Author's Note

Over The River & Through The Woods...

PART 2: XXIV - To The Hunt

"So... What now?"

Fall turned around and shrugged at Rainbow Dash's question. "I don't know. Jain's second-in-command, apparently."

"Oh. Well, what have ya got, Jain?"

The Rainbooms and virtually all of the Black Five continued to stand where they had last left off. At the dock, with information revealing something sinister was at work.

Jain itched the back of his head, "I-I, why can't Noah do it? He's not doing anything important! He's just sitting at the staff building, staring all cryptic and depressing! Doesn't he usually make these plans?"

Rarity folded her arms, "Darling, Noah is gone."

"What?"

Jain and the others turned about back at the staff building, confused, and were shocked. Noah was gone. Not even leaving a clue as to where he might be at the moment.

CJ groaned, "Oh great. Now our dumbass leader is missing. Because that's exactly what we need..."

Applejack laid a hand on CJ's shoulder, "Now CJ, Ah'm sure he hasn't gone far and he'll probably be back in a bit. You guys did say he was makin' that million-mile-stare thingamajig. He probably just went to clear his mind. He'll be fine, trust me. Ah'm the Element of Honesty, after all."

"Yeah, okay. And if he ends up with a tree branch through his esophagus, I'll know who to blame."

"Ah, shut up."

Twilight rubbed her arm, "So, what's the plan, Jain? Since we... Need one..."

Jain sighed, "Okay then. Hm... This forest is probably relatively sizable, so I'd say we only need three groups."

Jain spun around, searching for something to stand upon and address his friends, and promptly spotted a cobble for him to use. He then lightly jogged over the rock, stepped onto it swiftly, and raised his left finger as he began.

"Okay, here are the groups," He stated. He pointed to Sunset and Twilight, along with Fall close by, "You three will search the east of the forest while Manex and I will search the west. When we think we've gone far enough, we'll come back, and Manex and I will search the south. While you three search the north."

Jain pointed to the rest of the Rainbooms along with CJ. "The rest of the Rainbooms along with CJ will stay around the campsite and keep... keep... uh... Goddamn it, I hate when I forget words... L-Look, just, stay around the campsite and make sure the counselors don't start questioning what's going on and what we're doing.

"We cannot afford to screw this up. For our dumbass classmates and our dumbass principals, high off nostalgia. The last thing we need is to get fucked over because we were busy making sure there wasn't a hidden plot to take over the universe or something. If there even is one..."

Jain crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Alright, everybody got that?"

"Got it!"

Jain smirked, "Good. Let's do this shit."

"So. Do you usually have the hots for boys when you meet them immediately?"

"W-What?! What are you talking about?!"

Sunset, Twilight, and Fall a bit ahead had begun their search in the east. Despite the many thick trees, pointy branches, and the possible ticks on the ground, the three were doing quite well.

While Fall searched high and low ahead of the two, Sunset and Twilight stayed a bit behind and talked like any other pair of teenage high school girls would. Y'know, just without the passive-aggressiveness.

Sunset giggled, "Oh, c'mon. You think I'm stupid? I've seen how you and Timber have been getting all close and personal recently. You started blushing when you guys were going over minerals, he caught you at the dock, hell, maybe if we didn't go searching for whatever it is we are, you might've wandered into the woods, sang a musical number, and then ran into him all flustered and red."

Twilight blushed as she crossed her arms, "You really are a hypocrite."

"Maybe, but that doesn't deny what I've said."

"L-Look, I've just been having unwanted encounters with him many times since we got here. That doesn't mean I like him!"

"What, so you're into girls then?"

Twilight blushed as red as a tomato. "Uh... W-What about you!? I-Imagine what Noah would think if he found out his girlfriend was into girls!"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Him..."

Twilight tilted her head, "Is something the matter?"

"No..."

Twilight rubbed her chin, "Did... He do something? Like, did you catch him looking at another girl? Was it Pinkie Pie? Something tells me it was probably Pinkie Pie. Or was it Trix-"

Sunset shushed Twilight with a finger, "How about we change the subject. Even if you're not into Timber, exactly what would you want in a person enough to want to be with them forever?"

