the droning beat. She was starting to feel in paradise, like she could be here forever-
FWOMPH!
“W-Waaah!”
With one quick whap, Luna came to her senses and stumbled forward. She looked at her body, tearing off the perverted clothing. That was when she saw Eris, slightly pouty. “I was having so much fun, and then you went and started having more fun than me! No fair!”
“E-Eris! What was the meaning of this??”
“Never you mind! I won, and you lost! Now that I got footage of you being a pervert, I got my revenge! But for your penalty…” With a wicked grin, she began to pump the plunger up and down. Once again, Luna was being reduced to a moronic appearance, but this time with the added benefit of her cock firing loads every so often. It felt like it never seemed to end, especially with the perverted, heavy music droning on and on…
POP!
Finally, she was free. She fell forward while panting before she began looking for any changes. Nothing. Instead, she found herself unable to stop hearing that music in her head. She looked to the DJ, but they long since stopped playing it.
“Enjoy Penalty Four! Earworm Orgy! You loved that music so much, and now it’s in your head forever and ever, giving you all kinds of dirty thoughts with it!”
Luna huffed tiredly, slowly rising up. “Eris… I have played your game for so long… Can I at least have a fair round once?”
Eris looked at the princess, who seemed exhausted from it. She wasn’t even angry anymore, which really kicked the fun out of it. Sighing, she held up her hands ready to snap. “Fine…”
SNAP!
When Luna looked around, she found she was in the center where the four parts of the arena met. In her hand was a Kooky Chaos Cannon Mk. 1, fully loaded, and her body no longer felt exhausted from dancing.
“The final round is simple: A game of hide and seek. All you have to do is pick the correct area that I’m in. I’ll even add an incentive. In order to lose, both of your tits and your buttcheeks must be tagged. You only have to hit me with one dart to any of those spots. I’ll warn you, however. If you choose incorrectly, you’re in for a shocking surprise. And don’t worry, I have a little number to help you.”
“To End this Game, Just Simply Roam,”
“Into the Turf that I Call My Home…”
With that, Luna pondered for a moment. She didn’t know Eris like Celestia, but she remembered when the two hung out a lot. They would always hide in the sands of Somnambula, making… Creative monuments to their desires. She still recalled when they unleashed the Sphinx…
“It must be there…” Luna looked to the desert and quickly moved in. She held her Cannon close, peering through every windowed hut. None of them contained it, and the only one that remained was a windowless sugar sand cake hut. She wasted no time in kicking the door open and pointing. Nothing. Not a single soul.
“Oh no…”
FWOMPH!
“Y-Yeee!” Her left asscheek received a sudden plunger dart from nowhere, making her quickly look back to see who it was. Her eyes widened, startled at the opponent. Not Eris, but Princess Fun Slut, a wide smile on her face.
“Gotcha, sis! Now, hold still so we can play forever!”
“N-Nooope!” She shouted as she burst into a sprint. She darted wildly around in hopes of not getting hit. Luckily, that was the ticket. Her eyes wandered to the next three locations. A-Ahhh! Celestia mentioned something about Discord and Fluttershy being friends, and she lives by the forest! With no second thoughts, she burst through the candy forest.
The princess sprinted around, hoping to find some clues about where she could find Eris. She kept on moving, hoping “Fun Slut” was far enough from her. Eventually, thirst came over her and she knew that she needed to stop at the soda river. Falling to her knees, she cupped soda in her hands and gulped down more and more of that sweet nectar, only stopping to burp out bubbles which floated aimlessly. As she sat relaxed, she looked down at her reflection. Something was… Off about it. It was a different color, and the horn wasn’t as tall, and the mane wasn’t as ethereal. In fact, it looked like…
“Twilight?”
The reflection just smiled and aimed a Kooky Chaos Cannon forward.
SPLASH!
FWOMPH!
“G-Gaaaah!” Luna screamed as she fell onto her back. When she looked down, she found that not only did one of her huge tits get darted, but the reflection slowly rose up to reveal Twilight’s fate. Unlike her sister, who had an even proportion, Twilight was far more bottom-heavy, her thunder thighs shaking with each step. At the same time, her eyes derped with a very stupid grin on her face.
“T-Twilight?” She whispered.
“Twilight” simply gave a deep, dopey laugh. “Nu uh! Me not Twy-lite! Me Dumb Butt, Princess o’... Somethin’! Now, you be Eris friend!”
She aimed right at Luna, but Luna quickly pointed behind Twilight. “Look! A distraction!”
“Where??”
Twilight easily turned with wide, eager eyes, and Luna took advantage by bursting off in the other direction and back to the center. She quickly had to think. It can’t be in the Canterlot area… She hates those stuffy mares…! It has to be a trick. Plus with that… Strip club place… It has to be it!
She took a sharp left turn, avoiding Fun Slut as she tore down the streets. It didn’t take her long to find the strip club, and as she burst through the doors, she found a lot of mares, each one hidden by the dark. She aimed and fired at one.
