I was seated at a table. I was also seated at the table. "This looks really bad," I said to another of myself, seated to the side.

The other me nodded gravely. "We've ground the gears down pretty good." She waved at me. "How are we going to fix this?"

I could see the gears of power, what made me the noodle. Many of them were stripped and haggard. I had pressed so hard against what had tried to stop me, I had hurt myself, badly. I could just... feel that. "If I'm feeling lively enough to chat with myself, I must not be entirely out of it yet."

"How do you know that?" I doubted myself, but I took my... hand in my hand and I squeezed gently, looking into her, my, eyes. We smiled a little, and I felt a little calmer.

"I am the noodle," I reminded myself as I turned to my prone and torn form, alone besides that inert form. "I can get through this."

I became aware I wasn't alone. They were there, Starlight and Cindy. They were talking about me, on top of me. I couldn't hear their words, but I felt sure that is what they were doing. Were they worried about me? It seemed likely. To them, I must look even worse...

I reached for the first stripped cog and gentle began to knead and shape it, giving it a crude groove like the screw it once was. "Like that," I muttered to myself as I worked.

I woke up suddenly and hissed with the rattling noise of at least three different animals.

I heard Cindy say something, but I couldn't make out the words. Starlight said something too. I felt them sitting up, looking at me. Scared.

I growled with irritation and my body shuddered. I was still full of anger. Not at them... I loved them. I wanted to protect them from everything, but how? I felt certain I couldn't just hop away. "What did I miss?" or, at least, that's what I had meant to say. It came out as confused animal noises, as if a bear and a cat were having a conversation with a pig.

That's when I saw it. My form was unhinged. Whenever I stopped staring at a given part, it would change and flow. Even my overall stats were in flux. I was a man, a woman, both, neither. I was a mammal, a lizard, or something else new entirely until I got distracted and kept shifting.

Cindy hugged me tightly even as I shifted in his grip. He just kept hugging, as if to remind me he was there.

I was... happy that he was. I just breathed, trying to calm myself, to still the raging, thumping, heart inside me.

A voice talked, neither of them. I couldn't grasp the words.

Starlight looked towards it and replied before resting a hoof on my mutable shoulder.

"You hurt a lot of people," she said, her voice suddenly clear. With no warning, it was gone. I could hear her talking, but there was no meaning.

An idea came to me and I smiled, the left and right side of my lips not matching. I reached out and pulled a big microphone out of nowhere. Sure, it was yellow at the base and a bright pink at the top and it wasn't straight at all, but a microphone! I shoved it against Starlight, brushing her snout once and pointing at the mic. Please, please understand, I begged softly, knowing I was making no noise that could be understood.

Cindy snatched the mic away! "Girl?" he asked into it, and I could hear it, past my shifting ears, in my mind, or my soul, or whatever I had! Oh, the relief that it had worked. I think he noticed it, talking more, "You understand me? You kinda messed up a lot of people. They're super pissed at you."

Starlight leaned in. "Miller's trying to keep them away, but that's a big ask. A big big ask..." She glanced away and back at me. "I don't want to ask anything right now but if you're alright."

"She's not alright," cut in Cindy. "But if you can get us out of here?" he finished far more quietly. "That'd be fine."

Sure, we could hop to my house, where they'd show up a bit after and drag us back. No, that wouldn't work.

"Stuck?" There was another me, floating over me. That other me wasn't metamorphing wildly, and obviously could talk. "They warned you this would happen."

Who? All I got out were strangled animal noises for my effort.

"You cleaned yourself up before you were ready," chastised the floating me. "Look, I'm what you should have been. You can call me Eris. You remember that name, don't you?"

Eris? Eris! Discord had given me that--

"Yes, Discord, and he wasn't lying. I am Eris, and so are you. Just admit that and you can stop hurting." Her snout was upturned in a wicked smile I wasn't sure how to feel about. Her tail curled and swayed as she swam in a little closer. "You are Eris," she whispered seductively, running at odds with how everything I was feeling.

Was she the cure? "Yes." Could I trust her? "You don't have a lot of choice, but I am you." My name was Lauren. "That's a crappy attitude," she sang above me. "Put it aside and let's get better."

Not being a mess would be-- Movement? Guards. They had guns, I think? It was hard to focus.

"Enough wasting time. I'm coming in!" She easily wrapped her arms around me. "As if I have to ask myself, pfft."

And we were one. I was Eris. I sat up sharply as a bullet came at me, but it was following the musical composition I was doing with my restored fingers, directing it around in a circle. The original firer slumped to the ground, completely unable to handle having a bullet thrown back at him. "Don't throw out what you don't want returned," I sang with a sly grin.

