Lost Soul

Exiting the throne room, Luna and I were met with Twilight and Celestia not far away from it, chatting about something I wasn’t able to follow along with. No doubt Celestia was close to listen in on our conversation. Whether she could actually hear it or not, I wasn’t sure, but there was no way she didn’t already know what it was about. The four of us merged our split groups and made our way over to the hospital. It was a fairly short walk from the palace, so the only reason it took any time at all was due to the number of corridors we had to pass through to get out of the palace in the first place. Why these sisters were so obsessed with constructing these elaborate buildings with seemingly no end was beyond me. I mean, they can use magic and fly, do they really think that someone busting in is going to be so much of a threat that it warrants this labyrinth of a castle even their staff would have a hard time navigating? It’s weird for a race that hasn’t seen warfare for as long as they have, especially given Ponyville’s standard. Either they’re incompetent, or their residence gets broken into far more than they’d like.

Interior designs of royal buildings aside, this was my first time stepping into one of their hospitals. It looked like a blast from the past. Within the last 15 years or so, hospitals back home got a huge revamp, standardizing the structure and organization of every building in the country so that no matter which one you went to, everything was where it should be in the place that you would expect to find it. Every single time. The only variations were the size of the rooms and hallways and that depended upon how large the city’s population count was. From what I understood, the reorganization of structure was only a mere afterthought to the true goal of lowering administrative costs to a reasonable level. The processes being used before were so needlessly convoluted that every hospital needed practically an army of lawyers covering their asses at every given moment to prevent getting sued. No idea why the system was so fucked back then or how it got to be that way, but it’s nice having affordable health care now. This one, on the other hand, was a bit more freeform in its organization, far more similar to how hospitals used to be constructed around the time I was born. It was strangely nostalgic, but I could only hope Equestria wasn’t plagued by the same problems we once had.

I got checked in and brought to a fairly large room with a number of pieces of their hospital equipment in it. From what I could recognize, there was a heart rate monitor and blood pump machine, but along with what looked like some strange scanner of sorts. These were all fairly bulky, hence the need for the large room, I imagine. Also my height certainly didn’t help placing me in a room much.

What I could only assume was a doctor came into the room that I was standing in, and told me to take a seat on the hospital bed. It was a grey unicorn with blue eyes in a lab coat, stethoscope draped across his neck. Kinda surprising considering nurses usually come in first, but maybe my first time here was a special case? Y’know, come to think of it, he may very well have been a veterinarian considering what these ponies were dealing with. Well vet or not, I admired his professionalism, if nothing else. Dude didn’t even blink upon seeing me, just came in and told me to sit down.

I sat on the bed as he spoke. “Good afternoon. My name is Doctor Grand Cross. I’m going to need some urine, stool, and blood samples from you, but before that I’d like to get a look at your anatomy. Would you please remove all your clothing and lie down flat on the bed?”

How mortifying. This is why I hate going to the doctor. I sighed. “Sure.”

I did as he instructed up until it came time to take off the shirt underneath my hoodie and my underwear. I suppose my need to cover up my genitalia was just some natural shame that I had acquired due to my societal upbringing, but my shirt… I had quite a number of scars that I didn’t like looking at. They made me paranoid about covering up all the time, which is why you’d never see me in something like a tank top, let alone shirtless. Quite literally the only time I ever took off my hoodie was to shower and do laundry, so being in a situation like this was beyond nerve-wracking.

Reluctantly, I finally pulled my shirt off, revealing my mangled torso for the doctor to see. Not even he could hide his shock at the sheer number of reminders I had accumulated over the years. Well, it would be more accurate to just say “year” in that context, but you understand my point. I had a lot of them, and I wasn’t exactly willing to reveal them at a moment’s notice. My undergarments also came off as I laid down on the bed.

To my surprise, the bed was actually tall enough to fit me completely. Unfortunately my surprise was completely overshadowed as the doctor’s intent gaze on my form was embarrassing me beyond belief. I understand that he needed to, as none of them had seen my species before, but it still bothered me to be stared at in such a way. Eventually after some notes he told me to turn around, revealing the rest of the scars I had on my back.

The next test he told me to sit back up as they hooked me up to their heart monitor. They wanted to get a good feel for what my blood pressure was like, as well as how I breathed as he listened to my lungs with a stethoscope. They took a sample of my blood, and once that was over, he told me to stand up fully against the wall as he set up the scanner I saw earlier. Apparently it was used to read the leyline systems of any creature it scanned. Sort of like an x-ray, but for detecting mana flow. Speaking of which, they x-rayed me too.

