My name's Alice, independent human woman of Equestria.

When I finally left home, I realized having my own place wasn't all that different.

"Hey, you are home."

"Hi, sis."

My sister, Hazel still didn't knock and was still coming into my apartment uninvited.

"You can't be that lazy, Al." she chimed.

Oh, and yes, my sister always sounds like she's auditioning for a tampon commercial.

"On Tuesdays, I can." I shrugged. "It's my one day off without classes or work, and today I made a vow to stay on the couch unless one, I needed to go to the bathroom, and two, if Channing Tatum calls and tells me he loves me and is coming over to shower."

"Pffft, we gotta get going." Hazel scoffed.

"Where?"

"We're going to see Grandma."

"Ha ha ha ha........no. We're not."

Hazel seemed to think that being older meant that she could boss me around...

Forever.

"Yes. We are." she nodded.

Tampon commercial, right?

"I get why you should go. You've gotta keep your kids in her will." I said. I just don't understand why mom and dad insist that I go. I mean, if I go, I'm just gonna get berated the whole time."

"It's not that bad."

"Says the golden child with the perfect husband, the perfect kids, and the perfect Grandma-approved life."

My grandma meant well, but her ideas were a little old fashioned, which meant that at 26, I was supposed to be a mother of THREE and not focusing on my career.

"Come on, let's go, Ally."

I do have respect for my elders, but why can't I respect them from my couch?

My grandma lived in one of those active communities where all these old folks/ponies have too much energy. It just added to the anxiety of seeing her.

"Hi, Grams."

"Oh, Hazel." Grams cooed, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Sweetheart, how good to see you. And Alice, hi."

"Hey, Grams." I said, hugging her.

"I-Is that how we're wearing our hair these days?"

"Uh......yeah, I could get it cut, I guess."

And there it was, a typical comment from my less-than-subtle grandmother. And that's why I didn't visit.

"So, Hazel, how're the boys?" Grams asked.

"Oh, they're boys, constantly getting into everything." Hazel snickered. "I feel like I need a frequent customer punch card at the emergency room. I'm there so much."

"And how's your man?"

"Oh, he sends his love. He's sorry he couldn't come today, but he's coaching the boys' basketball team."

I really love my sister, but her life was just so perfect, it made me wanna puke.

"Alice, what are you up to, dear?" Grams said.

"I'm good, I've been busy with school and working both my jobs, but I'm taking some time off to prepare for finals." I stated.

"Mm, in other words, not dating anyone yet, huh?"

And suddenly we were off again. She got down to the only thing she thought was important:

My chronic singleness.

"Just been busy with the whole planning my future thing." I sighed.

"Well, I hope your future has a nice man in it, dear." Grams giggled. "If he doesn't die of old age before you have a chance to meet him. You know, a girl her age, she really needs to stop entertaining this never ending parade of guys with no future prospects."

"S-Still here, Grams."

"Ally's been working full-time, on top of a full course load, Grams." Hazel said. "We've all been impressed with her."

"She needs to settle down and find someone to take care of her."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you."

I was focused on being a strong, successful woman. I was too busy and too tired to think about guys.

"Hey there, ladies."

"Sandbar, you're here." Grams chimed. My knight in shining armor. This is Sandbar, my nurse. These are my granddaughters."

"You must be Hazel." the stallion uttered. "And you are.........Alice?"

"Y-Yes, nice to meet you." I stuttered.

Damn, one look at her nurse had me thinking, "How soon can I move in here?"

"Well, your grandmother just loves talking about both of you." Sandbar laughed. "Oh, I've got your pills here."

Suddenly, I could see myself visiting grandma a little more often.

"It was very nice of you two ladies to come visit, I know it means alot to this little missy."

I don't know what it was, but I just couldn't leave it at that.

"I-It's not like I have a boyfriend or something else that demands alot of my time." I shrugged. "In fact, I'm not even currently seeing anyone. Makes the house really lonely sometimes."

That sounded so much better in my head...

"O.....kay." Sandbar uttered.

"I-I mean, just with, like, school and work and making time for family, it's all about priorities."

"Oh, I couldn't agree more."

"Yeah..."

We had a total connection. I felt it, he felt it...

And.....my grandma felt it.

"Sandy, don't you have to check on some other residents?" Grams asked.

