Stallions and Hens

Dash stared at her phone, looking quite exhausted. She appeared to be scrolling through something. The mare was laying on the floor while the TV played with something she didn’t seem to be interested in. Gilda was on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.

“Dash.” The griffon looked down at the mare. “Are you seriously just going through dating apps.”

“Mmmmhmmmm.” The prismatic mare replied.

“Silly Dashie, You’re not going to find someone that way.” Gabs giggled from her spot cuddled up to the blanket-covered catbird.

“Then why do all these dating sites say. Hey, this many people found love because of our site.” Dash craned her neck around to look at the pair of griffons.

“Dash.” Gilda blinked. “That’s basic marketing.”

“Basic marketing is bullshit.” The pegasus huffed. “How are you feeling, by the way.”

“Ugh… If you told me months ago that getting pregnant would make me feel like this, then I’d’ve stayed on the pill.” Gilda grumbled.

“But G! Think of all the good things.” Gabs gasped.

Gilda simply raised a brow at the other hen.

“Well CC has been super comforting and romantic and shit.” Gabs grinned. “Like cooking for you, and cuddling up to you, and kissing you just because.”

“Mmmm… Fair.” Gilda grumbled.

“So, hey, if I’m doing this wrong, what exactly is the right way to do things?” Dash sat up and stretched.

“I don’t know, meet people? Meet people preferably not on sites that seem to be used more for hookups rather than love.” Gilda snorted.

“Like, going to a coffee shop or looking up somebody on social media or something.” Gabs offered.

“Is it so obvious that I don’t know what I’m doing?” Dash blinked.

“Yes.” The pair of hens said in unison.

“Ouch.” Dash winced. “Not being very gentle.” She chuckled. “Maybe I should get some advice?”

“Not a bad idea.” Gabs nodded, smiling at her.

“Awesome so… how did you and CC meet?” Dash asked.

Gilda face-taloned. “CC… Baby, I can’t deal with stupid right now.” She called out.

“Someone being stupid?” CC called back, coming into the room with a tray of peeled jumbo shrimp and some sauce to dip them in place in a small glass bowl in the center of the tray. “Should be tasty, and might satisfy that itch of yours,” he said to Gilda, putting it in front of both the hens on the table. “I know how you birds are about seafood.”

“Oh, my fucking hero.” Gilda gasped and leaned over to immediately grab a few shrimp.

“Dash is being stupid.” Gabs said. “Dating sites instead of any actual connection. And her first thought of who to ask for advice was Gilda about how you two met.”

CC barked out a laugh and sat in the armchair nearby. “Dash, don’t do that,” he said to the prismatic mare. “We were stuck with each other in school because I was one of the few trusted to tutor her in the subjects she needed to pass. Our relationship is one borne out of circumstance. We get along because of things we did with and for each other, it’s not something to emulate on a whim.” He smiled over at Gilda. “I mean, I taught her about science, she...well, she was the physical one. And things snowballed and escalated.”

“Uh huh.” Dash nodded while blinking. “Maybe I should ask Flutters too.” The mare got up and headed upstairs.

“She didn’t listen to a thing.” Gilda said flatly.

“I noticed,” CC sighed, slumping in the chair. “Well...maybe Flutters will get through to her.”

Flutters and Snow were having a wonderful time. There was a nice little diner downtown, that just so happened to be attached to a fancy new hotel. Said diner had a specialty salad topped with salmon. Which was the very thing that Flutters and Snow were sharing, along with a nice bottle of wine.

“You didn’t have to bring me here.” Flutters said with a shy smile.

“Well you mentioned how much you like fish, and it’s hard to find a place that actually does it well.” Snow said, scooping a little more salad onto his plate.

“Well thanks anyway.” Flutters nodded. Then her phone pinged. The noise made her jump and she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Who is it?” Snow asked, furrowing his brow a bit.

“Dash.” Flutters said with a small sigh as she tapped at her phone. “She needs some advice.”

“Is everything going okay?” He replied.

“Yeah, yeah. She just doesn’t know how to do the whole dating thing.” She said, rolling her eyes a bit. “She just wants to jump right to the relationship part.”