Once the x-ray was finished, he finally allowed me to put my clothes back on, an action I was all too eager to comply with. After getting fully dressed, I was escorted to a restroom as they still needed my urine and stool samples. With considerable effort trying to force something out of my system, I finally came out with what they asked for.

“Is that everything you needed from me?” I finally asked.

“There is one more thing, but it will be quick,” he said, levitating my urine sample close to his eye to study it more intently.

“...It doesn’t require me getting naked again, does it?”

He simply chuckled. “No. All that’s left now would be to…” He trailed off, an unsure look on his face. “I’m not sure if your kind does this as well, but we need to scan your brain.”

“Ah, an MRI.” I gave him a concerned stare. “I don’t need to disrobe for that?”

“Ah, so you are familiar. And no, we’re just going to scan your cranial structure, so you don’t need to worry about disrobing again.”

I hadn’t intended on letting it out, but I gave a sigh of relief upon the realization.

“I suppose I can see why you’d be reluctant to take off your clothing, considering your particular condition. May I ask-?”

“No.” I frowned at him.

“My apologies, perhaps I could have phrased that better. I meant if there was anything in particular for us to look out for that would be out of the ordinary?”

Oh. I thought… “Uh… Just one thing as far as I’m aware. Metal plate attached to what’s left of my right shoulder blade. It should come up on the x-ray.”

He quickly levitated a clipboard in front of him as he walked and scribbled something on it, presumably a note about what I just said. It was difficult to make out, apparently doctors here have writing just as bad as the ones back home. Must be a consequence of the job.

Grand Cross looked up and smiled at me. “Thank you, Franco. I understand this must be uncomfortable for you on a multitude of levels. If you just bear with us for this one last test, we should be out of your mane for a while.”

He was surprisingly cordial, and once their version of the colloquialism clicked for me, I was able to reply. “...Right. Thanks.”

I was taken to a different room that looked like the MRI scanners of old. Took up the entire room, and was properly sealed off so as to not let the mild radiation affect the doctors constantly performing them. I had taken an MRI scan before, so I knew what to do as I laid down on the bed-like structure that was comically small for me and my head was inside the machine. I heard the distinct whirring as it began to scan, and eventually after it stopped, Grand Cross came back in to get me out.

Finally, now that all the tests were over, I followed Grand Cross to the room that the Princesses and Twilight had been waiting in. The doctor levitated all his scans on the light-up board- wish I could remember what they called those things- and began a thorough examination of all of them. He stopped once he found something on a scan of my right shoulder.

“This is rather strange.” He placed his hoof on the mana scan of my right shoulder.

The girls around me seemed far more perplexed by it than I was, considering I had no idea what I was looking at. At first I thought he was referring to the plate, but Twilight spoke up, “T-two signatures...?”

“I don’t have any idea what I’m staring at.” I said expectantly.

Twilight looked up at me. “Your body is displaying two mana signatures! In other words, you’ve got leyline systems from two different sources! How in Equestria is that even possible?!”

I remembered from Twilight’s lecture that the leyline system was intrinsically tied to the nervous system. If the brain was the head of the nervous system, then it stood to reason that it was also the head of the leyline system as well. It must have been why horns were on their foreheads rather than, say, on their stomach or back. Meaning, if there was more than one source coming from someone- “So it’s like I’ve got a second brain in my arm?” I had a feeling I knew how it happened, but wasn’t sure if I should tell them.

Celestia and Luna both seemed surprised that I followed along with Twilight’s explanation. Twilight, on the other hand, continued her confused rambling. “Yes! How?! Can you think of anything that would have caused this?”

I have a couple of ideas as to why, but I’d really rather not tell them anything. “That is strange. And no, not particularly. Humans can’t use magic, so I’m at just as much of a loss as you are.” My arm is a sensitive topic, and I’d like to avoid digging up old wounds as best I can.

I think maybe Celestia was able to see that I was hiding something, as she gave me quite a long stare before finally responding, “I see… Is there anything else abnormal? No potential diseases or other pathogens that might be harmful to ponies?”

“Toxicology has yet to finish their analysis, Your Highness. It may very well take a while for them to piece together his DNA structure.”

