I'm Cherry Sweets, earth mare.

My husband Jack Hammer and I had been married for just two months, and most of that time, he'd been away on business. He'd been back for two days and he was leaving again on a red eye that night. We went to dinner and came home drunk as buck for a quickie before he had to head out. So far, marriage for us was a lot of missing each other when he was away, and then a whole lot of you-know-what when he was home.

"I've always wanted to try it in an elevator." I slurred as we waited for the elevator.

"I was thinking the same thing." Jack snickered. "Sounds kinda hot, right?"

"I-I dare you to do it."

"I dare you to do it."

"Hehe, dare accepted."

We had a 124-minute window for sex, and I planned to make the most of it. But, as the elevator opened, our blind neighbor, Cranky Doodle Donkey was there standing by.

"Good evening, sir." Jack uttered.

"Wha?" Cranky grunts.

"Good. Evening." I repeated.

"Huh? Who's there?"

"It's me, Cherry! And Jack, too!"

"Why are you shouting?!"

I was not ready for a blind guy to step outta the elevator. Wait, is it okay to say "blind" these days?

"We'll see you around." Jack nodded, escorting me inside.

"Wait, h-hold the door for me." the donkey muttered.

Honestly, did I want to wait for the hard-of-hearing blind donkey? No. Was I going to? Yes.

Because I'm not a monster.

"And don't be like those other young, spunky punks that make me wait til the elevator comes back down again." Cranky huffs.

I figured our elevator sex plans were on hold.

At least for a few minutes.

[Mins. Left for Sex: 121]

"We're already holding it, sir." I said.

There, we watched the hopeless old donkey bump into the wall and stagger further and further AWAY from the door off to who knows where.

"Cranky, where are you-"

"Ah, there we go." he sighs, pulling his mail out from his slot. "I got it."

At that rate, I was never gonna have sex again.

"Okay, here he comes-"

"Aaaaaand he drops his mail."

"Aww, no, no." I whined. "I'll get it for you."

[Mins. Left for Sex: 114]

"Ah, thank you, little missy."

"Here you go."

"Where is it?"

"She's holding it right in front of you." Jack sighs. "She placed it in your hoof. Right there, yes. Got it."

I just sulked in Jack's embrace as we both waited for the grumpy elder to reach the door tapping the wall with his walking stick.

"Alright." I said. "Roght through here. Nope, that's me you're poking. There you go. You got it?"

"I got it." Cranky nodded. "Thank you for holding the door for me."

"Hey, our pleasure..."

Finally, we were in the elevator, and we were 11 floors away from very rushed but very needed sex. Until-

SCREEEEEECH!!!

The lights flickered and the elevator stopped.

"Ugh, are you kidding me?" I groaned.

"Wha?" Cranky uttered. "What happened?"

"Looks like we got stuck." Jack said.

I couldn't believe my luck. That's what we got for being good Sa-mare-itans.

"That's a pity."

[Mins. Left for Sex: 108]

"Babe, don't mess with the buttons. You'll make it worse."

"Well, it can't get any worse." I hissed.

One thing to know about me:

Patience is not my strong suit.

"Okay, guys, everypony cover your ears." Jack said, preparing to tap the alarm button.

RIIIIIIIIING!!!

Jack picks up the emergency phone and dials the number.

"Hello." the phone answered.

"Yes, hi!" Jack hollered under the loud ringing. "Uh, we are somewhere between floor five or six!"

"Eh, it's gonna take a while to get somepony out there."

"How long?!"

"Looking at a half hour."

"C-Can you at least turn off the alarm? Okay, thank you."

Finally, the alarm stopped.

"Hang tight in there."

"Okay, thank you."

"What he say?" I asked.

"Says it's gonna take a half hour."

"Oh, don't raise the young lady's hopes now." Cranky scoffed. "This time of night, a 'half hour' means an HOUR."

At that moment, I was in a mood, but Jack knew just how to make it up to me...

If we ever got outta the elevator.