“But that’s not how anything works.” Snow blinked, looking a little dumbfounded.

“And that’s what I just said.” Flutters shook her head. “Then again, she’s always been this bull-headed since we were kids.”

“I believe it.” He replied, taking a bite of his salad.

“I love her to death, but she can be… a bit dense?” She winced at her own word choice and looked at her phone after it pinged again. “She’s loyal and caring, but tends not to think through some things and she likes to just jump head first into whatever she wants to do.”

“She needs to find somebody who can slow her down a bit.” Snow nodded. “She’d be a bit fast paced if I were dating her, which I’m not.” He added quickly.

“It’s fine.” Flutters giggled, then glanced at her phone again.

“So, what did you say?” He asked.

“I said. Dash this isn’t a race. Take this slowly. Rushing anything will only end in a broken heart. I hope that you can find the person of your dreams. And remember, take this slow.” She read.

“That seems pretty straight to the point.” Snow nodded.

“I wasn’t too rude, was I?” Flutters asked, looking at him, clearly worried.

“No, no you’re fine.” He shook his head.

“Oh good.” She visibly relaxed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged. “We can get back to our date whenever.”

“Take it slow?” Dash furrowed her brow as she stared at her phone. The mare sat in a cushy chair in Star Buck. The coffee she’d gotten was getting cold, not that she really drank any of it. “I don’t really do anything slow.” She huffed, frowning.

She did her best to look inconspicuous as she glanced around the coffee shop. It wasn’t that full, mostly people using the free wi-fi. She swore she could see a couple hipsters. (If their facial hair and fedoras weren’t a dead giveaway, she didn’t know what was.) There were a few mares chatting about something around one of the small tables. There seemed to be some kind of meeting between a few stallions in suits, along with briefcases. Dash giggled a bit at the thought of a buck of business-stallions just sitting at some coffee place for a meeting.

She sighed as she relaxed a bit. People watching wasn’t too bad, baring somebody doesn’t call her out on it. Her mood soured when she saw a couple making out in the somewhat hidden corner table. She frowned, sighed, and got up. “Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea.” She huffed, starting for the door.

The moment she opened it, though, she walked in. A mare that made even the confident Dash pause.

She looked fairly normal. A sky blue mane and tail, white body, lithe, not any bigger in the bust department than her, and with emerald green eyes. She seemed to have a fine sheen of sweat on her skin and workout clothes…

But it was the feeling of raw confidence and strength in those coiled muscles, much like a snake ready to strike, that made Dash reconsider just walking out.

Dash blanked. She didn’t know what to do, to say. She just stared at the mare as she walked to the counter.

“Heya Hot, you know my order,” the mare said with a smirk, leaning on the counter. “I need it after today, the brats didn’t want to listen to my instructions.”

Dash, not wanting to be too awkward, sat at a chair right in front of a counter that was next to the door. ‘Brats? Does she have kids or is she some kind of instructor?’

The mare waited patiently at the counter for the drink to be finished for her, paid for it, and then did something Dash wasn’t expecting.

She cast her eyes over the coffee shop, found her...and started walking over.

Dash stared wide-eyed. ‘Oh shit she’s coming this way! Be cool!’ “H-hey.” She said with a nervous smile. ‘Nailed it!’

The mare sat opposite Dash and took a sip of her coffee, taking in the prismatic pegasus. After her pull of caffeine, she spoke. “You’re new,” she said. “I’d know your face if you’d come here before.”

“Me? No I… Actually have never been to a Star Buck before. Not normally one for overly-expensive coffee.” Dash chuckled as she relaxed.

“Expensive, maybe,” the mare admitted, pulling another sip from her cup. “But damn, is it effective,” she stated afterwards. “See, I know most everyone who comes here,” she said, leaning back and using a wing to point at various people.

“What? No.” Dash blinked. She gestured a wing at the couple making out in the corner. “Who’re they then?”

“They, would be a couple of ponies from the north and south of town, respectively,” the mare said. “Their jobs mean the only days they have to meet up and catch up are Wendsdays and Fridays, and they’re usually in their own little worlds when they do meet up, as you can see. They start here, then tour the city, usually ending up at the mall and catching a movie.”

