I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The Morning

I'm going insane, not the good kind, dying so many times has fucked me up in the head and now I'm cooking a cake in riot armor with a flame thrower on my back, I can't wait to taste some grilled bug, I can't stop smiling and I have to keep my helmet off because it gets hot fast.

All the other chefs are just looking at me and my bots as we make the food, let me say this they are not mister handy's, they are Mr. Gutsy with flamethrowers, I'm just so exited, then I heard it the shield popped, I almost fucking sqeed, so I turned around put my helmet on take my flamer off my back and say in my best sarge voice. "ANNOTATION." all Mr. Gutsy got in a line behind me.

"OK you bag of scrap metal today we are going to be cooking some bugs, I want to see fully cooked bugs no half cooked and no burnt, we have a lot of lizards to feed (I started the farm) and I want to feed them the best of the best do you understand." And then I hear the church bells ringing of robotic.

"SIR YES SIR"

And right on cue 3 changeling bust down the kitchen door, we all point our flamers at them. "This was a bad day for you 3 to come to work." Ah just hearing there screams made me happy I could almost cry, but instead I just laughed. "HAHAHA."

"Alright you dumb rust buckets split up into the city and get my that lizard grub." I watched as they left the room and out the window or down the hall, so I do what I need to do, walking through the castle and cutting ponies free from pods is a hard chore so I just tell them to stay in there room because this is not an escort mission.

Walking down another hall I look out the window and admire the scenery and all the dead body's. Making my way down to where princess Luna is supposed to be I look in her room and see shes asleep, walking in I take out a pant brush and pony body paint, and paint her body and face.

Walking down hall after hall burning bugs and free ponies get boring really fast, pulling out my mini gun I let her rip, the halls was a mess after I left but hey I'm only cleaning up the cooked bugs so haha have fun cleaning that up. As I'm mowing down fly's I see a door with bluebloods cutie mark on it and kick in the door I wish I had not.

It was kinda fun but kinda sad, there we was thrusting away at a maid who looked super bored, he was sweating and trying to be all sexy like but it just made me cringe, closing the door I leave not wanting to see that ever again, like how fucking small does your dick have to be that they look bored.

Making my way to the thrown room, still trying to get that image out of my head, I stand in front of the closed thrown room doors with 3 Mr. Gusty's behind me, grabbing a cigar from my pip-boy I light it using my pilot light on my flame thrower. "You boys ready."

"sir yes sir."

Getting closer to the door I kick it in seeing Chrysalis shoot Candace away from her as she lands next to shining, pulling the trigger half way turns on the pilot light making a poof noise, making everyone our way so I take the cigar out my mouth. "Say hello to my little friend." And I full pull it shooting flames right at her.

"You dumb creature do you think a little flames and stop me!" Nope that's why I'm letting the mister gusty's put up a flame wall as I sneak around and come up behind her, pulling out lucky I point it at her head and pull the trigger, I watch in slow mo as she turns around and glory kill activates and her head goes pop exploding everywhere.

The mister gutsy's turn off there flamers so we don't burn the queens body. "That when easier then I thought." Looking at the ponies they all look dumbfounded at me then the bug queen and I hear the scratched voice of one pony saying the magic work.

"What the buck just happened!"

Oh how brings music to my ears. "That my friends is called a messy clean up." And I leave the room relaying back into the kitchen as a Mr. Handy cleans up the mess and we get back to cooking.

"I was so close to burning them." I say as I keep cooking.

One of the mister handy's turns to me. "pardon me sir can you repeat that."

"No." Setting everything up on the trays and dollies, we role out the food to be set up in the ballroom. As I set up a table with the cakes, so glade I didn't have to make more, I Hear a group coming to the ballroom. "Alright people put your uniforms on." All mister handy's put bow ties on and I change into a server outfit, we all go behind the tables and I go to the bar.

The ponies start coming in the room, standing up straight, I put on my best closed mouth smile. The music starts they cut the cake and everyone parties, I served drinks to ponies and cleaned cups and the bar top, till one pony I dreaded comes over.

"Hello um I Heard a lot about you by my friend Rarity and was wandering, how did you make them."

I just looked at here and smiles. "That is a secret of RobCo .Inc so please do not ask any questions about them or there product."

"Oh okay, what are you, where did you come from, why do you ask for the bottle caps of the nuka-cola bottles only, what did you use on the queen of changelings, why did you take all the changeling body's, where did you take them, wher-"

Clearing my throat got her to stop talking. "I'm human, I come from earth, because I can, no, not going to answer that, and stop asking me questions."

She looked down and walks away.

The party when off without a hitch and I make it back into my diner, going straight to the recharge room, going to the back where the bots are made, I turn it on and make a costume eye bot with stealth and a relay transmitter, going outside I hold the eye bot under my arm as I come to the edge of cantorlot. Looking at my eye bot I throw it off the edge as it floats away, looking behind me, there is a cart full of 9 eye bots, turning them on and throwing them off the cliff, I got back to the diner and wait.

Going up to my room I lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. "I almost forgot why I want to kill some of them."

Pulling up my pip-boy I take out some nuka-gummy and eats them. "I'm going to make more of them, these taste amazing."

Author's Note

Sorry If some of these story's have been falling out I have been losing inspiration for everything, next chapters I will try my best to make better chapters after this.