Gray Rock 2

Gray Rock 2- Part 1

I'm sitting on the grass again. Me, not a potted geranium. Although as a geranium, I didn't know anything going on around me.

The next thing I know is lying on the grass with a face full of Applejack trying to kiss me and hug the life out of me. I can't make out the soft noises she's making over the angry noise of Discord.

"Why the heck didn't you call me to fix this earlier?" Discord asks, then pauses, "Oh, I get it Lulu, 'if I can't have him no one can'. I can respect that, congratulations in fact, brilliant. That's a way to keep things fair and balanced."

Luna's angry stammered reply fails as Applejack raises me up to a sitting position. "Are you hearing me?" she asks, "Are you all right?"

"Overwhelmed," I manage after basically figuring out how to talk again. I remember I have arms, and try to raise them, with little success.

Applejack drapes them over her shoulders as she smiles at me, before starting the kissing with less ferocity but similar intensity.

Journal Entry - 1A (since I have no idea how many days have passed and it took about two weeks to learn how to write again)

I'm no longer a geranium. While I spent the time going through my head and dealing with a lot of personal traumas for a long time, I'm back in physical form. I'm not detailing the traumas and resolutions here.

Applejack had found the geranium, realized the pie tins meant it was me, and took me home. I spent the intervening months in a window box on a sill in her bedroom. The entire Apple Family looked after me when Applejack was off on her adventures, even talking to me to keep me up to date in case I could hear them.

This was all revealed at a tearful reunion that saw me getting moved out of the barn into a spare bedroom in the house. It wasn't their parent's bedroom. I used my familiarity with the show to camouflage that I heard nothing during that time. I asked about the invasion, the Crystal Empire, Appleoosa, and some of the things the Crusaders had gotten into. Much to the mirth of the Apples.

I did briefly discuss some of my therapy, although the rapey might be a better name. Nightmare still is a fan of emotional traumas, and I had a bucket load. She'd look in on how my mother and half-sisters treated me, and we'd then go off for some cuddling and sex. It does take the edge off some of those memories. More the cuddling than the sex ironically and as I said, Nightmare is very cuddly. I wasn't quite so explicit with the Apples. I was much more explicit with the journal that Clear Brook reads. Since I couched it in 'I must ask Clear Brook about this' I am looking forward to that discussion.

I'd also received an invitation to a party, at the Golden Oak Library, and received Applejack's assurance that Pinkie will behave herself. She didn't break down in a nervous smile, so I am reading it as 'Or else Pinky will find out about an angry Applejack'.

There's going to be a course of physical therapy, as I haven't moved my body in months and while I remember how to do it, the muscles have forgotten. Imagine having to actually think about reaching over to pick something up. Imagine having to go through toilet-training a second time. Fortunately, that only took a day and was limited to getting a scary expression on my face and lurching towards the nearest bathroom. I think Applebloom is going to make a mask of my scary face for next Nightmare Night.

Picking up bucked apples that spill out of the baskets is a good hand-to-eye coordination training method. So is writing. Although printing is easier and Granny has taken it upon herself to drag out some old school books on the Hoof Frog Method of writing. Why didn't they teach this stuff in my school? Of course not everything is smooth sailing, but they do have a sense of humor.

The string of characters on the page was recognizable, a huge improvement and a source of some pride.

"Why doesn't Miss Cheerilee teach us that, it makes so much more sense?" Applebloom asked as she stared at my work.

"I've thought the same thing," I admitted.

"Gray Rock, we really missed you," Applebloom said, "But we'll never adopt you into the family."

I stopped and stared at her earnest face. I didn't know why the thought disturbed me so much. Slight relief, and pain I never felt about leaving my own family.

"Because if we did, you couldn't marry Applejack," she said, hopped off the chair and scurried out of reach.

Big Mac's soft chuckle could be heard from where Applebloom had retreated to.

I've half a mind to tell her about how she gets her cutie mark, no, I'll tell her she'll NEVER be free of chasing cutie marks.

With Discord out and about, maybe I can get his backup to deal with Mao Tse Pony and her village of equals signs, although I might just drag Clear Brook and Balustrade in first. Justifying my actions will be easier if I have to rescue them.

In the meantime, I'm giving lessons to Fluttershy.

Angel Bunny stood in the corner crying his eyes out and squalling. Fluttershy relented from the 'kicked puppy'/soulful eyes routine, as did I, although only Fluttershy consoled the weeping bunny.

"Just remember, use that on Discord when he misbehaves," I told her, "It'll be more effective than a scolding. And treat his actions as cries for attention, if he misbehaves cancel some fun activity you were going to do together and use the time to clean up his mess."

Fluttershy looked at me curiously. "That's what you were doing to us," she said.

I never said she was stupid, I thought.

I neither confirmed nor denied. "That's an interesting comment." I left her cottage and headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.

The tea party is unexpected. A low-key Pinkie Party seems like an oxymoron on closer examination. But everyone is nicely dressed, without being too fancy. They aren't in little, black dresses, but they're clearly wearing Rarity's work and extremely understated for pony fashion. Clear Brook and Balustrade are here, as chaperones or just to observe I don't know.

