Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

The Paths Ponies Choose, Part 3

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"Star Charter was a bit vague on the leadership of Thorns Chosen, as effectively Thorn Rosland was still the leader of the religion.

At the top was the Pope, a pony that Star knows almost nothing about. The pony is in charge of interpreting all the religious dogma of the chosen follows. They adapted them to any changes and delivered crusades on any group they see as agents of evil.

Under the Pope are the bishops and archbishops. They act as the Pope's eyes and ears, welding his authority as agents of the saint Rosland. They often own territorial property such as islands, city ships, and ports all around the world, of which they use to produce materials to donate to the Pope and the fleets.

In short, the religious leaders are no more than an emperor and nobility. Through faith, they wielded absolute power, and all must bend to their will or suffer the consequences. Makes me wonder how many of them are actually devout followers and how many just want power. It’s a tale older than time itself." ~ Azure Dice

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“Such a wonderful place, don’t you think, Star?” Bishop Purity Spiral asked as we trotted through the slums of New Appaloosa.

I looked around to see what was all that good about this part of town, not seeing much a mare like her would enjoy. Actually, to a noble of Thorns Chosen, this place should be quite the center of evil, with the only ponies who know of Saint Roseland in sight being me and her. I also remembered what Victoria told me. I needed to be as religious as a devout follower around her.

“Compared to how life was on the Blackwater, it is far better, but the word of Thorn doesn't reach out this far, so most ponies here are… Lost.” I almost stumbled on the last word as I answered.

I watched her carefully, hoping this does not turn into a shitshow. My only real experience with the higher up holy folk were nuns. They found any excuse to beat me raw if Victoria was not around. From what I knew about the bishops, they were another level of worse.

She frowned coldly. “Yes. This town has so many souls that are damned to be consumed by evil. It almost breaks my heart to even touch the ground they walk on, and disgust me to breathe the same air.”

As we trotted, a thin and ragged unicorn mare bumped into us. Her horn was covered in a cloth to hide its overflow as she attempted to pickpocket with her magic. A not uncommon tactic of poor thieves who try to steal from newcomers.

With a flick of her hoof, Purity tripped the mare, sending the unicorn to the ground face first.

Quickly turning around and coming to the mares aid, Purity helped her up. “Oh heavens me. My deepest apologies. Let me get some of that dust off you.” She used her wing to brush the dust off the mare.

Purity pulled a book out from her small saddlebag, hoofing it to the mare with a smile on her face. “Take this as my apology.”

It was the holy book of Saint Thorn Rosland. Written inside was the story of the saint's life and her teaching to her chosen. I knew the book by heart, as it was the only book we had on the Blackwater. Reading it completely out loud was how I was inducted into the chosen.

The confused mare took the book and quickly trotted off. As she vanished into the crowd, I could see a small trail of blood left behind.

Looking over at Purity, she had the same pleasant smile before covering her mouth with a wing. “Oh dear me. I think she might have nicked an artery. Could be dangerous if she doesn't wrap it up soon.”

In her wing, I saw the slight glint of a razor blade. It was clean as her wings, as though it never even touched the mare.

Not wanting to be on her wings receiving end, I smiled at Purity. “I do hope she can read. The illiterate are known to burn books for heat.”

The smile on Purity's face dropped a little. “Not being able to read the Saint’s words would be a fate worse than death. Such ponies should be saved. We should send their souls to the goddesses before evil takes them.”

I didn’t want to step on a landmine with her, so telling Purity that murdering a mare for not being able to read was a wrong move.

“In time, Lady Bishop. I mean, there are so many who can be… saved, in a less direct manner.” Quickly looking around, I saw several outsider merchants browsing the local slum merchants for any hidden treasures. “Maybe you can put the holy book out for trade. Have ponies who can read, discover it and find the true path.”

She raised an eyebrow at me and spoke in a cold tone. “An interesting idea indeed, though a crusade would be a thorny path I would rather take. Show the heathens the error of their ways. Give them a chance to prove themselves worthy of being one of the chosen.”

