Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

No Going Home, Part 3

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"Asking about what the Elements of Harmony were, Slowtrot knew the most, though was still vague about the details. Six in total: Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty, and Magic. That they were used to banish evil, make the land right, and were the six mares who became the mares of the ministries.

Unfortunately, it clearly could not stop a war. Even after being used a few years ago, it couldn't fully fix the land.

Personally, having some magical superweapon fix all your problem sounds silly and childish to me, but damn could I use one to help get me home. If only life was so simple." ~ Azure Dice

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"So what the creep boss mare tell ya? Probably stop sniffing we're that muzzle does not belong?" Dead Axle asked me.

I nodded. "Something like that."

"That is what ya get for sticking your nose in other ponies business. If ya did that with our clan, ya get a beating for the trouble." Live Axle added.

The two sisters had stopped me as I was leaving through the gate. They were insistent that we talk, likely because of how bored they seemed to be.

Dead Axle chuckled as she said, "Remember when that scrawny old shit tried to sneak into our ten? Pa made sure he would never try that again."

The look on Live Axle's face was far from amused. "Fuck you, sis! You slept through most of it. I had to wake up with that bastard standing over me."

"Sorry, sis. Sorry." Dead Axle apologized.

Live Axle sighed. "Sis, you really need to take things more seriously. Like pa says, fortune favors the vigilante.”

"And the wasteland eats the lazy," Dead Axle finished.

Dead Axle lazily added, "And Ma always has to remind Pa that if he never loosened up, then none of us would have been born."

Dead looked over at me as she went on to say, "Say, ya want to meet us at ta Ruffled Feathers? At least they sell us good booze and shit."

"Fucking shit, Dead! Ya want to go drinking with a soft stallion like that?!" Live Axle complained in disbelief.

"A soft stallion that ran through a giant ants nest and helped blow it up. Also, I heard he let that bitch of a sheriff put a gun to his noggin and pull the trigger. Gutsy for a soft stallion," Dead Axle explained.

Live Axle sighed. "Fine! Go get shitfaced with this stallion. I ain’t gonna look for ya in ta morning."

"You can come as well. It’s on me," I add to the conversation.

Live cocked an eyebrow at me. "Oh, ya think I'm some floozy that can be bought off with some booze, eh?

I shook my head. "No. You just remind me of some of the solider mares I've met long ago. They just needed time to relax and have a good time. Having a drink was the easiest way to do that since they rarely had the time to just go to the spa."

There was a short pause before Live gave out a little huff. "Fine, but remember ... you're buying."

"I did say I was. I just need to do something first. So, when can I meet you two there?" I checked.

"We get ta leave in an hour, but make it two. Sis might need to get all freshened up. She's starting to get ripe," Dead said with a chuckle.

"Oh fuck you, bitch!" Live shouted at her sister before sniffing herself, then her face shifted to look of concern. "Ya, give us an hour or two."

We separated. After that, I made my way to the sheriff's office. Live and Dead Axle were far from what was considered proper mares back in my time, though I hadn't been lying when I said they were like the soldier mares from back then.

If I remembered right, some of the soldiers had told me that, "When bullets start flying, niceties and manners are the first thing shot dead." Or were they two ponies they all knew? Still, it was clear that most soldier ponies that I met cared more about straightforward bluntness rather than having some pony dance around their feelings.

I, on the other hoof, had to always watch what I say. One wrong word could get you labeled as seditious or simply getting used against you in the overly competitive job market. It's why I rarely talk to my coworkers after getting pushed out of my six… no, seventh job.

My silence didn't help. It just made it easier for others to step over me.

Stopping in front of the Sheriff's office, I soon realized that I didn't know what I was going to say.

"Did you know that the leader of Blueskies is some sort of arcane tech abomination given life from the fragmented souls of ponies she's possessed?" I muttered to myself.

Ya, if somepony said that to meA, I’d think they were suffering from wartime stress disorder. Either that, or were on chems, or just plain crazy.

Sticking to the chem trade part was my best bet. I can't ask Ashy to deal with magical nonsense, but she would be able to at least stop Quicktrot from turning the town into a drug den.

Stepping in, the office looked all too similar to that of an old frontier town sheriff office from the old movies. Four desks were in the middle of the room. The place also had two jail cells and a back room. The three deputies I knew were here as well along with a few others I had seen, but didn't know their name.

