Some days are easy. One rolls out of bed feeling refreshed, and everything just sort of goes right. Items on the to do list get dispatched with haste and precision, and the universe refrains from throwing any major curve balls.
"SHINING! COME OUT AND FACE ME!"
Standing up from his half-eaten breakfast, Shining Armor knew today was not going to be one of those days. The plan had been to finish breakfast, make his inspections of the guards, meet with the accountants to sign off on the budgetary paperwork, and finish preparations for a wonderful evening together with his wife to celebrate their anniversary. Unfortunately, he had neglected to factor a purple alicorn teleporting into the throne room and shouting at him into the itinerary. It was an understandable oversight, as said alicorn's arrival was entirely unscheduled, though far from unannounced.
"SHINING! SHOW YOURSELF AND FACE JUSTICE, YOU CUR!"
Shining Armor's ears flattened against his head under the wall of sound as he left the adjoining dining room and entered the throne room to greet his unexpected guest. It seemed Twilight had been practicing her Royal Canterlot Voice.
"What is it Twilight?"
"Aha! There you are! I knew I'd find you here!"
"Yes. This is my castle. Where I live. Another brilliant deduction, sis." Shining was not typically this acerbic, but ponies also didn't typically interrupt him before he'd finished his breakfast and coffee. "Now, what is so important that you had to teleport in here, tearing straight through the security wards that I now have to replace, and wake the entire Crystal Empire?"
Twilight stood tall and spread her wings in a stance of royal authority, clearing her throat.
"I have come to claim what is rightfully mine! What you sought to deny me by fleeing and hiding up here in the frozen north!"
A half-full mug of coffee levitated in from the dining room. It would be needed to untangle this web of nonsense.
"Twilight, I have no idea what you're talking about. Also, I'm not hiding. I got married, moved in with Cadence, and am currently co-ruling a city-state."
"And neither your walls, nor your armies, nor your alicorn wife will keep me from claiming my prize!"
A hoof moved to massage a white forehead that was quickly developing a headache.
"Twilight. I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about. Could you please just get to the point? I have things to do today, so—"
"My Crown! I want my crown back!"
From the point between his eyes, Shining's headache quickly spread like water through tissue paper.
"What? Your crown? Didn't you shove it back into the Tree of Harmony? What in Celestia's bountiful backside does this have to do with me?!" He took another drink of coffee. It had done a poor job of making things make sense so far, but maybe he simply hadn't had enough.
"No. Not that crown. I speak of my first crown. The one you stole from me. THE CROWN OF THE SIBLING SUPREME!"
Between the absurdity and the startling effect of a magically summoned thunder clap, Shining Armor narrowly avoided spitting out perfectly good coffee. Instead, he managed to force most of it down the correct pipe while giving his lungs a dose of caffeine in a manner rather more direct than the one in which they were accustomed. Twilight simply stood imperiously as she waited for her brother's sudden coughing fit to pass.
"SERIOUSLY?!" Shining Armor shot his sister a look of utter incredulity. "You came all the way here just to reignite some silly foalhood competition? So, what? You wanna have a kite flying contest or—"
"A duel."
"What?"
"I challenge you to a duel! A swordfight! Now, prepare yourself!"
Shining armor closed his eyes and took another sip of coffee as he got ready to remind Twilight that he was the ex-captain of Celestia's royal guards and she had never so much as touched a sword before. Unfortunately, the sight that awaited him when he opened them changed that response to simply spitting coffee all over the room.
Twilight had reared up onto her hind legs, and there, rising from beneath her teats, up past her stomach to her lower chest, and wagging impertinently in the open air, was a giant, meaty, purple cock.
Shining armor took a few moment to collect his lower jaw and remember how words worked before replying.
"What is that?"
"I-what?" Twilight's bombastic Luna impersonation cracked for a moment. "What does it look like? It's a dick, Shining. I'm pretty certain you know what a dick is."
"Yes, yes. That's all quite clear. I guess what I mean is...how?"
"MAD Science, obviously."
"MAD Science?"
"Yeah, Magical Awesome Dick Science."
Shining Armor's hoof was back to massaging the headache that had encompassed his entire being.
"Right. With you so far, I suppose. But I guess, getting to the real question, why? By which I mean, WHYYYY?!"
"Uhh, for the swordfight? Please, do try to keep up. Now," Twilight cleared her throat and resumed the Royal Canterlot Voice. "UNSHEATHE YOUR WEAPON!"
