Chapters Dimensional Orbital Drop Psyker
Dimentional Obital Drop Psyker
Author's Note
This is my first story to see the light of day ever, so right now I'm just testing the waters per say. If you guys want more let know in the comments.
Dimentional Obital Drop Psyker
“Are you sure you don’t want to wear the cosplay that we picked for you?” my brother Sam asked holding a complete set of Warhammer 40k Commissar clothing including chain sword and bolt pistol.
“Nah, I’m fine.” I said shaking my head. “Someone needs to drive you and your girlfriend home when you get loaded up on alcohol and souvenirs, plus neither of you have a car yet.” commenting with a sly smirk.
“Hey, at least I have a girlfriend who likes 40k just as much as I do, so chill, also Sarah and I are just a grand away from getting a minivan anyway. Anyway we’re getting off topic, are you really going to just wear a FFDP(Five-Finger-Death-Punch) t-shirt, blue jeans, and your work boots?” he asks, a little peeved.
“Yes, I don't have to wear a cosplay to go to Wizard World. All I’m going to be doing is buying a couple of souvenirs and I don't have to dress up to do that.” I respond holding the bridge of my nose.
“But where’s the fun in that?”
“I’m just not feeling it this con bro. Tell you what, I’ll let you pick my cosplay for the next Wiz World, deal?” I say offering a hand.
“Deal.” Sam shakes reluctantly.
“Come on get ready and let's head to the car, Sarah is probably wondering why we’re taking so long, and we both know how she is when she gets annoyed.” I say as a shiver goes down my spine.
“Agreed.” my brother responds quickly.
Sam and Sarah decided to cosplay as Eldar this year. Sam is a Harlequin Troupe Master wielding a powerblade and shuriken pistol, and Sarah is a Eldar Warlock of the Craftworld Ulthwe wielding a singing spear and a fusion pistol. I still don’t know how both of them and their weapons were able to fit in my car. As we go down the highway into Portland I can already see the two lovebirds in the back seats getting nervous.
“Antonio?”
“Yes Sarah?”
“Do you think other people will like our costumes?” just for her voice I can tell she’s nervous.
“I don’t see why they wouldn’t, you both put a lot of time, effort, and research into both of your costumes. For what I can tell, both of them are very accurate to the lore of the 40k, but I can’t say there would be a couple of assholes that will nitpick and heavily critec your work once you’re on the show floor.” I respond trying to lift her spirits. “Also stick together, you two are a couple after all.” I comment as I pull up to the front entrance.
“And Sarah.”
“Yeah?”
“Make sure Sam doesn’t buy anything too big that can’t fit in my car, please?” staring holes into my brother remembering last year.
“Fuck off!” Sam responds.
“Oh Sam one more thing.”
“Ugh, what now ‘mother’.” I can feel the eye roll behind that mask of his.
“Here, have my spare car key just in case something happens.” I threw the key through the open window.
“Got it, anything else?”
“Just text me when you’re ready to leave, later.” Closing the car window and driving off, I now need to find a parking spot.
One Hour Later…..
Fuck that was annoying, note for next year, get here earlier. As I walk into the entrance lobby of the convention center I text Sam the location of the car. Now the time I have been waiting for, time to browse the stalls and see what they have in stock this year. After a while of browsing and buying, I notice a stall in the corner. No one seems to see it even if someone passes right by it. I shrug my shoulders and decide to see what this mysterious stall has to offer. Walking to the front I see that no one is there at the moment, so I just look around to see that this mysterious stall has just about everything a nerd could think of. Ioun stones, engraved swords, the Infinity Gauntlet, Frostmourne, Eldar power swords, a Staff of Power, and even a human sized version of the Emperor's sword, just name a few. All I can do at this moment is stare with my mouth hanging open.
“You’re going to catch flies if your mouth stays open like that.”
“AH, jeez dude, don’t sneak up on someone like. I wouldn’t be surprised if you give them a heart attack.” I say wheezing and clenching my chest.
“Terrible sorry dear customer, but from the look on your face earlier I can assume that my wears interest you?”
After catching my breath I finally got a good look at the stall owner. The Merchant from Resident Evil 4, he is an exact look alike to the Merchant. I look at him funny for a moment but I answer his question.
“Yes, your items interest me greatly and I do intend to buy something, but before I do I have to ask, is there a special deal that is going on too like the other stalls?” I ask as I think of something to buy.
“There is a special deal that I can offer, dear customer. If you buy an item of more than $500 then you get a spin at my roulette wheel for extra goodies.” walking over to a wheel with numbers and colors.
“Ok I can do that.” I reply with a nod. I scan the stall with a more focused look than before, and then I spot a curtain staff in the back, the staff of Malcador the Sigillite. “Is the staff of Malcador in the back for sale?” I ask, hoping it was.
“Ah yes Malcador’s staff, it is for sale with a tag of $750, what say you?”
“Sold.” I respond with a fist full of bills. The Merchant chuckles a little and continues,
“Excellent, now come with me so you can spin the wheel.” I walk with him to the wheel and I now see it has a range of 1-100 on it.
“So just spin it?”
“Just spin it.”