"W-What?! C-Can't we just, I-I don't know, talk about dendrology? Just look at these trees! T-They're so... Uh... Treey!"

"What's the big deal, Twi? If you're ever going to find love, it wouldn't hurt to tell a friend what you desire. After all, it's just me. It's not like I'm gonna tell the entire world your deepest darkest secrets."

Twilight sighed and began to twiddle her fingers. "Well, I guess what I'd want out of somebody is the ability to protect me against anything. I'm not much of a fighter like you guys, so I'd be nice to have someone act as a guardian angel towards me. Even if it means their life... Hopefully, circumstances will never bring us to that point.

"Someone who can get me to feel all flustered and warm inside with the simplest of comments or actions. Even if I deny it, I'll truly be chanting inside. Hoping, praying they do more. To give me this wonderful feeling that barely anyone I've ever known could give me...

"Someone so pretty that I instantly turn red just from them laying their eyes on me. Someone whose hair is so soft and beautiful that just the touch makes me melt. Someone whose voice makes me swoon from the simplest of words."

As Twilight spoke, Sunset felt herself become... Warmer. It was a familiar sensation, and it spread itself all over her face. Turning her redder than cranberry ginger ale. Despite it being quite wrong, Sunset only welcomed the feeling. Disregarding the consequences.

Twilight continued, "I'd also want them to be witty and confident. Someone who walks with a pep in their step along with a feeling of preponderance. Someone who knows what they're doing and can get the job done. Regardless of the challenges they may face. Not like Rainbow Dash though. Well, I guess kinda like... Like..."

Sunset smirked lustfully, "Me?"

Twilight turned and promptly found herself gazing into the eyes of the redeemed junior. Something about her pine-colored eyes made Sunset appear as if she were a divinity. It just went so well with her luscious red and canary hair that Twilight felt as if she was going to collapse any minute now. Furthermore, it'd be foolish to think Sunset wouldn't as well.

Sunset whispered, "How about we... Maybe... Get properly acquainted- ow!"

Twilight was thrown out of the trance as Sunset backed away and fell to her knees. Grasping at her stomach. She panicked, "Sunset! W-What's wrong!? Are you hurt?! W-What happened?!"

Fall turned about, bewildered, "Hey, what's going on back there? Is she alright? Sunset, you alright? You need help?"

Sunset waved Fall away, still pained, "N-No! I-I-I'm good! J-Just having... G-Girl issues!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow and inspected Sunset lower. She wasn't grasping at her stomach, she was grasping at her crotch. Specifically her genitals. Twilight turned so immensely red she gave every cherry on the planet a run for their money.

She stuttered, "A-Are... A-Are you having a... Uh... Is everything alright? Y-You know... Below deck, and all?"

Sunset spoke through her teeth, "Y-Yeah, I-I'm... Fine. J-Just having... Issues..."

Twilight was confused. From her observation, Sunset appeared to be having menstrual problems. But, that wouldn't make a lick of sense. Menstrual problems only occur during pregnancy...

It didn't take long for Twilight to turn paler than the clouds in the sky.

She attempted to change the conversation, "S-So... W-What's with the ponytail? I-I never got the chance to ask. Sorry about that, b-but seriously. I-It looks pretty! Who did it?"

Sunset quickly discerned Twilight's intentions. "O-Oh, this? I-It's nothing. N... Noah... Noah did it for me."

Twilight was honestly astounded, "Noah? He did? But, why? How? I didn't know he could do that with hair. Where or how did he learn that from?"

Sunset shrugged as she cautiously rose off the ground. "H-He said these woods would damage my h-hair, and t-that he'd hate to see it r-ruined. How? I-I've no clue, and he p-probably learned it from his mother or f-father."

Twilight smiled genuinely, "Wow. Y-You're lucky to have someone like him care so much. I-I'd probably be too afraid to even mention it. A-And if I did, it'd probably have some scientific equation or understanding behind it..."