Purity sighed. “Yet holy Avalon refuses to begin a crusade even though Equestria is finally ours for the taking. Without the Enclave’s continued punishment of those who betrayed the goddesses, it is now up to us to finally make things right… yet they say, ‘Not yet!’”

I didn’t like the sound of that either. I was sure the fleets could manage to take some of Equestria, I think. Last I heard, the fleets were over a hundred ships, or was it just the fleet the Blackwater was part of? Maybe I should have paid more attention to the sailor ponies when they were at port.

Still, it was at least a subject less likely to end in Purity killing somepony.

As we came to the railroad tracks, we stopped. There was the disapproving gaze of Stopped Clock. “Lately you have been keeping interesting company of lately, Star. Who is this mare?”

A different grin formed on Purity’s muzzle, reminding me of a cat who found a mouse. She trotted to the deputy with a skip in her step. “Oh my! Aren't you a fine specimen? I do love a stallion who has clearly overcome great suffering. The name is Purity Spiral. May I have yours?”

She held her hoof out in the manner of a mare requesting a stallion to kiss it. I’ve only seen it done by rich ponies, and dominatrixes at the brothel.

Stopped Clock looked at her hoof before looking her in the eye. “Names Stopped Clock, and may I ask why are you hanging with this known trouble maker?”

Purity put her hoof back down. “You men Star? Oh, I’m just here to talk with Star. A trouble maker she may be, but soon she will become a fine upstanding pony.Trust me on that.”

He narrowed his eyes over at me before looking back at Purity. “I don’t know what you're seeing in her, but trust me, once a criminal, always a criminal. It’s only a matter of time before she is caught committing her next crime.”

Yep. The never forget, never forgive deputy never changes. If I could punch that cold glare off his face, I so would.

Purity again covered her mouth with her wing like a high class lady as she chuckled and said. “Oh dear me! It is so unfortunate you think in such a way. You see, I believe all can be changed... with the right motivation.”

Now he narrowed his glance at Purity, clearly sizing up the mare. “That may be, but what a pony is at their core never changes. A raider will always be a raider. A thief will always be a thief, and Star is a danger to all around her. That will never change.”

Folding her wing back to her barrel, she then trotted past the deputy, stopping on the other side of the train tracks. “It’s such a waste to be so inflexible. One needs to be able to bend and twist for when the goddesses decide to test us. Even the strongest of steel beams will break if under enough pressure, but if made like spring steel, it will bounce back and slay those who dare try and bend them to their will.”

“From what I’ve seen, once bent a steel beam is forever useless, Best to just replace it.” Stopped responded.

He trotted away from her, pausing for a moment to look at me and say, “Your time will come soon.” Then he was slowly off into the slums. Ponies gave him a wide berth as he passed.

Trotting over to Purity, she had a mischievous smile on her face as she quietly said, “When ponies like him break, their screams are the holiest of sounds.”

She looked at me, putting on a more normal smile. “Shall we be off? It will be supper time soon. I dare not let it get cold before I can taste it.”

I nodded, “We… shall.” I hated trying to talk fancy. It never felt right.

Following her, we came to the storage warehouse. Inside was a well-dressed unicorn. Symbols of the Holy fleet were on a black armband. Her horn glowed, ready for us.

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Finding myself back at Victoria's hideout, we were having lunch. Or supper, as Purity put it, on a balcony built on the side of the hideout. Two large umbrellas hung overhead, thus blocking the sun as Victoria, Puppet, Springbox and Utopia sat with us at the large enough table.

The view itself was unremarkable. It was a vast expanse of brown flatland, making me wonder how far it exactly was from New Appaloosa. How far could slip teleportation send a pony?

Another Holy fleet unicorn poured us all some hot tea into the nicest and cleanest teacups I had ever seen. The stallion himself looked too proper to be a sailor or slave.

Taking her cup, Purity smelled the tea before giving it a sip. Placing it down, she gave a satisfied sigh. “A fine cup of gunpowder tea. It’s just what I need to help cleanse myself from being around all those dirty heathens.”

She gave me a glance that told me to drink.