I shrug and give the wheel a good spin. It eventually slows down and lands on 72, “So what now?” I ask. The Merchant holds up a finger, pulls a small booklet from his cloak, reads through it and then pulls out a hand held spinner with 1-8.
“Now spin this.” handing me the spinner.
I shug again, flicking the spinner and it lands on 8. “So what does this mean?” I ask, wondering what the extra spinner was for.
He hands me my new staff and states, “Now I get to send you off.” As he snaps his fingers, I no longer feel the ground below my feet.
I look down, see a hole of nothing but darkness, look back at and say with a defeated look, “Fuck.” Then nothing but blackness.
______________________________________________________________________
Ok let's do a mental check-list of everything that happened so far so I can calm the fuck down. I went to Wiz World with my brother and his girlfriend, check, I went around the stalls and bought some goodies, check, I then found a stall in the corner of the convention center, check, bought Malcador the Sigillite's staff from the Merchant from Resident Evil 4, check, then a hole in the ground opened up and I got sucked into a void of blackness, check. Now that I calmed down a bit, let's try to figure out how I'm going to get out of here.
*BONK*
"Ow." I groan out while holding my forehead. Why is there metal in the void? I start feeling around at arm's length. “Ok, so I’m in some sort of metal box and I can feel some buttons on the side panels. Lets see if one of these is a lights switch.” After a while of feeling around and clicking random buttons, I hear the hum of a motor moving something. In front of me, of what I can now see as thick glass, a gaia planet with a moon and a sun that is way too close to the planet. To top off the amazing view and giddiness of being in space, the stars are so crystal clear from where I am. "Wow, this moment will be hard to top if I survive my current situation."
*Old Spice Jingle plays*
"............Wait what, I still have my phone?" Sure enough, in my pockets is my phone, earbuds, and wallet. “So I got one new text from…...the Merchant…...in space. Nopenopenopenope, logic won’t work in this situation, might as well just roll with it. Now let’s see what this guy has to say.”
Dear Loyal Customer,
Thank you for your recent purchase of one staff of Malcador the Sigillite at my stall. For your purchase you got to spin my roulette wheel of a random prize. The prize you have received is a Level 8 Regenerative Healing Factor, simply put, you can never die no matter how much your body is destroyed. You have also received the psyker level Alpha plus for buying the staff, you’ll have about 6 months worth of time to train yourself before arriving at your destination. So I suggest you start now so you don’t kill the entire planet by accident with your new psyker powers. You are currently in an ODST Drop-pod from the Halo universe that has been outfitted to survive the emptiness of space and orbital reentry, among other things. That is all for now, I’ll text you again when you land. Have Fun!
“Well this is going to definitely cause some problems in future.” I said with a sigh. “Either way I need to train, plus I have 6 months to kill to get at least some understanding of my psyker powers. Wait where am I going to train myself?”
*Old Spice Jingle plays*
“I’m getting the feeling the Merchant is going to explain what I need to do.” I said while looking at the new text.
Top right panel, press the big green button, to get out press the big red button.
I raise my eyebrow at this but I still look for the button he mentions. “......Now I feel silly.” How did I miss a green button with the words ‘Training Room’ on it. I facepalm myself, and I push the button. Then in less than 10 seconds, I feel like my insides did several somersaults, pop into a very white dimensional plain, fall onto my hands and knees and lose all the contents in my stomach. *cough* *cough* *cough* “uuuggghhh” *spits* “Ffffuuuucccckkkk, is teleportation going to feel like that every time I do it?” I say while rolling on my back. “Damn I feel like shit……...and it’s gone. Guess this healing factor of mine works really well.” Getting back onto my feet, I start looking around and see a bed, a fridge, an outhouse,a nightstand with a digital clock on it, and a calendar. Everywhere else I looked was just flat and white, and went in every direction as far as the eye can see. “Well at least I got every basic necessity.” I then notice a small card on the nightstand. “Time in this dimension is sped up, 1 day in real space is 10 days in here. By the time you reach your destination, 5 years will have passed in this dimension. Sincerely, The Merchant.” I read aloud. “That’s good to know, now on to my training. Since I have no idea how to use psyker powers, there will be a lot of trial-and-error on my part.…….TIME FOR THE PAIN TRAIN!!!
______________________________________________________________________
6 Months Later (Real Space)
With a loud pop I reappear back into the drop-pod and see I’m just about to enter the atmosphere of this gaia planet. “5 years of an absolute nightmarish pain-filled hell, but it was worth it.” In those 5 years, I exploded 15 times, disintegrated myself 32 times, blew up one/both of my arms 52+ times, ripped my entire body apart atom by atom at least 10 times, and to top it all off, I melted my brain from the inside 82 times just by trying to activate my powers. I got my psyker powers under control and found out what unique form it took, blue flames. I can throw fireballs, create a constant stream of flames from my hands, absorb the flames I throw out(don’t know if I can do that with other flames, will try later), create a wall of flames, teleport short distances, can cover myself in flames, give myself a pair of wings made of flames, and I have a passive ability that can block/destroy any ranged attacks(think Garaa’s sand from Naruto). There is probably more that I can do but I need to figure out how to do them. Also as a reward for going through 5 years of hellish training, the Merchant sent me some Imperial psyker robes, and a semi-automatic 10-round mag bolter pistol with a regenerative ammo enchantment.