Twilight laid a hand on her shoulder, "You gonna be okay?"

Sunset sighed, "Yeah... I'll be fine."

"So... She just took the boat and left?"

"Yes! It's like she just told me to go fuck myself without even saying it!"

Jain and Manex traversed the west side of camp in hopes of finding something, anything that could prove any further suspicion of the camp counselors, specifically Gloriosa, of doing anything threatening.

Although, while walking, the two somehow went from talking about cars to planes to history to pornography sites to politics, and the trail somehow led them to talk about Jain's recent encounter with Rainbow Dash. When she requested he stay on the dock and leave her be while she went canoeing. Dumbfounding the second-in-command.

Manex folded his arms, "Dude, I don't know what to say."

Jain laid his hands flat, "Exactly! I-I don't get it! I-It's like she just didn't wanna hang out with me even though we've been hanging out for weeks now! I mean, sure, I've obviously been trying to get into her pants, but this feels different!"

"Her telling you to go suck a fat one?"

"Well, that and our relationship in general."

Manex raised an eyebrow, "She always tells you to go suck a fat one?"

"No, you dumb babyproof, marshmellow head-ass nigga-"

"Asshole."

"-My feelings towards her! I... Goddamn it, you fuck, I like her! Like, I wanna do more than just have sex. I've been enjoying all of our meets and the nights we spend on the phone together more than any other girl in my life!"

"The only other girls you ever spent time with was Amanda, who was an absolute bitch of a twelve-year-old orphan, and Carrot Top that one time you thought it a good idea to get drunk and high at the same time."

Jain's face fell flat, "Go fuck yourself Manex."

"Would probably explain your retarda-"

"What part of go fuck yourself did you miss, dipshit?!"

"The part where I care."

Jain glared at his highly discourteous best friend, and said friend continued. "Besides, I'll be with you until the day you die, my nigga."

Jain groaned, "Sometimes I wonder if that's a blessing or a curse..."

Manex leaned on a nearby tree, "Anyways, enough about your one and only, continue about that crap with Rainbow Dash. Or whatever virgin shit you were going on about."

Jain sighed and rolled his eyes, "I was trying to say that I have feelings for her. And I feel that she might as well. But that crap back at the dock made me wonder. What if... What if she-"

"Doesn't want your three inches?"

"Manex, I swear to God..."

"Heh, go on."

"...What if she doesn't want me? Doesn't like me as I do? The one girl who I actually felt a connection to, doesn't want me?"

Manex shrugged, "Those are called broken dreams, Jain. They've been happening to boys like us for centuries."

Jain rubbed his temples, "You're just a bundle of joy, aren't you?"

"It's just like a damn good man once said. 'That's just the way it is.'"

"If the way is through you, I don't wanna live anymore..."

"Aw, don't be like that, Jay Jay."

"Do not start with the childhood names, Manex. I'll slit your throat."

Manex seemed to feel something hit him with that last bit. It wasn't strong, but it also wasn't weak either. He'd heard such sayings from his friends many times over the past few years, but now when they'd gotten increasingly acquainted with the Rainbooms, the sentence felt... Odd.

Manex rubbed the side of his shoulder, "...Do you think other people talk like we do?"

Jain tilted his head, "Where did this come from?"

"I'm just saying. I mean, we say all of this horrible stuff about each other, and we're still friends. We act like saying what we do is just... normal. Do you think others do the same? If not, what do they think of us?"

Jain rolled his eyes," Manex, no philosophical shit right now. We're just scouring this dumbass forest for stuff. We don't need to start questioning our actions. It's just a part of us at this point. You don't feel like crap when we say it, so why now?"

Manex lifted a finger to reply, but it didn't take long for his entire hand to fall to his side. Maybe when their best friend slash leader wasn't missing would be the right time to bring it up.

As Manex let it go, Jain came up with a question of his own. "Yo Manex."

Manex perked up, "Yuh?"