“Chimpanzee.” I answered.

They all stared at me.

Perhaps they don’t have such a creature here? Just to be certain- “Species of ape? Black hair. Disproportionately long arms. Relatively slender frame.”

“We know of the species, yes. We are unsure of your meaning, however,” Luna spoke up.

Oh. Apparently I need to be more thorough with some of my explanations. “Compare mine to the blood of a chimpanzee. They should share 99% of my DNA. Should help with the guesswork.”

The doctor scribbled a note down on his clipboard. “I’ll have to hunt around and see if we can find any from some other animal hospitals around the country. To my knowledge, there shouldn’t be any in Canterlot. Chimpanzees are quite rare here in Equestria.”

“If that’s the case, then I think mice share 97% of my DNA, as well. You could try that if you can’t find any chimpanzee blood.” Please don’t fucking ask me how I know that.

“I think toxicology is going to love you for all that help. They’ll have a field day, I’m sure.” Thank Christ.

“Please notify us of any changes you might discover, Doctor,” Celestia said.

He leaned himself over slightly, although nowhere near as much as Twilight was before, “Of course, Your Highness.”

Leaving the hospital felt absolutely fantastic. I’ve always hated doctor appointments, and even though Grand Cross was somewhat pleasant, I didn’t want to go back there again. We walked back over to the palace, but this time instead of the throne room, we made our way to the opposite wing where I was brought into a room very akin to a classroom. And by that I mean it was basically just a classroom with only one desk in there. I guess they prep rooms like this for ponies going to take this test. For what purpose emulating a classroom is supposed to serve is beyond me, but I took a seat at the small desk all the same.

Apparently Luna and Twilight didn’t follow us in, as Celestia was the only one administering the test to me. Unfortunate, as I probably would have handed Twilight back her bag had I known she wouldn’t be joining us. She levitated a sizable stack of papers on my desk along with a scantron sheet and pencil to go with it. Oh, they use these too. That’s convenient, but then surely pens must be widespread by now. Why does Twilight use a quill and ink? Maybe she panicked and it was the first thing she thought of to write with? But then that doesn’t explain all the quills and ink in this bag. Curious.

She interrupted my train of thought that I’d definitely have to bring up to Twilight later. “There is no time limit, so feel free to work out your answers as much as possible, to the best of your ability. I’m sure I need not mention this, but there will be no help from outside sources in any way. You must answer these on your own. You may start whenever you’re ready.”

Ah. I guess that’s why the other two didn’t follow us in.

Celestia must’ve done this millions of times before with a statement worded like that. As I dug into the test, I found most of the questions insultingly easy. There were 250 questions total, and I’d say maybe 30 of them actually made me think for more than five seconds. Most of them were things I’d find in a grade school textbook back home, like how rain forms naturally, or the rate at which gravity applies to the planet. Considering I didn’t feel any lighter or heavier being here, I had assumed it was the same rate as back home, so that made things a bit easier. Some were reading comprehension, spelling, there were some logic puzzles I found fun, but they were the more common ones you’d find back home, so I knew the answers to all the ones showcased in the test. There were some actual, pure pattern recognition questions strewn about with the logic puzzles, but nowhere near as many as I was expecting. The only questions that gave me trouble were the more culture-oriented ones, and the ones about magic. I hoped that the lecture Twilight gave me a few days prior was enough for me to work out some of the problems, but I guess I’d just have to see.

After about maybe an hour and a half of test taking, I walked up and handed her the scantron.

Celestia studied me before asking. “You’re already finished? You can always review your work to ensure your answers are correct.”

“It’s fine.” If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. No amount of answer-changing will fix that. Even if it did, artificially inflating my score does nothing for me.

She nodded and the two of us went over to a machine in a nearby room. She fed the scantron through it, and the machine started to whirr and rumble. Once it stopped, it spit out a sheet of paper from the top. Celestia levitated the paper up to her, glanced over it and was about to say something, before looking back at the sheet again. It seemed like she was staring at it far longer than required.

“So...?” I finally asked, trying to prompt her into a response.

She levitated the paper back down onto the machine as she turned back into the room and motioned for me to follow her. I did as asked, and her horn lit up a brief, bright light. She had teleported a stack of folders and some paperwork onto the desk I was using. There were some blank sheets of paper on her desk, but none on mine.