I was no tea drinker, so when the drink reached my tongue, I was unsure what to really think of the bitter drink except that it was… smoky?

Victoria also took a sip of the drink before finally addressing this get together. “I am grateful that you are willing to share with us your personal stock of tea. Last I heard, your plantation had come onto hard times, so this must be quite the gracious act.”

Purity sipped her dink again, savoring the smoky bitter drink. “It was a shock to hear that a plague passed through the island, killing most of the slaves. Finding and training new slaves to perfectly roll my tea has been an expensive affair, to say the least. If I did not have my holy duty here, I would be personally overseeing the training. If not for so many heathers to crack my whip on, I surely would have gone mad.”

I felt that she was already far past that, though I could be wrong. There was always a deeper level of crazy a pony can go.

“But you are right. This is a moment for celebration,” Purity said with a cheerful voice. She narrowed her eyes at Victoria. A grin formed on her muzzle. “For as it should now be known, you have failed to keep that adorable little mare hidden from me.”

Victoria clicks her tongue. “Fuck!”

Purity dropped all the pleasantness from her face. “Must you use such crash language around me?”

A sigh came from Victoria. “My apologies, Lady Bishop. You just masterfully caught me off guard, so much so I forgot myself. It’s such an embarrassment. I feel like throwing myself off this balcony.”

The pleasant smile returned to Purity muscle. “Please refrain from such an act until I have a proper replacement for you. Until then, mind your tongue.”

We were all silent as Purity took another sip of her tea. I felt a bit confused as to what this was all about.

I had to ask. “If it’s… ahhh, was it rude to ask, or not rude to ask? But what mare are you talking about?”

Purity again put her tea down as a mischievous smile formed on her face again. It made me feel uneasy. “If it is not rude to ask, that's what you meant to say.” She glanced over at Victoria, who looked a bit uncomfortable. “Our fellow chosen here deemed it necessary that she had located somepony quite valuable. A princess, in fact, though she doesn't look as though she is from pure stock. A shame, but a fine prize, if I do say.”

“Princess… do you mean Harp Melody?” I asked, feeling a deep sense of dread from the pit of my stomach.

The bishop nodded ever so slightly as she gestured for more tea to be poured. “A descendant of the equestrian royal family. The family who founded the holy land before it was blessed by the goddesses themselves.”

One of Purity’s personal attendants poured the tea into her finely crafted teacup. The mare then dropped a sugar cube into it. “The same family who abandoned our homeland to the windigos.” Another sugar cube was dropped in. “The ones who cast out our ancestors to have no homeland of our own.” She dropped three more sugar cubes into the tea. “The queen that turned our goddesses against us and so arrogantly placed herself as the family of the Goddesses.”

Her face twisted. Her wicked smile was filled with malice. Her voice reminded me of an unreasonable mad mare.

Bishop Purity shot the still hot and very sugared tea down her throat before putting the teacup back down again. With a sigh, the calmer smile returned. Her voice was, again, an unnervingly pleasant tone. “To make the blood of Queen Platinum my own, it would be the height of revenge.”

“A most wondrous idea, Lady Bishop,” Puppet Strings agreed in a flat, emotionless tone.

Springbox gave a little chuckle. “As long as ye keep me out o' yer games o' royals an' clergy, I’m to the sky fer whatever ye want to do, Lady Bishop.”

Victoria gave a disappointed sigh. “And here I was planning on making her your birthday surprise, Lady Bishop, but you had to go and outsmart me once again.” She looked over at me with a cold glance. “I have an agent of mine working to bring the princess over to our side, to have her join us willingly. To be brought onto the righteous path and see the errors of her bloodline.”

Purity narrowed her eyes at Victoria. “Is that so, Commodore? Then I do look forward to seeing the princess being brought into the flock, though I much rather you just bring her here now where I can save her soul through pain. Make her mine.” She looked over at her meticulously groomed son. “Utopia, my beautiful colt, how does having a princess as a bride sound?”

The stallion finally stopped brushing his mane long enough to look as though he was thinking. “If she is truly a princess… then she might fit my standards. She’d at least make a good concubine.”

