My Little Pony Misadventures

Train Ride:
Three Days after the episodes The Crystal Empire Part 1 and 2

Twilight and Applejack were just sitting around Sugarcube corner talking to one another until twilight said

"Hey Applejack?"

"Yeah, what's up Twilight?" Applejack asked

"Do you remember the train trip that we took back to Canterlot from the Crystal Empire, and we sat next to those two fucking unicorn cunts." Twilight said angrily. "That refused to stop using their magic through the entire goddamn ride."

"Oh, god." Applejack said remembering the events "Like, I don't understand it."

"I don't understand it either!" Twilight said

"I look over there and one of the bitches was preforming, like fire magic, or something." Applejack said

"Using fire magic, like we're riding in a train with a wooden interior." Twilight said

"And I was like that totally dangerous right?" Applejack said "And one of the servers came by and says to the one using magic "you need to stop that ma'am." and she's like "Oh yeah, that's right." So she stops using fire magic and we're about halfway through the trip and she pulls out a spell book and starts showing her friend different spells, next thing I knew they we're using Illuminating magic."

"Which is basically a spell that illuminates a large area with an extremely bright light." Twilight said "And she's using that spell, and we're about five feet from the conductor, who we can see through a glass door that separates the passengers and him."

"If that has gotten through the door, we would've been dead." Applejack said

"That stupid bitch and her dumb friend, put all of our lives in danger. Why do we have rules as a society, Applejack?" Twilight said "You know what buck it, I'm not listening to Celestia anymore. That mare showed me, yeah I'll pull out my bucking spell book, I'll preform spells, I'll take out my bucking vibrator, I don't care that I'm putting 50 ponies at risk. There are foals on this train, but whatever. Who cares because I wanted to set the train on fire."

Applejack laughs a little bit at Twilight's rant.

"So I'm not going to listen to Celestia anymore and I'm going to kill a pony." Twilight said

"Wow." Applejack said

"I really need a vacation." Twilight said as she rubes her face with her hooves.

The Dog Experiment:

24 hours after the episodes Over a Barrel

Twilight and Applejack were at the library reading books.

"Hey Twilight?" Applejack asked

"The other day I was reading these stories about bucked up experiments that had been done in the past." Applejack said

"Oh, really." Twilight said curiously

"I want to tell you one of the most bucked up thing I learned from those stories." Applejack said

"What is it?" Twilight asked

"Well the government funded this experiment. They wanted to teach dogs to speak." Applejack said as she started the story

Twilight begins to snickers

"So they built a house that had some stuff to be suited for by a dog like food, water and toys." Applejack said as she continued the story "Then they had a mare and a male dog live in that house. So they gave the mare the dog when it was a puppy and it grew up with her. Problem was, when the dog reached sexual maturity, the people in charge of the program didn't nurtured it, because they said it would mess with the dog's learning process. So when the dog reached that age it just wanted to bone the mare that was living with him. And the dog would get really aggressive sometimes and was scratching her and biting her because she wouldn't have sex with him. So they started to give the dog conjugal visits. They would take the dog out of the house and let it have sex with other dogs. But then they were like "This is bucking up our experiment, we don't know if we can teach it to speak if it gets to interact with other dogs." The dog became a little more gentle, like it was trying to court the mare. it would like nibble at her hooves."

Twilight started to laugh even more

"And, uh, he would roll over on to his back and he would show's his junk to her." Applejack said "So she started to give the dog hoofjobs."

"No, get outta here." Twilight said disgusted

"And, uh, the dog became more receptive to their lessons after she started jacking him off." Applejack said laughing a little

"Bullshit!" Twilight exclaimed

"But it still, it still wasn't talking." Applejack said "So their solutions was "Oh of course you just need to do LSD with the dog."

Twilight then started to laugh extremely hard to the point she was holding her stomach.

"So they started dropping acid together." Applejack said while laughing as well.

"What the buck?" Twilight said

"And after they started doing acid, the government cut their funding." Applejack said while laughing uncontrollable.

"What's the hope? What do they think a dog's gonna say? More hoofjobs?" Twilight said as she was still crying laughing.

Carriage Fluid:
One week after the episode Party of One

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, And Pinkie Pie are in Twilight's liberay discussing random things until PInkie decided to tell a story she remembers from a while ago

"Yeah so, I remember talking to this stallion once, he recently got in a really bad crash with his carriage." Pinkie said " He said that the first thing he remembers after the crash, which had been tipped over onto it's back, he said he remembers crawling out of from the underside of the carriage, which was pretty difficult. And as he got out and was sitting on his back legs, he said his legs started to feel wet, so he looked down in time to see liquid running down his legs, and he said did I piss myself? And it turns out the Carriage Fluid Container made it out of the carriage and onto his legs, at some point during the crash."

"The Carriage Fluid Container, really?" Applejack asked sarcastically

Twilight begins to giggle.

"I can't believe It went all the way from." Applejack said as she let out a little giggle herself "The Carriage Fluid Container went all the way from inside the carriage to his legs."

"Did you just say.. CARRIAGE FLUID!" Twilight said with laughing and amazed by her friend stupidity "Did you just say Carriage Fluid."

"What are you talking about?" Pinkie asked

"There no such thing." Applejack said as she begins to laugh

Rainbow begins to laugh uncontrollable

"What do you think Carriage Fluid is?" Twilight asked "Do you really think there Carriage Fluid?"

Rainbow, Applejack and Twilight all begins to laugh at how stupid that sounded.

"How is that possible that you think that?" Twilight asked

"Oh, the wheels are stiff better put some more fluid on it." Applejack said

"Gonna top off the wheels." Rainbow said as she laughs

"Your a bucking moron." Applejack said

"I've been breaking the fourth wall too much." Pinkie said

"No." Twilight said immediately while still laughing

"I mean, the seat juice." Pinkie said "What's that stuff called."

"The seat juice." Applejack said while laughing

The three continued to laugh at Pinkie.

"Oh my Celestia." Applejack said

"This is the dumbest moment in the history of this show." Rainbow said still laughing a little.

Applejack and Twilight continued to laugh extremely hard

"Oh man, ok in previous episodes I always get made fun of for being stupid or something like that." Pinkie said "I'll admit that was the bucking dumbest thing I've ever said, but you know what I mean right."

All four of them start to laugh together.

"Is it rock carriage fluids?" Rainbow said making fun of Pinkie

"It's a good thing I'm going back home for the holidays." Pinkie said "I'm gonna leave ok."

The laughter has started to dyed down.

"I keep waiting for you to make sense." Rainbow said