Author's Note

Just Can't Get A Break, Can We?

XXIII - And Another Brand New Problem

How.

How in God's name could I be so blind?

I-I just...

How!?

It's so simple!

Just wrap the plastic thingy over your dick!

Why was that so hard to remember?!

Why did the effects of pregnancy set in so quickly?!

Doesn't it take a couple of months for her to get moody?!

For Christ's sake, I'll never understand these stupid equestrians and their dumb biology!

With the sun rising and shining on a new day in Camp Everfree, the students had resumed work on the dock. For students with barely any knowledge in proper construction, they'd gotten most of it done quite quickly. Just another reason Equis was separated from the rest of Earth.

While the students constructed, Noah sat against a nearby staff building and watched Sunset intensely, yet secretly. Throughout the entirety of the morning, Sunset had been constructing, eating, scrolling Equis Daily, whatever that was, and of course, talking to Twilight.

Since the time Sunset had some sense knocked into her by Princess Twilight, people had always thought, for some odd reason, that Twilight and Sunset would work splendidly and adorably as an item. Noah never understood why, but that bothered him. At least, it used to.

Back when he, "Could give a rat's ass," about Sunset Shimmer, Noah had heard this idea from a couple of others, but many in the school had conversed about it. But he just couldn't understand it.

Sure, Twilight helped Sunset see the error of her ways, but you don't just fall in love with an Equestrian Princess after they blast you with, 'friendship magic,' halfway to Hell. Not only was it unusual, but it was just downright illogical. Absurd. He questioned if they were all just messing around acknowledging they all abhorred her at the time.

But then she showed up. The nerd who nearly wiped all life off the face of the Milky Way Galaxy. That's when those conversations ran unimaginably wild. Almost every other day, he'd hear in the hallways how Twilight and Sunset would be perfect. How it'd be beautiful.

How it'd be better than what she's with as of now.

Although, thankfully, word of Sunset and Noah being an item hadn't come around. Everyone believed they'd simply gone from adversaries, rivals, to the best pair of friends the school's ever seen. And they wouldn't be wrong if that was the case. After all, what other pair of friends do they know that came to school wearing the other's jacket?

Despite the ideas of the two being together, they'd both denied they were dating each and every time. Being Equestrian, most of them believed it, but not all. Because of that, the idea of Twilight and Sunset together returned.

Students would ask Noah what he thought, and he genuinely couldn't believe they'd be together. At least, he didn't want to. Perhaps it was just him being paranoid, but Twilight and Sunset had been interacting as they do now before. Noah just ignored it.

But now when he was forced to pay attention, his thoughts ran wild. Twilight wasn't the same as Princess Twilight, and that's what made him feel... uncomfortable.

Twilight was seemingly always around, and always talking to Sunset. But because that'd normally occur when all eight, or all twelve, were together. But now as he watched, Twilight was... perfect.

Her nerdy and somewhat shy behavior was almost enticing. And considering Sunset was always that confident and fearless girl, she worked perfectly with Twilight as well. That bothered Noah. A lot.

He didn't hate Twilight, they'd easily become friends in the past month. But he did seem to feel... Something. A strange feeling that made his mind seemingly shake like an earthquake. Slowly yet surely building with energy.

If the school could see it, and now so could he, one question lingered in his mind from yesterday night to the current morning. What if Twilight were to take Sunset away from him? Devastating him incomprehensibly. But another thought made his blood run cold.

What if she takes his child?

"Rictorshine?"

"...Hm?"

Noah switched off his 'deep thoughts' switch and turned his attention to whom had spoken. Standing with her hands behind her back with a look of rare concern spread across her face was Vice-Principal Luna.

"You're not helping."

Noah exhaled, "Oh, uh, I apologize. I was just... Thinking."

Luna tilted her head, "About what, if I may?"

"Uh... college."

Luna folded her arms, "Rictorshine, I've seen that face multiple times on my sister. Despite how long it's been, I remember it quite distinctly. Your face, on the other hand, tells a different story."

"..."

Luna sighed, "I won't pretend to know what you feel or what you're going through Rictorshine, but you will have to participate and contribute. I can't have you sitting here on your butt doing nothing."

Noah itched the back of his head as he stood up, "Sorry, I'll get to it and whatnot. It won't happen again."

Luna's look of concern grew, but she was forced to shrug it off. At least for now. "Thank you, Rictorshine. You can begin at the end of the dock. It's almost finished."

Noah faced the dock and was then hit with a fierce feeling of bewilderment. "Uh... Didn't you say we were nearly finished?"

"Correct. That is what I said. Why do you ask?"

"Because it looks like the docking board itself was just hit by a sailboat at terminal velocity."