He looked over at me. His mare-like features were just too perfect for me to take seriously as a stallion. “Her too, If she washed up. I’ll let her into my bed after supper.”

A cold shiver ran down my spine. Not sure why, though. He was definitely not my type, but if I was to sleep with him, it could be fun.

No, the idea of sex did not bother me. It was more how disinterested he seemed to be about it.

I’ve had my own share of ponies wanting to bed me, especially after I started dancing at the Ruffled Feather. Eyes of lust, eyes of longing. Some simply wanted a pony to talk to. I got intimate with a few myself. But Utopia had this feeling about him as though he was deciding to do a simple task. One that was neither a burden or something enjoyable. It was just that, a task.

Looking over at Victoria, she motioned with her head for me to reciprocate with the feminine stallion.

Personally, I rather say no, but I knew that Purity Spiral likely would not take kindly hearing that. “That would be an… honor, but... would another time be more appropriate?”

I felt Purity’s wing on my shoulder. “My son is a bit finicky about letting a mare touch him. The dirt of this wasteland has him not feeling his best. I dare say, what opportunity is better than now?”

I glanced over to Victoria, who glanced back at me with eyes that told me, “Just do it.”

Fucking bitch! Both of them and that feminine stallion too.

Putting on my best pleasantly fake smile, I decided it was going to be easier to just get fucked than get fucked up by the bishop. “Well, I don't have any pressing matters at the moment.”

With that, our supper turned to more idle chatter about the daily things everypony was doing. From reminding the chosen of their duties, to purging ponies who would not listen to the word of Saint Roseland. It sounded like everypony here has been busy. I, too, got to add my own purging of the Blood Moon raiders.

Food eventually came. It was a finely cooked cut of brahmin with some sort of corn soup. It was all amazingly fresh. Compared to it, all the food I have had up until now tasted like it came out of the garbage… which likely some of it had.

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In Victoria's private bed-chamber, I was given a wash from Puppet, who scrubbed me extra hard before using her levitation to wash the suds off with a small amount of water before putting them into a barrel. It reminded me of when Prism would wash me when I was younger. Unlike Prism, Puppet was not gentle.

Victoria passed back and forth, her tail swishing in irritation.

“I’m guessing this is not how you want things to go,” I pointed out.

For a moment, Victoria’s eyes flared with anger at me, but she then quickly calmed down as she trotted to her booze cabinet. “No. No, it is not.”

Uncorking a bottle and emptying it into two glasses, she then tossed the bottle against the wall. “That there fuckin' bitch! I thought I 'ad 'er goddess damned blind. I knew I did. Every move I made, every word I said, there should 'ave been no way 'er prissy servants should 'ave caught word about 'arp!”

She tossed a glass over to me. It was caught in Puppet’s magic then offered to me to drink.

Victoria slammed back her own drink. It all disappeared down her throat. “Drink up. You will need it for the ride you're going to have.”

I raised an eyebrow as I took the glass and sipped the strong booze. “He can’t be that bad. I mean, I can break him like a twig. What? Did you sleep with him before?”

“Yarr, an' the fuckers got 'is kinks. Probably because 'e grew to the sky as mommies little fuck toy. Why did it 'ave to be a Purity Spiral to show the sky to the Blackwater them years ago?” Victoria lamented.

Now I shot back the booze, It burning its way down. “Anyway, I can… ya know, skip it?”

Victoria shook her head. “Not out o' fuckin' that there stallion no. I at least got a pill fer ye later. Last thin' I need be ye gettin' pregnant on me when yu still 'ave a job to do, though now a bit more fuckin' annoyin'.”

“That be?” I asked.

She took a deep breath, calming down before saying, “Not now, Star. Last thing I need you to do is say anything stupid which Purity may want to hear. We will talk about Harp after you're done getting fucked, so just try and enjoy it, if you're into that shit.”

I was starting to get really worried now, hoping it wasn't some insane raider-like shit. There were stories of how those crazy fucks got their rocks off. Something to do with spark batteries, I think.

