Roomies

Chrys hummed happily as she trotted around the kitchenette. Eggs? Check. Toast? Check. Coffee? Brewed.

She pulled out her ‘#1 Queen’ cup and set it by the pot.

There was a click as a very drained Scoots plodded towards the kitchen. She blinked and looked at Chrys. “Shower?” Her voice was hoarse and dry.

“Taken by Star unfortunately. Coffee?” The bugmare asked sweetly.

“Please.” Scoots trotted over and planted her flank on a chair by the dinner table.

Chrys retrieved a cup, and set it by the pot, right as said pot dinged. “Timing.” She levitated the pot only to pause. “Cream? Sugar? Creamer?”

“Seventy-five percent coffee, twenty-five percent creamer, surprise me.” Scoots blinked slowly.

“Right.” The bugmare hummed as she fixed the cup and levitated it to the table.

“Oh-ho-ho yes…” Scoots inhaled the aroma and sighed, taking a sip.

“Happy you like it.” Chrys nodded as she trotted over with her own cup and sat down. “So, how was it.”

“I haven’t been fucked like that since….” Scoots blinked. “Ever.”

“It’s what happens when you attempt to balance out someone that repressed. Backlash. I mean, he’ll be normal in a week or two, just like taking drugs to adjust something like depression, but he’s gonna be kinda on the opposite end at the moment.” Chrys sipped her coffee. “I apologize in advance. Might need to borrow him when he’s lucid enough to cast, just so he can have something to balance out the actual balancing.”

“And while you do, I’ll enjoy his new found freedom.” Scoots grinned.

“Oh, just in case, I did throw in a spell, on the off chance he fucked you, so you wouldn’t get preggers.” Chrys pointed at her. “How much of a monster was he, by the way?”

“Stomach’s full and so is my womb.” Scoots hummed.

“Knowing him, and the massive post-nut clarity he’s going to have,” Chrys rolled her eyes. “He’ll probably come out confused, and apologise. Give him half an hour-”

There was a groan from Weave’s bedroom.

“And never mind, he’s up.” Chrys took another sip. “Happy New Year!” She called out.

There was a yelp from the hallway. Moments later, a dripping Star stormed from the bathroom. “Fuckin’ Weave and not allowing me proper time to-” Star’s door slammed.

“Weave limits Star’s showers to half an hour.” Chrys commented.

“And… how much of that time is cleaning?” Scoots asked.

“About ten minutes soaking, ten minutes of cleaning, and another ten minutes of, ahem, private time.” Chrys rolled her eyes. “Like she ever leaves her room unless it’s to attempt socializing.”

Weave slowly walked into the kitchen, wincing as he sat at the bar. “Coffee,” he asked/commanded. “I need it.”

Chrys rolled her eyes and fixed a third cup and levitated it to the stallion. “How’re you feelin?”

“Sore,” he admitted, not looking towards Scootaloo. “Liberated. Tired. Free. How did I live like this before?”

“Quite peacefully.” Chrys replied.

Scoots trotted up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Stealing the shower.” She mentioned, then trotted off down the hallway.

“I’m sorry. I kinda feel like I pushed it on you.” Chrys sighed. “I panicked.”

“It’s not that bad,” the stallion commented, sipping his coffee. “It’s just hard getting used to having boners again.”

“Weave, those are normal. They happen and aren’t anything to be nervous about.” Chrys swiveled her chair around.

“Yeah, well after living with Star for a year I sort of grew numb to the idea.” The stallion rolled his eyes. “Honestly, that mare. I could write a book about her.”

“On that note, I had a thought.” Chrys hummed, tapping her chin with a hoof. “If not rehabilitate her fully, why not go meet somepony, see if they actually know her. Ya know the name Sunburst?”

“Not off the top of my head,” Weave replied. “Why?”

“You seriously don’t hear Star scream that name when she has a particularly explosive… hmmmph… release, the one, two, every time she doesn’t waste time in the shower?” Chrys raised a brow. “Or have you just tuned it out at this point?”

“Probably the latter,” Weave admitted. “Like the boners.”

“Like the one you’re sporting?” Chrys pointed, sipping from her cup.

“...That has nothing to do with Scoot’s flank,” the stallion tried to deny.

“Right, just like you don’t want to go join her in the shower.” Chrys raised a brow.

“Nope. Nuh-uh,” the stallion shook his head. “Nothing doing.”

“Okay.” Chrys shrugged. “If you’re sure. You can definitely ignore it.”

“That I can,” the stallion nodded. “Okay. So…” He tried to think of a normal topic. “Ummm...what’re your plans for today, Chrys?”

“Going out. Maybe get lunch. Maybe ask Lyra and Bon Bon on a date?” Chrys blushed and chugged her coffee.

“Sounds like a plan,” the stallion agreed with a smile.

“Yep! Yepyepyep. Everything’s going to great!” She grinned nervously.

“Chrys,” the stallion deadpanned. “It’s just a date. It’s not like you’re planning on doing anything else, right?”