It appears to be night time as the pod starts to shake violently upon entering the atmosphere and the outer plates heats up like a furnace. I have to hold onto both handlebars on both sides of the pod just to keep myself from being thrown around like a rag doll. “If someone didn’t hear upon reentry, they definitely see me now!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Didn’t take before the pod hit the ground with a loud thud, a second later 4 green lights appeared around the hatch door. After activating the explosive bolts, the hatch goes flying off with a loud bang. “Finally, now where the fuck am I?” I ask no-one while looking around the impact site. “......Dark spooky forest…..nice, well might as grab what I can and start walking in a random direction.” Heading back to the pod I grab Malca- my staff, a basic medkit, and a combat knife. As soon as I grab my staff, flames begin to come out of the top of the staff like the pictures I’ve seen online. “I wonder if I can turn the flames off?” *wooshp-* “Hmmm, guess I have to ‘will’ the flames to be on or off with my psyker powers.” *Ba-woosh* With the flames back on lighting the way I begin walking deeper into the forest.
______________________________________________________________________
6 Hours Later
“WHAT KIND OF FOREST DID I GET DROPPED IN???!!!” I scream after fighting the last of these wolves made out of timber. “Ugh, first it was a manticore, then a pint sized version of a cockatrise, now a pack of wolves that I’m going out on a limb and guess they’re called timberwolves.” I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to gather my thoughts. “So I’m in a world where mythical beasts are real.” I point on look up to the moon “and the moon hasn’t…..moved….at…..all?” As the moon is lowering behind the treeline in a fluid motion, the sun is rising up to replace the moon in an equally fluid motion. I just stood there for what felt like hours before I moved again. Turning on my heels, I start walking again while looking down on the ground trying to comprehend what I just saw. “.......What kind of loopy land did I just land on, haven’t been here a day and shit” pointing to the sun “like that is happening!” “ARRG!!” In a fit of rage I turn around and walk face first into what felt like a rock. “ow” Backing up and looking at what I walked into I realised it wasn’t just any rock it was a statue of what looks like an ancient human holding a spear and shield in a defensive position. “Woah, so there are humans here or I should say ‘was’ judging by how weathered this statue is.” Just behind the statue I notice a clearing behind some trees and shrubs. Walking into the clearing I see something I didn’t expect to see on this planet, an Aztec temple. The big difference between this one and the one in Mexico is that this one is about 3 times as big and in a quarry that is several hundred feet deep. The top of the temple just passes the top of the quarry. Looking around the top of the quarry, I spot a stone path that serpentines down to the base of the temple. About half way down the path I notice a flight of stairs going up to a massive stone door with 4 stone pillars in front. Upon getting to the top of the stairs I see that the door, pillars, and the stone floor have carvings on them, the carvings themselves I don’t recognize from Earth. As I walk to the center of the floor circle carvings the ground starts to rumble and I can hear ancient machines begin to move. Upon hearing the sound of stone moving against each other, I turned my head to see a small circle in the floor open up and a stone pedestal with a half ball made of some sort of crystal on top. Curious, I decided to inspect the half ball made of crystal, only to find that there is a small hole at the top. Unsure what to do next so I looked around at the carvings for a clue. After about 30 minutes of searching, I think I found a clue on one of the stone pillars. The carving depicts a bipedal creature, I’m guessing a human, putting one of its hands on the half crystal ball with the stone doors open. Confident in my theory I decided to test it out, the moment I place my hand on the crystal a spike shoots up through the palm of my hand. “*Sigh* goddamnit that hurts.” Before I could do anything, the pedestal and circle carvings on the ground began to glow. Once the glowing stopped the circle carving separated in three parts and began to rotate around me quickly until they each stopped with a stony click. Then the massive stone door started to rumble and open inwards. Once the doors came to a booming stop, the spike in my hand retracted and the pedestal went back into the ground. “Again ow, and was blood really necessary to open a door?”
All that was in front of me was pitch black darkness when the doors opened. “Well curiosity kills the cat…...unless that cat was immortal, plus who wouldn’t want to explore an ancient temple. Heh, my brother and Sarah would pay in blood to be in my place right now, those crazy bastards volunteered for an expedition that was going to map out the Catacombs of Paris even further…...as a honeymoon trip. I miss those two, hope they’re doing ok without me. Welp, no time like the present, time to explore!” As I walk through the front entrance, the doors begin to close on me. Once closed they sealed themselves shut and I’m left in the darkness for a few seconds before I heard a whooshing sound somewhere further inside the temple. Slowly I see bowls hanging from the walls igniting themselves with flames illuminating my path, a hallway that was easily 30 ft wide and 10 ft tall. With the lights on, I saw two giant statues that were easily 30 ft tall depicting soldiers with spear and shield standing guard facing each other. As I passed them I got a gut feeling that the statues were somehow watching me, when I got a certain distance away from them the feeling subsited. Before I was able to enter the hallway the fire bowls lit up from, the sight of a piece of the wall pulled itself in and slid to the side. “Hmmm, I get the feeling that I’m wanted to go that way.” Stepping into the secret hallway the piece of the wall closes behind me, as torches along the wall ignite themselves lighting my path. But that wasn’t the only thing that I saw when the lights came on, mural painting of the ancient humans that lived here. The painting depicted things like farming, war, the government, celebrations, hunting parties, slaying beasts, and exploration. Out of all the murals on the walls, four that were very specific caught my eye. One looked like the humans getting into spaceships to leave this planet. The second one showed the, I’m guessing, leaders of the zebras, dragons, and minotaurs, bowing their heads to the human king. The third mural really unnerves me, a human army fighting the symbol of Malice the Chaos God of Anarchy. The fourth and final one, showed a human and an anthropomorphic horse with a unicorn horn and wings teaming up to cast the symbol of Malice back into the warp, or at least I think it's the warp.