For my part, I've gotten out a bunch of books from the library shelves on geography and history. "So why haven't you reclaimed the original pony homelands?" I ask, "The Elements would make short work of any leftover Windingos, Celestia could melt the ice and you'd have the entire place back."

That gobsmacks all the ponies, even Pinkie and Discord don't react, although Discord's monocle falls into his tea.

"What? You talk about it every year, has Daring Do gone there to explore, has anyone else, or has some other nation claimed it?" I ask and look around at the stunned faces.

"Dash, no sense of adventure? Rarity, no desire to see all the ancient fashions?" I say ramping up slowly, then going for broke against their apathy, "Twilight, you're going to leave all those venerable tomes of ancient lore and secrets there?"

There's no Lesson Zeroesque explosion, but this is post-Empress Cadence Twilight. "Yes," Twilight says softly, "It's a graveyard, and we're going to leave it as one."

"Well," Nightmare says to me alone, "That was unexpected."

"Okay, who wants to talk about Spider-Hawks?" I ask.

Interrupting the expected mass groan. "How about Rock Farming?!" Spike says, nearly drooling on the floor, "Some of those suckers are ripe, I can smell them when I go out there."

"Well, we have an expert here," I say of Pinkie Pie.

"You actually want to talk about rock farming?" she asks.

"No, I want to talk about Rock Farming," I say.

Pinkie raises an ear and cocks her head. "How do I tell the difference?"

Journal Entry - 1A+8 (I've done the math three times, Twilight did the math twice, and it works out differently each time, so screw it)

CeeTee and I had another session. Clear Brook seemed overly concerned about my relationship with Nightmare, romantic and otherwise. Especially considering how explicit I was describing what Nightmare would do, then would want done to her after viewing some of my traumas. I never considered boxing gloves a marital aid, a martial aid yes, marital no.

Okay, too many euphemisms and allusions, she wanted me to beat her up and fuck her behind the dumpster. After she tolerated my crying jags from reliving how I was abused, and me insisting on a safe word 'Eclipse', something that never happens in Equestria so they don't have a word for it. Actually, their word for it is collision. I'd fight Nightmare, no, no euphemisms. I used Nightmare like a punching bag, hitting her in places that no gentleman would hit a bellicose slattern and she'd fight back just enough to keep me angry. No science, just rage. Then she'd fuck me like Celestia bet her she couldn't. Then she'd cuddle and wrap herself around me to keep out the world while I'd collapse emotionally and physically exhausted. Yeah, it's sick and twisted, but it's who we both are. A lot of repressed, childish fury.

It's also why Clear Brook was so freaked out. She talked a lot about codependency, unhealthy relationships, sadomasochism, and then totally freaked out when I told her Nightmare could hear every word she said. But on the plus side, I'm a lot less defensive and angry. And I've got plans for Nightmare, something from my readings on sexually abused children. And no, it wasn't me or my household, and I am NEVER revealing why I researched that stuff. Think about my household, use your imagination, then make it ten times worse.

The session with CeeTee and Applejack began my campaign for Nightmare. So no, it wasn't that kind of session, but this time I brought Applejack along. Calling it couples' counseling had both CeeTee and Applejack very nervous, my intention, but after a few minutes, and Applejack understanding that CeeTee wasn't Princess Celestia we actually had a good talk.

"So how often?" Applejack asked, contrary to fanon she doesn't have a built in lie detector, or the Flim-Flam Brothers wouldn't have taken her twice.

"A couple of times a day," I replied. I looked around the old castle's throne room, Not looking for an exit, just looking at the fallen grandeur.

"And you just loved it," CeeTee said, her faint disapproval clear, although she'd seated herself on the stairs to the dias to be the tallest in the room.

I wasn't concerned. "I think you're missing the point. She didn't get a chance to give me a bath like you did, Applejack, she didn't get to cuddle after a full meal on a picnic blanket like you, CeeTee, but she knows she wants the connection that came from that," I told the two embarrassed mares, "The sad thing is, sex is the only way she knows how to express intimacy. Like Pinkie Pie's overexuberant style is the only way she can make ponies smile. She had Cranky ready to beat her head in with a crowbar if he'd been less beaten down. Nightmare only knows sex as intimacy. Sharing a hot spring with her buoying me up as a horse didn't occur to her would be a very convivial moment. It's also the only form of play she knows."

"She's ignorant?" CeeTee asked.

Applejack got it. "She's scared. Why?"

"Imagine having everything you care about ripped away or overwritten. The Nightmare Forces aren't what Nightmare Moon was, they were before personality, having only the pieces of previous possessions as their thoughts and identity. Luna changed them permanently, due to her force of personality, magical prowess, connection to the Elements, or what we'll never know. Then the entire, new core to their identity was ripped away and they were sandblasted for their trouble," I explained, "The Nightmare Forces became Nightmare Moon, then just Nightmare, the thought of going back to not having thoughts and feelings terrifies her."

"So she hooks you with the best she can give," Applejack said, frowning at the implication.

"No, it's all she knows how to give," CeeTee said, "Not something to be jealous of, Applejack."

