Dark Alleys, Bright Hearts

Within an instant, I am awoken from my sleep.

My entire world becomes nothing but cold, as I fall off Mark’s couch and onto the ground.

I can hear Mark laughing, placing down a bucket, “Wakey, wakey, Love.”

I narrow my eyes, and hiss at him, “Fuck you.”

He smirks, “Sorry, Love, you aren’t going to do that. Come on, get up, you look like a cat.”

I frown, and stand up, shaking out my disguise’s fur, making sure to get a healthy amount of water on Mark, “Why have you done this atrocity to me?”

He smiles, “Because I’ve never been able to do it before.” He tosses me a towel, “Plus, your hair looks better when down.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Really?”

He nods, “Yep.”

I begin to dry myself, “I’ll make good use of that knowledge, then.” I look at him, “Though you had better watch your back next time you go to sleep. I strike when least expected.”

He grins, “Oh no, I’m so scared. The wet gal is going to get revenge for my dastardly plan.”

I nod, “You bet your ass I’m going to get revenge. This is an injustice upon me such that I shall never forget nor forgive until absolute vengeance is mine.”

He smiles, grabbing a bottle of cider and tossing it to me, “There, that should make up for it.”

I catch the cider, and pause. I take a sip, “Your apology is accepted, and I generously grant my forgiveness upon you.” I smile, “Alright, it’s Palace time, isn’t it?”

He nods, grabbing his own cider, “Yep. Did you get everything down last night?”

I nod, “Yep, all ready. A fine set of tools.”

He grins, and throws on his cloak, “Good.” He tosses me a cloak as well, “Let’s get going.”

I throw the cloak on, keeping the hood down, “We look like a pair of thieves.”

He looks at me, “We are.”

I smile, “Stereotypical thieves. All we need now are a couple of useless belts.”

He opens the door, and leads the way, “Hey, the belts are an important part of any thief’s uniform. They carry the tools.”

I shake my head, “How many tools do you need to justify five or more belts?”

He holds up a finger, “A lot, but each belt is dedicated to something different. Firstly, they keep the cloak from getting caught in places. There’s the breaking in belt, with all the lockpicks and shit like that. Then there’s the movement belt, dedicated to the grappling gun and other shit dedicated to moving. There’s also the weapon belt, dedicated to holding weapons. Then there’s the note belt, where you keep information and that shit. Finally, there’s the rock belt, which holds differently sized rocks.”

I smirk, “A rock belt? Seriously?”

He nods, “Rocks are a very important tool. They can distract, break, or even injure. They also make good placeholders.”

I smile, and shake my head, “The belts seem dumb.”

He frowns, “Don’t diss the belts.”

I grin, “I will diss the belts. That many tools are a hindrance.”

He pauses, and runs into a nearby shop. He comes out a few seconds later, with belts wrapped around him, “Well, I just bought belts, because fuck you.”

I laugh, “Seriously?”

He nods, “Yes, because belts are that important to me. Don’t diss the belts.”

I shake my head, “You are certainly something different, Mark.”

He smiles, “I try, Love.”

I smile back, “It’s like you’re the only bit of oxygen within all this nitrogen.”

He grins as we come up to the gates of the Palace.

One of the pair of guards there steps forward, “Welcome, Sir Mark and Miss Love, Princess-“

Mark steps past him, “Waiting for us, I know. Come up with some unique dialogue next time.”

The guard frowns, and steps back into place, “Of course, Sir Mark.”

I pass by the other guard, only to pause before I enter the palace itself, “No, there aren’t any daggers on my flank, you can stop looking.”

The guard quickly looks forward again, as I move into the palace.

Mark frowns, “These guards are perverts, eh?”

I shake my head, “Nah, I just wanted him to get in trouble with his superior.”

He grins, “Clever.” He pauses, “Speaking of flanks, what type of beauty standards do ponies have?”

I smile, “Well, I’d be a beautiful mare to many stallions.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Really?”

I laugh, “Ouch, way to ruin a mare’s confidence.”

He pauses, “Oh no, I didn’t mean it that way. Just, y’know, seems kinda self praising.”

I shake my head, “I hold myself to a high standard as looks are concerned, Mark. Though letting one’s mane down isn’t a beauty standard. But, I like it.”

He nods, “Well, that’s just good to know. If me and a stallion were to ever get into ‘locker room talk’, I’d be lost otherwise.”

I smile, “Alright, you ready for Celestia?”

He grins, and opens the door to the meeting room. He walks in, “Celestia, I’ve come to bargain.”

She sits at the table, and smiles, “Of course. Please, take a seat, allow me to hear your decision, Mark.”

He and I take a seat, and I hand him his notebook.

He nods, and looks at Celestia, “Here are my terms, Celestia. I’ll give you some technology, but Love and I shall get a prototype each before it becomes public knowledge. I shall also get paid for this, and be able to go to certain restricted areas.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Restricted areas?”

He smiles, “I want Love and I to have access to the restricted section. There are books there we wish to read.”

Celestia frowns, looking at me, “Is that so?” She shakes her head, and returns to a smile, “Very well, I accept your terms. You are a shrewd diplomat, Mark.”

He nods, “I know. Now, if that’s all, I’m going back home.”

Celestia nods, “Yes, that shall be all. Have a wonderful day.”

Mark stands, and begins walking out, “Come on, Love, let’s go get some high quality cider.”

I begin to move out with him, and Celestia mutters, “Clever.”

I look back at her, and give her a wink, “I know.”