*BA-BOOM*
“That doesn’t sound good, I should get out of here before whatever made that explosion finds me.” So I ran down the rest of the hallway to an open area that looked like it was untouched by time. There was a very thick tall tree in the middle of the area surrounded by grass, flowers, and even a stream was passing through the middle of the tree’s roots.
*KA-BOOM*
“Well that ruined the moment and the explosion sounded closer this time, maybe I should get out of here.” Looking for an exit I step up towards the tree and surprisingly a hole forms from the tree and a ring is revealed floating at its center. “Da fuck….” Taking a closer look at the ring shows me that it's very detailed in design with its mixture of green and blue stones. “This ring reminds me of a dimensional storage ring from one of those webtoon comics involving martial arts.” When I put the ring a flood of info went into my brain all at once.
Gold Coins: 8,683,738,930 Gold Bars: 23,536 Weapons v Clothing v Textiles v Books v Scrolls v
*KRACK-BOOM*
Before the list of items could finish, the stone door that led to the massive hallway exploded sending debris and smoke everywhere. Thinking quickly, I put my staff into the ring, used the smoke as cover and quickly went behind the tree and climbed into its branches to hide. As the smoke began to clear I could make out several figures walking out of the smoke. ‘Anthropomorphic horses…..what the actual fuck.’ The presumed leader of this group walked out of the smoke looking like a Indiana Jones villian ripoff, about 6’ tall, light green eyes, wearing tan archaeology clothing, a red ascot tie with white polka dots, light brown fur, a black mane with gray streaks, and 5 o’clock shadow.
Speaking in a very distinctive Spanish accent, “Spread out and search this place, I want that treasure found now! And bring her to me!”
As this ripoff’s goons scatter I hear struggling coming from the hole, “Let go of me!” Definitely a female’s voice. “Hey what where you’re touching, you dick!”
*Thwump*
“EEEEEEEEEEEE!” I instinctively pull my legs together and grimace at the pain that goon is feeling right now, ‘That’s got hurt.’
“*Sigh* Daring Do would you please refrain from hurting my stallions, I do need them.”
This mare, Daring Do, also looked like an Indy ripoff with her green explorer clothing. Her fur was golden and had black to light-grey color palette for a mane color, violet eyes, a pair of what looked like C-cup tits, and she had wings. ‘Must be a pegasus then.’
“Well he wouldn’t be in pain right now if he kept his hands to himself. Either way, I would let you get away with this Caballeron!” Daring Do said glaring at Caballeron.
“That’s Dr.Caballeron to you Daring, anyway I should be thanking you. Thanks to your notes that I borrowed-”
“Stole, you stole my notes.”
“*Eyeroll* Thanks to you I was able to find the Last Temple of King Alexander of the Humans before he took his people to the stars.”
“You’re expecting treasure here aren’t you.”
“Correct”, Dr.Caballeron states with a smug grin.
“Boss!” One of the goons can up.
“What?”
“We searched the whole room and all of the wall for a secret entrance but didn’t find anything indicaticating another room.”
“*Facepalm* So this temple was a waste of time?”
“It would appear so boss.”
“Great *sigh*, wait idea, we have extra rope right?”
“Yeah I think so, I can go check if you want.”
Dr.Caballeron nods and the goon goes off.
“What are you planning, Dr.Caballeron?” Daring Do asks with a raised eyebrow
“A plan that involves getting rid of the biggest thorn in my side.” Caballeron responds with a chuckle.
Daring Do’s ear flatten and her pupils become pin pricks.
“BOSS WE GOT EXTRA!!” The goon yells.
“EXCELLENT, BRING IT HERE!!” Dr.Caballeron yells back.
The goon comes running back with easily a 100 ft spool of rope.
“Good now, EVERYPONY GATHER UP!” Dr.Caballeron yells. ‘Everypony? Really?’
Once all of his goons are together he begins, “Today gentlecolt we get rid of the biggest thorn in our sides, Daring Do.”
“YEAH!” “FINALLY!” “ABOUT TIME!” They reply.
“Now take that spool of rope and tie her to that tree trunk tightly and then we’ll leave her to the elements.”
“NO, YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS!” Daring Do screams, all the while trying to fight Caballeron’s goons off.
“I already have.” Dr.Caballeron says with a cheshire grin. “And gag her, I don’t want to hear her screams when I leave.”
“YOU BASTARD, I'LL- MMMM!” Daring tried to yell before getting gaged.