"I'm not the raped, the old saw is you can't rape the willing, and I'm very willing," I told them, and enjoyed their embarrassment, "But I don't understand if she needs the intensity of the experience, or she thinks I do. I enjoy sitting back to back talking shop and having lunch. I enjoy pillowing on your stomach and looking at clouds. How do I tell her that? Tell her that so she believes me? She's good at cuddling, but she doesn't value it and thinks it's of no value."

"I can't imagine how you could get tangled up with Nightmare Moon," Applejack admitted.

"Some day when Applebloom and the Crusaders aren't around, I'll give you the straight scoop about my household, and Twilight can send a letter to Princess Luna to have her ready for your nightmares," I told them.

Journal Entry - 1A+12

Bearding the lion in its den. I suspect today is when Fluttershy will domesticate Discord, but this can't wait. Nightmare had already pieced together what I was directing her senses to process. Considering Nightmare's feelings about freedom, and dominance hierarchies, i.e., they are all based on violence and anti-freedom, I was having trouble reining her in.

So Balustrade and Clear Brook have walked into the real Sunny Town, and I've stayed behind. They were welcomed at first, until Mao Tse Pony realized they were Celestia's. The creepy smiles stayed, but it's like Pinkie planning a party, there was intent behind the smiles and that intent was to fulfill her desires, not for the benefit of the recipients.

They were ushered into a building, but that was before midmorning, the sun is setting and they haven't come out. I don't think they are being tortured, but they are being brainwashed.

Okay, now there are lanterns appearing, searching the hills on the far side of the village. My two minders gave me up and they wouldn't do that in their right minds. I wasn't staying along our route of approach either, I'd circled the village and was on the opposite side, the area nearest the House of Mao's. They hadn't figured out I expected to be betrayed and had taken precautions. I wasn't going to sit exactly opposite either.

The question becomes, do I do what I planned, do I do what really needs doing, or do I just rescue the two captives? I'll let night fall. Nightmare's senses make me superb at night and ponies fear the dark.

The stealth possible with Nightmare guiding me is almost frightening. I have avoided the few patrols and now stand where the source of the infection lies. I'm glad I brought the bolt-cutter and not the hand axe. The temptation to 'miss' would be too great to ignore. There is no sign that Starlight Glimmer is aware of me. The jar with all the stolen cutie marks remains atop a wardrobe, but my mission is here.

I've dealt with evil all my life, and the idea that people must be forced into acceptable pockets revolts me no end. I am glad that Nightmare helped me work out some issues, or I would simply murder the pony in her sleep.

Nightmare has sharpened my vengeance: giving the tyrant the condition she has forced upon others. The bolt cutter fits around her horn without touching it, then strong muscles close the jaws. She wakes when the jaws bite, but it's far too late then.

The brilliant explosion throws me out of the room, but the deed is done. Glimmer's horn lays beside me, I put it in my pocket, and she begins shrieking as harmless fireworks fill the room.

"What have you done?" she screams as the pain of failed magic feeds back on her.

"You are now equal to everyone," I tell her before withdrawing.

"I'll hunt you down and destroy you!" she screams.

"She is blind," Nightmare tells me, "She doesn't know who you are."

If she comes after me, I mentally reply, Then I'll kill her. I ignore Nightmare's grumbling.

Out in the street, the cloud which obscured the moonlight has passed and concealment is not possible. The flashes of light from Starlight's manse are also visible. I head towards the building my two compatriots were taken to and never left. There are no guards, and the spells that held Balustrade and Clear Brook have faded with Starlight's powers.

"We're getting out of here," I tell the pair as I untie them, the bolt cutter making short work of the thick ropes, hawsers?, that bound them to their chairs. When they both look sheepishly guilty at me, I reply, "We have to get you out of here, the gap in their defenses won't last."

The pair are well aware they sold me out, and at this moment I don't care. "Celestia will never believe me, if you two can't report what happened then they'll escape and set up somewhere else and start all over again."

Celestia's name galvanizes them, but hours of being tied up means I'm practically carrying them out of town. A couple of ponchos cover their identity and the weathered gray color lets us blend with the night.

We reach the bolt-hole I'd scouted earlier, an old mine. I move the blockage at the entrance aside and get them inside, erase the evidence I'd moved it and closed it again without scraping up the dirt at the entrance.

Once safely inside, we wait as they get some blood in their limbs and deaddle their brains.

Journal Entry - 1A+13

They abandoned their armor and packs and flew me out that night. Neither was happy with carrying my weight after their ordeal, but it was the fastest way to get all three of us out of there before the sun rose.

I did burn Glimmer's horn in a bucket of lime that was near the entrance. I was curious what a bucket of lime would be doing until Balustrade peed in it, then squatted and shat in it. Live and learn. We allowed Clear Brook some privacy with the ponchos held high when she did likewise. No, neither knew that Glimmer's horn was in the bucket. I did when I lightened my load before we left.

I was ordered to return to the Ponyville jail while they raised a raid force to move in on the village. I suspect I'll be Glimmer's cellmate in Canterlot while they untangle everything. Knowing Princess Celestia, she'll do exactly that, conversations in prison aren't privileged.

"I'll kill you, you aherrant monkey!" Starlight screams at me.

Does she mean aberrant or abhorrent? I wonder while I stand at the door to my cell and grin at her.