“And those stallions there?” Dash gestured a wing at the business ponies.

“One of them is a representative from the local advertising firm,” the mare admitted. “The other one’s new to me, but it’s pretty obvious why they’re here. Informal meeting to just see if the ad firm’s services are what the company wants, or if they’re after something more large scale. Not the first time they’ve done this, this place is a favorite of his.”

“Wow.” Dash nodded. “Ooookay. How often do you come here?”

“This place?” The mare raised an eyebrow. “Every day after my morning job, which is teaching karate to the kids that want to learn. Then I spend an hour just cooling down and relaxing, sipping my coffee. After that, it’s back to the dojo to invent new moves that I can mix into my style.”

“So, you’re a martial artist?” Dash asked, widening her eyes a bit. “Cool.”

“Yeah, they gave up on trying to label the shit I pull off,” the mare chuckled. “Some people tried to get me to register my hands and hooves as deadly weapons.”

Dash burst into laughter. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah,” the mare nodded with a smirk of her own. “Something about how half the things I do would break a weaker pony and I shouldn’t be underestimated.” She shrugged with her wings. “I mean, kudos for recognizing talent, but honestly, it’s not that hard to pull off. You just need the right mindset.”

“You’re great, I love it.” Dash grinned at her, she held out a hand. “I’m Rainbow Dash. Call me Dash.”

“Cloudy Skies, call me Cloudy,” the mare said, taking her hand and shaking it gently. “So, what brings a sprinter like you to a place like this?”

“Honestly, a coffee shop was one of the suggestions my friends gave me when I said I wanted to start dating.” Dash said with a small blush and a chuckle.

Cloudy paused, tilted her head to the side, and blatantly looked Dash up. “Nope, not seeing it,” she stated after a moment. “You shouldn’t have any problems getting someone.”

Dash blinked. “Huh? Why?”

The white pegasus deadpanned at Dash. “Mare, what you need are the right clothes to attract attention,” she stated plainly. “I mean, let’s not sugar coat it, you’re lacking in some assets. But I can tell, you spend plenty of time working out. So something which highlights the care you take with your body will get intelligent stallions swooning over you. Fuck, I might go for you if you took care with your wardrobe, and I normally swing for stallions.”

“I don’t really… do… clothes…” Dash said with a blush. “I… may come back when I find something that works for me?”

“Oh really?” Cloudy’s gaze turned mischievous. “Are you saying that you’re going to go shopping to try and attract my attentions, little mare?” That voice was oozing with both lust and the promise of...a sweaty night. Something Dash had experience with thanks to CC.

“U-ummm maybe?” Dash said weakly.

Cloudy chuckled, stretching a wing around to tip Dash’s face up so she could stare the prismatic mare in the eye. “You’re adorable,” she decreed. “Tell you what. Come back in an outfit that shows off your legs and arms, and I’ll take you home for the night.”

Before Dash could recover, Cloudy drained her coffee cup, got up from the chair, and walked out of the coffee shop. But not before looking back at Dash, winking, and flirting her tail from side to side on her way out the door.

The front door shut with an uncharacteristic quietness. Dash came in and flopped in the chair that Fluttershy normally used. She looked a bit drained to be honest.

“Soooo.” Gabs looked over from the couch. “How did everything go.”

“Well… I met someone.” Dash said slowly.

“Oh?” CC asked, looking over from where he was cuddling Gilda. “When do you bring her home for us to meet?”

“I don’t know?” Dash shrugged. “Her name’s Cloudy and she’s a martial artist. I’m pretty sure she propositioned me to have a great night.”

“Hmm,” CC mused. “Well, at least you have experience in that now,” he admitted.

“I might meet her again.” Dash said with a hum. “Might see if she wants to go on a date or something.”

“Do it!” Gabs cheered.

“Honestly, she sounds like a good match for you,” CC admitted. “She’s strong and she probably knows the effort you put into working out, considering how much effort goes into being a martial artist.”

“Yeah, yeah. She mentioned that.” Dash nodded. “Might go looking for her tomorrow.”