Willow Tree was busy with paperwork. He was reading and writing at the same time. A pair of small glasses sat on his muzzle. This combined with his serious concentration, made him look much older than he normally did.

False Cap was talking to several other deputies, and from the sudden burst of laughing, it was not about anything serious.

Stopped Clock, on the other hoof, was cleaning a revolver with five others on his desk. His cold eye was already on me before I even looked his way.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to trot up to the pony not actively busy at the moment. A few of the deputies around False Cap saw me coming. They, in turn, motioned with their heads to False, presenting my presents to him.

"Sorry to disturb you, but I got something to report to the Sheriff," I reported to False.

He looked over at me with a tired glance then spoke with a flat board tone, "Ashy is a busy mare. Can it wait?"

This indifference took me aback a little. it felt as though I was already wasting his time.

"Well, it's not an immediate problem no,” I admitted, “but it's something that should not be left to-"

False cut me off. "Alright then. If you can put your name down on our list, we will get to you as soon as we can."

He pointed at the desk he was standing next to. On it was a rather pristine clipboard. Picking it up with my pipbuck levitation spell, I found that, other than some scuff marks that looked suspiciously like gunshot impacts, it was a pristine Ironshod commemorable clipboard, though why a gun manufacturer was making clipboards was forever beyond me.

On the clipboard were several sheets of paper, each with a wall of names and short reports. Some were simple as "A foal stole my snack cake," to "Radroache infestation on the outskirts." The first two pages were all crossed off. It was mostly crossed off with black ink. Some of it with blue. I also found two in red ink, though I was unsure if that meant anything or if they just used whatever pen that had on hoof at the time.

Flipping through, I counted six and a half pages with uncrossed names. Quite a few names were hardly legible, and some were so misspelled that it seemed the pony who wrote it was just guessing that the random assortment of letters made words. It all made me wonder how long it will even be until they could even see me.

I wrote my name down then added next to it, "Cheap cut chems in the market making untreatable addictions."

Putting the clipboard down, I turned to False as I said, "Say, there's a lot of names on it. How long will it be until you can get back to me?"

A long exasperated sigh came from False Cap as he answered, "Well, with the festival coming up, we have been stretched thin due to all the newcomers causing problems. It might not be until after the festival that we can really focus on dealing with every pony’s problems."

Until after the festival… "Say, when will the festival take place?"

False Cap paused for a moment, clearly trying to remember himself. "Oh right! The date is not set yet. We're still getting everything setup first. Once we have everything ready, we will likely announce that it will take place a week later."

"Well, that's super vague," I muttered.

He shrugged. "It's how the wasteland is. You can never put a timeline on anything until after you're ready to do it."

That actually sounded fair enough, but also gave Quicktrot too much time to entrench herself into the town.

"Say, can I at least talk to the Sheriff? It's really important." I pressed.

"You and ten other ponies today have had something important to say to Ashy. She is a very busy mare with little time to even spare for herself, so if it can wait, it will," False said firmly.

Alright. Beating around the bush was not going to help. I might as well get straight to the point.

"I have found out that the Blueskies Traders is knowingly selling chem cut with exotic chems and not informing the ponies buying the stuff. Ponies are already forming addictions that the Followers currently can't treat. If it continues, this town is going to have a serious chem problem," I warned False.

The other deputies around him shared concerned and confused glances.

Deputy False again sighed. "Alright Slowtrot. I know that you a stable pony-"

"I'm not actually a stable pony," I corrected him.

"A kind of stable pony," he dismissively continued, "and how the world worked for you before is now all different. Maybe before you could run and snitch on every colt and filly that looked at you the wrong way, but out here we got bigger problems than some junkies getting high off braman shit made dash."

False turned away from me. "If it does become a problem then we will deal with it, but right now you can trust me that it is not. If you want to continue this discussion, do it with Stopped Clock. I got better things to do."

I was clearly not getting anywhere, but Quicktrot was too dangerous to just give up here.

Taking the advice from False, I trotted over to Stopped Clock who was eyeing me as he oiled a revolver.

"My response is the same, Slowtrot," he said in a raspy voice.

