Stallions and Hens

Gilda sat swaddled in blankets on the couch, half-zoning to whatever game Gabs was playing for the stream. Chat was donating to the “Let’s see G get better so she can get rawed on camera” fund. Flutters set down a steaming cup on the end table set next to the griffon.

“Thanks…” Gilda said through a particularly stuffy nose.

“You’re welcome.” Flutters smiled as she sat next to the griffon. “Feeling any better.”

“Drugs make me fuzzy.” Gilda said with a small giggle.

“But you’re already fuzzy.” Gabs said looking over her shoulder. If you didn’t know she was nearly twenty, Gabs could’ve been mistaken for a kid.

“Shuddup. Can’t… brain.” Gilda blinked through her haze at the other hen.

“It’s okay.” Gabs giggled and returned to her game. By Gilda’s drug-addled guess, it was some kind of hard RPG.

“Guys… Cloudy is teasing me again. What do I do?” Dash asked as she stared at her phone. “Ever since I gave her my number she’s been flustering me on purpose.”

“Fluster her back.” Gilda replied, blinking at the lounging pegasus.

“That never works.” Dash huffed.

“Maybe ask her to stop?” Flutters asked.

“But I kinda don’t want her to stop…” Dash said weakly.

“Geeze Dash, what happened?” Gabs asked, glancing at her. “You were all confident with Dweeb.”

“Because this is dealing with feelings and stuff, and I really like her. And I don’t want to fuck anything up.” Dash said with a small whine.

“It’s simple.” Snow called out from the kitchen. “Ask her out on a date.”

“Do what now?” Dash rolled around to get a better look at the swol stallion.

“Go out on a date.” Snow repeated. “Go get dinner, see a movie, just doing something that’s low-key and fun. It’s like an ice-breaker kind of thing.”

“I can’t just ask her out on a date!” Dash yelped.

“Why not?” Flutters asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“Because… Dates are… weird.” Dash said with a blush.

“Dude.” Gilda blinked at the prismatic pegasus. “It’s just the two of you hanging out. That’s all a date is.”

“Well when you put it like that it sounds easy.” Dash frowned at her friend.

“Because it is.” Gilda said, popping a talon out of her swaddling to grab whatever drink Flutters brought her. She gave a tentative sniff and took a sip.

“It’s just some tea to help your throat.” Flutters said.

“Mmmph. I’ve tasted worse.” Gilda grumbled.

The phone buzzed in Dash’s hand. Oh. Apparently there was a picture now.

A very...suggestive picture.

How flexible was this mare?

Dash’s face was now bright pink and she quickly closed the message. “She’s gonna kill me.” Dash whined.

“Just ask her out you feathery blue dork.” Gilda grimaced as she sipped more of the tea.

“Fine!” Dash groaned, tapping away at her phone. “Hey, would you like to go out sometime?” She muttered as she typed.

There was a pause for a moment or two, before the typical ellipsis of the other party typing in response showed up. After another second, the response came in.

Finally! I was waiting for you to ask, you ball of cute. Sure thing, when did you want to go out on the town?

Dash smiled, still blushing. I’m kinda free whenever.

Saaame. I mean, I still have an advanced class to teach for about an hour, but after that, I have the rest of the day free. Oh! Did you pick out an outfit to show off your cute butt yet?

No. Not yet. Dash bit her lip.

Tell you what, pick out some nice gym shorts. I’ll try to get ‘em off you tonight~

Are you like this with all the girls. Dash smirked with a nod.

Nah, it’s usually the colts I break~

What makes me so special?

I’ll let you know when you scream my name later tonight, cutie~ Cloudy typed back.

You really want to get into my pants. Dash chuckled.

And you don’t want me there? Clearly my game is off, let me snap another picture.

Wait! Don’t know if I can take another one right now. Dash’s eyes widened. Not that it’s you, but… It’s a bit much for me right now.

Heheh. Okay, I’ll hold off. For now. But you’re getting another one when I’m off-shift~

Why do you do this? Do you like showing off or something? Dash let out a sigh as she rolled her eyes.

Well, yes. I mean, what’s the point in training to be this strong or flexible or talented if you never show it off to anyone? Now give me a moment, I need to go not break a stallion in half. That’s always tricky. Talk to you later~

“She’s going to kill me.” Dash said slowly. “I swear I’m in one of Gabs’s anime shows.”