“Of course not!” Chrys yelped. “I… just… don’t know how to act like a normal pony...”

“If you knew how to act like a normal pony, I’d be shocked,” the stallion pointed out. “You’re a changeling queen. Don’t act like one of us. Act like you. See if that works.”

“The last time I did that, Twilight shot me.” Chrys blinked. “B-but that’s the old me. I-I can just act like I’m hanging out with you. That would work. Just… everything’s chill, and relaxed, and there’s nothing to worry about.” She sighed, smiling. “Thanks Weave!”

“See, nothing to it,” the stallion replied. “Just relax. As long as you’re comfortable, that’s what matters. It’s just a test to see how well you get along, after all. If you mess up, it’s not a big deal. Just try again.”

“Right!” Chrys got up from her chair and set herself, puffing out her chest. “I can do this! I am going to go out there and ask those mares on a date!”

“That’s the spirit!” Weave praised her.

Chrys confidently trotted towards the door. “Wish me luck!” With that she threw the door open, trotted out and.. Politely shut it quietly behind her.

“Welp, that’s the healthy mare out the door,” the stallion hummed. “Now all I have to worry about is-”

“That’s a rather impressive boner you got there.” Star deadpanned from the kitchenette. “Chrys work some of her mojo so you could poke the pretty mare in the shower?”

“Yes, because living with you for a year killed my sex drive to begin with, because the court would have fined me more than it was worth to house the pair of you if I fucked either of you,” the stallion deadpanned.

“Whatever. I’m fine by myself.” Star grumbled.

“Oh, sure you are, miss masturbates on my bed and in my shower,” the stallion snarked. “You need to get that stick out of your plot before you get laid. Well, I say stick, it’s more like an entire tree.”

“I-I…” Star looked almost… hurt. Then she glared and snorted at the stallion. “I’ll be in my room.” The mare started for her room.

Scoots trotted past her, the last few drops of water clinging to her mane. “What’s her deal?”

“...Might’ve gone too far,” the stallion admitted. “But she needs to realize the things she does affects ponies other than herself. That’s kinda the entire point.”

“So, maybe shove her face in it enough until she either snaps or breaks down?” Scoots raised a brow.

“I could do that, but she’d probably fight back. Unless I slap a mark eight magi-lock on her horn and have Chrys hold her down,” the stallion hummed. “That could work.”

“Ooooo! Aggressive intervention.” Scoots snorted a laugh. “Lemme know if you need something to keep her hooves or horn in pla- Wait…” She hummed. “What if I integrated a magi-lock into a conical mechanism that, every time she tried to cast, would just reconfigure and reset the lock and strengthen the magical matrix in charge of the enchantment. Like a one-hundred percent anti-magic cone that goes over the unicorn’s horn. Leaves no chance for lock burnout because the unicorn themself is unintentionally powering the mechanism… Ooooo… and it won’t come off because it’s tied to the unicorn’s magical signature! That could work!”

“Make it, bring the prototype here, I’ll enchant it, pass it to Chrysalis, and she can slap it on Starlight and we can both give her a tongue lashing,” the stallion replied. Not like he actually expected Scoots to do it. It was a nice fantasy though.

“Gimme like, half an hour, I can make a working prototype and upgrade it as I go.” Scoots glanced at him. “And don’t think I didn’t see that dick twitch when I started babbling.” She smirked. “You don’t touch it and when I’m back we can make wonderful machinery together, as well as maybe have a few more romps in your room.”

“I still need to clean- no, burn those sheets,” the stallion muttered.

“Great! You housekeep, and I’ll go get my stuff!” She leaned in and kissed his cheek, before racing to his door. “See you soon!”

“...She realizes I wasn’t serious, right?” the stallion asked himself.

Chrys trotted through town. She tried to keep her smile on, yet, she was very aware of the looks she was getting. She’d trotted through town tons of times. Just… not as herself…

She quickly shook away the mounting panic.

Everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

She took a breath and rounded the corner. Good! Bon Bon’s Sweets was closed! At least… she hoped that that was a good thing.

She knew that their actual home was behind the shop. Thus she trotted around the back and knocked on the door she found.

“I got it!” A voice called out.

Chrys steadied herself with a breath and sat on her haunches.

The door opened and a mint-green mare poked her head out. Her golden eyes widened. “Bonnie… I think it’s for you…”

“Hi-”

The door slammed.

“Lyra! Don’t slam the door!” A second voice sighed. “Who was it?”

“Changeling Queen!” ‘Lyra’ squeaked.

Chrys felt a sick chill roll into her stomach.

“What?!”

The door flew open and a cream colored mare with a blue and pink mane in a bun stared at Chrys.

“H-Hello… I-I was just won-”

“Listen here, you!” The mare thrust a hoof in her face. There was a burst of flame and a changeling drone stared back at her “We want nothing to do with you! I am fine on my own and I do not need to go back to a Hive! I have a lovely mare who loves me, and if I ever see you here again I’ll snap that twisted horn right off your head.”