"Ah, yeah, I should go." he said, trotting out the door with his cart of medication.

"Heavens, girl, you're about as obvious as a heart attack."

I didn't know what Grams' deal was. One minute, she wanted me married. The next minute, she was cockblocking me! But I wasn't gonna give up. Later, after the visit, I caught up to Sandbar.

"Oh, 'sup, Alice."

"Hey, I-I feel like I came off as a total weirdo back there."

"It's okay." he chuckled.

"And I don't know why my grandma suddenly turned on me either, I-"

"I'm sure she just didn't wanna lose any time with you gals."

"Yeah.....maybe, heh."

Oh, my God, he was making me SO awkward. It was like I'd never spoken to a guy before.

"S-So, you here every day?"

"Yeah, but Tuesdays are my light days. There's always a field trip, so I get more time to myself."

"Well, maybe I'll just have to start.....visiting my grandma on Tuesdays then."

"Oh, I'm.......sure she'd like that."

"Mmhmm...cool."

"I'll see ya."

The following Tuesday could not come fast enough.

"Hey, Grams."

"Oh, Alice, what are you doing here?"

"Can't a girl come see her grandmother?"

"Well, of course she can."

I'd been sitting for exactly four seconds when-

"Hi, Sandbar." I waved.

"Hey there." he chimed, sitting at our table.

Sandbar had a way of making those scrubs look so good, and that's not easy to do. Anyways, I started going every Tuesday. And each time.......I'd up my game a little bit. You know, a revealing top, short skirt, the works. Then on that day, as we were all just playing cards-

"Sandy, would you mind getting my sweater?" Grams said.

"Oh, sure thing." he nodded.

"It's in my room, on my bed."

"Gotcha covered."

"Grams, what was that for?" I hissed.

"I don't like the way he was looking at you." she complained. "It's very forward. Besides, how can he take care of you? It's not like he's a doctor."

So one minute, I'm gonna die old and alone, and the next minute, a nice guy with a good job isn't good enough for me?

"Sandbar, wait up!" I huffed.

"Hey."

"What Grams did was horrible and I-"

"No, it's okay. It's all- MM."

I couldn't help it. He was so cute, and the fact that my grandma didn't approve of him made him even sexier. After that moment, I didn't miss another Tuesday. I'd swing by, say hi to Grams, stomach about four to five insults....

And then I'd meet Sandbar in the linen closet.

I admit, I'm not proud of slipping whiskey into Grams' tea during another visit, but I was just trying to get back to the linen closet.

"Yes!" I roared. "Faster! Gimme all you got!"

But each time was BETTER than the last.

After a while, we got really good at being discreet.

"Ohhhhhhh!"

"Oh, Alice!" Sandbar moaned.

Or, so we thought...

"Hello, ladies." I greeted, meeting up with Grams and her gal pals.

"Ally, have you heard the latest?" Grams giggled.

"What's up?"

"Evidently, there's been some activities going on in the linen closet."

"O-Oh, i-in the linen closet? W-What kind of activities?"

"Well, naughty ones from the sounds of it. Apparently, the woman is quite a squealer."

"She must be for Pear Butter to have heard it!" one of Grams' friends cackled.

"W-Will you all excuse me for a sec?" I gulped.

Wouldn't THAT be something to see on an employment file:

"Caught having sex with resident's granddaughter."

So, I met up with Sandbar at our usual spot and I told him everything. The smart thing would have been to get outta there, immediately, with my pride and my dignity. But Sandy worrying about getting caught?

Kinda hot.

And he didn't need much persuasion...

"N-No, don't grab.........o-oh, alrighty then."

"Knew you would see it my way." I purred.

And just like that, afterwards, we finally came out...

Of the linen closet, I mean.

"Oh, shit." we winced.

There, at the end of the hallway was everyone/pony staring at us, jaws dropping.

"H-Hi, guys." I said.

I couldn't believe it. Every guy/stallion treated Sandbar like he was a hero.

Let's just say my grandma would NEVER let me live this down.

"G-Grams, I can explain."

According to her, she was so embarrassed, she left the retirement home.

And moved in with me.

Grams eventually came around to liking Sandbar again...

Just in time for the wedding.

Luckily, she found a new home.

Alice and Sandbar visited her separately. And on separate days.

Author's Note

The role of Alice: Bronycommander.