Luna spun around on her heels, disconcerted, and found the leading board of the dock in pieces. Her eyes bulged and she promptly rushed over to investigate the random crash, leaving Noah to stare in bewilderment.

As Luna ran, he thought about how she approached and questioned him. It felt... odd. Like, instead of checking in on the idiotic black trouble maker, she was checking in on a close relative.

After messing with the principals for three years, Noah wondered if they'd grown a soft spot for him in their hearts. It was ridiculous, indubitably, but unlike other idiot trouble makers, Noah always knew what came first, and what didn't. Despite all he's done, perhaps they had respect for him for acting like an adult when the situation required it.

Maybe that's why he hadn't been expelled by now.
...

"Okay guys, we got the rope and- are you fuckin' kidding me?"

The Black Five returned from the main staff building and was dumbfounded to find the main board of the dock in pieces, and anger quickly became an understatement. After all, they were in charge of constructing it and had contributed the most. Including CJ.

Quickly handing the rope to Jain, he rushed through the crowd of students. As he made it through and got a full view of the dock, it was more than difficult to keep him from blowing his top.

"H-How, w-why, w-who... what the fu-"

Manex covered CJ's mouth, "Don't say it, you idiot!"

"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mm Mmmm Mmmm?!"

"I don't know, just don't start cursing like an idiot!"

Jain and Fall made their way through the crowd. As they did so, many of the students began to bicker and ponder what caused it, and why was a boat floating in the middle of it all. Especially Trixie Lulamoon.

"... Spirit! Show yourself! The Great and Powerful Trix-"

Manex groaned, "There is no spirit, Trixie, shut up!"

Trixie glared and mumbled, "How dare that fu-, er, crap-head mock the Great and Powerful Trixie..."

As Jain and Fall reached the front of the crowd and turned about, they were confused as to why none of the Rainbooms were present. Nore were the principals. Wherever they may be, it seemed it was his moment to take responsibility.

Jain raised both hands in a calming sort, "Alright, alright, everybody shut up!"

To his delight, the students promptly shut their mouths. Jain shrugged, "Guess that's just Equestrian humans for ya. Okay, who saw what happened? I mean, we spent all day yesterday building this stupid dock, and somehow it's now in pieces.

The boy with a black beanie and green dreadlocks stepped forward, "It was, so weird, man. We were just floating in the middle of the lake with no wind man, then all of a sudden man, Bam man! The wind picked up man, and we were slung right into the dock, man!"

Jain's face fell semi-flat, "Uh... You're telling me your boat just suddenly began to sail faster than a jetski and crashed into the dock?"

"Yeah, man!"

Jain pinched his nose bridge, annoyed, "Who else saw the boat get flung into the dock?"

To Jain's irritation, multiple hands were raised like kindergarten kids willing to answer a question for candy. He sighed, "Oh, wow. That's nice."

"What's going on here!?" Shouted a voice that forced herself through the crowd. It was Vice-Principal Luna, and she hurriedly approached the edge of the destruction to get a better look.

She scoffed, "What is the meaning of this?! You four, are you responsible for this destruction?!"

CJ mumbled, "Mm, mmm. Mmmmm mmm mmmmm mmmm..."

Jain flicked his forehead, somehow understanding. "Shut up, CJ. But anyways, don't look at us, Ms. Luna. We just left to get rope from the staff building and came back to this... thing."

"Well? What happened then?"

"Frozen In Time over here said he and his friends were just chillin' on the water before it just felt like crashing into the dock."

Luna raised an eyebrow, "...What?"

"Hey, don't look at me. Sir Ganga told me all about it."

Luna rolled her eyes, "Just, fix it. I'm busy at the moment.

"What!? Busy?! Us!? We're a couple of rag-tag teenagers, the heck are we supposed to do?!"

"You'll figure something out."

"Yeah, see, the thing is-"

CJ shouted, muffled, "Mmmm mmm mmm mmm!"

Luna nonchalantly pointed a finger, confused, "What did he say?"

"He said, 'That's not our job.'"

"Oh. Well then find the Rainbooms. They can fix it."

"But they're also a couple of rag-tag teenagers! What could be so important that you can't help us figure out how a boat crashed into a dock at eighty-eight miles per hour?!"

Luna glared, "Fix. It. This could be a way to pay for all of your... misdeeds, of the past."

Jain groaned and Luna faced the rest of the students, "The rest of you are dismissed until these four require your assistance again. Enjoy our trip, and please. Don't do anything that could endanger yourself or your fellow classmates. Seriously."

With that, the students began conversing as if a new law was just announced to the public and left the dock. Luna left in a huff as well, leaving Jain and his friends to figure out why and what happened.

Jain's face fell flat, "God forbid the adult does jackshit..." He turned around to face his friends, "Okay, what have we got?"

Manex shrugged, "Uh... I see wood in the water."