Chrys blinked back tears. “O-Okay.” She sniffed standing up. “I-I’m sorry f-for interrupting your d-day. You… You won’t see me again…” Chrys turned around and trotted away.

Chrys rounded the corner to the front of the sweet shop and almost broke down right there. Her eyes burned. She felt sick.

She trotted out into the road, choked back a sob, and started towards the market.

She needed ice cream. Lots of ice cream.

She didn’t pay attention to much as she trudged through the streets, her mane hung low over her head.

“Chrys?” A voice spoke up.

Chrys paused to look up. Twilight Sparkle was staring at her.

Chrys heaved a breath and put on her best smile. One she could manage at least. “Twilight! H-hi! Fancy seeing at the market.”

“I’m just doing a little shopping- you okay?” The purple mare tilted her head to the side in concern.

“Oh, pfft, I’m fine.” Chrys grinned weakly. “I-I just got turned down for a date pretty harshly it’s no problem, I actually have another option set up just in case.”

“I’m sorry to hear then. But I’m so glad that you have options and are actually getting out there!” Twilight beamed.

“Heh heh. Yeah…” Chrys spied a white unicorn mare, with an electric blue mane and violet shades totting next to a gray earth pony mare, with a charcoal mane and violet eyes. “I-in fact there they are now! See ya Twilight!” Chrysalis raced off to trot up between them. “I am s-so sorry, I j-just needed to get away from Twilight S-Sparkle.” Her barely contained tears, as well as the shake in her voice was back with full force. “I-I just need t-to g-get a-away so I can get home… alone…”

“Oh goodness, dear, are you alright?” The charcoal mare asked, in a posh Upper-Canterlot accent.

“Octy, she looks somewhere between vomiting and sobbing, she’s not alright.” The white mare’s shades were gripped in a red light as they were moved to sit on the mare’s horn, also revealing dark red eyes. “She looks like she’s dying inside.” The mare’s voice was strangely gravelly.

“Vinyl! I was being nice!” ‘Octy’ snapped at the white mare then returned her gaze to the queen. “Dear, come have a sit down, you look dead on your hooves.”

“I-I d-don’t want to r-ruin your d-day.” Chrys choked as Octy guided the bugmare to a bench. “R-really. I-it’s fine.”

“You’re really not.” ‘Vinyl’ mentioned as she and Octy sat on either side of the queen.

‘N-no… I-I’m not…” She held back a moment longer before bursting into tears.

“Oh there, there.” Octy patted her shell. “I-It can’t be that bad…”

“I-I ju-just wanted t-to ask Bon Bon and Lyra out on a da-ha-hate…” The bugmare sobbed. “Ly-Lyra got s-spooked and B-Bon Bon was a changeling and- s-said she’d did w-want anyth-thing to d-do with m-me… And- and Bon Bon thra-threatened to b-break m-my ho-hor-horn… I-I dun wanna be al-o-ho-hone….”

“Nope. It’s bad.” Vinyl commented.

“Vinyl! Not helping!” Octy hissed.

“Shhhh…. It’s going to be alright.” Octy soothed. “What’s your name?”

“Chr-Chrys…” Chrys managed after heaving a hiccuping breath.

“Like Queen Chrysalis? The queen who was being reformed?” Vinyl asked.

Here it came. Chrys readied herse-

“Holy shit. Awesome!” Vinyl gasped.

Chrys blinked. “Wut.”

“Octy! OctyOctyOcty! We hit the jackpot! Imagine all the cool stuff she can do! And you know she’s probably freaky in the bedroom!” Vinyl babbled much to the confusion of the queen and the annoyance of the earth mare.

“Vinyl!” Octy snapped. “She. Is. Right. Here! Could you please not treat her like your most recent purchase! She’s not a toy, she’s a hurting mare and shoving her in the bedroom won’t just suddenly fix everything!” She hissed then looked at Chrys. “I am so sorry about her, she tends to speak before thinking.”

“It’sal’right.” Chrys sniffled. “I… was expecting a-a different reaction.”

“What, like, Oh a changeling gross. Fuck that, you’re awesome. I’ve read the books Twilight has wrote about you.” Vinyl nudged her. “Yes, Octy, I do actually read.” She gave a small smirk to the gray mare. “You’re off parole in like a week right?”

“I- Yes?” Chrys blinked.

“I… may have been keeping track, because Octy’s a prude and needs a nice, sexy queen to help pull the stick out of her plot.” Vinyl snickered. “And I think you’re pretty good lookin too.”

“Vinyl, were we going to court her, we would actually need to sit her down and have a reasonable chat like the adults we are.” Octy rolled her eyes.

“I’m… What?” Chrys blinked.

“You’re a Wizard Hairy.” Vinyl smirked at the bugmare.

“I’m a wot?” Chrys blinked again.