"I'll twist your guts into ribbons and use them for macrame!" Starlight shouts from the cell opposite. Her horn stub throwing sparks while she fulminates.

"You're equal as you preached," I reply, "Or did you just want to be equaler than everypony else?"

"You destroyed everything!" she screams, "We could avoid the tyranny of cutie marks and you ruined it!"

"But you didn't give up yours," I point out.

Nightmare is trying to suggest conversation topics, but is laughing too hard to be intelligible. I have years of living through this kind of hypocrisy to drag out and present, so I don't need her input yet.

"I had to be able to free the others!" she shouts, "Someone had to be in charge."

"Like Princess Celestia dealing with the three kingdoms' tribes?" I ask.

"I'm nothing like that tyrant! I was freeing them from their need to excel, all that harridan does is push, push, push!" she shouts.

"Sounds like a difficult birth, remember to breathe," I say, "So you failed and decided to take vengeance on the helpless."

"Like you cutting off the horn of a sleeping mare?" she asks and grins.

"I'm pretty sure Discord can fix that," I say, "And it wasn't me who broke your jar of stolen cutie marks, it was your followers. Once they understood what had been done to them, they rebelled. You failed, again."

The absolute screaming rage that shook the bars and cursed everything in and around Equestria for several minutes has Nightmare delighted. For me, it is an uncomfortable reminder of what I had repressed, was and am trying to work through.

"They could assign her to you to teach her friendship," Nightmare suggests, before dissolving in laughter.

I think hard about how to hide a body.

Journal Entry - 1A+15 (Actually transcribed over much later)

The initial trial, or so I thought, was a prosecutor, and a series of witnesses. The Equestrians don't follow the inferential/adversarial system of justice. The prosecutor presents the evidence and the context as clearly as she can, with asides on elements of law violated, while a panel of five judges makes notes and asks questions to clarify issues. Witnesses can be called back at any time. There's a stenographer, or recorder, who takes down anything and everything said, even asides among the judges. It's also clear the exchanges between myself and Starlight were recorded and treated as evidence. Considering her half was probably audible in the Crystal Empire I had no doubt of that.

"You are expected to tell the facts to the best of you ability," the bailiff says as I am seated, "Do you understand your duty?"

"I do," I say. Nightmare is already grousing, so I need to concentrate.

"You are called Gray Rock," the prosecutor asks, "This is an alias?"

"It is the name I've used since I arrived, my actual name is rather serious insult."

"Give it please," the prosecutor says.

I do.

"Have that strucken - stricken from the record as prejudicial," the lead judge says, "Note simply that the attestant gave his name, and was correct about its nature. The attestant will hence forth be referred to as Gray Rock." The mare shakes out her mane. "Continue."

"Do you contest the claim that you removed the horn of one Starlight Glimmer?" the prosecutor asks.

"I removed the horn of one Starlight Glimmer, with a set of bolt cutters, and that was my plan of action when I entered the house of Starlight Glimmer," I say.

"You had a hatchet at the time, why not use that?" the prosecutor asks.

"The bolt cutter was cleaner, and I could have missed with the hatchet, possibly killing Starlight Glimmer," I say, "That would be the Diarch's decision, not mine. I believe that Discord could remedy her hornlessness, if requested by the Crowns, so I assumed the situation would be reversible, whereas death is not."

"So you planned the assault, why enter the town at all, why not simply inform the Equestrian military?" the prosecutor asks.

"I informed Captain Balustrade and Doctor Clear Brook, they are Equestrian Military, so I did inform them," I say.

There're panicked looks from the judges and the prosecutor.

"Ten minute recess," the lead judge says and bangs down her gavel.

The stenographer quickly leads me out before the bailiffs can.

"What was that about?" I ask quietly.

"Technically you didn't, by informing Captain Balustrade and Doctor Clear Brook, nor would you have if you'd informed either of Their Highnesses. While Their Highnesses would then inform the Guard, they aren't technically part of it, nor are Captain Balustrade and Doctor Clear Brook. Civilians who are over it, work with it, but not part of it," she says, "You aren't in trouble, it's just you opened another line of inquiry."

Journal Entry - 1A+16 (Actually transcribed over much later)

It turns out that my minders work for the Diarchs directly, and hadn't thought to forward their concerns to the military. And after the fiasco with the jail, the only military contact I had was not a good alternative. The questioning continued about my mental state surrounding the attack, and then recessed for the night.

These inquiries seem very strange, and when they brought Starlight in from her experiences, she threw herself on her bunk and started wailing. If she hadn't been Ms. Sombra, I might have had some sympathy. As it was, she cried herself out and had no energy left to hurl insults. What will tomorrow bring?

If you're warm and safe in a pile of shit, I think as I stare at the prosecutor, Keep you mouth shut.

"How did I know the village was dangerous?" I paraphrase his rather rambling question.

"We can flesh it out later, but let's start there," the prosecutor says, somewhat exasperated that I can't answer the entire question filled with terms I haven't the faintest idea how to spell let alone explain.

"I can sense dark magic," I say, "I headed there because I sensed a piece and when we saw a village there I became a bit perturbed."