"I'm not asking you to make the sheriff gallop in guns blazing. I just want her to look into Blue Skies about them selling cut chems," I said in frustration.

"And then what?" he asked.

"Maybe to tell them to knock it off. I know it's not going to stop Quicktrot. This is just a side thing to her, but it would at least get her to ease up." I huffed.

Taking a deep breath to calm down, I then continued. "Trust me, if you just let her do as she likes, then what is now a little chem problem is going to become a very big chem problem very quickly."

Stopped Clock's ears twitched. He gently put the revolver he was working on down. "I'll admit that I do not trust that trader cavan. Ponies with slick tongues are far more dangerous than ones with just guns and guts. Quicktrot has a very slick tongue, from what I've seen."

His eyes wondered, looking me over. His gaze settled on my pipbuck for a moment before again looking me in the eyes. "But she cares only for caps, nothing more. That greed is something we can easily deal with. If Blue Skies ever endangers the town, be sure that we have more than enough nooses for them all. But, as things are now, they are following our laws, and be sure that we have kept an eye on them."

He then cocked his head a little, presenting his blind eye and the claw mark over it. "Now I'm curious, weren't you among the ones who sided with that Red Eye executioner? You got in the way of our justice. One that has been left long unfulfilled. Now, if you want us to go in and use our authority, it’s a bit hypocritical, don't you say? If there's anything I hate more than anything, it's a hypocrite.

"What made our attempt to bring Executioner Red to justice any different than you trying to get us to stop Blue Skies business?" He asked with a snarl.

I didn't like where this conversation was going. The longer I was here, the more I felt Quicktrot smugly smirking at me, but I still had to get my point across.

"Because what she's doing is destroying lives! Ponies should at least know what's in those chems and who's selling it to all the vendors. It's the right thing to do. Simple as that," I explained.

Stopped Clock lifted up one of the revolvers and an oiled rag with his magic. "Executioner Red killed a lot of innocent ponies. Ponies who managed to escape from Red Eye's slave camps before that damn wall had been finished. Every time one of our own would get out, giving us the hope they return with an army to stop this madness, she would trot back into the city with the scalped cutie-mark of our friends in her saddlebag."

With the rag, he began polishing the gun. "When we learned that a bounty was put on her head, we thought some justice had been done, but when we were finally free, there she was, living a life without a damn worry."

A bitter chuckle came from his lips. "And then there's the biggest injustice about her, that the largest underground anti slaver group in the wasteland was founded by her own family. Fucking Celestia Angles were nothing more then hypocrites,. All the while, their leader was playing hero. Her daughter was actively hunting escaped slaves."

He pointed the revolver at me. He opened its cylinder to clean the inside of the gun as he said, "So tell me, how is this Quicktrot more deserving of our intervention than Percussion Cap was?"

I… I didn't know what to say.

I tried to think of something, but I came up blank.

It was like I was living in a twisted movie where nothing I did was right and every pony was just terrible.

Worse, he was right. If Percussion Cap had done all those terrible things, then I prevented justice, but now he was using that fact to not do anything. To just let other ponies suffer for his own ego.

It was clear to me that neither False Cap or Stopped Clock cared what I had to say, but then again I might be deluding myself.

This… this wasteland was not my Equestria. Everyday it was becoming more clear to me.

"Okay, Stopped, that's going a bit too far." the voice of Willow spoke up.

Turning to him, the younger stallion stood next to Sheriff Ashy Oaks who had dark bags under her eyes.

"Didn't we promise the mayor that we focused on the town first and slaver hunting second? If the problem directly affects the town, then we at least should investigate. Once everything here is good and stable, then we can tie up loose ends, and trust me ... I want to bring her to justice as much as you." As Willow talked, the tension in the room faded. Once again, I felt that I could reason with these ponies.

Willow trotted over to one of the desks and plucked up a chair. He brought it over to Ashy, to whom grabbed it and sat down on it backwards.

The older mare eyed me for a few long seconds before sighing. "Alright. First of all, I want to apologize for nearly shooting you. As dumb as you are, that’s no excuse for what I did."

I shrugged. "I was pointing the gun at myself, though I don't remember ever loading it."

Wait! Hardballer had been looking at it at the time. Why did he put a bullet in it?