Taking a deep breath myself, I swallowed that worry, knowing that both Victoria and Purity wanted me to be alive. “Alright. We will talk later. I just hope this does not take too long.”

Trotting out of Victoria's room, I saw one of Purity’s unicorns waiting for me, horn glowing. Well, at least it meant that nopony here will be hearing whatever happens…

I really didn’t like this now.

Feeling the slip teleportation take me, I was ready for it. Managing to land on my hooves with only a little bit of bile coming up.

I found myself in a… absurdly pink room with hearts everywhere and portraits of Utopia Vision on all the walls. Each portrait had Utopia in a different pose that made him look vulnerable, his privates exposed. One in a tight dress, another bound by pink leather, tied up, on a torture rack and even one where he looked like a pet.

One portrait made it all click all too clearly. It was a portrait of Purity sitting on a younger version of her son as though he was a piece of furniture.

“I do hope you can sing for me. The louder, the better,” Utopia said as he trotted in from another room, pushing a cart filled with leather straps, ropes, whips, and what was clearly several sex toys.

What sent the biggest chill down my spine was the outfits that were in the cart. They were looking way too cute to be for some sex dungeon.

“Are those for you or me?” I asked nervously.

He nodded and said “Yes.”

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The booze had barely helped at all for my time with Utopian Vision, and now I had sore muscles I didn’t think could be sore.

I was sitting in Victoria's penthouse back in New Appaloosa. Victoria, herself, sat across from me drinking a bottle of wine.

“Take this.” Puppet told me as she levitated several pills and a clear glass of rum. “To keep you from getting pregnant.”

I gladly took it, dowing the booze as fast as possible. “Why so much fucking pink? And those outfits?!”

“Worse is he takes photos as a memento,” Victoria added.

“Don’t remind me,” I groaned. “Now there is a photo of me as a pretty-pretty pink princess together with that ‘stallion’.”

“He had me dress up as a sexy pink pope…” Victoria grumbled.

A long sigh came from Puppet Strings. “I would think you two would complain more about the sex, not the style.”

“Ehhh.” I said shrugging. “It hurt at first, but I’ve gotten my shit kicked in harder than what he did. I mean, if it was not for the dress up and all the pink shit, I’d do it again.”

“Too true,” Victoria added. “I’m not one for the sub role, but Utopia is a really good fuck after you get used to his toys. Tried to get my husband to do some of that last time we were together, but it was not the same.”

I blushed a little, remembering the actual sex part that happened. “Ya, the stuff with the ropes and straps were actually fun, and the whip too. Just wish he looked like a real stallion, not so mare with a dick.”

Puppet gave me a sideways look of disgust.

“What?! I’ve hadn’t had sex in six years. Can’t a mare enjoy getting ravaged once and a while?” I asked the stuck up Puppet.

Victoria clapped her hooves together once, getting our attention. “As much as I’d love to keep this discussion going, it’s time we get to the meat of the issue.”

“Harp, you mean?” I checked.

She nodded as she hoofed over the bottle of wine to me, letting me take a swig before she took it back.

“If the bitch Bishop gets her hooves on her, she will be locked away into a little box where she will only bring out to show off as a prize,” Victoria said with a sigh before continuing. “That means I’ll not have access to her at all, putting me back to square one.”

“I don’t like the sound of that. If Harp were to be forcefully taken, it would be no different than if it were raiders.” As the words slipped out of my mouth, I felt a pinprick in my heart.

Victoria took another long pull of her wine. “Most regrettable, I agree. Having the princess become a simple breeding mare for that vain stallion is such a waste. Personally, I wouldn’t mind letting the pissy colt mount her every night as long as I had access to the mare.”

Another pinprick hit my heart. Her words and my thoughts were making me feel uneasy.

“But no. Purity has her eyes on the mare now, making that part of my plan even more difficult,” Victoria said in frustration.

I didn’t like how callous she was talking about my friend. It was how things were, I knew that, but something in me wished she would say that she would want to protect Harp, not give her away for her own goals. Maybe if I convinced Harp to join us, then Victoria would keep her safe as she promised. I could be put in charge of her, keep an eye out for her.