That gets an eyebrow raise from the prosecutor. " 'A bit perturbed'? Is that how you want to phrase your reaction?" the prosecutor says, a gentle warning about perjury.

"Starlight Glimmer is suffering from when I became deeply disturbed," I say, "The curve is drawn along a different path than yours, and has different triggers. Nightmare in my head, initially annoying, now a bit endearing, a dark magic village full of pod people: perturbing, my friends in danger from that dark magic: deeply disturbing, but once there I don't seem emotional from the outside."

" 'Pod People'?" one of the judges asks.

"A human term for any invasion/replacement of the normal populace with people who look like regular people but are imposters," I explain, "The changelings are one form, but mind control magic, aliens masquerading, possession by outside forces, everyone being under the influence of drugs, or any other instance of people being there, but not really people or the people you expect."

"And you knew these ponies were - off, how?" the prosecutor asks.

"Dozens with the same cutie marks and the miasma of dark magic permeating the entire place," I reply.

"So you sensed dark magic throughout the town, how can we verify that this sense exists?" the prosecutor asks.

"I can lead you to the Alicorn Amulet if you wish," I tell them.

There's a lot of staring at the floor and rustling of papers as they absorb that. It is no bluff, it's a Nightmare item and she could lead me to where Twilight has hopefully disposed of it.

"No, I don't want to retrieve and wear it," Nightmare says, after a very long silence, "It wouldn't give you magical powers, nor would it make me strong enough to force powers upon you. Although making you the new dumping ground for cursed magic items would be sidesplittingly funny. 'He's got the Alicorn Amulet, the Inspiration Manifestation Book, The Helm of THUNDEREST, and the Spear of Wyrd! And Sweetie Belle beats you in a magic duel."

Thus endeth the Tale of Nightmare as she laughed herself to death at her own jokes, I think.

The court brings themselves back to order.

"Onto the attack on Starlight Glimmer, and according to you, murder was an option," the prosecutor says.

"Murder would not guarantee rescuing my friends," I reply, "That was my primary goal."

"I'm ready to sentence you to five years' intensive martial arts training," one of the judges says, "So that ceases to be an option."

"Well another of my pony friends suggested me tying her up, but it's been explained she had a different end goal in mind," I say. I enjoy the various eye rolls. I'm not always sober-sided.

Journal Entry - 1A+17 (Actually transcribed over much later)

I'm not this wrong often, but this was a doozy. I'm not going to change - correct the above entries, because this is stream of consciousness, but did I get things wrong about my trial.

"Well, I've got a lot more interest in Equestrian jurisprudence than I had before," I said as we awaited the judges' return from their conference. I felt wrung out by the questioning and listening to the questioning.

"That's good, because you'll be seeing a lot more of it," the prosecutor said, "But I'll be with you, so don't worry."

"Why more, and no offense, you've convicted me fair-and-square, but I'd rather not face you again," I said.

"What are - ? Wait, you thought this was the trial?" the prosecutor said, "You'd better sit down. This was a briefing for the team presenting Equestria's case before the Council of Rulers. This was fact finding. Your trial is in a few days before five rulers of local nations. We'll present the case as Princess Celestia's representatives, and they'll vote." The lawyer rushed over. "Are you feeling all right, do you need to lie down, you've gone awfully pale?"

"I'll be fine, once I stop being stupid," I said.

"Took me until 23," the prosecutor said.

Turns out each judge was an Equestrian legal expert on the laws of the five nations who would be the voters. Princess Luna would sit for Equestria, Chief Thunderhooves for the Buffalo, Princess Cadence for the Empire, Philosopher-King Zakuru for the Zebras, and Princess Ember for the Dragons. Celestia recused herself stating she was too close to the case.

I didn't like the odds, most of them were ciphers as to how would they react. I wasn't even that sure of the charges. They couldn't be interested in my attack on Starlight Glimmer and her little cult? Could they?

My second surprise was finding out about the details of the trial, the goals, and the reason it had been pushed. Turns out little Starlight got first dibs, and they tore her a new one on the philosophical and even physiological destruction of ponies she was partaking in.

The happy call of my name brought me around. The passionate kiss and the bone-crushing hug would have been more welcome, if they'd come from Cadence and not Shining Armor. Cadence was a few paces away laughing at the scene.

"Thank you, thank you," Armor said, resting his head on my shoulder and still crushing the life out of me.

"I never knew you could change color," Cadence said.

That penetrated Shining Armor's mind. He released me. "Sorry, but not too many ponies saved my life and Cadence's without ever being there," he said, and when I didn't respond he added, "The dream you thought Princess Luna sent, it was a prophesy."

"Oh, so Twilight didn't kill you both and this isn't the afterlife?" I asked, "I didn't need those ribs anyway."

"No," Cadence said and laughed, "I remembered it when Twilight tackled me, and went back to the old foalsitter behavior."

"I'm glad something went well out of it," I said, "But should you two we talking to me? You are going to be serving on my trial board."

"Celestia recused herself because she has an emotional attachment," Cadence said, "You being a hero does sway our opinion, but we'll still need to hear your side of the story."

"Considering what Starlight Glimmer did to your friends," Armor said, "I'm rather surprised you just cut off her horn."