“Vinyl, for pete’s sake, be serious.” Octy face-hoofed. “I am so sorry Chrys.” She groaned. “Weeks of planning, gone. Thank you Vinyl.”

“You’re welcome.” Vinyl smirked smuggly at the mare. “Say, Chrys wanna come back to our place?”

“I-I p-probably shouldn’t.” Chrys gulped with a blush.

“Vinyl, we are not starting this courting by having sex!” Octy snapped.

“But it’d be fun tho.” Vinyl pointed at her.

Octy slapped the hoof away. “We are going to do this properly!” She looked up at Chrys. “Would you like to go to lunch with us?”

“Then come back to our place for freaky-” A hoof smacked the back of Vinyl’s head.

“Y-Yes…” Chrys nodded, suppressing a giggle as a hint of a smile finally returned to her face. “I-I’d like that.”

“Wonderful! We were heading to Le Grande’s, care to join us?” Octy asked.

“I’d love to.” Chrys beamed.

“Nice! You know you might have a point here Octy.” Vinyl grinned as she reset her shades back on her muzzle as she got up.

Chrys nodded and got up as Octy did.

“Of course I do Vinyl, it’s just that you rarely listen to me.” Octy sighed as the three started along the road.

The white mare grinned. “You get through to me eventually. You always do.”

Weave sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time. It had been a while since he felt this...normal. Was this how he was supposed to feel about mares? It was kinda...embarrassing.

There was a knock on the door. “Housekeeping.”

Weave got up from the couch and walked over to the front door, cracking it open to see who was on the other side.

Scoots waved. She had a pair of very stuffed saddlebags on. Various metal parts and blue pages were hanging out. “Hey Stud, care to let a girl come inside?”

“Sure, why not,” the stallion rolled his eyes, opening the door more fully and letting the pegasus inside.

“Thank-” She blinked as she stepped inside and shut the door. “Been working out or are you just happy to see me?” She grinned at him.

“Huh?” the stallion blinked at her. “I’ve mostly been sorting out my own feelings. They’re...confusing.”

“Oh… Well, before we do any kinda work, wanna talk about it?” Scoots asked. “I promise not to make many jokes, you get enough abuse from Star as it is.”

“No no, it’s fine, my mind focuses better on technical stuff than the fine details anyways.” The stallion urged her inside and made sure the coffee table was clear in the living room. “Let’s see what you’ve come up with.”

Scoots shrugged her bags off with a thud as she sat down and started shifting through the bags. “So…” She set a blueprint on the table and unrolled it. “Here’s the design. Aaaaand… Here’s the prototype.” She set down a metal cone. She settled onto her haunches and picked it up. “So it has a latch here.” She hit a button and the cone split, being held together with a latch. There was an indent on the inside. “So you open it to put a ring in, then you latch it closed.” She closed it with a click. “Then you put it on a horn.” She plopped the metal device over Weave’s horn. “Obviously ineffective right now. Probably needs a ring, of whatever Mark you choose, and the accompanying spellwork.” She gestured to the blueprints. “I wrote down my earlier thoughts here to help in your spellwork.” She hummed, tapping her chin. “You know, if this works, we could sell it to the Crown for use against unicorn prisoners. Maybe modify pieces of gear depending on what race needs restraining?”

“Could work for that,” the stallion agreed, going over the blueprints. “Hmm. This is actually pretty clever mechanical work here, and the spells to make it self-correcting in my spell will probably only improve your device. I think that together they’d be something like a mark 9. Something that Star can’t break out of at her current skill level.”

Scoots nodded. “And, since it only requires a ring, then any upgraded Marks can just be put inside the device as you produce them.”

“Oh boy,” the stallion chuckled. “Well this promises to be one bad day for Star. Okay, two seconds.” His magic found an untarnished silver ring that he kept plenty of lying around, bringing it to his face. With a look of concentration, a beam of green light carved the runes into the loop of silver, before he nodded once. “Done,” he said. “Mark eight ring.”

Scoots pulled the cone off his head. “Care to add your spellwork to this?”

“Hmm…” the stallion looked the cone over a few times. “I think I could add a few things,” he admitted. “Let’s see…” His horn lit up a fainter green as he traced a few symbols into the device. “Efficiency and containment, mainly,” he explained. “There’s not much I can do to help the genius bit of engineering you did here.”

“Oh pfft… It’s not that much.” Scoots waved a hoof as she blushed.

“Seriously, it’s like a spell made mechanical, it’s that good,” the stallion pointed out. “Okay, open it up and let’s pop the ring in. If it starts talking at us though, I’m throwing anti-magic at it until it’s dead.”

Scoots rolled her eyes poked the latch, and opened it. She slid the ring in and flicked it closed, then pressed the latch again. “Oh, and since this is a prototype, only I can open the latch.”

“...That would make taking it off when I’m done teaching Star a lesson much harder,” the stallion pointed out.