“Good, you won’t get anywhere if you don’t try,” CC nodded once, leaning over to kiss Gilda afterwards. “Hey love,” he whispered. “What do you think of Dash finding a big, strong mare to cuddle?”

“Hmmm?” Gilda somewhat sleepily, blinked. “Oh, tha’s great.” She smiled at the pegasus.

“You feeling okay G?” Dash asked the hen, frowning a little.

“Just feel like shit.” Gilda said with a yawn.

“And are you absolutely sure that it’s because you’re pregnant?” Dash frowned. “Have you even been to the doctor?”

“But we have Snow.” Gabs offered.

Dash blinked. “Guys, I’m normally the dumb one here. Why haven’t we taken her to the doctor yet?”

CC frowned as well. “Because...we just assumed it was part of the pregnancy,” he put word to the unspoken consensus. “Okay, I’ll get my things together. Gabs, you get Gilda to the car. Hospital’s not that far away.”

Gilda helped the other hen up as Dash moved to wait by the door.

Gabs, Dash, and CC sat in the waiting room while Gilda was taken back.

The hen, feeling rather cold without her blanket (or CC) as she sat on the weird bed table thing. The paper underneath her crinkled a little with every movement. The nurse had already checked her height and weight, as well as temperature (she was running a one-oh-one fever) and basic questions about how she was feeling. Thus the hen was waiting for the doctor. She was a bit too out of it to care.

There was a knock and a red earth pony mare with a red-brown mane (obviously wearing a doctor’s coat) came in. “Hi there, Gilda. I’m Ruby Song. How are you doing?”

“Bleeeh.” Gilda groaned and blinked at her.

“I bet, the chart says that you’ve been sick for about a week. Coughing, congestion, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and you attributed that to... pregnancy?” Ruby read off her lap top as she sat on a stool in front of the hen.

“Mmmhmmm. I think all of us have been hit with the stupid stick lately.” Gilda tried to chuckle and ended up coughing.

“It’s fine, we can run a blood test for that anyway. But let me get a good listen.” Ruby said standing up.

Thus the hen went through the regular tests. Checking the ears, nose, and throat, as well as listening to her lungs. Once those were done, Ruby sat back down. “Well, it looks like you just got a particularly bad strain of the flu. The blood test might be able to show what strain it is.” She said with a nod and a smile. “For now, I can prescribe you something to help you fight off whatever you got, beyond that rest and plenty of fluids.”

“Can do. My boyfriend’s been a big help there.” Gilda nodded.

“Great.” Ruby smiled. “Now I hope you feel better, I’ll have Nurse Cinder come back in to do your blood test.”

Gilda came out of the double doors looking as miserable as she looked going in. The three got up when they saw her.

“So, what is it?” Dash asked.

“A flu, more than likely. They’re going to test for it as well as testing for pregnancy.” Gilda said. “I’ll get a call in a few days.”

“We can worry about that, when you get the call.” GAbs said with a nod. “Let’s get you home so we can get you in bed.”

“Heh. Bed.” Gilda chuckled.

“Not like that,” CC chided her. “If you’re sick, you need rest and plenty of food and fluid.”

“Sounds… yes.” Gilda nodded.

“Cc…” Gilda half-whined under the covers. “I’m sick. Feck, I’ve probably gotten everyone sick.”

“We’re not pregnant, we’ll fight it off,” CC countered, treating Gilda like the small spoon. For once. “Just relax. I’m here for you. If you need anything, let me know and I’ll go get it for you, okay?”

“Mmm… Fine.” Gilda mumbled. “Hey, I love you.”

“Love you too,” CC said with a smirk. “Hey. Guess what?”

“What?” Gilda asked, not really wanting to turn to look at him.

“Filed the paperwork,” the stallion said. “Once the license comes in, we’ll be married in the eyes of the state. Then when you’re not sick and pregnant we can have as fancy a wedding as you want.”

She hummed. “Yay… That’s great... Tell me again... When I’m more conscious.”

The stallion hugged her a little tighter, but ultimately lay quiet. Just so she could get some sleep.