"All that talk about the Princesses having life or death power over me wasn't just talk. SG is one of the Princesses' ponies, I'm an alien prison, I knew I'd have to tread carefully," I said, "So little Miss Equal Outcomes didn't go over well with the rulers?"

"I think Chief Thunderhooves said it best," Cadence said, " 'We do without your marks, for you to do without is to cease to be. You killed them then raised their corpses.'"

"He was not happy with young Starlight, and recommended that her horn not be restored," Armor added, "Like what Starlight said you told her, you are now equal. It's not the best attitude but let her get what she wants and choke on it."

"Even I know Celestia is looking for a way to redeem her," I replied, "Mercy was extended to me, I'd be a hypocrite to expect it wouldn't be extended to her."

Shining Armor and Cadence nodded.

"I am enough of a hypocrite to hope she spits in Celestia's face and Princess Celestia slaps her down," I said, causing the two royals to chuckle, "Although with Celestia's sense of humor, she'd assign her to me to redeem her." The laughing stopped abruptly and the two royals began glancing around nervously. I suspected that Princess Luna had advanced that very theory.

Time for a little fishing.

"I knew Princess Luna hated my guts but I didn't know she hated me that much," I said and I might as well have been standing with two painted marble statues.

Getting practically tackled from behind broke the spell. Two more kisses, one on each cheek followed up getting spun around by my tackler. Again it's a stallion not a mare. I think the universe hates me.

"I'm so glad you're back," Prince Blueblood said as he tried to finish what Shining Armor had started, "I'm certain Auntie will be more restrained but the depth of feeling must be shown. She's been so cross and self-doubting, while you were a flower."

He released me and held me up as my knees buckled as I tried to breathe. This guy may be a poof, but he's got muscles. "Of course she's been taking it out on me, so I am personally glad you've been restored and are able to be here with us. I won't speculate what you two do, but I've never seen her so upset and out of sorts about your discommodation. Your restoration has eased my life tremendously. As a thank you, I've got a list of her favorite simple things and recommended purchase places for the items or the raw materials as well as a few experts on the manufacture of various goods."

"Thank you, Your Highness," I gasped.

"Thank you," he replied and bowed, slightly to me, more fully to Cadence and Armor.

"You ponies don't go into heat, do you?" I asked, and after a panic-stricken moment when Cadence got an absolutely fiendish grin, "Seriously."

"No," Armor said, "But she does miss someone to talk to."

"Yes, the only people in her social circle are other rulers with their own loyalties and eldritch abominations with a skewed view of the world," I said, trying to get some air in my lungs for the next tackle/hug.

"And you," Armor said and canted his head, "Someone with a self-proclaimed death sentence hanging over his head."

I shrugged. "The highest and the lowest, maybe it is a circle."

"I doubt most condemned ponies would be so understanding," Cadence said.

"If I wasn't a teenager and she's gorgeous, maybe I wouldn't be," I said, which had Armor and Cadence laughing their heads off.

There was one more twist to the day as I headed over to see Celestia. Nightmare's giggling should have been the first clue, but so much of what amuses her sets off my hackles. She thinks that the guy who ran Andersonville Prison being German-Swiss, and the Germans' actions in their WW2 concentration camps is hilarious in its appropriateness. 'He has shown us the way!' She also thinks that the run up to World War One by the descendants of Queen Victoria is also a side-splitter. 'Family gang fight!'

The mere mention of The Siege of the Isle of Minos by Ironhart's Pegasus Legion is enough to reduce her to tears of laughter. Note, in the depths of winter, the defenders and the attackers were reduced to eating the dead of both sides to survive. 'They're attacking! Ah good, lunch is served' is her favorite comment on the affair.

The guards before Princess Celestia's private quarters were nervous. Not about me, but in general.

"That really should be a clue," Nightmare said and dissolved in laughter, again.

I'll tell her all your most ticklish spots! I told the giggling bogeymare.

She remained the giggling bogeymare.

"I was told Princess Celestia wanted to see me," I told the guards. They exchanged glances, sighed and opened the doors. There was a short corridor, with another guard who looked between me and her checklist, then waited for the outer doors to close to open the inner door. There was evidently a lot of people in there from the noise. No, there was a lot of person. "So, Mirror Pond?" I asked the dozen Celestias busily working away at a couple added desks, serving tea to each other, a couple were in the background, likely reading books that Celestia promised herself she'd get to - eventually, and one walked in yawning sleepily.

They all looked at me and smiled. That impish grin that tells you the descending anvil will miss, barely. "Hello Gray Rock, which of us is the original?" they said in perfect chorus. Since there'd been a bit of social cuing they weren't a hive mind.

"That one," I said, pointing to the book reader, "Because the rest of you are temporary and only the original will remember having read it."

The look of utter disappointment was hilarious. "Correct," the one digging through mounds of paperwork said. Several of the tea servers took part of the mound and began working on it. "It's good to see you well. No, not the Mirror Pond, Discord. How do you even know about the Mirror Pond?"

"I knew the function, the name comes from the function," I said, "So are you hiding that you're enjoying this," I said and gestured at the collection, "From Discord?"