Ashy looked passed me at Stopped Clock. "Now, though I do agree with you, Willow is also correct in that our responsibility is to make sure that this town comes first. Executioner Red is not here, but that mare Quicktrot is. If she is endangering this town, then I'll see to it that justice is done."

Her tired eyes then drifted back to me. "Now explain to me, what exactly is Blue Skies planning? What evidence do you have to justify this nonsense?"

Taking another deep breath to get my thoughts together, I reminded myself to say no more than the chems. Nothing about what Quicktrot really is.

"Alright, simply put, Blueskies is setting up a chem monopoly here. It has something to do with exotic chems," I began explaining.

I went into as much detail as possible, which was not all that much, but I explained to them about the three chems, how I discovered their existence, and what Quicktrot had told me.

Through it all Ashy just quietly listened, clearly taking in every word.

There was a pause before Ashy spoke up. "I never did trust them with how they hire raiders as muscle." She huffed.

"If it is all true, it could be a real problem for the town," Willow added with concern clear in his voice.

"Well, it could be a problem for the town if it affected ponies that didn't already use chems," False Cap spoke up in a smug tone.

All our heads turned to him.

False huffed. "Remember what my job is, Ashy. It's to keep an eye on all the downtowners living on the other side of the tracks. If a major issue was brewing, then I'd know, and I tell ya."

"Then what's your full assessment of Slowtrot’s story?" Ashy asked.

"Well, first off, Blue Skies only sells that cheap shit to the low-end merchants. It's basically their failed products that would never be seen, much less sold on this side of the tracks," False Cap further explained.

He had a shit-eating grin on his face as though he had just won a large pot at a poker game.

False continued. "Second, the ponies, even willing to touch that crap, are already chem addicts as it is. You know the types. Failed raiders, borderline raiders, thieves, highway ponies, washout mercenaries, and dumb tribes. They all pretend they're just regular wastelanders with a bout of bad luck, but I know the lot of them are anything but."

He then gave a big shrug and a chuckle. "Frankly, if they destroy themselves using that shit, then the town's better for it. If the trash wants to throw itself out, I say let it!”

“Anyways, most of the ponies I have seen use the Blue Skies cheap chems are already barred from going to this side of town."

"Damnit False, those are still ponies, not some monsters!" Willow chastised False.

"Raiders are also ponies, and we shoot them on sight." Stopped Clock chimed in.

We turned to the tall one-eyed stallion.

"And your opinion on the matter, Stopped?" Ashy checked with him.

He put his revolver down again. "What False says is true. The vast amount of crime that's reported in New Appleloosa comes from that side of town. Theft, mugging, assault, armed robbery, rape, and murder. On the other hoof, on this side of town, I just wish Miss Flower Pots would take her medication. I rather not have to convince her again that little green ponies from outer space are not coming to get her."

Stopped Clock picked up another revolver and started to clean it as he continued to talk. "Ever since we opened up the quarries, these ponies have been showing up looking for hoofouts. They prey on the hardworking ponies of this town and don't care who they drag down with them. Worse, there's starting to be more of them then we can reasonably deal with, and more come in by the week. If they choose to destroy themselves with cheap chems, then I say good riddance. It's less work for us."

I decided to counter this madness with my own point. "And what if they start going… raider I think you ponies call it? From what I've heard, the normal drug addiction can do that even with treatments for it, but this, there is no treatment for it."

"He is right," Willow said, siding with me. "Even if a lot of them are bad ponies, their bad ponies who are mostly under control. I don't like the idea of these new chem's floating about. We don't even know how it will affect them in the long run. It might be best to talk with Quicktrot about this. See if she can pull the products until we know what we're dealing with."

Okay, a bit weak for support, but I'll take it.

"We just need more guns." Stopped said as he pulled the trigger of the revolver. It loudly clicked when it dry fired. "Once the festival is over and more decent ponies join our town, recruiting more deputies should be easy. With them, control over the slums should be easy as well with or without more chem addicts."

Clearing her throat, Ashy spoke up. "So to get this all straight, Blue Skies is selling cut chems, but only on the other side of town, and to ponies who are already addicts. Furthermore, most of those ponies are known offenders who are banned from this side of town."

She looked over at False. "How can you be sure that none of this is coming over to this side of town?"