“She can’t be that bad.” Flutters said, glancing at her.

“I never thought I’d be the one to get flustered like Flutters.” Dash grumbled. “I also apparently need to find something that shows off my ass.”

“I’d have said legs and arms, they’re your most muscular body part,” CC chimed in as he walked into the room with a tray of snacks. Bearing in mind Gilda’s state, they were both simple and good for you. He set it down on the table and sat next to the fluffy cocoon that was his griffon hen, wrapping a wing around her.

“She likes my ass.” Dash shrugged. “So maybe I should wear some sweat shorts or something.”

“That’d do it.” Gabs said with a giggle.

“I’ve got some shorts I use to exercise in,” CC offered. “They’re kinda small.”

“Oh I have more than enough shorts.” Dash said. “I just… rarely… go out in them when I’m not at the gym.”

“Why not show us?” The stallion offered. “Just so we can see if they’re good enough for your new friend.”

Dash got up and sighed. “Fiiiiine.” She begrudgingly walked out and up the stairs.

“Odds on how long she takes?” CC posed to the room at large.

Turned out that it was only a few minutes. “So, does this make me look like a slut?” Dash asked. She had put on a low cut blue t-shirt, with a tank top and sports bra underneath. She also had changed into some tight black booty shorts.

“Well, you’re not really a slut. But they do make you look good.” Gilda commented.

“You do look like you’re about to go for a run,” CC added with a thoughtful nod. “Pretty sure that’s sporty enough.”

“I’ll take it.” Dash sat back down. “Now…. I guess I’ll wait.”

“Hey, you’ll get to spend more time with us.” Gabs said with a grin. “Though, I bet you’re eager to see your new lady friend.”

“More nervous.” Dash said with a sigh.

“Someone finally got Dash to take them seriously in a dating sense,” CC intoned in a deadpan voice. “Now she’s mortal like the rest of us.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Dash rolled her eyes. “I’ve never been good with mushy stuff.”

“Well at least you’re trying.” Flutters said with a small smile.

“Still feels weird.” Dash grunted.

“Lots of things do, the first time you try them,” CC offered. “It’s only when you get practice at them that they feel normal.”

“Well, I hope today’s a good start.” Dash grumbled.

“Any start, no matter how bad, is still a start.” Gilda commented.

Dash blinked at her. “Where did that come from?”

“Cold medicine.” Gilda sniffled. “I feel greeeaaat.”

“Clearly we need to cut back how much we give you, if it’s making you philosophical,” CC quipped, using one hand to stroke the hen’s head-feathers. “Sooner or later you’ll have it licked, then it’ll be back to being flirty, I’m sure.”

“I can still be flirty.” Gilda narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re…. You’re cute.”

“Awwww.” Flutters cooed.

Dash gagged. “Ugh… The sap is killing me.”

“The tree blood isn’t actually killing you.” Snow commented, deadpan.

“Oh fucking-” Dash got up. “There’s something in the water. Everybody’s being weird.”

“Everyone?” CC raised an eyebrow. “I’d like to think I’m still normal, thank you.”

“You’re not normal.” Gilda poked him. “You’ve got a massive cock.”

“That’s sort of what got us in this situation,” the stallion countered. “I’m fairly aware of it.”

“And I’m going to go wait at that dumb overpriced coffee shop.” Dash groaned and headed for the door.

Once Dash had left, CC hummed. “I think we weirded her out,” he quipped.

“-So I said to the guy, you just want to see me put my hoof over my head, and-” Cloudy was saying to the mare behind the counter when Dash walked into the coffee shop.

Dash wanted to say something, but ended up getting tongue-tied and just lined up behind her awkwardly.

“-So naturally, I showed him that I could kick a plank in half over my head,” Cloudy finished smugly. “Pity he didn’t get much of a show out of it, I can be quick when I want to~”

Dash blushed and tried not to think about that too much.

“Anyways, thanks for the coffee, I’ll just-” Cloudy turned and blinked a few times at being confronted with Dash’s new look. She glanced down, then back up and nodded approvingly. “Okay,” she said in a stern voice. “Once we’re done with a normal date, I’m taking you home.”

“Oh, so… I look that good?” Dash gulped. For once, she was actually feeling nervous.