There were several others, most with larger munitions. Where had they shopped, an army surplus store? "You saw what happened to your friend. You've gone and scared my friends and I don't want to traumatize them with more bodies. Wanna put them down? Besides, snakes are dangerous."

Oh, the look of surprise when I called them that. One of them yelped in fear, seeing that he was indeed holding some kind of huge snake. I rose sinuously from the bed as the would-be soldiers dropped their former guns in a hurry, the snakes slithering off to find a new life at least until I forgot about them. "Cindy, Starlight, let's go."

Starlight thrust a hoof at the ground. "You get right down here, Young Lady," she barked at me. Which is why she had a waggy tail and a lolling tongue, panting. She yipped, realizing what had happened to her. "Hey!" she objected, still able to speak despite being given a rapid dog-over. "Please, calm down."

"But I am calm," I objected. "Oh, but we haven't met." I reached for her, gently mussing her hair and petting her floppy dog ears. "I'm Eris, and you, especially, are my little toy."

Something was coming at me. Ah, a club, a baton really. It seemed to be pushing through molasses, time slowed as I watched it approach, no fear in my heart. I swam around the arc of the slow club and time sped up the moment I was out of the way of it. "That's just rude," I noted of the human who had swung it. "Well, I'm feeling generous today. What do you want to be?" I pressed my nose to his, even as he tried to back away. "Go on, say it, admit it. Whatever."

I could hear him, fearful thoughts at war with manic attempts to rally himself. "I won't kill you," I reminded. "Whatever you want, the world's the limit." And I wasn't even sure that was true.

"Bring back Thomas," he got out.

Thomas? "Who?"

"The one you turned into ants," he clarified. "Bring him back."

"He hurt my friend," I said as if I was correcting a small child. "He got what he deserved. Why should I do that? Really, you could get anything and you want to ask for your friend?" I suddenly smiled brightly. "That's actually kind of sweet. Aw, such a loving soul." I grabbed his cheeks, pinking them roughly. "You're in the wrong job. What did you want to be before you took--"

I stopped my question as I felt hands grabbing me. Another guard had thought my talking was a lowered guard. It wasn't. I tickled his front with the tuft of my tail, and his laugh was a loud bleat as he fell back, a nice rolly polly sheep. "We were talking," I chastised, keeping my eyes on the guard in front of me. "Go on."

"Thomas wasn't a bad person," they insisted, still stuck on that topic. "Fix him. You can do anything, right? Show it."

"A challenge?!" I grabbed his shoulder. "Oh fine, but I want something for it." I swiveled an ear towards Cindy, who had been quiet. "This guy's going to become something, so, what do you want while I fix his friend, assuming you're alright with that jerk being back."

"Y-yeah," stammered out Cindy. "Girl, look, calm down."

"I am calm," I reminded. "So what do you want this boy to be, or girl, whatever. You ever wanted a pet, or a child, or a toy? Just name it..."

"Lore," he shouted as much in a frantic yelp as a mean to be assertive. "If you can un-kill that person, you do that!"

"Really." I shoved the guard away and swam up to Cindy. "You're lucky I like you. Dead naming me like that. Did you not hear?" I tapped him right on his cute pony snout. "I am Eris. You'll get a name--" It hit me. "Oh, there it is. Try Shining Armor on. It'll feel better soon. That's a handsome name for a handsome stallion."

Starlight gestured for the door with one of her newly-given paws. The guards weren't entirely stupid and most of them took the advice. "Eris, nice to meet you... We made a promise. Do you remember that?"

I twisted in the air to face her. "Did we? What was it about?"

Starlight put a paw on her chest, tongue still drooping out. She was such a cute little dog. "When you got a new name and you shared it with me, I'd tell you my old name. Remember?"

I could remember that, and how confused I was at the time. I was so sick and awful and ugh. "Well... Are we still on?"

Starlight put her paws out close together. "Two little things. I want to be my pony self as I do this. Also, please fix Thomas. Even if he was a complete jerk, killing them isn't the answer, is it Eris?"

"You are a pony," I reminded her, patting her with her horn poking up between my fingers. "You are such a chore sometimes. They're all ready to break my bones and shoot me, but if I hurt them, I'm the bad guy?"

"Yes," she replied without even a hint of delay, standing up tall on her restored pony haunches. "Because you have the power. You could take away their weapons, put them to sleep, or even just make them prefer to get a nice big hotdog instead of fighting with you, but you killed them instead. They're wrong, but you could be better, and you're not. I want more from you, Eris."