“True.” Scoots nodded. “Soooo what do you wanna do now that we’ve made a technomagic baby? Wanna make a real one?” She winked with a smirk. “Just joking, you’re probably not in the moo-”

“I am semi-constantly horny now,” the stallion pointed out, shifting his hind legs a bit. “The only reason I didn’t jump you is because you promised a second date first.”

“And what was this?” Scoots tapped the metallic cone.

“...I was expecting lunch or something,” Weave admitted.

“Well, we could go to lunch if you want.” Scoots smiled. “Would make up for that terrible thing we had as a first date.”

“Fair point,” the stallion agreed. “Nothing fancy though. I just want something to keep me going. I hear there’s a good pizza place in town.”

“Ooooo! Pizza!” Scoots’s eyes sparkled. Then she glanced at his crossed legs. “Want a little time to calm down first?”

“It’s fine, I’m sure this will go down eventual-”

“A shaft that thick would take a bit. I swear my back legs are still tingling. I could help you out there.” She winked. “If you want to. Other option is, pretend it doesn’t exist and go get pizza, while flaunting your endowment and the mare who’s getting it.”

Weave had a choice to make. It wasn’t a hard one. His horn lit up, put the magical restrainer carefully to one side…

Before Scootaloo was flipped onto the coffee table on her back as her stallion reared up and prepared to break some furniture with her.

“And getting it, she is!”

“And getting it, I am.” Vinyl grinned, looking up from the menu.

“So, a Kaisar Salad for the Lady, A Meatball Alfredo, and a side order of garlic breadsticks for the Queen, and a” The waiter sighed. “Double order of Garlic Bread for… you.” The waiter deadpanned at the white mare.

“Sounds right to me.” Vinyl grinned happily.

“Very well, ladies, I will put your order in.” The waiter bowed and trotted back into the restaurant.

The three sat on the patio, even had the patio to themselves.

“You sure me eating meat doesn’t bother you?” Chrys asked, magically adjusting her place setting.

“Chrys.” Octy put a hoof on Chrys’s hoof. “You don’t have to be nervous. We’re not going to judge you.”

“Do you want me to be brutally honest?” Chrys sighed.

“Of course dear.” Octy nodded.

“I haven’t done the relationship thing for a long time. I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’m shocked and a little overwhelmed at being accepted so… well… quickly.”

“Why?” Vinyl asked, trying to balance a spoon on her water glass. “You’re kinda awesome.”

“But… How?” Chrys asked. “I mean, look at me.” She raised a leg with a few prominent holes.

“I bet you could fit a few dicks through there.” Vinyl commented.

“Vinyl if you weren’t across the table I’d slap you!” Octy groaned running a hoof down her face.

Chrys glanced from Octy, to Vinyl. Then she reached out and clocked the white mare upside the head.

“Gah!” Vinyl yelped.

“I’m sorry! Was that too hard?! I only did it cause Octy couldn’t!” Chrys immediately shrank back into her seat.

“You’re good.” Vinyl shook her head.

“Chrys dear, you really need to relax…” Octy shot a glare at Vinyl. “No.”

“Awww…” Vinyl pouted.

Octy took Chrys’s hoof. “Dear you are lovely, holes and all.”

Chrys blushed. “I-I don’t know about that.”

“It’s really true. Especially your eyes. And your voice. I wouldn’t mind hearing you read me poetry.” Octy smiled at the bugmare.

“Stand a-and unfold yourself. Long live th-the king…” Chrys managed to get out.

“Whoa, Chrys know Razorback?” Vinyl raised a brow.

“I had a lot of time when I was home bound.” Chrys blushed. “I like Hal’bard.”

“Vinyl, idea.” Octy glanced over at the white mare.

“Huh?” Vinyl adjusted her shades.

“Say we have Chrys recite Hal’bard over one of your EPs?” Octy smiled.

“Oh huh… Wait…” Vinyl blinked.

“Are you offering me a job?” Chrys blinked.

“I think Octy’s onto something.” Vinyl hummed. “Know any more?”

Chrys hummed. “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

“Oh, wonderful choice.” Octy hummed.

“So, great idea. But moving away from potential awesomeness.” Vinyl spoke up. “Chrys, what is your current job?”

“I’ve had more than a few, but currently I’m a bouncer at The Drunken Grape.” Chrys said with a hum.

“Well that must be quite exciting.” Octy smiled.

“It helps that I don’t really have to do much to intimidate people.” Chrys chuckled.

“Bonus!” Vinyl grinned. “Have any cool stories?”

“Not… really?” Chrys blinked. “I mean there’s the occasional drunk stallion who gets too hoovesy. All I really do is throw them out.”

“How far have you yeeted a pony?” Vinyl bounced in her chair.

“How far have- What?” Chrys tilted her head to the side.

“Ugh, Vinyl, yeet is not a word.” Octy shook her head.

“Yes it is!” Vinyl pointed a hoof at the gray mare. “Yeet. Noun or Verb. To shoot or throw an object or person a great distance!”