I took a deep breath, calming my mind. “This plan, if I get her to join us willingly, would you keep her safe?”

Victoria eyed me like Prism would look at me when I was being foolish.

“Sure. I could convince Purity to not drag the princess away, but she would want her pound of flesh. Likely to make sure you and Harp give her grand foals as the mare demand,” she said, sounding annoyed. “That damned hag is starting to show her age, so having an heir that is more competent than her son is her top goal right now. Other than that, likely a show of faith.”

Placing the wine bottle down and getting off the couch, Victoria looked displeased by what she had just said. “It’s all to just undermine me. From day one, she never let me have a victory without her hooves all over it. She knows I want you as my second and the princess as my bargaining chip. By letting Utopia keep you both as his personal playthings, I’m at Purity’s mercy if I want what I want.”

“And that is?” I asked.

A smile formed on Victoria's face as she trotted over and found a spot right next to me. Getting even closer, I could smell the booze on her breath.

“You see, I need to make a request of the pope, but without a proper offering, it’s not going to happen. Harp would be perfect, you see. Not only her bloodline, but her magic too. The pope would not skip on such a rare and powerful sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice?” I again asked.

Victoria let herself flop down on the couch, looking at me with cruel eyes. “She will be sacrificed to the soulfire generator, feeding the holy city of Avalon for years to come. As a reward, I get to return home and finally kill that bitch!”

I narrowed my eyes at her, anger welling up. “You're going to kill Harp!”

She laughed. I felt even angrier. “Oh come now. That’s how life is. For any pony to activate anything great, a sacrifice must be done. You will come with me too, down under the waves, and to the rotten city of miracles. To-”

“Despoines?” I said without thinking, remembering what Slowtrot had told me about his strange interaction with Victoria. Then I remembered the last part, the part about Victoria herself, and that her mother was actually… “You're going to see Thorn Roasand yourself!”

She pulled herself up, eyes wide, the magic of her evil eyes directed at me. The smell of rust, blood, and salt, the sounds of celebrations and death, the feeling of pain from fighting… there was none of that coming from her.

Now I felt a bitter cold, an acrid chemical smell filling my nose. The sound of laughter without end. Something was in my body, worming around my insides, making my blood pump harder and my head throb. I could feel it move, going up, up, to my head!

I wanted it to stop. I needed it to stop. Why won’t it stop…

It all then faded away, and I felt… good.

I don’t know why, but the room looked brighter, cleaner. Victoria and Puppet were in beautiful dresses, like truly noble mares. I then saw something odd. It was right out the window.

Trotting over, it was a field of green… seaweed? Strange fish were swimming in the water and the ponies down below, happily indeed whatever this was.

It was not real.

This was too absurd to be real.

Taking a deep breath, I slammed my hoof into my own head, causing everything to distort. Another hit and I felt dizzy, but things had returned to normal.

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I noticed that my own eyes were bleeding more than they ever had before.

“WHAT… WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?” I shouted.

Victoria smiled. Her eyes were bleeding too, giving her already twisted look an extra level of madness. “Amazing. You just punched yourself out of that trance, rejected that world, just like I did.”

I growled at her. “Tell me now!”

“Oh it’s just a little mind control, not that I have any control over it. It just makes you see the world how she wants you to see it,” Victoria answered as she got up and trotted back over to her bottle of wine.

Taking a swig of the bottle, she continued. “When I first came to the surface, I was still unstable. The crew that found me became entranced. They all trotted off into the water. Had to tie the fucking captain to the wheal to make he didn’t take a dive too. Used the trapped slave for practice until another ship found us. Only Carving Doll and Puppet Strings survived in the end.”

Puppet sighed. “It took me a year for the trance to fade. Everything looked so beautiful that it hurt for reality to return.”

I again took a deep breath to calm down. “Alright. I get it, but why?”

Victoria chuckled. “Because you know things you really shouldn't. You said a word that should not come off your lips. You made me feel… nostalgic and angry.”

