Anon-A-Miss: One Girl's Heroes

"Hello Mr. Corwin, this is Principal Celestia at Canterlot High School. I know you were not suppose to start until after the holidays, but could you be able to come in as a substitute history teacher? I know you were hired as our new science teacher, but 5 of our teachers are in the hospital with a bad case of food poisoning and we are a few teachers short... You will, thank you, you're a godsend... Oh. Well I can see how that could be a problem. Hmm... Well I guess we can bend the rules and I think I know the perfect girl to watch over your daughter... Yes, her name is Sunset Shimmer and I am sure she will get along well with your daughter Jenny... Thank you again and goodbye."

Sunset Shimmer had just grabbed her books and was about to rush down the hall when Applejack called out to her, "Hey Sunset, can we talk fer a second?"

"Can it wait until after I find out what Principle Celestia wants?" Sunset asked. "She kind of made it seem important, something about several teachers being sick and whoever our new science teacher is going to be."

"Umm... Maybe we should wait until lunch to ask her if it's that important." Fluttershy said.

"I reckon it can wait for a bit." Applejack said.

"Thanks guys." Sunset said as she ran down the hall towards the Principle's office.

"Pinkie darling, did you leave your cell phone on vibrate or something?" Rarity asked as she watched Pinkie Pie vibrate past her.

"Noooopeeeeer Rooooneeeey!" Pinkie Pie said as the others watched her vibrate past them. "Whaaaat eeeeveeeer iiiit iiiis ~iiiit's aaaa doooozy~" She sang out before vibrating down the hall and around a corner.

"Yeah, after that I vote we just let it be until lunch." Rainbow Dash said as the others just nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe you fucking talked me into this shit and let you put a piss yellow dress on me." The girl said as she sat glaring at the man behind her in the mirror as he finished putting her long brown hair in a braid.

"Listen Jenny, I know it's a lot to ask a 9 year old raised in a secret military base by scientist and soldiers to act like a sweet little girl who hasn't got a care in the world, but we need to find the portal and this is the best way to get you in there so you can help us look for it." John Corwin said as he looked back at her with the same blue grey eyes. "Besides, it was either this or leaving you here with Sherry."

"Go fuck yourself and fuck that fucking cyber cunt with a split personality." Jenny Corwin yelled as she got up and stormed out of the room.

"You do realize your me from another dimension and telling me to go fuck myself is basically saying you want me to fuck you right?" John laught as she began screaming before he got blasted into a wall by her. "Oww... Note to self don't try that again."

"Hi." Sunset said to the 9 year old girl sitting at Ms. Cheerilee's desk. "Are you Jenny Corwin?"

"Yes, Principal Celestia said I get to be the substitute librarian with someone called Sunset Shimmer." Jenny said with a somewhat forced smile.

"Well good thing I'm Sunset Shimmer." Sunset said only to get a strange look from the girl. "What?"

"You got the same hair color, but the girl in the picture that that girl name Trixie gave me looks like she was a total cunt one step away from going full on mad scientist with a doomsday device because she was on the rag." Jenny said as Sunset's jaw dropped as she just stood there looking at the little girl.

Finally she closed her mouth, smiled, and asked "You ever spend time around a bunch soldiers?"

"Four dozen badass marines with an asshole C.O. after my momma died, you?" Jenny asked.

"Same, but there was one fucking shit for brains that was dating the base commanders niece. Heard he married her." Sunset said and it was technically true since Princess Celestia was the equivalent of the Commander in Chief of all of Equestrias armed forces and could be considered the base commander.

"So what should we do?" Jenny asked.

"Have you ever read Daring Do?" Sunset asked as she grabbed a chair and pulled it over while Jenny shook her head no. "Then how about I read Daring Do and The Quest For The Sapphire Stone to you the way the person who raised me read it to me. Trust me, it's much better if she is a pegasus pony than if she is a woman." Jenny smiled as Sunset pulled out her Phone and opened the book app.

"Consarn it, where is she so we can ask her about all of this?" Applejack complained as her and the other girls sat at their usual table eating lunch.

"Well she wasn't in English class this morning darling, but neither was Ms. Harshwhinny." Rarity said as they ate. "In fact Vice Principle Luna had to teach English class and told us that several of the teachers are in the hospital after eating some bad Mexican food."

"Umm... Ms. Peachbottom was also out and there was this big scary guy with an accent named Mr. Von Ritter who taught us how to make red velvet cupcakes in Home Economics. " Fluttershy said while Pinkie Pie put a red velvet cake onto the table.

"Yeah well.... I got a double dose of missing teachers..... since both Mr. and Mrs. Doodle are.... also in the hospital." Rainbow Dash said between bites of food. "Trust me... that guy taking over for..... Mrs. Doodle in history class.... must have radar.... Gilda was going to throw... a paper wad at him.... The guy not only caught it.... but nailed her with an... eraser right between the eyes."

"Who's teaching math then Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Would you believe that it was the janitor?" Rainbow Dash said after she finished her lunch. "Turns out Discord was a college professor specializing in something called chaos theory before having a nervous breakdown after his wife left him for his sister, Eris, who is also the CEO and owner of the Cotton Candy Cloud brand chocolate milk company."

For several seconds they all digested what Rainbow Dash had just said before finally one of them had to ask. "Exactly how do you know all that?" Rarity asked.

"He wouldn't shut up about it." Rainbow Dash told them. "Seriously, he went on and on while teaching us an easier way of doing certain problem, ranting about the education system failing us by teaching us needlessly complicated ways of solving equations, grading our homework and explaining how we got the problems wrong and how to do it better next time, used a video of me playing soccer to show how everything he had explained to us was part of our every day life, and going on a tangent about how an anime called 'Kiki's Delivery Service' was one of the greatest movie he ever watched." She then began pulling her hair in frustration. "And the worst part is he did it in such a way that I understood everything perfectly, want to now watch that movie, and also find out if I really could kick a ball so hard that it would make a sonic boom like he said I could!"

Once again the table fell silent as the girls tried to wrap their heads around what they had just heard. A minute later Granny Smith called Applejack over and handed her two trays of food. "Take these here to the library fer Sunset Shimmer and Mr. Corwin's kid since they're watching the library fer Ms. Cheerilee while she's out sick."