“So…” Chrys hummed. “... I don’t get it.”

“I don’t get half of the words that come out of that mare’s mouth.” Octy groaned rubbing her temples with her forehooves.

There was a clopping of hooves on stone.

“Ladies! Who had the salad?” A waitress asked as she levitated a large bowl filled with salad.

“Oh wonderful, a distraction.” Octy sighed. “That would be me.”

“And the Meatball Alfredo with breadsticks?”

“Here.” Chrys gently pulled the plates from the mare’s magical grip.

“And that must mean-” The mare froze as her eyes fell on Vinyl.

“Oh… Oh Celestia… You’re DJ Pon-3!” The mare gasped.

“Nice! A fan!” Vinyl grinned. Pulling four baskets of bread off the waitress’s tray.

“Great. A fan.” Octy rolled her eyes.

Chrys glanced around at the mares. “Wait, what’d she call Vinyl?”

“Ya know, it might not be the best pizza in town, but the fact that it’s a buffet with dozens of types is kinda amazing. I can let my inner fat mare out.” Scoots chuckled as she slumped in the booth across from Weave and chomped down on a slice taken from her personal pile.

“A-men,” Weave nodded as well, having assembled his own pizza from many types of them. “Great fuel to keep the body going late into the night when working on spells, or just unwinding.”

“Ooooohhhh… Date idea.” She managed to say through chewing.

Weave poked his ears up as he stacked two pieces on top of each other and ate them at the same time.

“Don’t you flirt with me like that!” Scoots pointed a hoof at him. “So! We get a bunch of pizzas, probably from here because they’re cheap. We kicked back at your place, maybe play some Minecraft, or something else co-op, or even throw on a movie, and we just… chill.”

“Chill?” the stallion asked, raising a brow at her. “Why do I get connotations when you say that word?”

Scoots blinked. “You know, I didn’t mean it that way, but if you want to make it pizza, movies, and rutting, then that’s fine by me.”

“...Honestly not sure which option I like more,” the stallion admitted.

“Wanna grab some pizzas and head back to your place? Or my place?” Scoots asked.

“If you want to,” the stallion replied with a shrug. “I think there’s some new movies available for me to look through. We could find something cheesy and bad to watch and comment over.”

“Oh the best kind.” Scoots pointed at him. “I did not hit her! It’s bullshit! I did not. Oh, hi Quill.”

“He belongs to the world. Oh, I knew that. Totally not an alien. Totally not going to lay my eggs in your chest cavity later.” Weave quoted back. “May not be the right one, but I’ve watched so much it all blends together.”

“You. Me. Pizza. Movies. Sex. My place. Now.” Scoots stared at him.

“Sounds like a plan,” Weave agreed.

“Well that was wonderful.” Octy sighed, getting up from the table.

“And I have leftovers.” Vinyl levitated her boxes of excess bread.

“This was really nice, you didn’t have to treat me though.” Chrys smiled, joining the pair.

“Of course we did, what with how much of a wreck you were earlier.” Vinyl nudged her leg.

“Vinyl!” Octy hissed.

“It’s fine.” Chrys nodded. “I’m much better.”

“Wonderful dear.” Octy nodded.

“Wanna do this again sometime?” Vinyl asked. “And do you wanna come back to-”

Both Octy and Chrys swatted the white mare.

“Thanks, but I should probably head home. Who knows what Star is up to, and I wanna hear what Weave and Scoots have been up to.” Chrys smiled.

“Understandable.” Octy nodded.

“Here’s our address, you know, if you wanna come by sometime.” Vinyl levitated out a piece of paper.

Chrys took it in her own and smiled. She glanced between the two of them, then quickly leaned in to kiss each one on the cheek. “Th-thanks again.” She giggled, blushing madly as she took a step back. Her wings popped out, buzzed, and she took off with a silly grin on her face.

The pair watched her go.

“She totally wanted to smash.” Vinyl smirked.

“Dammit Vinyl.” Octy sighed.

Meanwhile the other couple were trotting through town. Scoots grinned in anticipation as Weave levitated a few pizza boxes between the pair.

Scoots’s face suddenly fell as her eyes widened. She stopped walking.

“Something the matter?” the unicorn asked.

“We left my gear, and blueprints, and prototype anti-unicorn cone back at your place.” Scoots said flatly.

“Ah,” Weave nodded. “Could be a problem. But what’s the likelihood someone will clamp it onto their horn?”

“I’m more worried that we left it in the apartment with Star of all mares.” Scoots frowned. “She can’t fuck with your spellwork, right?”

“Considering how long it’d take her to undo? Nope,” the stallion shook his head. “Plus I made it to defend itself against Star.”

“So… we could come back to your place later with Star having it on her horn?” Scoots asked.

“Plausible,” the stallion admitted. “In which case, it’d have already happened, and we’d be losing out on good bad movie time and pizza by going back already.”

“Point.” Scoots commented. “Well then. To my place!”

