My Life on a Cassette Tape

Grabbing another cup of punch, I moved back to the party, Fluttershy at my side on all fours. I sat down, and gave her a rub on the head, much to her delight. Setting the plate and cup on the table, I looked over the other ponies. The party had gone on for several hours, and the atmosphere was showing it, finding fewer and fewer things to do. We had played many board games, some card games, and had made a few more debaucherous scenes unfold that would need some serious cleaning up later on, but over all, the place was calming down now, as some ponies grabbed their clothes and filtered out into the night air - soon to forget the fun parts of the night.

The table had only a few ponies left at it, and was the majority of the party at this point. Twilight and Starlight, who both had few responsibilities in the morning, were kissing as part of a dare; Rainbow Dash was watching eagerly, the pony who had dared them; Pinkie Pie was shoveling cake for little reason more than she gave for anything else she did; and then there was Raven, Spry, and Berry, who were simply talking to each other. There were a few other ponies here and there, most of them in the middle of making up excuses to finally leave, except for the lanky stallion and pudgy mare - who I had learned were the owners of this establishment.

I grabbed the case from the table that held the recorder, eyeing it in idol curiosity as I petted Fluttershy. I could only wonder where it had come from. Sure, tape recorders were decently old hat, but still, magical artifacts usually didn't date back to the 980's, with most that I knew landing in the early part of the first century if not in eras prior.

"What do you got there, Crescendo?" Twilight asked. I looked up at her, noting that she and Starlight had now finished kissing. "You've messed with it several times throughout the night, is it something important?" I thought back, and I did have to admit that most times I felt distracted, I had begun to look at the recorder, though usually just the case it was in.

"It's... well it's something old I recently bought. It has some weird properties that I don't quite understand and I guess my mind just drifts back to it when it has a spare moment." I said, not wanting to spill the beans. This wasn't sexual, so I knew she'd recall this all, and admitting to having an arcane object that itself held the incriminating evidence of your use on it was less than the best of moves.

"Oh, what kind of properties?" Twilight asked, looking at me with a glimmer of curiosity. I was going to have to distract her, but I wasn't sure that anything in my power might thoroughly distract her enough from her new prize. Perhaps I could record over that little exchange or-

Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked a stallion and three mares. What surprised me, and likely my three mares, was how they acted. The mares took off their clothes like I had expected, but the stallion simply walked in, stopped, and stood there, looking about. He wore a plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans, looking quite unassuming - except he somehow had entered and had not been effected by the recording. I slowly stood to my feet, my hand absentmindedly clicking the three dials into the proper placement, a feeling in my subconscious alerting me to something. Like a wolf sensing another wolf, a hunter spying a competitor, every fiber of my being raised to alertness as this stallion walked in, his plane sneakers not making the heavy footfalls I thoroughly expected from someone in this type of scenario.

"Hello! I'm sorry, but you're a teensy-weensy bit late for the party!" Pinkie said from her seat beside me, apparently having none of the same nerves firing as I did as the first lock clicked open.

"Oh? But the party doesn't begin until I'm here," He looked over towards us, my fingers working the second lock, "now does it?"

"Of course not!" All the ponies cheered, except for me.

"O-of course not!" I stammered a half second slow and the second lock ticked into place. He cocked his head at me and slowly moved up to me. I did my best to steady myself as he approached, knowing that if I showed fear he'd know something was up. He held something... some power - and it didn't touch me, much like he seemed untouched by my recording.

"Who are you?" He said, looking me up and down as I slowly moved both my hands behind my back, taking a confident pose as I worked the last lock, feeling time ticking slowly down.

"Oh, me? I'm Testing!" I said with as much confidence as I could muster, frantically moving the dial through its options.

"Testing?" He asked leaning in closer.

"Testing One Two Three!" I replied, maneuvering one of my legs to show him my cutie mark, ashamed at my own stupid name, the only one I could think of to fit my mark on short notice.

"Testing One Two Three, ey? More like..." I felt the lock click open, an gripped the case tightly to make sure it didn't fall open, "Testing My Patience." He said, a sly grin coming across his face. "So... Testing, what do you got behind your back?" He asked pointedly.

"M-my back?" I asked, knowing already the gig was up as I opened the case and maneuvered the recorder out into my hand, grabbing the mic in between fingers of the same hand. I brought out the case and showed it to him. "I-it's a case. I forgot to put m-my mic into it, stupid me!" I chuckled, even as I felt the grooves of each button on the recorder, searching for the record button.

"A case." He said blankly, looking at it, and then back to me. "Expecting karaoke tonight?"

"Y-yeah, th-thought Pinkie might put on a karaoke machine and we could all h-have a g-good laugh." I smiled, lowering the case back to my side as I found the circle indentation. "N-no machine either way, so I g-guess there w-wasn't much of a l-loss." He certainly seemed less than amused.