I tapped her nose. She was lucky I still thought she was so cute. "Is that how you address your noodle god." I put my hands on my hips, my entire body wriggling before her. "I thought I was your alpha and omega, start and end. You were ready to give up everything for me, and now you're telling me how to feel bad? You're not a very good supplicant."

Starlight turned a hoof to point at herself. "I can make decisions, like an adult. If I roll over and let you have your way with me, that's on me. That doesn't make it alright for you to end people, Eris." She stood up and pointed across the room to where the dead guard was slumped against the wall, a bullet in their head. "Fix that. Come on. If you can, you should."

"He shot me!" I hissed out, crossing my arms. "You're the worst sycophant ever."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "I'm not one of those. I am here to tell it to you straight, even if I get turned on by a few things."

"Can you do it?" asked Cindy. "Fix him?"

They sounded so sad. Huff, fine... "You two owe me!" I shouted as I snapped loudly, reversing time in just one little space. The man un-staggered to his feet, bullet un-piercing him as it zipped over to land obediently on my extended paw, panting like a new little dog. "Who's a good boy?" I smiled at the little friendly bullet. "Go on, back into your kennel." I underhandedly lobbed it and the bullet zoomed right back to the gun it had come from, nestling itself comfortable. "And you, get out and thank them."

The restored guard fell back, muttering something. "Get out," suddenly barked the one that had been making requests, who had not fled. "Go on!"

Why was he still there. "Maybe you should take your own advice?" I twirled in the air, giggling softly. "Shoo, shoo." I made little motions with my fingers. "We have things to discuss, family things."

"Did you fix Thomas?" asked the brave little guard even as his friend took the smart route and got out of there. "Steve was a bit of a jerk," he suddenly admitted. "But Thomas was cool."

I was suddenly curious. "Thomas is ant boy, is Steve slug-pal?"

"Yeah..." He looked over to Cindy. "Steve's the one that did it."

Ugh, I killed the wrong one?! "Fucker, but Thomas didn't stop him, and he was right there. That makes him pretty guilty..." I looked to the guard's chest where a nametag was hanging where it hadn't been. "Robert."

"He was--"

"Oh, my, me," I cut him off with a wheezing laugh. "You are not going to use that tired line on me!" I put my hands next to my head as I leaned it. "I was just following orders," I petulantly mocked with a grin. "Give me something better."

"Eris!" There was Starlight, trying to be my conscience. Oh. I plucked her up as she squeaked and parked her on my left shoulder where she floated, a halo floating over her head and little angelic wings beating. "Not funny." She crossed her arms, but she was stuck there as my shoulder angel. "Really, come on. He's trying to save someone, that's not being a bad person."

I glanced over at Cindy. "You want the other side?"

Cindy looked far from sure. "Uh, hey, they were both jerks, in my book." That was consent! I soon had him placed on the right side, little horns poking from his hair and his tail gone red and spade tipped. "Great... Look, Lore--"

"Eris," I stated firmly. "You're dancing on my nerve, even for a shoulder devil. Eris. E R I S, mistress of chaos." I fluffed myself a little. "Now, you were saying?"

"They were both jerks," he continued. "But I didn't want to kill them."

"What did you want? You didn't say. That makes it your fault." Ha, pro-level logic.

Starlight put a hoof to her face as she bobbed up and down. "Eris, please. We're all stressed. Let's just.... wind it all back." She rolled her hooves. "Put everyone where they started, we can do the day over again?"

I buzzed with all the force of an alarm. "No can do! I can change them, but rewinding, that's a limited game. We're past it." My shoulder squad was annoying! "All this trouble for an anthill." I pointed to where a sizable anthill was on the floor. It hadn't been there before, as if I cared. Ants crawled all over it. "Your friend makes a great ant colony, so industrious."

Robert recoiled from the sudden new ant hill. "Jesus... that's... him?"

Cindy squeaked, covering his mouth with his fuzzy hands. "L...Eris, you don't feel bad at all?"

"I feel annoyed my friends aren't thanking me for rescuing them." I crossed my arms under my chest, tapping at the air with a foot. "What's a noodle have to do to be appreciated around here?"

"We do appreciate you," assured Starlight, running a hoof along one of my ears. "But we'd appreciate it even more if you could be a good god for us instead of a naughty one."

"You don't want me being naughty?" I hiked a brow. "Now I know you're lying."

Starlight colored vividly at that. "That kinda naughty's alright! I'm talking about the 'kills and hurts people' variety."

Cindy grabbed the other ear, giving a little tug as he pointed to the anthill. "Can you put them back together? Please..."

"Monster!" Robert was making a last ditch rush at me. How brave. Also kinda dumb... I snapped my dragon fingers, the universe's attention somewhere else. I considered making him a monster, since he has asked for one so desperately.