“If it weren’t for public decency laws and me wanting to give you a good time, I’d not wait that long.” She glanced back to the mare behind the counter. “Your tables are sturdy, right?” she questioned the server.

“Yeah, but that’d also require a call to the police.” The server replied.

“And I don’t think I’m all that comfortable with that, if I’m being honest.” Dash said, trying to suppress her ever growing blush.

“Got it, no public sex,” Cloudy saluted. “Still, going to show you a good time later on. But first, a proper date. C’mon.” The mare gestured for Dash to follow her with a wing as she took up her normal spot by the window.

Dash moved to sit across from her. “Not that that’s not exciting, but I really have no idea what to do here.”

“Well,” Cloudy said after a pull from her cup. “I don’t normally do normal dates either. I find someone, they try to take me out to places to impress me, I rock their world, and either they can stand up to my sort of energy and I call them up for round two a week later, or they can’t, and I need to call an ambulance for them.”

“What exactly would impress you? Like, what exactly are your standards?” Dash asked, giving up on trying to stop herself blushing.

Cloudy actually laughed. “Oh dear, you don’t want to try to do that,” she said after a giggle. “I’m black belt in most martial arts that catch my interest, flexible enough to put my hooves over my head. Physically, there’s not a lot to impress me. Now, what would actually win me over,” the mare began with a sigh, “Is a nice date at a diner. Nothing fancy needed. Just a booth with two ponies, some comfort food and drinks, and a conversation about how our days went.” She then snorted. “But every stallion seems to think that a reservation at the ritziest place they can afford is what it takes to win me. First of all,” she held up a hand and extended one finger. “Treating me like a prize to be won is the first mistake, because if you do that, then you’re just another notch on my belt to me. And secondly,” another finger went up, “It happens so often that I’m on a first-name basis with most of the restaurant’s waiters. Personal connections before, ahem, personal connections, are what I’m really starved for.”

“Okay.” Dash blinked, then hummed. “Well… How was your day?”

Cloudy snorted. “The class with the youngsters was okay, they’re smart enough to obey instructions. The more personalized tutoring though…” She shook her head. “One stallion thought he was smart enough to challenge me to kick a plank in half over my head. Thought he could get a show out of it. Idiot.” She smirked a bit. “So then I showed that I was able to kick hard enough to break the wood, no matter where it was in relation to my leg. And I did it fast enough that he couldn’t even dream of seeing anything. That oughta teach him not to try and get something he hasn’t earned.”

“Yeah, you always see some guys thinking they’re tough, then end up getting in over their head.” Dash chuckled. “I don’t know why people think they can just waltz into something just because they’ve seen some kung fu movies or something.”

“To be fair, all the realistic things you see ponies do in a kung-fu movie, I can do,” Cloudy countered. “I tend to make a habit out of trying out the unreasonable things.” She shrugged a bit. “It’s up to others to figure out which ones I can pull off~” she finished.

“Hey, so long as you don’t hurt yourself, I say go for it.” Dash shrugged.

“Eh, when I was starting I did sort of hurt myself a few times, but I bounced back and learned that some rules just don’t bend no matter how nicely you ask,” Cloudy admitted. “So I research a lot before I try things out these days.”

“That’s probably a really good idea.” Dash nodded.

“Yeah, you only have to throw your back out once to learn that lesson,” Cloudy chuckled. She took another pull of her drink before turning the tables. “What about you?” she questioned the prismatic mare. “What’s new in the world of fit mares?”

“Well I got the tartarus fucked out of me the other day.” Dash shrugged. “And that was because I wanted one good dicking before I decided to throw myself out into the dating scene.”

Cloudy raised an eyebrow. “Normally,” she said dryly, “You go out on the dating scene to get a good dicking.”

“Well…..I kinda got involved in a streaming thing with some friends…” Dash said weakly.

“Oh!” Cloudy perked up. “What channel? I could use some good fap material, and if it’s got you, then it’s got good taste.”

“Have you heard of The Nest?” Dash asked, back to blushing bright pink.

“Nope,” Cloudy hummed. “Might have to look it up later.” She winked at Dash. “And skip to the parts with you in it~”

“Hey! Hey! Gilda’s hot!” Dash pointed at her. “She’s a griffon. Like, she’s a fucking Amazon.”