Celestias laughed, out of sync, but still pleasant. "That, and from offers to 'fix' it. With the Royal Conference going on, having twenty of me running around is keeping everyone somewhat sane and rational. Although having to teleport from place to place to disguise it does get wearing, and the guards hiding that we haven't been invaded by Changelings is wearing on them."

"It's worked, I didn't know," I said, "Although Nightmare did."

"So, you really can sense dark and chaos magic at range, or rather, she can," Celestia said, although one or two others started to speak, but fell silent when one took the lead.

"So, you finally have a staff who can get through all the insanity, and leave you time to relax," I said, "What is Discord's nefarious plot?"

"That he'll take them away, eventually," one of the tea Celestias said, "When we've gotten used to it, and the original will be worn to a frazzle keeping up with the new normal."

"Why not one for everypony? And a pedestal to rest them on?"

Needless to say, there were ample spares to start a pillow fight of epic proportions. Followed by some fully clothed snuggling. But I eventually had to return to my cell. They'd evidently replaced Starlight's bedding with rubber sheets to prevent the utterly pulverized mare from blubbering right through the slats and onto the floor. There wasn't a mark on her, but I'd seen people who been literally curb-stomped who didn't look as emotionally destroyed as she did.

Yes, I'm a big enough bastard I sat and stared at her with a shit-eating grin on my face. She eventually noticed there were people outside the all-important her in the universe and stared at me. The transformation from oh poor me to rage would have put the Hulk to shame.

"You did this to me," the irrate mare shouted.

"You did it to yourself," I replied. Knowing how to avoid the attention of a psychopath also taught me how to push her buttons. "You failed, betrayed by your own stupidity. You are only dangerous because you infect others with your own stupidity and short-sightedness. A pack of wise leaders took one look at your plan and saw nothing new and nothing worth doing again."

"My idea was new, innovative, and those decrepit lard balls couldn't see it!" she shouted.

"Said Princess Platinum right before she summoned the Windingos," I said, "And that's just where your plan would have led. Heck, you hate the world so much, you might just summon them yourself."

She briefly looked around nervously, then continued her screech, "What would a blank flank like you know about not living up to your assigned destiny?"

"What would an entitled, special snowflake like you know about hard work? Nothing. You want everything given to you and you throw a tantrum when it isn't what you want or you have to earn it. Well guess what, the only things that satisfy are the ones you earn," I drawled as I laid down on my bunk, "But you expect the world to see how special you are without having to earn it. Seen it before, 'hands fulla gimme and mouth fulla much obliged' and there's a word for people like you. And it's no compliment." I looked over at her. "You were probably something to look at, once. But I know a dead-starfish lay when I see one, so I can laugh at you all I want, cause nopony's touching the only thing you've got of value now."

I won't document what she said, because a) she was utterly inarticulate, and b) most of it would get this book banned from most libraries. She did call me a bastard a few times, and my response was 'yeah, my mom was a whore, like you'll have to be, what's your point.' Cruel I know, but she eventually ran out of steam, broke down and began wailing like she'd actually been hurt.

A guardsmare wandered through and gave me a thumbs up as she verified 'I would have been a goddess, pity me' hadn't hung herself.

I fully expect to get an earful from Clear Brook about berating the defeated mare, but at the time I didn't care. I also realized that if I kept it up, Princess Celestia's impish sense of humor and virtuous sense of justice would force her to assign Starlight Glimmer to me to learn Friendship, having brought Nightmare into the fold by force of personality. And it would teach me not to kick someone when they were down, a problem I have with bullies. I eagerly kick them when they are down, to ensure they don't get back up.

Journal Entry - 1A+18 (Actually transcribed over much later)

A short meet and greet with the nobles of the trial. Simple question: how can I prove that I can sense Dark magic. I've got to think of a way. I'm an idiot, what to do is obvious, if the rest of Chief Thunderhooves' braves are as big as the messenger.

"You claim to be able to sense Dark magic," Princess Luna says, "Do you have proof?"

"If Chief Thunderhooves can lend me a couple of his best warriors," I say, "They can leave the proof at your hooves."

The chief's brow furrows, but he glances over and picks two by eye. A graying buffalo, who still manages to look like he eats WWE wrestlers for breakfast, and a stoic youngster who doesn't look like he'd get excited if he were on fire.

"The Royal Guard will accompany you," Princess Luna says.

"Only if you don't want them back," I say, "I picked the buffalo for a good reason, and sending in a pack of unicorns would be worse than useless. You would be a worse choice than these two braves."

I don't think she gets it, but she will. I head out with the two braves in tow.

"I can track nothing in this city," the old brave says, "Too many sights, too many smells, too much hard ground, and yet you can?"

"It's like a lodestone, pointing in a direction, and strength. But if it doesn't move I can triangulate, but this one moves," I explain.

"A living foe," the stoic one says, and just nods his approval.

These guys are big, I mean pro-wrestler big, with the muscles of an athlete, not a body builder. I wonder if they take refugees? I think, But hanging out with them will be kinda nice.

We wind our way through the city, closing on a foe who keeps moving, changing direction, and then we encounter a victim.

"So, that is why you dart about," the stoic says, "We hunt a wolf. No cutie mark, a wolf that eats magic."