"You see, that's funny. Isn't that funny?" He looked about to the room, and everypony, including me, nodded our agreement, some chuckling in response. "You see, that's funny... 'cuz few ponies have the balls to lie to me." His tone shifted to a far more menacing one as he loomed over me, lording his height advantage that I was becoming ever more acquainted with over me. "So how about you act like a pansy and tell me the truth?" My eyes widened, and I knew it was now or never.

Quickly, I slammed a fist into his gut, sending him stumbling back a few paces as I rushed to the other side of the room, clicking the record button. "The Elements of Harmony, my mares, and I all suddenly teleported out of town!" Turning in the last second, I saw the mysterious stallion drawing out a notepad, staring me down even as Twilight's horn glowed as a complex spell was fired off. A second later, the mares and I were all in the outskirts of town, the evening air striking us all at once while several of the mares fell to the floor, no longer supported by chairs.

"What in the Hay!?" Applejack, who had left the party several minutes ago, shouted as she spun around. Beside her, Rarity flailed up from the ground, wearing a loose sleeping gown and a night mask. I looked back to the recorder, and quickly spoke into it.

"All of their clothes had also been teleported on to them." I quickly clicked the button, and looked at the mares about me, breathing deeply as I collected myself, my clothes slowly fading in around me.

"If I may ask, why am I out here instead of in my bed?" Rarity asked as she removed her mask.

"I... I don't know." Twilight began as she licked a finger and pressed it against her sizzling horn. "One moment we were at Pinkie's party, and the next I felt the overwhelming necessity to teleport us all and these guests out here." She looked at me, and then narrowed her eyes at me. "What did you do?" Shoving the recorder into my pocket, I looked at the mares before me and held up a hand, more expecting that I'd need to defend myself from them than expecting to stop them with the simple gesture.

"Th-that... that stallion was bad news. The WORST of news! I... I don't know how or why, but he set off all the alarm bells and... and he's immune." I needed to tell them, I needed them to know. I needed more than just my mares, I needed these mares, I needed the Elements of Harmony.

"What do you mean? He seemed pretty chill. Are you just jealous that he was the life of the party and not you?" Rainbow asked, seeming less hostile towards me than the slowly advancing Twilight.

"Listen..." I paused gathering my thoughts, attempting to sort them out as I absentmindedly fiddled with the recorder. "I... I have a magical artifact." I said, starting somewhere as I searched for more words, finding them coming slowly. "It allows me to... alter perceptions. I can make things... happen." The mares, besides my own, seemed less than convinced. "It's a magical artifact, okay? I don't fully understand it!" I exclaimed, gripping said artifact in my hand, backing away from them... well, more so Twilight as she advanced.

"And you've been using it." Twilight noted as she grew closer, now just mere steps away from me. Her horn sparked a few times, as if she was firing off a spell on silent. "I thought I caught wind of anomalies, but this is beyond the pale. What did you do?"

"I... I-I-"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" She asked, her eyes blazing in anger as she bore down on me.

"I made the party sexy!" I blurted out, to the shock of all but four ponies. "B-but I was careful about it. H-he, he wasn't affected though, and then he used his own thing and I wasn't affected! Th-there's something-"

"You used... an ancient and powerful artifact to make a party SEXY?!" Twilight roared.

"It was pretty sexy..." Rainbow admitted, before being glared down by the furious Twilight. She flinched away, much the same as I was as the furious alicorn returned her gaze back to me.

"You abused the powers of an ancient relic from who knows how many eons ago to get down and dirty at a party?!" I cringed away from her, my hand gripping tighter on the relic in question, momentary fear taking me as I noticed give, fearing I had broken it. "What then? No, let me guess. You were going to make us your SLAVES!" I looked at her with fear in my eyes, only to have that fear replaced by an even greater fear as I felt the tell tale signs of a massive shift in the world. Pulling out the recorder, I noticed the recording button was pushed in under my pointer finger's grip.

"But i-i-i-t w-" I gripped my head, feeling everything shifting more. "It wasn-n-n-" I struggled, needing to spit out my line, needing to free these ponies, even as they fell to their knees, forced submission taking their minds captive. "It w-w-w-w... was true..." Too late... my tongue rebelled. "The six mares were my new slaves." I said, my words not my own as tears began to flow from my eyes. I fell to my knees.

I hadn't wanted it. I hadn't wanted this.

"...unless I say so or they too are my slaves..." The words rung in my head as I defeatedly released the recording button. I then looked up at the six new slaves, sadness the only emotion I was capable at the time. That was, until I recalled the stallion in Sugar Cube Corner.

"We have work to do."