She slammed the bottle back, fishing it off, then pointed it at me. “That stallion, Slowtrot his name, he told you about it, didn’t he? From the first time I saw him, I knew I wanted to kill him. Such a useless stallion, maybe I’ll turn his hide into a bag.”

Another pinprick hit my heart.

“What? You don’t like that?” Victoria looked at me, a knowing smile on her face. “Are you attached to them?”

Am I?

They are good ponies. I know this.

They had also been friends.

But I was not attached to them. How could I be?

Slowtrots distress over ponies that could not be saved. It was foolish.

I felt the pipbuck on my fenlock and remembered the strange solemn look on his face. He greatly regretted killing the pony that once owned the pipbuck that was now mine. Slowtrot also threw himself into helping others, but he was useless at it. It was all too absurd, and yet, deep down, at his core, I knew he was a good pony.

Where I was anything but a good pony.

Harp was a good pony too, but where Slowtrot failed, she might actually succeed. Smart, beautiful, and had the air of a leader much like Victoria. It felt as though if she was left on her own, she could become a real hero. Do something big that nopony else could do.

All I could do was make other ponies miserable around me.

Was I attached to them… no, I am not. A bad pony like myself wouldn't be attached to them. Where they were good, I knew I was evil, so there was no way I would care.

Victoria was my true destiny. Always had been.

“No,” I said.

Victoria relaxed, tossing the empty bottle over to Puppet. “Good. Now, the stallion can wait. I want to deal with him with my own hooves. As for the princess, time is not on our side if Purity wants her. Now since you are friends, I need you to-”

“No,” I said again.

“No?” Victoria said as she raised an eyebrow at me. “Then do you have your own plan?”

“No,” I said, not having a plan and not understanding why I said it the last time.

Victoria narrowed her gaze at me. “Then why did you speak up?”

I tried to think why I said no. What I was being difficult at. Why I was not just going with the plan. It was for mom and Bridget. They would get better lives without me there. Their life will be easier. If Harp and Slowtot had to suffer…

I felt another pinch of pain in my heart.

If they had to suffer…

Would it be worth it?

For Bridget, anything…

But how would I tell this story? How would she understand? Would she forgive me?

No. No, she would not. She loves heroes, not some forgettable villain. Not evil ponies.

But that’s what I was, a violent pony who enjoys fighting. Who… loves to shed flesh and blood. I could still remember it, out of my mind and ravenous, Victoria's gift gave me the power, but also the hunger. That bastard stallion didn’t think a filly could rip his throat out with her teeth. I showed him. I ate him.

Puppet and Carving praised me. They said I reminded them of Victoria. It made me happy.

But I could never bring myself to tell Prism or Bridget how much a monster I truly was.

I didn’t belong with them... they deserve better.

“Tell me!” Victoria said impatiently, her bright green eyes still bloodshot.

I looked back at her, still unsure, but I had to give an answer.

“I… Don’t like it. Can't we just leave them be? They don’t live in the same world as us,” was my response.

Victoria looked disappointed as she sat back, legs crossing, head resting on her hoof.

“I see… A lovely thought. To think that the world would just keep ponies separated from those who would do them harm. That the violent would just stay on their own side, leaving the ones who would just sing and dance to do as they wish.” Victoria shifted her body up straight, stretching out a hoof so as to receive something.

As though on cue, Puppet Strings levitated Victories 50cal gun to her.

Balancing the gun on her hoof, and spinning it, Victoria smiled at me, teeth bearing. “Ever wondered why guns exist in this world?”

I didn’t understand why she was asking, so I just guessed. “to kill things?”

Victoria nodded. “To kill things, but not just anything; we use them to kill each other. The gun is the true child of war. A thing of cold steel firing hot led with an explosion contained in a brass cylinder. Guns exist because war exists. War exists because ponies don’t just stay on their own side.”

She racked the gun, spitting out a large bullet. “War exists because, as long as there are at least two ponies, one will want to kill the other.”

She racked the gun again, sending another bullet out. “The one who wishes to kill will use their hooves, so the pony that is attacked picks up a rock to defend themselves.”

Another rack of the gun. Another bullet came out. “So to counter the rock a club is made, to counter the club a spear.”