[Mins. Left for Sex: 101]

As I sat down in the corner of the elevator, Jack joined me and began......massaging my thigh.

"Are you trying to turn me on in front of an old guy?" I whispered.

"No." he chuckled. "Maybe."

"What happens if something goes wrong and we plummet to our deaths?" Cranky ponders.

".......charming." I said.

I admit, I had been a little pissy, but Jack was warming me up again. And it was becoming tougher and tougher to keep my hooves off of him.

And I figured Cranky was blind and a little hard of hearing.

"Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Jack whispered slyly.

[Mins. Left for Sex: 097]

Could we do this?

"Maaaaybe." I giggled. "When else are we gonna do it? You have to be at the airport, and it's a 35-minute ride. Do the math."

"Yeah, but it's crazy."

I figured if we were quiet enough, what could go wrong? You would've done the same thing. Or at least tried it.

Honestly, though, it's a lot trickier than it sounds. But once we got started in the corner...

[Mins. Left for Sex: 000]

All we had to do was stay QUIET.

"Oh, Jack." I moaned.

"Wait, shh." Jack said, halting his thrusts.

"W-What is it-"

"Shhhhhh."

For a second there, it was pretty weird. It was like he was staring right at us.

"Cherry, why is he looking at us?"

"Well, he's looking in our direction, but I don't think he's looking at us." I stated.

"No, no, no, he's looking at us. I know it, I can feel it."

"Hehe, quit your worrying and focus here. GIVE it to me good."

"Okay, you're right. You're right."

We were staying as inconspicuous as we could. Jack was delicately pounding me like there was no tomorrow and I was loving every minute of it. However, it really wasn't working out like we planned when Cranky ends up idly tapping Jack's shoulder.

"Don't move, don't move." he gulped as the donkey continued to poke him.

"Did.....did I hit somepony?" Cranky calls out.

"Uh......yep, that's me, Jack."

"Oh, my apologies."

"No, you're good, dude." Jack grunted as he adjusts himself. "Happens to the best of us."

Cranky didn't suspect a thing.

I've never been one for public sex, but I gotta tell ya, the danger of it was pretty arousing.

"Oh, yeah." Jack pants. "I-I'm gonna.....Cherry, I'm gonna-"

"Mmmmh.....J-Jack, I......ughhhhh, it's so good!"

"Huh? What's happening?" Cranky slurred.

"O-Oh, uh, I-I'm just trying some taffy Jack had." I stuttered. "It's really good."

"Eh, not much a fan of taffy. Messes with my gums, you see."

It was by far the most insane thing I have EVER done in my whole life. And it was amazing. And there, as we were recovering from our shamelessly naughty little deed in each other's tender embrace-

WHIRRRRRR!!!

"Oh, finally!" I exclaimed.

The elevator started up and on the other side of the open doors were the fire stallions armed and ready.

"Alright, ponies, come on out." one of them said. "You'll have to take the stairs the rest of the way."

"Fine by me." Jack laughed. "Thanks for getting us out, guys."

"Cranky. Doodle. Donkey."

There with the fire stallions was Matilda, Cranky's clearly irritated wife.

"Uh, Cranky, the doors are open." I stated.

"Say, huh?" he muttered.

"They opened the door. Your wife's here."

"Cranky, that is not funny." Matilda snorts. "I've been looking all over for you! Cherry, Jack, I am so sorry."

That's when we started to realize.

"He says that ponies give him free stuff when they THINK he's blind!" she continued.

Matilda yanked the glasses off, revealing the smug look on the cheeky geezer's face.

We had just given an old donkey a free show.

"Much better than my shows." the donkey chortles. "Much better."

And this might sound weird, but it wasn't my finest performance.

"Uh.....yeah, that was.......that was bad." Jack cleared his throat.

I took the stairs for the next few weeks.

All 11 flights.

Cranky invited her and Jack for Hearth's Warming that year, but they declined.

Too soon...

Author's Note

The role of Cherry Sweets: Mutter_Butter