Her place ended up being a loft above her garage/workshop. An apartment with a bathroom, living room, small corner kitchenette, a single two-door closet, and a rather spacious bedroom. The stairs up from her garage lead to the living room. Which was cozy. It mainly consisted of a large black couch, a central square coffee table, a quite large entertainment center, and doors that lead to the bathroom, bedroom, and closet.

“Well, here it is. Sorry about the mess downstairs. Ummm can I get you anything?” Scoots rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “Sorry, I haven’t really had any guys over in… awhile.”

“Hey, you should see my place after Star’s done trashing it,” the stallion joked. “Also, some drinks to go with all this food would probably be a good idea.”

She trotted over to the kitchenette, opened her fridge, and ducked her head into the fridge. Her tail softly swished from side to side as she looked. “Got… mostly soda… in cans.”

“Soda’s good,” Weave commented, taking the pizzas towards the entertainment center and stacking them on the table.

Scoots trotted over and stuck three twelve-packs on the table. “Mister Pepper, Mountain Stream, and cream soda. Right, and I got some whiskey in the closet.”

“Let’s save drinking for later,” the stallion commented. “Okay, so, bad movies. What’ve we got around?”

Scoots trotted over and tugged the doors to either side. From left to right, in columns were: video games divided by console, movies divided up by genre, A couple shelves devoted to alcohol, and what looked like a plastic tote filled with Legos. “Let’s get it over with. Shame me now. I’m a nerd at heart. Dash would be so embarrassed.”

“And what do you think a unicorn that spends all day coming up with new spell ideas is?” Weave asked from the couch.

“Eh, true.” Scoots turned back to the closet. “What you in the mood for? So bad it’s good, just bad, dumb action movies, awesome action movies… Anything catch your-” She gasped and tugged a few DVDs free. “White King’s Sleepwalker, The Room, Doom, yes, the one with Bulk Rock, and Maretol Kombat Annihilation.”

“Pfft,” the stallion snorted. “Okay, some of those are just awful, but let’s go with Doom.”

Scoots slid three back into place and trotted over to the TV. She popped Doom into the DVD player and poked the TV to switch the input. Trotting over to the table, she flipped a box open. “It’s never a good sign when the one good part of the movie is the part blatantly made to look like the old game.” She plopped down next to Weave.

“Mhm,” the stallion nodded, levitating a pizza slice out. “Honestly, their attempts at making the demons was great. Maybe we should ask Tartarus what they think of their special effects.”

“Yeah…. I’d just as soon replay Fatal Frame Two.” Scoots shuddered as she hit play.

A stallion’s face popped up on the TV.

“Seriously, watch how many times he blinks. You make a drinking game out of it you’d be dead within a minute.” Scoots gestured at the TV and stuffed pizza in her mouth.

“Also, while part of me wants to scream ‘that’s not how teleporting works’, we’ve never tried to make a mechanical device to teleport before,” Weave admitted. “Any unicorn can tell you there’s like five layers of safety between charging and going anywhere.”

“It’s like that this thing literally just finds a point and throws a power at it.” Scoots snorted. “And of course they couldn’t just make a portal to Tartarus on Equis, no, it had to be on Vulcan. And yes, I know the games did that too. On that note, fuck, I kinda feel worried that playing the twenty-sixteen version made me wet when I murdered demons. Also, I never knew I could love the auditory violence that was the soundtrack, you played that version of Doom, right? Oh, and sorry if I’m babbling.”

“I know a new challenge I want you to try,” the stallion teased. “Doom: Getting fucked edition. Every time you win a battle, you get ten seconds of sex.”

Scoots looked over at him slowly. “Marry me.” She snorted. “But no, I. Would. Love that. Oh, switch off the player every level, you pound me doggy, then I get to ride you, and back and forth till we beat the game. Huh, also tangent. There’s this vibe that vibrates in time with the music that the dongle is attached to. Play BFG Division.”

“...Pretty sure you’d destroy yourself on it,” the stallion commented. “Hmm. We’ll have to come up with bonuses and penalties if we do well or lose.”

“Mmmmm true.” Scoots looked at the TV while chomping down on another bite. “See, Bulk Rock isn’t bad, neither is Urban Warfare, but the others are so bland. It’s like the creators thought. Hey! Let’s put this video game franchise and Predator in a blender.”

“Yeah, the movie really starts picking up when they realize ‘oh shit, there are demons running around,’” Weave agreed. “And still we don’t really see some of the mainline demons in it. Where’s our summoner, our imps, our barons of hell? Nah, just random fucking infectors and Pinkie demons, that’ll tide them over.”

“Pinkie’s already a demon.” Scoots giggled. “Oh, thought. Start a franchise, like Jojo, only make it follow Bucky Blaster and follow the family line to the fucking Doom Slayer.”

“Not impossible,” the stallion commented. “We never do get to know what happened to the guy after he was stabbed in the back. Maybe he fought his way out again and started a family somewhere when he couldn’t build a ship to get back to Vulcan.”