"Absolutely n—"
"Shining! Are you in here!" A familiar voice rang out along with the echoes of hooves on crystal as Cadence entered from an adjacent hallway. "I wanted to talk to you abo–OH!" Her eyes drank in the scene before her, darting left and right between the two siblings. The hoof that had moved to cover her mouth soon proved inadequate as her momentary expression of surprise grew into a smile so large it bordered on unnerving. Something sparkled in her eyes. "Oh, Shining! And here I thought you'd never be able to top last year!"
A light blue glow of magic encased Cadence's horn and shot outward, sealing all the exits in a shimmering, impenetrable, sound proof barrier. Then she quickly took her seat on her throne, clapping her hooves together in giddy anticipation.
"What?! N-No! Twilight was just—"
"About to crush your husband with superior swordplay and retake what is rightfully mine. It is good that there should be a witness to our duel and my victory."
Like a drowning sailor to a piece of driftwood, Shining Armor clung to his last shreds of sanity in this ocean of madness.
"Twilight...no. You can't...You can't just teleport in here, wave a magic dick around, and call it a duel. That's...that's not how anything works!"
"It's not?" A very old looking book on dueling etiquette popped into existence beside her with a bright flash and Twilight quickly began flipping through pages. "I'm pretty sure that...oh...no, wait. You're absolutely right. Oh, boy. This is certainly embarrassing."
"Well, I'm more than willing, desperate even, to completely forget this ever—"
"I almost forgot the most important part!" There was another bright flash as Twilight disappeared, only to reappear directly in front of Shining Armor's face, hovering upright and slightly above the ground. "Sir! You have insulted my honor!" Twilight declared before giving a mighty twist of her hips.
*THWACK*
The sound echoed off the crystal walls of the throne room as Shining Armor stood paralyzed, unfamiliar with any precedent in proper response to being slapped in the face by the giant cock of one's little sister.
"And I demand satisfaction!" Twilight turned briefly to look at Cadence. "How was that?"
"Nailed it!" Cadence shouted back.
"Thanks!" She quickly turned back to her brother. "Now, as I was saying before. Unsheathe your blade and have at thee!"
Shining Armor fought heroically to ignore and repress everything about the slight sensation of dampness on his cheek, growing ever more apparent by the second as the momentary stinging faded, as well as the overpowering musky scent that emanated from it. Somehow, his screaming remained internal and his shit at least loosely together as he finally choked out some words.
"Twilight, if you really want this crown so much, then you can just have—"
"You shall never have it!" Both siblings' heads turned toward Cadence. The toy crown in question appeared on her head. "What's mine is his and what's his is mine. It is our prize now, and it is quite the accessory for the royal bedchamber. My brave knight and champion will defend it to his last breath!"
Shining Armor's face twisted into equal parts confusion and betrayal, while Twilight's settled on outrage.
"Filthy Slattern! You dare defile the Crown of the Sibling Supreme with your lascivious ways!" Twilight's gaze jerked back to Shining Armor. "For such debased villainy, both you and your whore shall taste my blade!"
She gave a few dramatic hip thrusts, causing Shining to take a few steps back from the dribbling purple head bobbing in front of him. He attempted to think of a way to deescalate the situation, but his thoughts struggled to fight through the thick fog of the salty, musky aroma that seemed to be everywhere now. That and the growing tingling sensation between his legs. He quickly glanced down.
"Hey!"
Two separate magical auras were making themselves quite busy. A magenta glow was pulsing and constricting up and down the length of his stallionhood, which was well on its way to full readiness. Meanwhile, a baby blue glow kneaded and massaged his two large testicles until they positively pulsed with a need to release their pent up payload. Any effort he would have put into voicing objections was too busy directed toward staying on his hooves under the telekinetic onslaught. By the time they subsided, he was left hard as a dragon's tooth.
"I believe in you dear! Defend my honor!" Cadence called from her throne, giving her husband one final telekinetic smack on the backside.
"Finally." Twilight gave one look at her brother's own throbbing mast and nodded. "En Garde!"
With a flap of her wings, Twilight surged forward, leaving him barely enough time to leap backward and dodge a vigorous thrust. Undeterred, Twilight pressed the assault with a flurry of quick strikes that kept him on the retreat and off balance. His own throbbing erection certainly wasn't doing anything for his dexterity either. Another strike came in toward his face with no time to move his back hooves, so he reared back and twisted his upper body out of the way.
