Doofus the goofus comes to snoofus your roofus

"Aw yiss, it's just like the Capri-Suns that my momma used to pack," Doofus smacked his face on a roofing shingle. "MMmmm. Good memories."

"Doofus, are you high?"

Doofus nodded. Except he wasn't high. It was all a placebo effect caused by a rumor that the crystals that made up Twilight's castle were psychedelic. They were actually inhaling asbestos.

The end.