“Oooo… Good idea- and here’s the love interest.” Scoots sighed. “Why does every scientist mare have to be unnaturally hot?”

“Isn’t she also his sister? Iiiiincest~” the stallion sang. “I know it’s wrong and we’re literally surrounded by demons, Bucky, but kiss me!”

“Ugh…” Scoots poked her tongue out.

“Well we can’t go any more to Tartarus than we already are, so…” Weaver teased.

“Hi, welcome to Tartarus, have you met the Bannisters?” Scoots smirked back.

“Oh, I think I shot them two rooms ago. Speaking of-” Weave said just as the star of the show shot another zombie.

“Ha- Nice.” Scoots snorted. “Ohp and there’s the creepy marine tha- and there are the extra eyes.” She waved a hoof. “Also, why is this movie so dark? As in, physically dark. I can’t see shit.”

“Well I think all the special effects went into the BFG, and they had to cut the lighting budget to make enough space for that one shot,” Weave pointed out. “Or maybe the licensing to play the original music.”

“All of the above.” Scoots chuckled, virtually inhaling the rest of her pizza.

“Honestly, total shitshow, where Bucky totally isn’t going to bang his sister when they get home,” the stallion commented. “I think some director needs to have a talk with his sister when he gets home.”

“Ahem. When you talk to your author about his next gangbang scene, how about a little more PG, and a lot less thirteen.” Scoots snorted. “Nopony can out do the creepy like White King. I’m not kidding, some of his novels… blehh.”

“Might look into them...or not,” the stallion shrugged. “More of a fan of the Dream Demon of Elm Street. Watched that film once, liked the concept of ‘if you know about me, I can fiiiiind you.’ Naturally I had a nightmare about it and uh...surprised Luna when she showed up.”

“A) Surprised?” She raised a brow. “B) Poor Weaver, wanna watch it again so I can cuddle you to sleep when it’s over?”

“Won’t need to,” the stallion grinned. “I say nightmare. The demon showed up, naturally. But uh...he kinda was begging to be let out of my head.”

“Tha fuck did you do to him?” The mare blinked.

“There...might be mental manifestations in my head I wasn’t aware of,” Weaver supplied. “Or wasn’t until Luna showed me just how my talent for coming up with new spells works. Apparently I’m connected to the collective unconsciousness subtly, so I draw from a wide range of minds to make new ideas for my spellwork. So when he came after me…”

“That poor, poor demon.” Scoots chuckled.

“Yeah. I can’t pull on anything, unless I know what I’m looking for,” the stallion supplied. “And I can’t pull together knowledge that doesn’t exist somewhere. But enough minds working in unison when one is being attacked sorta, kinda, almost beat the nightmare before Luna showed up.”

“Huh. Interesting.” Scoots hummed.

“Yeah,” Weave nodded. “It was...interesting. But I’m not afraid of anything when I’m sleeping anymore.”

“That’s great! Wish my mind worked like that.” She chuckled.

“Sorry, can’t scale it to you as well,” the stallion shook his head. “It’s kinda my mark for a reason.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” She shrugged.

“And, movie over,” the stallion pointed out. “And we’re only halfway done with the pizza.”

Scoots blinked and looked at the TV. “Huh. Well, what do you wanna watch next?”

“We could try that idea for the game out,” Weave suggested.

“Oh I am all over that.” Scoots rolled off the couch and moved to push the table out of the way.

She trotted over, retrieved the game from the closet, and switched the TV input. She grabbed the Y-Box controller, turned it on and popped the game in. Lastly she trotted over to lay in the middle of the room. She looked back at Weave as she held up the controller and the main menu music of Doom kicked in. “You first.”

Weave took the controller in his magic and sat up on the couch, focusing on the game. “Eh,” he mused. “Hmm. We don’t want to go too hard on the difficulty, otherwise it won’t actually be fun.”

“Easy mode? This is supposed to be something special.” Scoots rolled her eyes.

“Let’s just go one rank up from normal. No need for ultra-violence,” the stallion pointed out.

“Thoughts on outside influence or distractions?” The mare asked.

“Only if you want it done back to you when it’s your turn and you’re trying to line up a shot,” Weave pointed out.

Scoots shifted her tail to the side. “Deal.”

“We’re going to ruin each other by the end of this, aren’t we?” Weave asked with a chuckle.

“If we actually make it to the bed by the end of the night, it’d be a fuckin’ miracle. Now, start slaying, Slayer.”

“Oooh, there’s a thought for that movie later,” the stallion chuckled. “He retires from slaying demons and slays pussies instead.”

“I’m sure I’ve seen that before online once. Or twice. Or… a few times.” Scoots blushed. “Don’t kinkshame. I like good animators.”

“Let’s do this then.” The screen flashed the opening finally. “Doom, get fucked edition.”

“Ready…” Scoots hummed with a smirk as she spread her back legs.

“Go.”