“There is one more stage to this test before we can know your total score.”

“Which is…?”

“Please, sit back down.” I did as instructed as she continued. “The context for this portion is as follows: there has been a series of crimes believed to be committed by the same pony, but that pony has yet to be caught. Using the information provided, catch the culprit in question. Provide evidence and a motive in your response.”

I get the feeling this isn’t a test. “So do I just tell you my answer when I’m done?”

She simply nodded.

I picked up a loose page titled, “CASE REPORT” and gave it a brief glance. The case in question was about a teenage pony who was murdered, and that the crime was believed to be linked to a number of other similar cases that had shown up sporadically in the span of the previous 20 years or so from the most recent one. I looked at the autopsy report to find that she had been asphyxiated, same thing with all the other victims. What reinforced the belief of a link was the presence of an X being slashed into every victim’s right forehoof after their death, along with some strange sorts of notes. This led to the edgiest name imaginable being coined for the killer: Blood X Murderer, commonly abbreviated as BXM in some of the reports.

The only thing particularly noteworthy about the types of victims was the fact that they were all female teenagers, in other words none of them were of legal age. Otherwise there was no common thread between any of those murdered. Total body count was eight, with three being pegasi, four earth ponies, and one was a unicorn. There were two things that did strike me as odd, though. The first was the lack of any toxicology reports on any of these victims, and the second was that the same detective was on every single one of these incidents. One detective Virtuous Breeze, a male unicorn that looked like he hadn’t joined the force long before these killings started. He was lead detective for all of them, even the first one when he was really young. That’s strange. I wasn’t sure how they did things here, but typically no one gets solo cases like this so early into their career. I was no exception. I had to wait a couple years before I started getting cases to handle on my own, and even then it was only when we were overworked.

What was also strange was at every murder, a nonsensical note was left with each of the victim’s bodies, totalling to eight notes. Initially I didn’t see anything special, but when I aligned them properly, the first letter of every line vertically spelled out, “I A M C L O S E T O Y O U.” I had to jumble them and cut one out from the order in which they were received, though, as one note contained a “P C” that didn’t seem to fit anywhere in the message. It must have been an abbreviation for something, as I doubt someone would go through all the trouble of a coded message only for it to be rendered meaningless by a singular, out-of-place note.

I checked the suspects for each case and found that there were absolutely no recurring suspects throughout the cases in question. Theoretically, there should have been at least 1, but the lack of any was a little puzzling. With a sample size of 8 murders, typically patterns show up in and around the crime scenes, and I’m not just talking about these notes, either. The locations of the murders themselves play an important part as they tend to indicate where the killer can be found, like if they live in the nearby area, or if they’re travelling and renting a nearby hotel/motel room. I remember my mentor once had to deal with a case where she had a killer elude her for longer than he realistically should have due to abusing that old Zillow app. He would rent a room for a week on the app then immediately swap to somewhere else, and it continued for- what, a little over a month, I think? Primarily due to the app developers’ unwillingness to provide the killer’s transaction history and personal record on the app. Funnily enough, she didn’t even need the information to create a pattern to track him down. Old fashioned detective skills go a long way, I’ve noticed. That’s the sort of pattern I’m talking about, and it was strange that there didn’t seem to be one regarding these cases.

Something wasn’t quite adding up, so I went back and took out all the autopsy reports and descriptions of each of the crime scenes only to find that these notes simply weren’t mentioned. In any of them. At all. As far as these crimes were concerned, the notes were irrelevant, not related to the case. So why were these notes in the case files, then? I looked back at the first “CASE REPORT” I picked up and immediately found my answer. I would have laughed, but I wasn’t done yet. I still needed a motive.

What reason would he have to specifically target teenagers? I looked back at the notes, thinking they might have been love letters of some sort, but no. That wasn’t it. There weren’t any apparent clues in the autopsy reports, either. Then as I was browsing through some of the case descriptions written up by this Virtuous Breeze pony, I found something. A small slip-up of sorts. He mistakenly describes one of the victims as being pregnant, which the autopsy report for that victim didn’t mention. The next victim was pregnant, which the autopsy confirms, but no mention of it was made in that case report. Huh. I guess that was it. Also I guess technically the body count is 9, not 8.

The whole thing took me about 45 minutes, but I finally cracked it. Honestly, it was kinda fun. Just like digging into cold cases back home, certainly one of my more niche pastimes.