“Ah silence, let's get out of here. I believe Ahuizotl has a job for us when we get back.” Caballeron said to his men, ur stalions? Fuck this is going to be confusing.
While I watched Caballeron and his goons leave I could hear Daring Do’s muffled yelling and trying to escape her bindings. After an hour of waiting to make sure Dr.Caballeron was gone, Daring stopped moving from either exhaustion or she gave up. ‘Guess it's time for me to come down and formally meet the locals.’ I thought.
Dropping off my branch and landing with a thud, Daring’s head snaps up to look at me. She first looks at me up and down with a puzzled look then the realization of what I am hits her hard, her eyes widen and I can hear her muffled giggling of excitement.
“Heh, you’re pretty excited for someone in your current position. Here let me get that gag for you.” I said kneeling down and undoing her gag.
“Blah *spits*, thanks.” I nod “Before I ask any major question, were you in that tree the whole time I was with Dr.Caballeron?”
“Yeah, I know his type and I don’t have patients for people like him. So I kept myself hidden and waited until I knew he was a good distance away from this temple.” I explain.
“I get that but you’re still an asshole for not helping me.” Daring said glaring holes into my head.
“Fair enough, so what are these questions that you want to ask me?” I ask while cutting her bindings with my combat knife.
“So are you human?” She asks while I help her up, she rubs her wrists and gets out a pencil and notepad.
“Yes, yes I am.”
“Why didn’t you leave with King Alexander when he took your people to the stars?”
“Because I’m not from this world.”
She pauses writing and looks up, “What do you mean?”
“Hmmm how do I explain this, ever heard of the multiverse theory?”
“Ahhh no, I don’t think so.”
“Ok the theory is like this, there are an infinite amount of universes out there and that are being created. One example is that you could have been in Dr.Caballeron’s place and him in yours. Another example is that a character in a fantasy book in this universe could be real life in another universe.” I explain the best I could.
“So you’re from a different universe?”
"Yup, same human species, different universe."
"Are the humans from your universe as technologically advanced."
"If King Alexander took the whole human race to the star with him, then no. The best my people have done is get two men safely to the moon and back again."
"Ok next question, how did you get here to Equis?"
"Uuuhhh, I'd rather not get into it, but did you see something enter the atmosphere last night?"
"The loud boom and fire streak in the sky was you?!" Daring shouted with a shocked look on her face.
"Yup."
"How did you survive that fall, you should have been burnt to a crisp."
"I came in a metal pod that protected me. Now I have a question to ask."
"Shoot."
"Why are you writing our conversation down?"
"So I tell Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of this great discovery, a human being hasn't been seen in over 5,000 years. You my friend are a pretty big deal."
"Great just what I want, unneeded attention. Let's continue this conversation on the way to wherever you need to go, I'll provide a ride."
"How are yo-"
Daring's words died in her mouth when I pulled my staff out of the storage ring. I close my eyes, breath in, ignite my staff in my blue flames and slam the bottom end of it on the ground sending blue waves of energy covering the temple. Once I had control of every piece of temple I began moving things around starting with the roof. What was once a thick stone roof is now a large opening letting the sun light in, next on my list was the murals, I started to move stone bricks to reveal the secret hallway then I made the hallway roof taller so I can pull the murals and the walls out in one piece. Before I did anything else I reinforced the mural walls with my flames so I didn’t have to be gentle with them as I put them in my ring, I chuckled a little when I heard Daring gasp in horror when she saw me covering the murals in flames. With that done, I can finally make our transport out of the little garden area that we’re standing on. Focusing only on the garden I began to pull it all from the ground, turned the river into a pond for the tree, and kept it all in one piece permanently with my flames.
“Woah, what are you doing? Daring asks while taking flight.
“Since I can’t fly, I need some mode of transportation.” I respond, still focusing.
“But did it have to be a fly garden?”
“No but a flying garden is a lot cooler than anything that I could think of.”
I opened my eyes to begin, I slowly lifted the garden out of the ground, once it was a good distance off the ground I sped up and out of the temple. Daring didn’t have too much trouble keeping up with me before she landed next to me.
“Did you know when you use your magic your eyes are pure white with blue flames coming out of the outer corner of your eyes?
“No I did not, that’s pretty cool, it’s not magic but we’ll call it magic because I’m lazy and don’t want to explain it.” I respond. “Also can you give me directions, I have no idea where to go.”
“Yeah sure, see that castle on the side of that mountain over there?”
“I see it but how is that poss- wait no, magic, it’s always magic.” I groan out.
“Head there, right next to the castle is the city of Canterlot.”
“Got it.” I start increasing the flight speed of the garden to head in that direction, but not too fast, I still want to take in the new and unfamiliar land.
We’re almost out of the forest when Daring asks, while getting out her notepad and pencil, “So while we wait, can I ask some general questions?”
“Go ahead.”
“How tall are you, your hair and eye color, sex, age, three likes and dislikes, sexual preferance, and are you sexualy active?” She fires off.
“I’m 6’ 3”, brown hair and eyes, male, 23, I like strawberries, astronomy, and wolfs; I dislike spinach, people who are egotistical, and being the center of attention; I’m straight, I’ve tried a dick up my butt and I don’t like it at all; virgin.” I list off to her.