Unfortunately, physics and anatomy required that his lower body twist the opposite direction, turning his dodge into a parry. Another meaty *Thwack* echoed through the throne room as both weapons collided and rebounded off one another, sending vibrations rippling all the way down to the base. Both opponents staggered, but with her wings, Twilight recovered her balance sooner and renewed her assault, scoring a few prods and slaps about her brother's head and chest. He fought to recover his defense under the bludgeoning. As he twisted out of the way of yet another blow, he heard and felt the reverberations of another impact, but this time it wasn't a parry.
The throne room was suddenly still as Shining Armor stared in horror at the stunned face of his little sister who he had just, entirely unintentionally, cock slapped across the face.
"Oh, Celestia! Twi, I'm so sorry. I swear I totally didn't mean to do that."
Twilight silently raised a hoof to her damp cheek, wiping off the glob of precum perched there. With an unnecessary level of eye contact (which Shining Armor would define as any at all), she proceeded to slowly lick it off her hoof. After a brief pause, as if considering the flavor, she shouted "Touche'!" and resumed her offensive.
After another half-minute or so of fleshy bludgeoning, Shining Armor finally got the idea to do what he should have done from the start. His horn glowed and Twilight's next swing rebounded off of the bubble shield that now surrounded him.
"Alright, that's enough! It's time to—"
"Boooo!"
He jerked his head sideways at Cadence who continued to boo from her throne.
"Bad form! Bad form!"
Any reply he would have made was cut off by a surge of energy impacting his shield. He turned back to Twilight, who was firing a sustained beam of magic that was putting his shield abilities through a rigorous stress test. He grit his teeth and focused. Twilight may have been a magical prodigy and an alicorn, but shields were what he did. And he was good at what he did.
Unfortunately, his shield wasn't quite up to two alicorns. Cadence fired a quick beam of her own to assist, and the shield popped like a soap bubble. He staggered under the magical feedback and Twilight didn't hesitate to take advantage. With a powerful flap of her wings, Twilight flipped herself forward in an aerial somersault, channeling the angular momentum into a crushing vertical strike that caught him on the head and drove him to the floor.
Now on his knees and trying to shake the stars from his vision, he felt two hooves grip the sides of his head. The two Twilights recombined into a single image just in time to shout something.
"ONE THOUSAND THRUST TECHNIQUE!"
"Wha—?"
Shining Armor quickly learned that opening his mouth had been a grave tactical error, finding it promptly stuffed with magical horse cock. The first thing to hit him was the taste. Tangy and slightly salty as the pre covered tip raced straight past his tongue. Next was the stretching fullness in his throat. Miraculously, he didn't start choking to death. There was the faintest start of a gag reflex, immediately paralyzed by the tingle of magic, though he was unable to see which Alicorn was responsible for it from his current vantage point. In fact, the only thing he could see as he worked on redirecting his breathing through his nose, was a pair of perky purple teats flanking the base of the long meaty shaft that was currently running into his throat. A pair of teats that began to sway and jiggle as said base began to draw back and rapidly thrust forward again.
Though Shining Armor attempted to get to his hooves and extricate himself from this rather compromising and tactically disadvantaged position, he soon found maneuvering in the midst of a savage face fucking to be something easier said than done. Each forceful thrust was enough to disrupt any attempt to establish balance, even without his sister's musky scent flooding into his nostrils and making his head spin. All he could do was try to maintain his breathing and watch the hypnotic rapid swaying of the teats in front of him as Twilight continued to jackhammer into his throat at a frankly dizzying pace. He could feel every texture and contour of Twilight's dick as it glided over his tongue in each direction. Over the frantic wet slapping noises, he thought he could just barely hear moaning from the direction of the throne, but most sensations were beginning to blur together into a lust filled fog.
As impossible as it seemed, Twilight's pace actually began to increase, and he felt something flare deep in his throat. His eyes shot wide as hot sticky ropes erupted in his esophagus and down into his stomach. A high protein supplement to his interrupted breakfast that filled his core with warmth. Still continuing to cum, Twilight pulled out slightly so he could get a proper taste. Her salty spunk was soon rapidly overfilling his mouth and encroaching into his sinuses and out his nose. Then her tip was finally free and spraying the last few streams into his face as he coughed and sputtered, trying to get his airways clear again. Twilight graciously allowed her thoroughly ruined opponent a moment before speaking.
"Victory is mine! Now I shall be taking my trophy and—"
"Best two out of three!" Cadence called out while vigorously mashing a hoof between her hind legs, from which a clear stream ran down over the throne to the floor.
"Wait, what?!" Shining Armor yelped, having just gotten back on his hooves and attempting to wipe some of his sister's implausibly voluminous jizz from his face and mane.
