Welcome to the School, Slut! or The Triumph of Capitalism

Principal Celestia was in trouble, which really wasn't saying much. There was almost always something on her back - something digging its nails into her skin. She sighed and rubbed her temples as she stewed in her own thoughts. On the desk in front of her was a letter from the governor and the regional head of education.

Dear Principal Celestia,

It is with deep sympathies we write to inform you that, due to a variety of safety issues that have been left unresolved from the recent situations, we must hereby terminate your state provided funding. Canterlot High School need not close, however, as we understand that certain parents and students may wish to continue to attend classes at your institution. Please inform all parents and legal guardians that the school is no longer state funded at the earliest convenience. You may go forward with the school as you see fit, acquiring your funds however you wish, whether by enforcing tuition or other means. Please note that should the safety issues detailed in our previous correspondence be resolved, the Regional Office of Education will reconsider you for funding, whether partial or whole.

Best of Luck and with Our Sincere Regards,
Mayor Mare and Chief Educator Stingy Mogul

This was just great! The year was about to close, and now so might the school. Some of the parents might stay with the school, but the amount they'd have to charge them would send many of the undecided to the hills, likely over to Crystal Prep which was still funded. It wasn't fair!

Well, that was untrue. It was completely fair that they did exactly as they had said, but the fact they had asked a principal of a high school to stop the magical incursions on her school was completely ludicrous. She wanted to scream, but she knew it wouldn't help. It was a big mess, and she'd have to sort it out - likely on her own. She'd need to find a way to secure funding for the school sufficient to pay for the tax on the land, the electric bill, the water bill, grounds keeping costs, the teachers' salaries, supplies including the meals, and other personnel. She might have to put a moratorium on field trips until they were stable as well. Unnecessary expenditures would have to be weeded out or they'd weed out the school.

As if by some stroke of fate, Sunset Shimmer walked into the principal's office, looking in around the door. Celestia smiled to herself even before the girl began to talk. If one thing was for sure, ever since her incident at the Fall Formal, she had been the single most helpful pony out there. Perhaps she could have her friends help magic up a solution. After all, magic got her into this situation, why not use it to get out of it?

"Principal Celestia? I heard you got a rather disturbing letter, are you alright? Is everything okay?" Sunset asked, looking quite concerned.

"Not entirely, Sunset Shimmer." Celestia admitted. "Please, take a seat, I have a question to ask you." She said, offering the chair across from her own. Sunset stepped fully inside the office, closing the door behind her, meekly taking a seat. "I just got this letter." She said, showing Sunset the offending piece of stock paper. Sunset's eyes darted across the page, a horrified look taking her features.

"They can't do that! The magical connection between here and Equestria can't simply be swept under a rug!" She said frantically. There she went again, talking about that 'Equestria'. Well, maybe Equestria would come in useful.

"I don't know the particulars about how the connection between here and Equestria work, but I assumed it wasn't the sort of thing that could be made to go away." Celestia said, and then chuckled. "Unless you have a bucket of interdimensional plaster to cover the holes that have developed." Sunset laughed at that, a laugh that spoke of how uncomfortable she was with the situation.

"No such luck." She said finally. "Why are you showing me this? I know I'm my own guardian by a technicality, but don't you usually print out your own letters to send back home with us?"

'Maybe not for much longer.' Celestia thought bitterly. "Yes, but I had a question as I mentioned." Sunset nodded, motioning for Celestia to lay it on her. "You and your friends, you have helped us in various situations, some of which you all have unfortunately caused or exacerbated at some point. Now, not that this is your fault in any way, but I was wondering if you might have a way to help us with this little problem." It was a long shot, but it was the only one Celestia had at the moment, unless she wanted to organize a bake sale the size of a bakery.

"That is a big ask..." Sunset murmured to herself, tapping her chin in thought. "We might be able to do something. It might not be the most legal sounding thing, but it certainly wouldn't seem illegal to most if we play it just right."

"What are you talking about, Sunset? I'm open to all ideas." 'I'd sell myself on a corner if it meant keeping this place open.' She thought to herself. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and she might just have to find a good wardrobe for such activities if this situation went anymore south.

"Well, you see, most objects of magical power have some sort of equivalent over here. Most of the time they are mundane, other times they are still quite magical." Sunset said, poking her index fingers together like a shy grade schooler. "We found something, a sort of magical stone I guess. Twilight and I have been studying it to try and figure it out. After studying it for a good long while, we've made a break through, she even built a sort of scientific apparatus to allow you to manipulate it."

"And it can help us with our financial problem?" Celestia asked, surprised this was going down a path of such convenient ease. It was like fate was both against and yet for her today. She'd try not to complain.

"More or less. Kind of an... indirect solution of sorts." Sunset explained in the single most obscure way Celestia could imagine.

"Well, as I said, I'm open to any solution you might have for me. Any idea is one worth at least looking into at this point." Celestia said in an encouraging tone. If this worked out, she'd have to give Sunset a great big thank you. She might even have to contract Pinkie for something. That was, if it worked out.