“Ok got it, wait, you’re a virgin at 23?” Staring at me shocked.
“Yeah, is that uncommon?” I answer with an eyebrow raised.
“Extremely, colts become stallions legally at 16 since the gender ratio is ten females to every one male. What is it in your world?”
“I’d say about 50-50. So in other words this world is in short supply of males.”
“Pretty much.”
“Lovely.” I groan. As I look to my right and I notice three pegasi coming our way fast. “Hey three pegasi coming in fast to your right, friends of yours?”
“Friends? No, but I think I know how they are. I’ll talk to them, and also slow down a bit so they don’t think you’re trying to make a break for it.”
I nod and she takes off toward the pegasi, I slow down to a walking speed but I’m ready to accelerate at a moment's notice. After a few minutes of them talking, all four pegasi started to fly over to me. Once the three unknowns got close enough I could immediately tell there were two mares and one stallion just by the skin tight suit they were wearing, I know the suits are meant to keep them streamline but damn does it leave nothing to the imagination, all three are toned as fuck.
Daring comes up to explain our situation, "So here's the deal, the Wonderbolts are going to escort us to Canterlot and get the princesses for us so you don't have to get off our flying garden. Before we move on let's do some introductions, we can start with…..in all honesty I completely forgot to ask you for your name, so we'll start with you."
Patting Daring on the shoulder, "Nah it's fine, with what you went through I totally get it." Turning to our three guests, "Before I start I want to put a couple of things out there." They nod. "One, hot damn your suits leave nothing to the imagination. Two, you my stallion friend is one lucky son of a bitch to be able to work with two smoking ladies, I envy you I really do."
"Damn right you should be, if these two weren't always so serious we would be in a relationship by now." The stallion replies with a smug ass grin, right before getting punched in the stomach by the mare with the white mane and lime green fur and slapped in the back of his head by the mare with the orange-gold mane and yellow fur. "Ugh." He groans out.
"Ow, anyway onto introductions, my name is Antonio and I'm a human, one Ms.Daring Do found me in an ancient human temple that was in that huge forest back there, what is the forest called?" Turning to Daring.
"The Everfree Forest."
“Thank you, so let’s move on to you three.” I say jestering to the three Wonderbolts.
“Right, I’m Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts to my left is my second in command First Lieutenant Soarin Skies and Second Lieutenant Fleetfoot. It’s a pleasure to meet you Antonio the Human.” As Spitfire talks all three salute me.
Daring Do also chimes in looking at the Captain, “Since about to pass by Ponyville, the small town just on the edge of the Everfree,” Daring points out for me, “we are more or less likely going to run into Rainbow Dash. What are we going to do about her?”
“Another friend of yours?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah and a major fan of my work, you're inevitably going to meet her because of what she and her friends do. I’ll let the princesses explain that part to you.”
Spitfire nods, "Yeah you'll meet her soon, as a heads up, she can be really cocky at times but is loyal to her friends like no other. And we'll deal with Rainbow when we see her on our way to Canterlot." Jestering to her team.
As I was about to start moving again, I noticed a rainbow streak come out of Ponyville and start to head toward us, “Speaking of rainbows, is that her now?” Pointing at the rainbow streak.
Spitfire looks over her shoulder to see her, “*sigh* Yeah, that’s her, I’ll deal with her since I’m her CO, you guys hang back.” We all nod.
She takes off toward Rainbow leaving a trail of smoke behind her.
“*whistle* Do all you Wonderbolts leave a smoke trail behind when you fly?” I ask the two remaining Wonderbolts.
“Depends, any pegasus can leave a streak of their mane color if they go fast enough. We Wonderbolts leave smoke behind because we are both the air force for Equestria and famous aerial performers.” Soarin explains.
“Cool, hey, looks like Spitfire is coming back.” I point out, in the distance I can see a Rainbow flying off back to Ponyville and Spitfire heading back.
“So Rainbow and her friends will be meeting up with us at Canterlot.” Spitfire explains.
“Great, so lets start moving again.” I put more power into the garden to pick up speed, and we finally got moving again.
Once we got out of Everfree air space Daring Do slapped me on my back, “May I be the first one to welcome you to my home, Equestria.”
“Heh, thanks Daring, I can already feel the chaos that my presence will bring.” I responded with a smile.
It didn’t take long before we were upon Canterlot air space and intercepted by several white female pegasi in golden armor that all look identical.
While Spitfire chatted with one of the pegasi I tapped Daring on the arm, “Sooo….” jestering to our armored guests.
“Royal guard and their armor is enchanted to make them all look the same.”
“Ah.” Turning my attention back to the guards.
A few minutes passed and then the guards flew back to the castle and Splitfire flew back to us.
“What’s the low down Captain?” I ask.
“The princesses want to come to you face-to-face on your floating garden. I personally think Princess Celestia is using this chance to get out of Day Court, can’t say I blame her.” She tells me with a little chuckle.
“Got it, I’ll set something up for them, and Daring I’ll give you the two wall murals from the temple when I get a chance.”
“Thanks, I’ve been itching to study them when you pulled them from the wall.” She shakes my hand and glides to the castle most likely going to give the princesses her notes on me.