"Yes, I had a vague feeling about it," I say, "But I couldn't be sure."

"We'll borrow you to scour our lands for bad medicine," the older brave says.

"We can work out a trade," I say.

"We have few trinkets to compare with this," the old brave says.

"I can make most of what I want," I reply, "It's the skills I want, and you have those in abundance."

Stoic actually laughs at that and claps me on the shoulder. I brace, expecting to be driven through the pavement, but while it is hard, it doesn't even make my knees bend.

This guy has nothing to prove, and he knows it, I realize.

Within another hour we find Tirek. He's somewhat fleshed out, but a couple of his victims have convinced neither warrior to hold back. I go in first, hoping to draw his fire.

"By order of Princess Celestia, you will surrender, submit to Royal punishment and return to your cell," I say.

The blast knocks me down, but Nightmare already had a counterspell up. Her power can't affect anything outside me, but the spell aimed deep.

"He was going to turn your bones to molten lead," Nightmare happily supplies, "It never got that far."

Neither stoic nor gray hair need prompting. Tirek goes down to an epic beating by a pair who quickly figure out how best to defeat him. They use clubs with metal heads.

If they aren't flanged are they maces? I wonder as I grab some chain and tie up Tirek's limbs. The centaur is horrified when I earth the end, draining off his stolen magic and sending it back to its owners. Then the buffalo render him unconscious.

"You can sense dark magic," the Stoic says, "And you are not afraid to fight."

"If you had any skill, you might be dangerous," Gray Hair says, and both laugh.

I don't take it personally. They've figured out it's those skills I want to learn, so they're laughing with me, not at me.

We get a bunch of lead wire and bind Tirek up. I hope that blocks his power. Nightmare seems to think it will, or the iron in the chains. Then we head back to the castle.

Luna had a fit when we dumped the badly battered Tirek on the floor of the throne room. We were immediately ordered to return him to Tartarus, and Luna's expression said she wouldn't mind if I stayed there with him.

Tartarus was . . . interesting, and I'll leave it at that. Cerberus was a good doggie and understood we were temporary. During the train trip down and back Stoic and Gray Hair ran me through some basic fighting drills, and I suspect they'll be planning out a more interesting regimen when I go down to sweep their area for dark magic landmines.

What was interesting was that Nightmare hadn't realized she was the compass I was using to track Tirek, and other dark nasties. She spent some considerable time using the distance between Ponyville and Canterlot as the base of the triangle for triangulating the ones she could pick up. I wonder which is the Storm King and his little group.

I returned to my cell that night late. Poor, poor little Starlight was whimpering in her sleep. I have to wonder was that because of a lack of Luna's attention, or being the focus of it?

I'm in the anteroom, Nightmare is beside me. She's wearing armor that is functional rather than flattering, and has a set for me.

"Luna has gotten into the vaults," Nightmare says, referring to a whole series of rooms where we keep some of darkest and most disturbing dreams. Phobias and perversions we want to keep from the world, although we can't really keep from each other. "She's gone into my nightmares. So, while she's in there, we can get the Tantabus she's been building. Nightmare Forces are fine, when they're controlled, but to intentionally feed them all your negative emotions, foolishness."

"So, if she can get in here, we can go in there?" I ask. Nightmare nods. "Let's do it."

In a trice we're gone from the anteroom, and appear in an image of the throne room. It's dark, darker than the light of Equestria's moon would allow.

Nightmare is hunting, she has no need to temper her being, no need to avoid frightening me or any other. She can be the pure predator she is. I am an afterthought, a curb should we encounter another, and a second set of eyes should she need them.

She hardly needs me. With a catlike spring she's on the black tendril, then the battle begins. Tigress against a serpent. She crushing it between her clawed hands while biting out pieces of it. The pair roll over and over each other, the tendril trying to crush the life from her even as she strangles it. The difference is, she's not alone. The braves' training returns and an axe pulled from a suit of armor scores the creature's coils where Nightmare is not present.

Within minutes, Nightmare has prevailed, wounding it, bleeding it, breaking it as it attacked her. She uproots it from the floor of the throne room and I build a small fire where it was rooted. We watch, both to ensure its true death, and to ensure neither it nor the fire spreads elsewhere.

Nightmare is all smiles. "Now you can rescue Luna. 'Cause I ain't going in where she is," Nightmare tells me and shudders, keeping a firm grip on the corpse of the Tantabus.

"But you'd be cute like that," I tell her.

"Just for that," she tells me, "I'm eating this in the 'Piss on an electric fence room'."

Now I'm wincing and trying to keep my hands from my crotch. "Fine, but you'll be eating alone. I never want to remember seeing those pictures," I tell her.

She laughs as we return to the anteroom and we head to the huge door. We're through it and separate at that point. Across the hall is a similar door with my nightmares contained within. There were once many rooms in there, but thanks to Nightmare, Celestia and Applejack, there are far fewer.

"Are you ready to be a clown!?" comes a familiar, pinkie voice. I shudder and head to Nightmare's disturbed nightmare collection. It's several more disturbed doors and I find the one Luna has entered. It has no lock but reads clearly 'Do Not Enter, Nightmare's nightmares.'