"Very well then!" A glow pulsed around Twilight's horn and her flagging cock surged back to full mast. A predatory gleam shone in her eye as she visually examined her cum soaked brother. "Since we have already engaged a frontal attack, let's see how you handle a rear assault!"
Shining Armor's pupils shrank to pinpricks as Twilight disappeared in her signature flash of teleportation. With more haste than he had ever applied to anything in his life, he spun 180 degrees and lowered his horn, ready to defend himself. Unfortunately, what happened next was something one could never be ready for even with a thousand years of preparation. Between his defensive crouch and lowered head, and Twilight's choice to teleport into a hover slightly above ground to begin her thrust, an absurd confluence of angles and elevations resulted in horn meeting 'lower horn' in the most intimate possible way. Shining Armor looked up to find the tip of his horn inside the tip of Twilight.
"Uhhh...." A heavy silence set over the room. "Sorry! Sorry! Let me just...uhh..." Shining Armor attempted to back up and dislodge himself, but the tight walls seemed to clamp down on his horn in response, sending a mind numbing shock wave of pleasure straight to his brain. He scrabbled to keep on his hooves, a task not made any easier by his own massive erection swinging wildly and slapping against his belly.
He made a second attempt to break free, but the grip around his horn remained firm. In fact, it almost felt like it was trying to pull him in deeper. He looked up and gasped as he saw another inch of his horn disappear up the hungry slit. He stared in horror as he watched the opening stretch impossibly wide and surge forward, swallowing his horn and clamping around the top of his head like a hungry anaconda.
"AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
Shining Armor flailed about wildly in a blind panic as he was steadily consumed, his high pitched expletives quickly muted to muffled screams as the rest of his head was engulfed. From there, it was about 10 seconds of fruitless resistance until his kicking back hooves disappeared into the hungry maw. The intense pressure on every part of his body restricted any further movement at this point. He could only continue his muffled screaming as he was pushed along. To where? He hadn't a clue. Presumably to whatever pocket dimension Twilight's supply of cum came from sans testicles. He wasn't exactly in the proper state to start digging into all of the anatomical absurdities being perpetrated at the moment.
Eventually, he reached the end of the tunnel and was deposited into some kind of wider chamber. Fleshy walls still pressed tightly around him, but they were merely constrictive instead of crushing. It was also still pitch black. Far more pressing was the fact that it was also completely filled with semen that he was currently submerged in.
Shining Armor took a brief moment to reflect on his life, trying to pinpoint where it had all gone wrong. What decisions had led him to his current predicament and imminent death by drowning inside his little sister's magical cum reservoir. As the air in his lungs began to dwindle he started to thrash, unable to see the dramatic hoof and face impressions he was leaving on the outside of Twilight's abdomen for Cadence's amusement.
"Oh, don't be such a baby," he heard Twilight's distorted voice address him. "That fluid is hyper-oxygenated, so you won't drown."
Wait. Did that mean what he thought that meant? No. No way. But the burning in his lungs was getting to be more than he could bear. Finally, reflex won out and forced him to take a gasping breath. The milky fluid raced down his throat and filled his lungs. A few unsuccessful coughing attempts later, and his lungs finally settled down. It was slightly easier if he worked on consciously NOT attempting to inhale or exhale, but it was hard to ignore the fact that his mouth, throat, lungs, nose, sinuses, and everything was completely suffused with cum.
No longer in immediate mortal peril, Shining Armor refocused his attention on desperately kicking and making muffled demands to be let out.
"Don't worry! I'll save you, sweetie!" Cadence called out, rising from her thoroughly soaked throne.
"Oho?" A new challenger? Well, Shining, it seems your filthy crown defiling tramp has stepped in as your second. I'd be happy to give her more of the same."
"Silence, foul villain! I shall rescue my husband and then drive your wickedness from the realm!"
Shining Armor rolled his eyes at the bad community theater production playing out and gave a sigh, or at least as good an approximation of one as could be made while submerged with lungs full of jizz. He could only pray that Cadence would hurry up and make with whatever magic was going to get him out of this situation so he could get started on repressing this entire ordeal.
"Very well! Reclaim him if you can!"
There was a sudden flurry of movement in the pitch darkness. When it subsided, he could feel a gentle vertical line of pressure pushing in from outside the flesh walls of his prison. A focal point of pressure seemed to move steadily up and down the vertical path, leaving him to wonder what magical technique Cadence was employing.