"Oh, trust me, it's not," False Cap assured with amusement. "I got several contacts keeping an eye on Blue Skies distribution. All their cheap shit is indeed sold to the sellers only on the outskirts, and the overall majority of buyers are the kind of pony you can spot as a junky from a mile away."

I couldn't deny that the mare that took me to the drug deer didn't look like the typical pony on this side of town.

The Sheriff then looked over to Stopped Clock. "And if things do get out of hoof?"

The tall stallion polished the revolver as he answered. "Right now, we got enough deputies to deal with any poorly armed and unorganized mob. Having more hooves to help keep the peace would be good, but even the most strung out pony will run away when bullets start flying."

He put the revolver down then sternly looked passed the Sheriff and over at me. "What I do have worries about is those raiders Blue Skies hired, the Desperados. Unlike the junkies, they are organized, trained, and are trying to arm themselves further."

Ashy now looked over at me. "This is true, and you did return to the Gunrunners with several Desperados. From what Stopped had told me, you all were quite chummy with each other."

"We’re not talking about the Desperados, were talking about Blue Skies." I said, trying to keep this on topic.

"Yes, but they are under the employment of Blue Skies." Ashy pointed out.

"Who are also barred from conducting business not involving their employer," False Cap added.

"Yes, but they hardly like working for Quicktrot. I wouldn't be surprised if they bail on her at some point," I countered.

Ashy cocked an eyebrow at me. "And how do you know this?"

"I just met a few of them today, that's all. Now let's get back on topic here," I encourage, feeling annoyed.

"So not only are they buying guns from the Gunrunners, but are also planning on cutting ties with Blue Skies." Stopped Clock pondered out loud.

I saw False Cap nod before adding to the conversation. "They have been quite aggressive around the townsfolk, on both sides of the track I should add."

"But they're not the ones selling the cut stems." I pointed out.

"Slowtrots right," Willow spoke up, "As dangerous as the Desperados are, we should concentrate on the issue at hoof. We don't have a guarantee that Blue Skies won't pull something. They barely control the Desperados, so they can at least-"

"Weren't the Desperados involved in the death of the Topsoil?" False interrupted.

"Star said that the gravedigger was with two of them the night he died." Stopped adding.

False Cap then huffed loudly, "There's no way my friend would have died to a few radroaches. That grave was far outside where the official graveyard is. I even asked to talk with the two ganggers who were with him that night, but those assholes wouldn't even tell me who they were."

Stopped Clock put down the revolver he was cleaning and picked up another as he said, "There's also the issue of all their motor wagons. If they wanted to, they could raid our town and be on us before we could set up a proper defense. With how they're clearly buying guns off the Gunrunners, I don't see them being up to any good."

Willow finally cut in with a sharp whistle "Alright friend, we get it. The Desperados-"

"Started a fight in your wife's bar last week," False cut him off again. "Frankly, bringing in the Desperados was the most dangerous thing that Blue Skies ever did."

"Fuck! By Celestia, are you two missing the point here?!" I raised my voice in frustration at False Cap and Stopped Clock. "The Desperados act like damn war vets, not a pack of beasts. If I can get along with them, it should be easy for you two.

"Quicktrot, on the other hoof, is a fucking monster. Who knows how many ponies she's killed or done worse too? She is plotting to do terrible things to this town, and that's why she wants me to just go home," I told them as I pulled out the document Quicktrot gave me.

Ashy took the document and began reading.

She cocked an eyebrow before looking at me.

"Well, this explained why your names are so similar and why you seem so dense." She said as she passed me the documents back.

Now I was confused. I looked down at the document, of which had an extra page that I don't remember seeing.

It read.

Dear Slowtrot,

It is good to see that you are well, after your sudden disappearance when you foolishly messed with that faulty arcanotech artifact. We were worried that you had met your end. I also worried because of your mental health. I was worried that, while you're lost out there, that you may become lost in your own head again with your failing mental health. After seeing you, my fears were realized when you didn't recognize my company. So, if you do start to remember, please go home where you can get some help. Your family misses you.

Sincerely your sister, Quicktrot.

I quietly put the documents back into the back, fully realizing how much I had been played. Now any effort I had made to stop Quicktrot was wasted.

"Oh, I wouldn't say wasted," the ghostly translucent form of Quicktrot floated into my vision, making me realize that everything had frozen in time. "More likely made impossible. I mean ... why would they believe the words of a mentally ill pony?"

