The Great Redneck War of Equestria

Rainbow Dash flew away, into the trees for cover. Twilight teleported somewhere within the arena. Pinkie used that fourth  Wall thing. Applejack ran and the Cutie Mark Crusaders split. Rarity muttered something about mexicans. That only leaves Fluttershy quaking near the door.

A pair of cobalt eyes peered at her from a bush. They disappeared and a gun barrel replaced them. Fluttershy flew away, skimming over the treetops.

"Dammit Cadence! You said she would be an easy hit!" Shining Armor shouted. Then he screamed and suddenly went silent.

Fluttershy took safety in a tree. Her gaze hardened and she took out her semi-automatic BB sniper rifle. She set it up on the dense branch she was on. She wrapped her mane around her forehaed like a bandana. No poor bastard's gonna get within fifty feet of this Flutterbitch.

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Rainbow Dash rolled in mud. Not for fun, but for camoflage. Rainbow isn't exactly camo. She held her gun in wing, her hooves need to be free in case of brawl.

Ponies would expect a pegasus to attck from the sky, so expect the unexpected. Ferns shook in front of her and she readied her gun. Taking aim, she fired into the fronds.

A squeal revealed Luna, crawling in for attack like a worm.

Oh, huzzah, it is Rainbow Dash! The fun has been-"

Rainbow Dash opened fire. Luna was splattered with multicolored spots that she almost looked like Rainbow's mane. She galloped away, howling insults behind her and a hundred yards away, it appeared that she collapsed.

"All in a day's work," Rainbow Dash flipped the gun up and blew on the tip as if to blow smoke away. The result was a large yellow splotch on her muzzle.

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Applejack loaded her gun. She had already shown those shitheads that call themselves Crusaders what a true redneck is. With several stinging welts. Suddenly, something hit her on the flank. Hard.

"What the-?" Applejack examined the spot. Pale yellow. Fluttershy.

Another spot hit her. This time purple.

"Twilight!" Applejack stumbled toward the source. The last thing she saw before blacking out was a paintball gun mounted on a tree.

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Twilight loomed above the unconscious Applejack. Too easy.

Setting up traps had been smart.

She unrigged her paintball gun from the tree via magic. From what she remembered when she read about the Royal garden, it was roughly twenty acres in surface area. The map of the garden she memorized led her to believe that she was near a clearing that would make a perfect place for an encampment.

Twilight walked west for two hundred feet. Sure enough, there was a platoon of guards clustered around a shape on the ground.

Staying in the shadows, Twilight made her move. She unleashed fire and shot down at least half of the guards before the stupid brutes scattered.

She slowly made her way across the field to see what held their attention so closely. Her breath caught in her throat. It was a white coated, purple-maned mare. Rarity.

Twilight shook her head. This wasn't the time to greive. She had to get out of here.

O== PARTY!

Pinkie hopped through the woods soundlessly. To get serious, all she had to do is think.

You have no friends! Where are they? Oh yeah, thrying to shoot you Pinkamena sneered at Pinkie.

Pinkie deflated, mane becoming straight and coat turning dull. Along with this change came the sense of deadliness that Pinkamena offered.

Pinkamena stalked through the wilderness, a rabid wolf. She sniffed the air, sensing fear.

She unholstered her paintball gun. Loaded with pink paintballs, this baby's sure any target will get Pinkie-fied.

Hearing a snap to her right, she leaped, snarling at her adversatary.