"I'll have you out in no time, Shiny!" Cadence reassured as she continued to drag her tongue up and down the length of Twilight's shaft, pushing it gently into her abdomen. Twilight simply laughed derisively at her feeble efforts until Cadence dipped down low past the base to Twilight's still present marehood, giving a single rapid lick all the way to the top. That elicited a brief shudder. To Shining Armor it was a sudden earthquake.
Cadence grinned as she took Twilight's tip in her mouth and dove forward without hesitation. While she proceeded with her vigorous oral assault, her magic opened a second front on Twilight's teats and lower lips, batting and massaging without mercy. After two minutes of this treatment Cadence finally ceased and Twilight was able to catch her breath and speak.
"A-An impressive effort, but if that is all you have, then victory will be mine."
"Oh, not to worry," Cadence replied. "That was merely the warm up."
Shining Armor was once again left dizzy and disoriented in the sudden motion of the fluid filled darkness as Cadence launched forward and tackled Twilight onto her back. When the motion ceased, Cadence stood perched above Twilight, sopping wet marehood dripping onto her tip.
"For you, my brave knight!" Cadence declared before plunging downward and impaling herself upon Twilight, diving straight down to the base in a single swift movement. Their hips met with a loud slap, caused mostly by the collision of their teats, which provided some minor cushioning for the impact. The breath had barely escaped Twilight's lungs, driven out by the force of the blow, when Cadence was already rising to make another strike. It was followed by another and another, each as savagely powerful as the last.
As Cadence continued to ride Twilight without mercy, Shining Armor's situation continued to develop with the same luck that had come to characterize his day so far. All the jostling about earlier had resulted in his face being placed directly below Twilight's pelvis, where it absorbed the full force of every one of Cadence's slamming thrusts. With every bounce, he could feel every contour of his wife's nether regions through the warm, soft barrier of his sister's walls as the two fucked with abandon.
"AH–AH! GONNA! AH! SAVE YOU! AH! SHINING!" Cadence continued to gasp between breaths.
Twilight only gave a low moan in response as Shining Armor felt small currents begin to stir around him. Without warning, Cadence shifted position, spinning around and planting her hooves on the ground. Twilight followed her lead and soon found herself mounted and pounding away at Cadence from behind with increasing ferocity as the latter used her forelegs to continue slamming her hips backward.
Those small swirling currents soon become a powerful uniform pressure that pushed him back into the narrow channel he had entered from. He made another attempt at a beleaguered and defeated sigh as the walls constricted around him once again, pinning his limbs to his sides and his still adamantine erection to his stomach and chest, as the explosive buildup behind him gradually pushed him along. As he continued his journey, he could feel the crushing pressure around him suddenly double as Cadence's walls clamped down on Twilight as she clamped down on him. The effect pulsed back and forth over his head and body as Twilight continued to thrust in and out of Cadence, moving further and further down to his back hooves each time as he gradually inched along toward the exit.
Though he still couldn't see anything, he felt a shift in the texture around his head and upper body as he finally began to emerge. That was the last straw. His ears filled with the distorted sounds of two mares screaming as Cadence's inner walls pulsed and buffeted his upper half, while a series of spasms ran up Twilight's length and over his still trapped lower half. It didn't remain trapped for much longer. The surge of pressure finally dislodged him like a cork from a champagne bottle, propelling him into Cadence's spatially distorted depths on a wave of his sister's cum, with a fair amount of his own mixed in as the dual assault finally pushed him over the edge and prompted his balls to wring out every last drop of their contents. The wave of combined sibling cum carried him deep into Cadence's womb, where he promptly passed out.
***
"And that's how Flurry Heart was made!"
Twilight, Shining Armor, Cadence, and most of the rest of the hundred or so party guests stared in open mouthed horror, the remainder having fainted or become too occupied whispering "Why, damn you? Why?" at their erections while sobbing quietly in a corner.
"But anyway, HAPPY CUTECEÑERA!" Pinkie Pie shouted as she fired her party cannon.
Flurry Heart said nothing and continued to stare catatonic into the middle distance as confetti rained down around her.
***
"And that's how I got banned from the Crystal Empire!"
Author's Note
Well, here it is. My first real attempt at a clopfic. Let me know how you think it turned out. I naturally went with an absurd comedy, because I think most porn is just inherently ridiculous and not to be taken overly seriously.
Let me know if you think this story needs an actual non-con tag. I certainly didn't set out for that at the start, but when you're writing a fetishy porn comedy with an 'only sane man' character as the lead, that may just be unavoidable.