She then bellowed into laughter with her sharp jagged teeth exposed.

I wanted to shout at her, to scream, but I was powerless, just like with the nightmare Phobetor.

"If only I was that powerful!" Quicktrot sighed with exasperation. "Between the model of pipbuck you have and the updated programming you got from that mirage pony mare, there’s not much I can do. I definitely can't turn you into a puppet like she did."

She floated right up to me. Her body and mane wisping like mist. "But when you are so close, I can at least manipulate the little things, such as if you see one sheet of paper or not. In the end, that's all I needed to do to get you to dance to my tune."

Quicktrot floated over to Ashy, placing a hoof onto her shoulder. "Though it looks like my initial assessment was correct... mostly. I didn't think she’d actually give you the time of day. But in the end, the results were the same."

Translucent caps fell out of her sleeve, falling at Ashy's hooves then shattering. "You know, I did try and bribe her, but that just pissed her off, so I quit while I was ahead. I gave those caps to a pony who wanted them."

She gleefully smiled at False before looking back at me.

"Now that you know all of this is just futile, why don't you just leave? Fuck off and get out of my mane," Quicktrot said as she made a rude gesture at me.

She started to break into smaller bits, causing her to roll her eyes. "Well, that's all the time I got to make your life miserable. The rest is up to you, Slowtrot."

Quicktrot cackled loudly before turning into small fragments and vanishing.

The world slowly returned to its normal speed where an annoyed Ashy sat in front of me.

I decided to try one more time.

"Listen, all that there doesn't matter. It's just a lie," I said as I stepped up closer to Ashy. "Quicktrot is not a pony to be trusted, and if you let her do as she-"

I was interrupted by a sharp jab to my face. A moment later I found myself on the floor with my left eye in a lot of pain.

"I can't fucking believe this!" Ashy huffed in anger. "Wasted my time listening to another crazy pony!"

She stomped off, followed by Stopped Clock, then False Cap who gave me another smug grin before returning to his desk.

"Here, let me help you up," Willow offered, and I accepted.

"Thanks," I said as I rubbed my hurting eye.

"Sorry, she's just-" he began to apologize, but I cut him off.

"Don't. I should have known this was going to happen." I trotted to the door. Before leaving, I turned to say one more thing. "Just watch out. There are things out there that… that bullets can't kill… and will make you question your sanity."

...

By the time I got to the free clinic, the area around my eye was starting to swell. This caused Jali to become concerned. I let her help me a little. She was mostly just making sure that my wound would not get infected. She also asked how it happened.

I told her the truth… well some of the truth. I dropped off the chems for her to have studied, keeping the smoke weed to use later. At this point, I didn't fucking care. I knew it didn't come from Quicktrot.

After a while I left again, heading to the Ruffled Feathers in need of a drink.

There, Live and Dead Axle met up with me, only arriving a few minutes later.

Dead Axle looked about the same but with a little less dirt on her.

Live Axle, on the other hoof, had on a pink dress under her biker vest that reminded me of a musical that was super popular when I was younger. The name eluded me right now, but it had to do with two ganges, a race wagon, and several mares they were trying to impress.

I raised the foaming beer glass up and announced, "All hail me, Slowtrot the fool, who is always a few steps behind everything." I lowered the glass and took a long gulp of the chilled beer.

"Well fuck, this means you’re the bosses older bro!" Dead Axle said in amazement as she read Quicktrot's note.

I decided to roll with it, knowing that it’ll piss Quicktrot off if I become closely associated with her. "It’s a bit more complicated than that, but ya, and she's a conniving bitch. I didn't accidentally teleport here, she set me up to get rid of me." Also half true.

Live Axle sipped on a very girly mixed drink that was more pricey than it should have been as she asked, "So ... what's your plan? You heading home like she asked?"

I looked at the rest of the documents through my now swollen eye. "I… don't know. In the end, she's right. None of this is my problem, and I can just leave at any time. But there's also the chance this is a trap and she just wants me as far away as possible before killing me. I, at least, know that whatever is waiting for me out west, it's not home. My home vanished a long time ago, and everypony is dead."

