Ponies Go to South Park

Ponies Go to South Park
smashedouttamymind + sparkfyre
WARNING: AS FUCKING CLICHE AS IT GETS

"But, Princess Celestia, you can't banish us to the moon!"

"Hmm... you know, I won't banish you to the moon."

"Oh, thank you!" A chorus of gratefulness came up from the six Elements of Harmony.

"I have a better idea."

********

Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were walking down the street toward the Bus Stop when-

Something was falling out of the sky.

"Hey, what the fuck?" Stan asked. "There's a bunch of colorful shit falling from the sky!"

That was when the six recently banished mares crashed into the street. They rubbed their heads and eyes, trying to get a feel for exactly where they were.

"What the hell are those?"

"They kind of look like some asshole spraypainted their dogs and smashed their faces in."

"No... they're horses?"

"Mrph mrph mrph mrph!"

"Kenny, none of us can understand what the hell you're saying."

Kenny leaned closer to Kyle and repeated his statement. Kyle nodded and turned to face Stan and Cartman.

"He says he recognizes them from a show his dad watches."

"Like, a TV show?"

Kenny pulled Kyle closer and whispered something in his ear again.

"He says it's called 'My Little Pony'." Cartman burst out laughing.

"Your dad...." he stopped to catch his breath, "watches My Little Pony? Hahaha! What kind of fag watches My Little Pony?"

Kenny made an indignant noise, but was ignored as the ponies began to walk toward them.

"Hey! Where are we?" A blue one with a rainbow-striped mane asked.

"It speaks English? Bahaha!" Cartman was on his side laughing as Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes. "Guys, what the hell did we smoke?"

The purple one took on a constipated look before sighing. "Girls! My magic doesn't work here!"

"Wait-- you guys are magical? Like, unicorns or some shit?"

"Well... Rarity and I are..."

"What-- really? Oh my god!" Cartman was out of breath, rolling in the street.

"So... are you guys from My Little Pony?" Kyle asked.

Stan answered. "Yeah, they are."

"How would you know?"

"Well... dude, I'm kind of a... a brony? Yeah, I'm a brony." Stan gestured to the blue one. "This is Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie," he continued down the line, "Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy."

"What kind of fucked up names are those?" Cartman called from the street. Kyle turned around.

"Shut up, fatass. I'm Kyle, the one who just introduced you guys is Stan, the asshole in the street is Cartman, and this," gesturing to the boy in the orange hooded sweatshirt, "is Kenny."

"Er... where are we, exactly?"

"South Park?"

"Is that in Equestria? I've never heard of it."

"What the fuck is Equestria?" Kyle asked.

"It's where they came from." Stan turned to the mares. "You see, er, i'm not really sure how to explain this, exactly. If you guys actually exist and I'm not just high, you're from a different dimension or something. In our world... you guys are just a TV show."

Gasps came from the mares.

"We have our own TV show?" Rarity asked, poofing her hair.

"Yeah."

"So we're... stars?"

"Uh... not exactly. You guys are on a TV show for little girls."

"Which Stan watches! Ahaha!" Cartman was still in the street, laughing his ass off. Stan shot him a glare.

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, but she could not seem to lift herself off the ground. "I can't fly here, guys!" Fluttershy flapped hers as well, but to no avail. Just as Twilight's magic had failed, neither of the pegasi could fly. This prompted Rarity to try her horn, also failing.

"Hey Jew! Get your ginger ass over here and help me up!" Cartman called from the street. Kyle rolled his eyes and stayed put.

"Speaking of help... where's Spike?" As soon as she said it, a purple thing came down from the sky, landing right where the others had in the street, right next to Cartman. Cartman rolled over and looked at him."

"C'mere and look at this, guys! It's a fucking purple squirrel!"

Spike looked over. "I'm not a squirrel, silly! I'm a baby dragon! Spike, pleased to mee-"

"AHAHAHA IT TALKS!" Cartman, who had recently finally finished laughing, started up again. Everyone groaned in annoyance.

"Spike!" Twilight rushed over. "Are you okay?"

"Where are we?"

"Some place called South Park. There aren't any ponies here."

"Is this part of the Everfree Forest?"

"No, Spike. We're in an alternate dimension."

"What's that?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Nothing, Spike. C'mon over here and introduce yourself." They walked over to where the five mares and three of the boys were standing. Kyle introduced them once again.

"So, what are you guys gonna do?"

"Well, since I can't use my magic to get us out, I'll have to do some research. In this... place, do you have books I can research from?"

"Why don't you use the internet?"

"What's the internet?"

Stan and Kyle looked to each other and nodded. They walked over to Cartman in the street and pulled him up. The four boys wordlessly led the six mares and the baby dragon to Stan's house a few blocks away, effectively ditching the bus stop and school.

When they got to the driveway, Stan turned around and looked at them.

"Guys... my dad's home today, and like Kenny's dad, he really likes your show... so, uh, he might get a little bit excited when he sees you. Just ignore him; he's an asshole."

"What's an assh-"

"Nothing! Nothing at all, Spike."

The group of eleven walked into Stan's house. Sure enough, Randy was there, flipping some poorly-put together omlettes singing Lady Gaga when he turned around.

"Hey, Stan, home early from- WHOA." He instantly got hard.

"Ra-Rainbow... Rainbow Dash? Twilight Sparkle?"

"Uh, hi?"

"Oh my god, what did I smoke? I am so drunk right now OH MY GOD I AM SO HOR-"

"Dad shut up."

Stan led the way up to his bedroom, the crowd gathering around his computer as he opened the lid. A page instantly loaded up.

RULE 34- PINKIE PIE

Stan shut the laptop down faster than Usain motherfucking Bolt.