"Magnificent. CJ?"

Manex released his grip on CJ's lips, and CJ shouted, "Yeah! I see a who—le lot of bullshit!"

"Go figure. Fall? Unless it's just virgin oil or something."

Fall dipped his hand into the water and pulled it back. "Uh, does a strange, purple, and glittering trail of something in the water count?"

Jain tilted his head in curiosity as he looked over the right side of what was left of the dock. Just as Fall had described it, a strange trail in the water floated ominously. Jain traced the trail to wherever it led, and groaned as it connected itself with the sailboat.

He folded his arms, "Fall, that's not a normal purple and glittering trail of water, is it?"

"Nope."

Jain sighed, "Boys, hope you enjoyed our trip so far. Because it seems we've been given something. A… Uh… Whatever the fuck it’s called."

Manex and CJ groaned in irritation while Fall stood up. "Well, shouldn't we get the girls for this? Y'know, the ones that literally have this stuff coursing through their veins?"

"Yeah. We should."

"So..."

"We're not. This time, we're going to get to the bottom of this. This time, we're going to learn about dumbass morals every human should've learned a decade ago! This time, we're going to save the world! And nobody is going to deny us! Not even God himself-"

"Oh, hey guys. What's the problem?"

"God-fucking-damn it!"

Manex folded his arms as he watched the Rainbooms approach. "You had to say it, didn't you Jain?"

Jain and the others faced the voice from on the shore and found the Rainbooms approaching them. For whatever reason, Noah wasn't present alongside them like he usually was.

Fall raised an eyebrow, "Where were you guys?"

Rarity waved him off, "Oh, nothing much darling. Just girl stuff. The usual."

"Girl stuff?"

"Yep."

"Well, there isn't anything interesting or compelling we have, so I guess we'll go with that."

"Indeed."

Fluttershy approached what remained of the dock. "So, it was destroyed. You guys didn't happen to see who did it, did you?"

Manex shrugged, "Not a damn clue. The story is that a boat just hurled itself into it. Defying literally every law of gravity. Or whatever the hell it's called."

The Rainbooms spread out to different areas of the dock. Inspecting each and every angle like teenage detectives. Fall poked at Jain's legs, and the apparent second-in-command turned about.

"What?"

Fall then pointed over towards one of the staff buildings. As Jain focused in on where he pointed, he found Noah sitting on the steps of one. That million-mile-stare upon his face meant one thing and one thing only. Noah was contemplating a life choice.

It wasn't a bad thing, virtually, but it also wasn't good. He remembered seeing that stare at the dock a month ago, and at the orphanage three years ago. That stare always made Jain feel uneasy. Along with a strong feeling of insignificance. Whatever decision Noah was making, Jain just hoped it wouldn't mean the end of all he knows.

"Ya said a boat just randomly hurled itself at the dock?" Applejack questioned as she stood up, and CJ nodded.

"Yep. Out of nowhere, too. And from the story being told, it was something more than just gravity and whatnot being defied. It was something powerful. Something-"

"Magical."

The boys turned to Twilight, instantly distressed as she whispered aloud. CJ facepalmed, "Oh for fuck's sake! Why!? Why can't we just defeat some stupid magical being and be done with it?! We nearly lost the entire galaxy last time!"

Manex punched CJ in his shoulder, "Man, shut the fuck up. Damn nigga, if we gotta stop an evil magical equestrian-ass plot, then that's what we're doing."

Rainbow Dash laid a hand on CJ's shoulder, "Ah, we'll be fine. We were last time because of Noah and Sunset. All we gotta do is use that compass thingy on Sunset, get Noah to transform and crap, and boom! Evil conquered, again."

Pinkie Pie itched her head, "Where's Noah anyway?"

Jain pointed at the staff building, "He's over there, and he's been sitting ever since I saw him today. Sure, that wasn't long ago, but I bet it's been for some time if I were to ask Fall.

"He's doing that million-mile-stare again. The one that transcends the planet itself. Whenever he stares like that, he's making a big decision. Hopefully, it isn't anything stupid. Anyways, do we have any suspects?"

Fluttershy stepped forward, "Well, last night when we were telling spooky stories at the campfire, Timber was telling us about the tale of Gaia Everfree."

"...Okay? The hell is this going?"

"Well, after the tale, The camp director, Gloriosa, appeared from the forest mysteriously. She didn't take the trail either and said that it was just something she did and that nobody else should ever leave the trail. She said it was too dangerous."

Manex tilted his head, "Okay, but that just sounds like perfect timing. At least... it should. Why the hell am I questioning it then? What the hell does it mean?"

As Fall approached the end of the dock and exhaled, Applejack folded her arms. "Ah'll tell you what it means. It means-

"We have yet another brand new problem on our hands."