"Harsh," Dead said as she knocked back her beer. "Well, no use getting all fucking bent out of shape about it now Let it be tomorrow’s problem. Let’s get drunk now."

"I’ll drink to that," Live cheered as she joined her sister. "Anyways, if we stopped and worried about every asshole we meet in the wasteland, we would have just shot ourselves long ago. The wasteland is just a shity place full of shity ponies. If you’re not on top fucking others over, then you’re the one getting fucked."

Live got her drink refilled on my caps. "From what the elder says, old Equestria had a thousand years of peace all because no creature out there wanted to fuck with Celestia. But, as soon as Celestia stepped down and let her sister take over, Equestria became fair game. Luna failed to take control, but she did take all our enemies with her”

“Well, that's how the elder puts it." Live muttered.

I knocked back my beer as well then called for a refill. "It was more than that, but ya, Princesses Celestia was like a living goddess to a lot of us. There was no way you could beat a god."

My new beer arrived. As I stared at the amber liquid, I, for a brief moment, felt that I was back home, drinking at Sleepy Hooves Dinner.

"Slowtrot! When did you get back?" A familiar voice spoke up.

Looking up, I saw the waitress from the Dinner… and passed her I saw the nick nack covered wall of Sleepy Hooves Dinner.

"Owch! Did you get in a fight with one of the solider ponies?" the mare asked as she passed me a menu. "Well, we got a new hay burger if you want to try it. It's called the patriotic patty. I bet it will make you feel better."

This was impossible.

I took the menu. The hard paper felt real in my hooves. The smell of good fresh food filled my nose, and the sound of a siren filled my ears.

A siren?

I turned to look outside from my seat. Several ponies were standing in place looking up. One bolted off, tripping over himself. Then another. And another. The street outside turned into a stampede of panicked ponies.

Getting out of my seat, I trotted to the window. The stampede was shaking the glass. Above, I could see a trail of clouds coming in the direction of Applewood. I knew what it was.

Quickly trotting back to my seat, I took a few abandoned bottles of beer into my saddlebag before popping one open as I turned around.

"To Applewood," I said as I chugged the bottle back. I finished right as a green flash enveloped the room. Everything shook.

"Oy, Slowtrot, you real!?" Live Axle punched me in the shoulder.

Dead Axle hit my other shoulder "Ya, you faded out for a moment, like you stopped existing or something."

"Question, is this real?" I asked as I pulled out the paper menu from my pocket.

Live took the Menu. "Sleepy Hooves Dinner's new Patriotic Patty. What the fuck is this?"

"I don't rightly know, but if you see it, then I'm not completely crazy." I opened up my saddlebag and pulled out the beer I swiped. "So do you two mare want to try some fresh old Equestria beer?"

Dead Axle took one and popped it open on the table. "Free beer? Fuck ya!" she cheered.

Live Axle cautiously took a beer as well. "There's some magical nonsense going on with you, isn't there?" she probed.

I sipped on my shitter beer that was strangely now half full. "It looks like it."

As I held my beer, my hoof was shaking. This sloshed the contents of the glass around a little.

Today has been too much. I needed to just forget everything, even if it was for a night.

So I drank.

_______________________________________________________

-Reputation-

-New Appleloosa Law-

They already have enough unstable ponies to deal with, and frankly, Slowtrot is not worth the time. Don't expect them to come running if you call for help.

-Desperados-

The tale about you just gets stranger and stranger, only making them more curious about you. Also, free beer is a big plus.

___________

-Level Up!-

-Slowtrot-

Lv3,

Median now at: 53

Survival now at: 50

(New Perk) Healer - Slowtrot may not be a professionally trained doctor or nurse, or all that gentle with his hooves, but he has been taught the proper way to administer first aid, which is more than most know how to do in the wasteland. When performing median base skills, Slowtrot has a higher rate of success and will heal for more.

-Harp Melody-

Lv3,

Barter now at: 55

Science now at: 46

Speech now at: 55

(New Perk) Presence- Harp commands the attention of those around her, and the average pony will have a somewhat positive opinion of her before even knowing her.

(New Perk and Skills)

-Star Charter-

Lv3

Explosives now at: 40

Guns now at: 50

(New Perk) Earlier Sequence- Star reacts a little faster in a fight, possibly faster than anypony around her. This often gives her first strike in a fight.