SPLAT!
A dud. It was a gummy mare, frozen in place. She aimed again. Another splat and dud. She did this over and over, trying to find it, but all of them were simple gummy mares. Another failure, she thought as she stepped out. I better run back to the last one before-
FWOOOOMPH!
Luna didn’t even have time to react. She was flung back as another dart landed right on her other tit. Quickly looking back, she found its source: Cadence, her body looking like some kind of fertility goddess, was right across the street on the roof of a small house. Her eyes were visible as hearts and even Luna could see the juices freely falling between her legs.
“Hiya Auntie!” ‘Cadence’ shouted as she hopped down. “Your favorite Princess Love Cunt is here! Did ya like my gummy mares? I made ‘em myself! I loved all the fucking it took to make them! Speaking of, we should fuck too! Let’s fuck right now, and then let me shoot your other butt!”
Luna panicked and backed away. She couldn’t afford to turn away with an aim that good. She needed a distraction, but looking around proved fruitless. “Ca- I-I mean, Love Cunt, wouldn’t you rather fuck Fun Slut’s big cock? It’s waaay bigger, right?”
“Oh don’t be silly, Loonie~” Fun Slut jumped in, pressing against Luna’s body. “Your cock is super huge and you fuck hard! We all saw it!”
“Huhuhuh, ya~!” Dumb Butt giggled lots and pressed on the other side. “Ya should, like… Get darted ‘n fuck us all!”
Love Cunt giggled. “Lose for us!”
“Lose for us Loonie~!”
“Lose! Lose! Lose!”
“Lose! Lose! Lose!”
“Lose! Lose! Lose!”
“B-But…” Luna hesitated from all the peer pressure. “B-But I don’t want to-!”
FWOMPH!
“... Lose…”
Luna looked back, Eris smiling wide as she held out her Chaos Cannon. “Game over, Loonie the Loser~”
Luna tried to work up the anger she once had, even as her citizens cheered and the other princesses hugged her. “Y-You… You tricked me…! How can you be here? You hate Canterlot!”
“Oh, no no no…” Eris waggled a finger. “I hated old Canterlot. So stuffy and boring and so unsexy… Now, it’s awesome! And with my Funny Sunny by my side…~” She cupped Fun Slut’s chin and kissed her. “I can make everyone see how amazing it is~”
“B-But…”
“But it’s not about us, it’s about you, and your Final Penalty, Sanity Suction!” Eris grabbed hold of one of the plunger handles. “Girls, grab on!”
Each of the chaos-corrupted princesses saluted and grabbed hold of one handle. Luna looked to be in total panic.
“Alright girls, on three!”
“W-Wait!” Luna begged. “I-If you do it all at once, I’ll-!”
“Three!” All three began to pump her tits and ass with great speed and force, and Luna, barely able to contain herself before, was already blasting out cum like a fire hose after a few seconds.
“GUHEEEEE!! BUHOOOOO!! HUUUNNNNNGH!!!” She shouted out unintelligible sounds and groans with each pump, her eyes derping in multiple directions. She couldn’t even recall anything but the music to try and keep her focused. The lewd music, the fun music. It was so fun… Sex is so fun… Her mind slowly took her fracturing sanity and filled the cracks with perversion, but even this wasn’t enough to salvage it.
POP!
She heard the pop, but none of the plungers left her body. They just kept pumping.
POP! POP! POP! POP!
She didn’t know what it was, but those pops felt really good. Ticklish in her brain meats… Little did she know that it was her rationality, her common sense, her orderly mind, all going pop like pretty, sparkly bubbles. Her pupils began to shrink, and her mouth stretched into a wide smile. With nothing left, all she could do was stroke her cock and laugh. Laugh at how fun it all was, to lose her mind.
The plungers popped off one by one, and that left the gooning princess laughing madly at nothing and practically fucking her fist. Eris smiled and turned the princess’s head to look her in the eyes.
“Now… What’s your name, Princess?”
“Geeeehehehehe~! Don’t ya remember, silly?~ I’m Princess Goon Smut! Princess of Porn and Wet Dreams! I’m here to keep everyone getting boners and make sure everypony is sleeping and waking up HORNEEEEHEHEHEHEHE~!”
The crowd cheered as the Princess of the Night was reborn before their eyes. Cum flew into the stadium, filling it to the brim before the sea of white spiraled downwards and landed everyone out of the closet.
“Well, that was fun!” Eris declared as she stood up. “Now, who wants to see who can cum the farthest?~”
“Ooo, me!” Goon Smut and Fun Slut raised their hands in unison, following their new best friend to another chaotically fun activity.
Author's Note
Sorry for the delay! As you can tell, this was a long one. Hopefully it was worth it! It did take a while, but I figure today was the best day to post it as a present to everyone who has been patient and read my stuff for so long! Thank you so much for your support, and I hope you continue to read the weird stuff, both lewd and not lewd!