I nod, “And Wonderbolts,” They turn to face me “I hope we meet again soon, and thanks for the escort.”
“It's been a real pleasure.” They all shake my hand, salute, and rocket off towards the castle.
With my new friends…..friends?.....yeah friends, gone, I look around for a good place to place my garden. I came to the conclusion to put my garden near one of the outer towers but still a couple hundred feet away from the tower itself. Once there I looked through the storage ring to see if there was anything I could use to make the empty area of the garden nicer. To my surprise there was a small round wooden table with three chairs, a complete tea set, a bag of assorted tea leaves, milk, cream, sugar, and some tea cookies. I guess spending four years as an exchange student in the UK really paid off right now, I got everything set up and ready for the princesses including a hot pot of my personal tea leaf blend in under eight minutes, and just in time too cause I could hear the sound of large wings flapping.
It didn’t take long before I saw two unicorn-pegasus hybrids coming my way, once they landed I could feel an aura of royalty surrounding them. Guessing who-was-who was easy, Princess Celestia was on my right with her spotless white fur, golden crown and her flowing aurora borealis mane; Princess Luna was on my left with her dark blue fur, black gold crown and star night sky mane. Princess Celestia was easily 8 foot, not including her horn, her dress looked like something that Aphrodite would wear, it hugged her sides showing her hourglass figure, didn't show a lot of her cleavage but just enough to enhance her beauty and the size of watermelon breasts, the sides of her dress were open up to her thighs revealing a lot of leg, on both of her legs were tattoos in the shape of a sun, and covered an ass that you can bounce a quarter off of. Princess Luna on the other hand went for the tomboy princess look with a dark blue dress jacket and pants with silver outlines and black shin high boots. She was much shorter than Princess Celestia but still taller than me by a few inches, maybe 6’ 8” without her horn. But like Celestia her body was nothing to snuff at, it looked tightly built with muscle for combat, with coconut size breasts that turned her tomboy look very feminine. With my arms crossed and me leaning back in my chair as I stared at the two princesses and they stared back analyzing me by the slight shift in their eyes. The tense air around the garden was so thick that you could cut it with a knife, so I decided to cut first.
With a flick of my finger I pulled the two chairs in front of me out, “Please sit, there is much to talk about.”
“Indeed there is, human.” Princess Luna says with a suspicious tone. Then walks up to the table and I flick my finger again to pull in the chair for her. She nods her thanks, I nod back.
“Luna, can you please be more respectful to our guest.” Princess Celestia says as she walks up and I pull the chair in for her too. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome princess, now would either you like some tea? It’s my own personal mixture to help calm the nerves, Captain Spitfire told me that you just came out of Day Court, Princess Celestia. Do note that I have no idea what Day Court is, but I do know court in general is very tiring and nerve-racking.”
“Yes I would like some, thank you.” I levitate a cup of tea with a saucer over to her and she puts five spoonfuls of sugar in her tea. “This is an exquisite blend you made….um…”
“Antonio your majesty, and you Princess Luna?”
“Raw tea will do, human.” I nod and levitate her cup to her.
“Luna, please!”
“No sister I will not, we both know that humans are beings that are more chaotic than Discord so the stories go, and can easily end these peaceful times that you fought so hard to achieve!
“But they can also help reinforce the peace between Equestria and the other nations.” Celestia counters.
“Maybe so sister, but we both know so little about the human race in general. What we do know are based off of legends and old stories from around the world, and the location of the records that were left behind by mother were lost during the Great Chaos War. So I’m suspicious of this human until further notice. That reminds me, human, how did you know who we were before we could introduce ourselves?” As Luna turns to me with a raised eyebrow.
“Well it was quite simple really.” They both looked at me with a questioning look.
“How so?” Celestia asks.
“In Latin, it's the root language of most languages where I come from, Luna means the moon and is another name for the goddess of the moon, Artemis. Now Celestia is a female given name, which is a variant of Celeste, which means ‘heavenly’ or ‘of the sky’ in Latin.” I explain.
“Oh.” They both said.
“That and Captain Spitfire told me your names, plus the combination of your names and fur colors gave away who-was-who.” I responded with a joking tone.
After a minute of tea enjoying silence, Luna broke it with a question, “So what are you human? When our mother told us tales of your species she always said that humans can’t use magic at all and solely rely on their technology and ingenuity to survive.”
Setting down my tea cup, I answered her question, “Your mother is correct when she said we can’t use magic, but I am not from this world. I come from a different universe or dimension if you will. Even then, humans from my world don’t have magic because it never existed in the first place. I was given my powers thanks to a very powerful being that I met by chance, he sent me for reasons I do not know. Now I have a question for you two, what species are you?”
“We are Alicorns.” Celestia answers. “Our race is a mix of all three pony races, unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies. We are ageless, stronger, have more magic, and have more powerful wings than the three races. There are only five Alicorns on Equis at this moment, one of which is still a newborn filly.”
“I see, I’m assuming that there are other races on Equis than just you and your ponies.”