“Got it,” I finally said.

Upon my words, Celestia immediately perked up. “You... do?”

I hummed in affirmation. “This is an actual cold case, isn’t it?”

She didn’t say anything to me. Not that she needed to. I intended that question to be rhetorical.

“Well, either way...” I brought up all the evidence I would need to explain my point up to the desk she was sitting at. “There’s a little note that the killer left, as I’m sure you’ve already noticed.” I rearranged the notes I pulled to spell out the message. “‘I am close to you,’ clearly put there to try and taunt whoever was looking for him. But here’s the interesting part: none of these notes were mentioned in the initial descriptions of the crime scenes. In other words, they weren’t found with any of the bodies at any of the scenes.”

Her brow furrowed as she glanced over the case reports for each of the incidents I pulled out of their files. I continued, “Meaning these notes were placed in the case files for each incident after they already happened, with the exception of one: the most recent case.”

She looked at the case report in question and read over the contents as I explained further. “This report mentions that these notes were in all the other incidents, yet that’s clearly not the case based on the other reports themselves.”

“Which means?” Celestia looked at me expectantly.

“Take a look at who the lead detective is for each case.”

She levitated all the case reports in front of her and realized the same thing I did some 30 minutes ago. “Virtuous Breeze? You are accusing a detective of this?”

I nodded. “Given the information on hand, he’s practically the only one that could have, especially considering every case report was made personally by him. Also, I’m not sure how long these have been around, but every single one of these incidents is missing a toxicology report. There should have been at least some archaic version of it in some of these cases, but there isn’t a single one. Suspicious. He would have the ability to be able to cover up something like that since he was lead detective in every case, no?”

A grave look soured her face as she morbidly asked, “Motive?”

I pulled out two of the incidents with their corresponding autopsy reports. “Looks like these two happened within the span of about two months, while the others were far more spread out over the two decades in question.”

She glanced at the cases for one Cloudy Day and Sugar Fall. The first was 15 and the other 16. “This led to a slip up: Virtuous Breeze mistakenly labels Cloudy as pregnant when Sugar is- or, was, I guess.”

“I don’t believe I’m following.”

Christ, you really need me to spell this out for you after all that? No wonder this case is unsolved. “Why would he assume that someone who isn’t pregnant, that the autopsy report confirms isn’t pregnant, to be so at all? What possible reason could he have for that assumption?”

She frowned at me. “Just tell me.”

I held back rolling my eyes in exasperation. “He’s a pedophile.”

She seemed completely taken aback.

“By your definition and mine. He most likely engaged in romantic relationships with all of his victims and the second he thought they were pregnant, he killed them to cover his tracks. Pedophilia must be as stigmatized here as back home if he’s willing to kill his victims to cover it up. Meaning, I bet if you search his home, you’ll find some particularly revealing pictures of children and other items of that nature hidden on the premises. Individuals like that don’t just start with victims. It’s a long build up of degenerate sexual urges that go unchecked.”

Celestia took a moment to process the information before finally saying what she wanted. “...You’re absolutely certain about this? This is a grave accusation you’re making.”

“The only other possibility I can think of is that it’s one of his superiors that he’s either covering for or couldn’t expose for some reason or another. Either way, he, at the very least, took part in these crimes. Don’t know how old these cases are, but look into all of them if they’re still alive.”

She levitated a blank page over to her desk and began swiftly writing something I couldn’t make out. Once she was done, she rolled it up and it was blinked away in a flash of light.

“30 years,” She finally said.

“Hm?” I cocked my head at her.

“This case has been haunting us for the last 30 years. And you find two prime suspects within an hour.”

I shrugged again. “Helps when you have as much practice as I’ve gotten. It is my dayjob.”

A thought occurred to me upon my explanation of my abilities: it was my dayjob. Now that I had been gone from it for so long, it’s likely they would have fired me by now. Not to mention the fact that the longer I wait, the more likely it is that I would experience major difficulties readjusting to my life back home. If I was gone long enough, I would legally be declared dead and my will I had in place would take into effect, transferring all my former assets to the one recipient of said will. In other words, not only was I a ticking time bomb here, but if I waited too long to get back home, I’d realistically never be able to go back. At least not to a normal life, anyway. What a morbid situation.

She frowned at me. “It’s truly frightening how comfortable you are with subject matters such as these. Are events like this so common in your world that you have all become desensitized to them?”

