The lost boy

Looking back I realize that I should write everything down even if it doesn't seem important. Seeing that the writing part is finished, I'll just have to post it instead of deleting it. When I was still in Ponyville there was a bar with a rookie running said bar. There was only three other patrons, which is important to note. That's as much as I remember, so here's my drunken story.

"Hey, have you heard?"
"About that maniac . . . what was his name again?"
"Rowdy Roddy Piper."
"Ptooey!"
"Excuse me!"
"You heard my old-fashioned spit take!"

Oh my God, is this real! Newspapers. I need a newspaper stat! "Rowdy Roddy Piper struck again terrorizing a western town named Appaloosa." No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fucking dammit this can't be happening!

This was not what I wanted! This was supposed to be my new start on life! This was not what I wanted! I've worked my ass off for this, not for Rowdy Roddy Piper! What will the others say!?! Fuck!

No. NO! Fuck that. I refuse to accept this! Besides, who the fuck came up with that name! Manhattan?! I'll burn them all to the ground! Then they'll all burn in hell!

"They can't fucking do thish to me! I I can't be treated like this they- y can't treat me like this! Why do they have anyyyy right to ma falcking ! ? . . . I'm toooo pretty for this!
"Uhm sir, we're closed and I think you've had enough anyway." The bartender was shaking in his boots. I'm surprised he didn't run already .

". . ."

". . ."

". . . FUCKER!" Leaping across the bar I strangle him. When he passes out I poke my head back over the counter to see that everyone already left. Wait, no there's a drunk guy passed out on the floor. Dragging them both into the back of the bar I use those furry handcuffs to keep them there. Honestly, this son of a bitch was so kinky I didn't know what half this stuff was.

Going back out, I take as much alcohol as I can before I chug as much as I could. Never mind most of it is on the floor. That doesn't matter. I got my vodka. Wait, no it's a martienexgeh, fuck, it's alcohol I think. Turning the open sign to closed, I put as much alcohol into my breifcase as I can.

"Wazat!" Oh yeah, those two are in the back. Almost fell asleep. Good thing they woke me up. They must really want to hear my stories man. I stumble into the wall three times before I make it into the back room. They look at me terrified.

"Hey, yo wha tya be ding?" I might have had a stroke there.
"Listen. Listen you guys. I wanna tell you something."
"Please let us-"
"Shut the fuck up!"
"I've got the talking spoon so shutty up." Finishing another bottle I throw it at them and begin.
"Once upon a time there were two brothers, one adopted, the other alone. Bu- but the younger one lashed out at everyone. That asshole never listened to me. We were frenemies and . . and . . . and the younger one lashed out on everyone. When he left, it was the end offf are talking really. That mother . . mother bucker left to join a gang. I can't lie. I'm impressed how fast he climbed the ranks and then before I knew it he was the leader. But did he show up for mom's funeral? Noooo! How about when I went to hospital? Nope! Well a few times but that's not the point!"

"Ya and ahhh . . . What was I talking about? Whatever." Tilting my head back I take another swig. I miss my mouth at first but oh well. Hehehehe.

"You know I had a girlfriend once. Wish I hadn't, but still I had one. Her name was Lucy . . . Lucy Something, I don't know. When we met she immediately started talking to me. She was sweet at first, until we were alone. She got as much blackmail as she could and wasn't planning on leaving. Then one night I woke up and never felt better. It took a while but the gasoline soaked the house and Lucy was happily sleeping. She kept how she treated me a secret so I wasn't blamed. To the world we were the happiest we could be. I went through all ooofff that and I get Rowdy Roddy Piper. Not threatening, not even my choice. It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!"

When did I start crying? Oh wait a minute, there's a lot of red on me. "Why do I have to be red why can't it be blue! I like blue! Hey don't ignore me! Wait where's hiss's head go? Aahh why are you screaming in my ear!
Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

That's better, but the floor is getting sticky. I don't like that. Why are there so many flys in here? "YOU SNOT-NOSED BRAT GET TO WORK"

"DAD! WHERE ARE YOU!" "Get over it." "I don't need you!" "We'll stay friends, I promise."

Shut up

"Can't you do anything right!" "You're sick! Do you hear me! SICK!" "You're a monster not my son!"

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" "You're sick, that was my daughter you freak!" "Look at this, some one else to join the fun!"

"Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair! Shut up! It's not fair!" Opening my eyes everything is spinning. Leaning against the pole, I snuggle up to my new friends. These guys are amazing and they are such good listeners. Never once did they ask me to share. Speaking of which, another down the hatch. sigh I just wish they were warm. Why do they smell like pennies?! Besides they need to shower. They're so sticky. . . . . . ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