"...Who're you after? I want a legitimate answer this time, not just some, 'I'm tryna smash,' bullshit. There's gotta be someone at this school you like. Sure, half of them may be lacking in the "departments," but that's only half. So c'mon, tell a nigga what-"

"First of all, you know exactly what I want. A hunk of overpriced shit that goes fast and gets me vapid pussy. Second, I don't like anyone. Any of them. Whatever those things are. Hell, we don't even know if they're human."

Jain tilted his head again, "I don't follow."

"Jain, have you ever just stood in the middle of the... the... God, we are really forgetting the names of things recently, aren't we?"

"Spit it out, Manex."

Manex scoffed, "Oh, shut up. Anyways, the area when you enter the school from the front thingy. Plaza or whatever the fuck it's called. Have you ever just looked around at all sides during a change in periods and just... looked at them."

"Manex, I asked if you liked anyone. Not-"

"Shut up and let me finish! I-I mean, just look at them! Their eyes are large like saucers, not a single person has a normal or natural hairstyle or coloring, they talk like this is a scripted movie, and I think their heads might even be larger than their bodies completely!"

"...And?"

"Jain, I don't care how close those things are to being us, they are not human. They're some sort of Ecutesion-"

"Equestrian."

"Equestrian version of a human. Hell, what even is an Equestrian?!"

Jain laid a hand flat, "Their ponies, Manex. On the other side of that portal, is a land full of ponies frozen in time."

Manex's eyes' might as well have exploded, "What?! Ponies?!"

Jain pinched the bridge of his nose, "Pretty sure Princess Twilight explained that."

"You know I wasn't listening to her, dog! I don't even listen to any of them!"

"So you're saying you haven't accepted our new friends and you haven't fallen for anyone, because they aren't human?"

Manex sighed and kicked a rock, "Mother-... Nevermind. Let's just keep searching..."

"Probably for the best."

"Go fuck yourself, Jain."

Why are we out here?

"So I can find whatever destroyed the dock."

O—kay... But... Why?

"I need something to keep my mind off the fact that my child could be stolen by some purple-haired nerd. The absolute bull in that is gonna make me explode."

I guess that makes sense.

"Exactly. Anyone who's baby could be stolen by a dork would do the same thing. Well, probably here, at least. A purple-haired nerd wouldn't even get a dog in America. That cesspool of so-called, 'freedom.'"

We're not in the US anymore Noah. You should've stopped thinking about its problems years ago. Especially after you solved them all by slaying the Sirens.

"Yeah? Well, you should stop showing up whenever I'm alone."

I'm only here because you have a severe problem of talking to yourself that you can't seem to fix. You literally asked your consciousness to fix your consciousness.

"Shut up."

The missing outsider and his thoughts had disappeared into the woods to remove the idea of Sunset and Twilight as an item. Unfortunately, it wasn't going very well.

Since the day he spoke his first word, Noah had a 'minor' issue of talking to himself. His cognizance seemed to have a mind of its own, and usually only appeared when Noah was truly alone. This was unquestionably one of those times.

As he sought through the forest in search of whatever it was he sought for, his consciousness repeatedly asked him questions. Questions he'd rather not think about.

Why do you think Sunset would be attracted to Twilight of all people?

"Because Twilight is a more verbose and intelligent version of Fluttershy. Sunset has this odd turn-on for making the meek feel weak. Submissive, virtually. I didn't believe it until I saw just how much Twilight blushed at whatever she said. Over and over, another witty and charming sentence after the next turned Twilight into a ticking time bomb that went off every thirty seconds. Again, and again, and a-fuckin'-gain."

Weren't you trying to ease back on the swears?

"I can say what I want when I'm alone, you idiot."

We're the same-

Noah balled his hands into a fist, "I swear to God, if you say we're the same person, I'm gonna cut myself."

Noah's consciousness snickered, and Noah promptly addressed himself. "Do not make a joke out of that! That's offensive as hell!"

But we're the same-

*Clang!*

...

It didn't take very long for Noah's body to hit the floor...