“I have. That tends to happen in this line of work back home, especially in larger cities.”

She sighed. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Thank you for your help, Franco. It has been monumental with this case.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I take it that wasn’t necessary for my score at all?”

“No. My apologies,” Celestia chuckled. “It was actually because of your score that I requested your aid.” Her horn flared up again as the page spit out from the machine earlier flew into the room, stopping when it got to my eye level. I took the page. “Each question on a G.I. test is worth two points, totaling a score out of 500. You scored a 480.”

“...I’m assuming that’s a good score?”

Her expression turned serious. “It’s the highest score I’ve seen since my mentor, Starswirl. He was the one who helped optimize the test structure over 1000 years ago. Had your temperament been different enough to make you hostile to our land, our ponies… I would not have hesitated to strike you down, or in the best case scenario, turn you into stone with a score like this.”

I… I believe that’s the first time I’ve ever been threatened for doing well on a test. Honestly, at this point I can’t tell if she’s just messing with me or not. “...Then I suppose I’m lucky that my years as a detective made me respect the law.” Speaking of which… “Out of curiosity, what’s the crime rate like in this country?”

“Very low, thankfully.” Her expression remained neutral as she spoke. “Robberies and petty vandalism once every so often are the typical cases the Royal Guard gets called on to resolve. Anomalies like the BXM case you reviewed are exceedingly rare. The last case similar to this occurred nearly 400 years ago now.”

They only get serial killers once every three-and-a-half centuries? I’m both jealous and concerned. I can’t really do my job here if there’s no crime to stop, but I guess I should be happy about it, all things considered. “There was far more work for me back home. It’s good to see that isn’t the case here.”

“Indeed,” she said. A troubled look slowly filled her facial features before she spoke again. “...I’ll be honest, Franco Herman. I’m not sure what to make of you.”

“Beg pardon?” Where did that come from? I know she’s been trying to size me up all day, but why lead with that so suddenly?

“Between the letters I’ve received from my faithful student and our interactions today, I can’t quite piece together exactly what drives your actions. One moment you’re saving Twilight from a blow that could very well have been fatal, and the next you’re actively distancing yourself from her and her friends. You have followed the laws of the land and went out of your way to make sure nopony got hurt when you dealt with the timberwolves, yet your interpersonal behavior borders on being completely asocial. It’s almost as if you’re purposefully trying to get ponies to dislike you.”

She’s far sharper than I gave her credit for. I’ll have to keep my guard up around her. Moreover, just how many letters did Twilight send about me? I wasn’t quite sure what to even say to her in response. She was closer to the truth than I ever would have admitted to anyone.

“Perhaps something happened to you in this war you mentioned partaking in to cause this sort of behavior?” She pushed the subject way too far for my liking while staring at me.

“That- That’s none of your business…” I had thought that, but didn’t want to say it out loud for a variety of reasons. The first and foremost of which being that she was the active ruler of the land that I was technically illegally entering. It was her business to look into me to determine if I was a threat. I knew that. She had to have known that, too. Only problem with that for me was she couldn’t look into me without my help, and I wasn’t ready to talk about that war. Truthfully, I don’t think I ever will be. I could go the rest of my life never seeing, hearing, mentioning, or even thinking about it ever again and that would be the closest to happiness I think I’ll ever get. It is not a memory I’d like to relive, hence why the words flew out of my mouth before I could even stop them. It was a knee-jerk reaction that I, unfortunately, couldn’t control. Not even in front of the Princess.

I saw her frown and immediately expected a lecture, or maybe for her to lash out and demand a reason. She could have just ordered me to talk and I’d be compelled to. What Celestia said instead took me by complete surprise.

“War never tends to be very pleasant, no matter the planet, or culture. I cannot say I blame you for not wanting to talk about it. My apologies, Franco.”

“Uh…” I blinked. I hadn’t expected her to be so understanding. “Thanks.”

She nodded. “Should you ever wish to speak about what troubles you, know that you need only ask and I would be willing to listen. As would my sister, and my student, I’m sure.”

I don’t know why she spoke as though she didn’t know they would. They had already said as much, and with Twilight’s apparent numerous letters to her as well as her sister no doubt communicating her intent, she should have known. Maybe she was just being facetious? Some sort of strange regional dialect maybe? I guess there’s always the possibility that she simply doesn’t communicate with her sister that frequently. What was a little more pressing at the time, was how far these ponies were willing to go to take care of someone that wasn’t their own. There’s no way I’m that important, and Celestia herself even said she’d have no problems killing me should I step out of line, so why?