But Starlight had just told me. If I did that, she'd yell at me again. Ugh... "Go get a hot dog," I grunted as time resumed.

Robert staggered forward before turning in place. "I'll be back, need a snack." And off he went, hunting that beefy treat.

"There, see, I can be reserved. Congratulate me." I didn't turn to Starlight, just speaking as I instead pivoted in the air to the anthill. "And you want this put together?"

Cindy scratched at the ear he held. "Please? Come on, girl. This isn't you."

"None of us are ourselves these days." I rolled my eyes hard enough that they came loose. Fortunately, I was able to catch them before I got ants all over them. "Fine, whatever. I bet you even want them to be boring human?"

"If you can?"

"Are you doubting me!?" I huffed at that. As if I couldn't do what I wanted! With a sharp snap, in their eyes, there was an anthill, then there was a very naked man sitting on an anthill, minus the ants. Sure, he had a thousand yard stare and was shivering, but he was there. "Ta da. Thomas, I presume?"

He tried to stand, but apparently forgot how to human correctly and barely accomplished more than flopping over at a new angle. He made noises, but they weren't words. "Speak up," I huffed. "This guy is a bore." I made a dismissive wave, sending him sliding out of the room with a nice bang of the door behind him. "They can take care of him, not my problem anymore."

I casually set my friends back down, restoring their height and erasing their celestial markers. Though Starlight still had a halo, little goodie two-hooves she was. "There, everything's fixed. No dead people at all. Not a one."

Starlight forced a smile, I could tell. "Good, great, even, thank you, Eris... Now, let's just calm down. Everypony, let's do a little mindful breathing." She sat up, crossing her legs in a way I didn't think a pony could, crossing them with her hooves pressing together. "Close your eyes and follow with me."

"Your goddess is already bored," I complained, looking to Cindy. "You still hornier than a teen that discovered he has a working penis?"

"I never called you my goddess," he denied hotly. "You're my girl, my friend, and you're not being you right now."

"Is that a no?"

"No sex for crazy people," he confirmed. "You did a lot, for us, thanks... but you went way off the rails, and you aren't even worried about it."

"That's the part I like the least," admitted Starlight. "Eris, I like you. You know that... You know know that... You need to slow down and consider what's happened so far."

Oh, right, hearing. I wasn't wearing the cancelling headphones. Why wasn't I hearing her? Focusing on it, that changed.

"Let's get through this," came her floating voice. "I don't know what the top man's going to do, but if we can get through this, we can go back to being happy. Don't run away from us, Lore."

Ugh, dead named, in a thought. Did that count? It was just as annoying. I stopped listening to her thoughts. "I'm still me," I defended. "The old me would have done anything to save her Cindy. You." I looked to Cindy. "You mean so much to me."

Cindy's guarded face eased, a little smile spreading. "And you do to me... We can get through this, together."

"Of course, together." I grabbed them both, pulling them in for a big noodle hug, the best kind. "We're a team!"

Starlight wobbled a hoof. "And a team calls it as they see it for the good of the team. Eris, I'm putting you on a time out."

I had to just kind of peer her a moment. "How do you plan to even dream of making me do that?"

"By saying it and knowing that you respect and trust me and know that I'm on your side." She pointed down. "Sit down. It's time to relax, all the way relax. You have a lot to decompress, and it won't be fun, but it has to be done."

I let go of Starlight and she slid down off of me, thumping to the floor with an oof. "Hey."

Cindy shook his head. "I never did much with meditation, but I'll do it, with you. It'll be a group thing."

"A group thing, yes." Starlight nodded from where she sat on the floor. "We're all doing it, not just you. This isn't a punishment."

"I'm not a kid." I threw away the pacifier that had been in my mouth. "I feel great, energized!" I threw my hands up. "Like I could do anything."

"You already could do anything," noted Starlight in that gentle tone of hers. "It's more that you would do anything that bothers. Sit with us, let's think it through, slowly, peacefully." She spread her fore hooves slowly. "Give it a try."

Cindy landed so much more gracefully when I let him go. I sank down to join the three of them, giving Starlight a bit of a glare. "This isn't fixing anything."

"It may not." She reached up, tapping her halo. "But would I be me if I didn't try?" My little angel Starlight. She was trying...

I heaved a great big sigh. "Oh fine... I'll give it a chance."

So I let her lead me into a relaxed state, drawing me deeper and deeper away from the pressing desires, to abandon the physicality. I was led to a place where I'd be facing the most troubling opponent I'd faced.

Myself.

She could be a real drag...

Author's Note

Hello Eris. We knew your name for a time, but you hid away from us.

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