A fourth bullet came out as she racked it again. “The spear is replaced by a sword, and the sword is replaced by a bow.”

I watched a fifth bullet hit the floor. “From a bow to powerful magics to crafted talismans.”

A sixth bullet flew out of the gun. “Talismans to a gun to a bomb”

The seventh bullet tumbled down. “Then Mega Spells and Baelfire Bombs.”

Victoria pointed her gun at me. “You think that a pony can just be left alone, but you're wrong. Harp is merely a tool to be used, and Slowtrot is a pony who should have died over two hundred years ago. In this world, no pony leaves others well enough alone, otherwize this wasteland would have died long ago and the equestria of old would have been reborn.”

She racked the gun an eighth time. The bullet flying up and getting caught in Puppets magic. “What is that old saying… War never changes? Ya, that’s it. War is simply one group of ponies not leaving another group alone, and that other group choosing to fight back. Justified or not, it’s how things are. You either are a taker, or you get taken from.”

Tossing the gun over to Puppet, she again relaxed. Puppet ejected the magazine and began reloading it.

Victoria looked me in the eyes, a smile on her face. “Hasn’t that been how your life worked out so far? Working at that bar selling yourself, letting ponies trample all over you because some other pony has forbidden you from fighting back? A life not your own filled with letches who only know how to get others to fight for them?”

She stretched out her hoof to me. “Just let it go and join me. Some sacrifices must be made, but you will be free to be who you truly are.”

I looked at her hoof. It was like the sweetest liquor being offered to me. A lifeline to get me out of the water, to bring me back.

I wanted to take it, I needed to… yet I wasn’t.

The word then came out of my mouth again. “No.”

Shaking my head and taking a deep breath to clear my mind, I finally started to understand.

I was a bad pony, a cannibal, a monster. I accept that about myself. I always had, but that didn’t mean I wanted to willingly act like one.

No. I wanted to be a good pony. I wanted… I wanted.. To be like the hero Bridget thinks I am.

“Sorry Victoria… I can’t go with you,” I apologized.

Looking her in the eyes, I could feel the anger radiating from her. The magic of her evil eyes attacked me.

“Ya,” I said, “life is shit right now. I got the sheriff breathing down my neck, and even if I make a lot of caps during the festival, the mayor will likely take them all through taxes. I’m not some kickass cool pony who saves the day. I’m just a stripper who is also a bouncer. All my friends are just as disliked by the town as I am. I also worry about my daughter’s future all the time.”

I smiled at Victoria. Her evil eyes were not working on me. “But it’s my life and mine alone. With you, I may be free to be my true self, but what leash will I be put around my neck in return? Become that feminine stallion's mistress and pop out a few foals I’ll likely never be allowed to love. Turn a blind eye to every evil, then have to act like I’m enjoying it. Live with the knowledge that if my daughter ever finds out, she will come to hate me with all her heart.”

Breaking eye contact, I shook my head. “No. I may be free to be myself, but I’ll not be free to be what I want to be. So I think I’ll just take my chances with the wasteland. If somepony can't leave me, my family, or my friends alone… Then I’ll just have to put them six hooves under!”

Victoria sighed. “I see, but I’ll warn you, freedom like that comes at a cost, as all things do. Now wash up before you leave. Get that stink of a stallion off you.”

As I turned to trot off to the washroom, I heard a pop. I looked over to see Puppet Strings sanding alone, scowling at me before teleporting away herself.

The room was now silent, cold, and filled me with unease.

I didn’t know if I made the right choice. Maybe it was the worst choice… But whatever may come, I knew it was my choice.

Trotting to the washroom, I gave a silent prayer to the Goddesses. “May the price I pay be worth it.”

_______________________________________________________

-Reputation-

-Corps Brigade-

It’s a disappointment and a pity, but Star should not think leaving is so easy. They are what she is and blood is far thicker than water.

-Oceanic Illuminated Authority-

Star may not be an Apostate, but to turn from a Bishop might as well make you one. But like Purity says, all can be bent back to the right path.