“And clearly taken, if she’s not here with you,” Cloudy countered.

“Yes, however we fucked her coltfriend.” Dash explained. “I couldn’t take all of him. He was a bit big.”

Cloudy snorted. “Most stallions just say they’re big,” she scoffed.

“No, literally. I couldn’t fit all of him without some helpful meds.” Dash winced. “Was sore the next morning, but was worth it.”

Cloudy blinked a few times. “Well damn,” she whistled. She then appeared to be thinking for a moment. “Think he’ll accept being used as a stud later on?” She posed to Dash.

“Well we’ll have to ask G and CC.” Dash shrugged.

“Good enough for me, when the time comes you’ll be showing me where you got those meds,” Cloudy promised. “Then we’ll both show him why athletic mares are the best.”

“I think he already knows.” Dash chuckled. “I mean, he has me, the former track star, and G, the former wrestling champ.”

“True, but how often would he get to have a black-belt mare wrapped around him?” Cloudy winked.

“Huh.” Dash blinked. “Good point. I’ll have to introduce you to them at some point.”

“I thought so~” Cloudy sang. “Okay, so. Pick a place, we’ll go out on a normal-ish date, and then you pick where I screw your brains out.”

“Uhhh…” Dash hummed. “Burgers sound good. As to a place to bang…. I don’t know. I really don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. If we’re taking this seriously, then I’d like to wait, if that’s okay with you?”

“Oh come on,” Cloudy groaned, her head thumping into the table. She lifted it after a moment to explain. “You’re practically half-unwrapped already, and I typically don’t do mares. Asking me to wait is like telling a pony coming out of the desert he can’t have any water.”

“Weeelllll….. I can’t really blame you there.” Dash bit her lip.

“Yeah, I mean,” Cloudy waved her free hand to indicate all of Dash. “You’re showing off how well-toned you are, and I wanna see how many tricks you can pull off while I make you squeal.”

“Oh fuck.” Dash mumbled. “Well… I’m not exactly opposed to it.”

“See? I wanna screw your brains out, you want a good time, the only reason I’m not is because I want to at least start with a normal date,” Cloudy agreed. “Though if you want to flip the script and start by going back to my place so I can make you feel as sexy as you look…”

“Not… really opposed to that either…” Dash suddenly felt like a mouse being stared at by a lion.

“Oh good~” Cloudy smiled. “Then I can make a nice dinner and serve it up with a fine wine after I render you unable to speak due to pleasure~”

Dash gulped, meeting Cloudy’s almost hungry eyes. “Well… What are we waiting for then?”

“Mmm,” Cloudy hummed. “Or you could introduce me to the colt that I’m competing with,” she continued to muse. “Really, our options are open. How badly fucked do you want to be?~”

“For once, it’s not supposed to be a competition.” Dash said, quite flustered. “But, I wouldn’t mind taking you home to meet everyone.”

“Oh good!” Cloudy clapped her hands together. “Then I can take you up to your room and let everyone know just how sexy I find you. Maybe even rope your colt into screwing us both.”

“He’s not my colt though.” Dash said weakly.

“True,” Cloudy admitted. “Guess that means he’ll be free to do both of us equally~”

“That’s up to him and G.” Dash shrugged.

“He’s already done you once,” Cloudy pointed out sensibly. “What colt wouldn’t want to do you again?”

“You got a point. I think.” Dash hummed. “But I’m trying to just be with one person, you know?”

“Me, I never found someone to settle with,” Cloudy waved a hand. “But. Get me a good stud for breeding with, a good mare to cuddle at night, and I’d be happy.”

“Breeding isn’t really my thing.” Dash shook her head. “That’s more a G and Flutters thing.”

“Fair, everyone has their thing,” Cloudy admitted. “Me, I always saw myself raising a kid. Not so much with a stallion as thanks to a stallion. Just never found someone willing to fill just that role.”

“Then we talk to CC and G.” Dash nodded. “So, want to follow me home?”

“Careful,” Cloudy teased. “Let me follow you home and I might decide to flip the script and treat you as the pet~”

Dash got up. “Not thinking about that.” She started towards the door. “Really not thinking about that.”

Cloudy made several growls and barking noises as she followed that prismatic butt out of the shop.

Dash pouted. “Not. Someone’s. Pet.”