Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Intermission, 02

"Hello every pony. This is DJ Pon3, still here, and still fighting the good fight. I hope you are too." Spoke a strange robot.

It was a strange winged metal sphere, that was only just now playing music as it float by. Now spoke with a ponies voice to all that could hear it.

"It's been a while since I've been able to talk about any exciting news, and I am glad for that. A quiet wasteland is a wasteland not teeming with raiders, slavers, and hordes of mutated monstrosities."

The radio stallion sighed dramatically.

"Unfortunately that hasn't stopped the wasteland from trying to bring us down, so let's do a quick recap of how much we have overcome since the stable dweller gave us back our sky."

"As you all remember, with the sun out came the rampant cases of heatstroke for a few years after which took the Followers some time to inform everypony to not be in the sun all the time and to drink more water… which, unfortunately, that led to ponies drinking more contaminated water and getting sick. Once again, Velvet and her Followers came to the rescue. We managed to get through all that mess just in time for the Elements of Harmony to finally be used, thus cleaning up the wasteland of radiation and taint. "

"Clean water for everypony! Praise Celestia!"

"So I hear you asking, DJ Pon3, why tell us this? We know! We lived through it. Well… I have the responsibility to bring you the truth, no matter how much it hurts."

"My little ponies, I have some bad news and worse news. As for the bad, it will be a few more weeks before we can get a proper rainstorm to move over Equestria. That's right, everypony will have to tough it out for a bit longer. The worse news; the smart pons have finally found out why there has been less rain to go around. I will save on the details and give you the short and dirty. The clouds are running out of water."

There was a pause. The DJ took a deep breath before continuing.

"Turns out that the constant cloud cover the enclave had over the wasteland also trapped the water in the air under it. With the aid of several surviving cloud factories, they were able to draw that excess water from the air to make plenty of clouds thick with water. With the clouds parted, the water in the air was no longer trapped. Every year after, the clouds produced have gotten thinner and thinner."

"Again, I hear you ask, DJ Pon3, if that's the case, then why didn't those pegasus tell us this before? They know everything about clouds and such. Well, I had the same question. As it turns out, the pegasus whose job it was to understand the processes also needed to go below the clouds to even learn how it all works. Now I hope I don't need to explain the Enclaves policy on their citizens poking their head below the clouds, so it's safe to assume that no pony has observed the converting of water into clouds in over two hundred years."

"What all this means is that after the next storm, it may be a long time until we have found a solution to this problem. Rain will need to be rationed. Yes, you heard right. The rain itself will need to be rationed. Until then, places more affected by the drought will need to start preparing. So, when the rain comes, collect as much rainwater as you can to last you long as possible. For any settlement unable to store enough water, the NCR will be providing aid through the assembly of several water caravans, so please go seek them out to set up a trade route."

"We all have been through hard times and have made it through them by working together. This will be no different. So, my little ponies, please take what I have said to heart. With hoof in hoof, we together will fight the good fight."

"Now back to the music"

The talk about water and a drought only made my mouth foam more. The fear of suffocating from dehydration became all the more real. Since coming to this world, I had found no pools of water in which to live and breathe in, and what water I had found was dirty and tasted funny.

I had started following the floating music sphere in hopes it would take me someplace less dry, but it only got me more lost.

Now I was standing at some sort of merchant stall in the middle of nowhere. Where I just found out that, somehow, I can read the native language.

"Ditzy Doo's Absolutely Everything!" I read out loud, the name painted on the side of a long wheeled container.

The head of a pony popped up. I would have mistakenly thought the mare was a propped-up corpse if she didn't smile and wave at me. She likely had some sort of affliction. It was either that, or magic was at work, but the pony clearly didn't look alive. In addition, the fact that her eyes looking in two different directions didn't help.

She pulled out a tablet and used her mouth. With it, she wrote, "Sorry! Didn't see you there. What can I get you?"

If I had eyebrows, I would have cocked one.

Sighing, which caused me to wheeze and foam, I had only one thing I needed. "Water."

She nodded then scratched her chin before writing down. "I have clean water for 5 caps. I also have clean irradiated water for another 5 caps." She pulled out another tablet and wrote down, "Sorry, but are you a robot?"

Shaking my head, I pulled off my headgear. It was a hollowed-out version of the floating sphere I was following. "The name’s Azure, and I'm a lurker. I'm also a bit new here. I don't know what anything is, but I assume that caps are the local currency," I guessed.

Ditzy's eyes went wide for a moment, clearly shocked by my appearance, but then she quickly relaxed with a shrug. She erased the tablet then wrote, "Never seen a lurker before, or even heard of one, actually." She erased the second message before writing, "Here. I'll give you a water bottle on the house. I’ll also give you a quick lesson on wasteland survival."

That was kind of her.

"Thank you. While you do that, can I do a drawing of you, for documentation?" I checked.

She gave me a big goofy smile and nodded.

For the next hour, she gave me a quick rundown of where I was and what dangers to avoid. In exchange, I drew a second sketch of Ditzy and gave it to her. The ghoul mare couldn't look happier. She gave me a bunch of water-filled bottles for it then passed me a book.

"This will have everything you need to know in it, and don't worry, I give them out for free." She wrote down before waving me goodbye. I waved back, happy to have met the mare.

As fate would have it, another sprite bot was passing by, so I figured I just keep following the bot.

Looking down at the book, its cover read "Wasteland Survival Guide, by Ditzy Doo."

Like my friend always says, knowledge is power.