“Why go so far for me?” I just couldn’t wrap my head around why they cared so much. Just Twilight doing this would have made at least some amount of sense, but why these Princesses? At least Luna seemed like she had an ulterior motive for helping me, but the other two… I get that nightmares are much more of a problem here than back home, but I don’t think it warrants this kind of a response, does it? Were I that much of a threat due to my nightmares, they could just kill me and she knows it. I need to know why.

“I could ask you the same,” she said. Her expression was something I had yet to see from ponies thus far, so it was difficult to make out. Not pained, but esoteric? Melancholic? Celestia is someone that I’ve always had trouble reading, so that didn’t exactly help much. “Why risk life and limb to save others you knew nothing about? You didn’t know whether we’d be hostile, and stood to gain nothing from the encounter upon succeeding.”

“Those wolves attacked me, too. I was simply defending myself. Your student and her friends just so happened to be in the way.” You’re also not answering my question.

Celestia frowned. “Then why pull Twilight out of harm’s way? Surely my student means something to you if you’re willing to keep her safe?”

“More numbers means a higher percent success rate on the battlefield, although I’m fairly certain my intervention was unnecessary in that instance. Your student seems competent enough that she could have handled that attack on her own.” Considering what I’ve seen that girl do in the library, an attack like that seems like it would have been child’s play to deal with in comparison.

Silently, she stared at me for much longer than she needed to. It started off neutral, but as it went on, a grin slowly crept on her face until she finally burst out into laughter. Hearing her suddenly laugh was… unnerving. I had yet to hear it, so at the time, I thought it was some maniacal laughter, as if she finally figured out whatever horrible thing she planned on doing with me.

What in the fuck is going on right now?

She stifled it long enough to begin formulating sentences, “And to think I was worried over nothing!” Celestia laughed a bit more before looking at my no doubt confused face. “I’m sorry, I’m just laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I hadn’t expected you to be such a convincing liar, Franco. No doubt a skill you picked up from your profession.”

...What? “What?” What?

She chuckled. “You seem to care about my student- and potentially those around you- far more than you let on. Why you insist on distancing yourself from others admittedly still eludes me, but I am most certainly relieved that my initial assumptions about you were incorrect.”

There’s over one million words in the English language, and I don’t think I can string any of them together appropriately enough to describe just how fucking lost I am right now. She’s... partially right, but how in the fuck did she come to that conclusion?

Celestia smiled at me, rising from her seat and headed towards the door. She motioned for me to follow her. “I’d like you to stay in Canterlot for the time being, just in case Royal Bastion needs any follow-up examinations from you. Come, I’ll show you to where you’ll be staying in the Palace.”

Confused, dumbstruck, and a little frustrated, I stood there staring at the seat she was using. Getting a mental run-around was so far beyond unexpected from what I had been dealing with thus far that it didn’t even cross my mind as a remote possibility. The only person who had been able to do something like that to me was Liz, my mentor. She’s far better than I at catching criminals, and I daresay she’s the only reason I’m good at my job. Sure, she had some weird ways of training me sometimes, but there’s no doubt in my mind if she were to take this G.I. test I was given, she would have gotten a perfect score. Potentially even higher, were that possible. Liz just had this way with words… It’s almost indescribable how talented she was at weaseling confessions out of people. I remember her getting offers to join the FBI on multiple occasions, but she turned down every single one, though I never figured out why. I owe her a great deal for looking out after me when I was starting out, and I only hope that if I don’t make it back, whatever I leave behind for her is enough to make up for it. Interacting with Celestia, in some strange way, almost makes me feel like I’m talking to her instead. Between their strict-but-caring attitudes, to their regard for the well being of others, even their weird senses of humor… They’re eerily similar. At least now I can understand why Twilight looks up to her.

“Franco?” Celestia pulled my thoughts back to the moment at hand. I don’t know for how long, but she had been staring at me with this worried look on her face. “Are you alright?”

“...Yeah.” I shook off my lingering thoughts as best I could and followed her to the door, taking a brief detour to grab Twilight’s bag I left sitting near the desk. I took one last look at the empty seat on my way out.