“You would be correct, human.” Luna answers this time. “There are many races on Equis but the major ones are, the zebras of Zebrica, the minotaurs of the Iron Horn Kingdom, the griffons of Griffenstone, the diamond dogs and their underground settlements, the dragons of the Dragonlands, and the crystal ponies of the Crystal Empire. The zebras, griffons, minotaurs, and dragons all see the human race as some sort of warrior god race. We have asked them why they believe this in the past, but they have all stonewalled us for some reason.”
“Do be careful around them, they may be our trusted allies but they hold their secrets very close to their chest to protect from wandering eyes. That scares us a bit since we have on idea what those secrets hold.” Warned Celestia.
"Understood, I'll be careful around them if I ever meet them. But let's get off these heavy subjects, do you two want to talk about something lighter, like, what is Day Court?"
"Very well human, sister, this one is your's." Luna says rolling her eyes.
"Very well, there are two types of courts that me and my sister look over, Day Court and Night Court. I govern the Day Court and Luna governs the Night Court, court in general is a time when anypony in Equestria can come to us with concerns, grievances, requests, or suggestions." Celestia explains for me.
"Interesting, I have a question for you Celestia, why do you have a tattoo of a sun on your thigh?"
Celestia looked at me for a second before giggling into her hand, Luna joined her with some laughter of her own. I just shake my head and sigh at their response to my question, so I decided to drink some more tea while I wait for both princesses to get the laughing session out of their systems.
After some good long sips of tea I ask with an unamused look, "Are you two done yet? It was just a simple question, not the funniest joke ever told."
"Terribly sorry about Antonio." Celestia said while her giggle bug slowly dies. "I've never had anypony call my cutie mark a tattoo."
"So that's what those marks are called. Can I also assume that these cutie marks do more than look nice?"
"Aaaahhhh, that was a good laugh." Princess Luna finally stopped laughing to catch her breath. "And yes you would be correct human, there is more to a cutie mark than just looks. A cutie mark represents one's talent/destiny at something, my cutie mark is a moon and because of that I raise and lower the moon. My sister's cutie mark is a sun as you pointed out, she raises and lowers the sun."
I just blankly look at Princess Luna for a second before rubbing the bridge of my nose while trying to digest, “So simply put the pony race requires a cutie mark to find out what their destiny in life is?” I received a nod from Luna and Celestia. “That is a very weird and forgein concept to me”. I say shaking my head and chuckling a little.
“Do humans not get cutie marks?” Celestia asks.
“No we do not Princess, for us humans it’s a lot of trial and error to find out what we’re good at. Sometimes it’s a requirement for a job, other times it’s a temporary skill that we have to learn for a crappy job.”
Celestia tilts her head to the side slightly with a questioning look, “Why would a human learn a skill they don’t want to for a job they don’t want to be at?”
“To survive.” I answer. “Sometimes there is no other job opening at the time and that crappy job is the only way to earn an income to pay the bills and put food on the table. One can not keep a roof over their head if they do not pay the bills, and one will starve if they do not have the money to buy food with.”
"Wow, that sounds like a very unforgiving way to live." Luna comments.
"It is but we humans make the best out of the hand we're dealt. Now let's get off of this heavy subject and pick up the mood a bit, shall we?" Both princesses agree with a nod.
After a while of small ideal chit-chat I notice a royal guard flying toward us, "We have a visitor princess." Pointing to the female guard.
Both princesses turn around as the guard lands and kneels before Celestia, "Princess, the nobles are getting restless by your absence."
"*sigh*, Very well, tell them that I'll return to them shortly." Celestia tells the guard, while rubbing her eyes. The guard nods and flies off back to the castle. "Terribly sorry that I have to cut this short l, Antonio." Turning back to me.
"Nah, it's fine Celestia. You and your sister have a country to run, there are requirements that must be kept to keep everyone happy." I tell her.
Celestia nods, "Thank you for understanding Antonio. Since you don't have a place to stay for now, would you like to stay in the castle?"
"Sure why not, tho, I don't think your sister likes that idea by the face that she's making." Pointing to Luna who has her muzzle scrunched up in a look of distrust.
"I don't mind you being in the castle, it's just I don't trust you.” Said Luna turning away with a huff.
"Then what can I do to make you trust me?" I ask.
"I would feel better if two of my night guards that I pick follow you around while you're in the castle and Canterlot."
"That's cool, whatever works for you princess. I'll be out of your hair….mane….whatever, I'll be gone once I get a basic understanding of this world. Most likely will set up shop in the Everfree Forest."
Both princesses look at me with puzzled looks, "What why?!" Celestia slamming her hands into the table. "It's one of the most dangerous places on Equis, why would you want to live there?!" She yelled in a worried tone.
"Simple, it feels like home. Equestria feels too unnatural to me, the clouds don't move on their own, the land itself is too vibrant with color, and the sun hasn't moved since it rose this morning." They continued to look at me with a face of confusion. "*Sigh* Look, I appreciate that you are concerned for my well being, but it's unnecessary. I can handle myself just fine when it comes to dangerous situations. Now come on, you" Pointing to Celestia "have Day Court to do, and you" Pointing to Luna "have a pair of guards to assign to me."
Me getting up snaps them out of their confused state and gets up as well. Once up I store everything back into my ring.
"Thank you for the tea Antonio, it was lovely. Now let us be off." Said Celestia with a smile.
I nod, "I'll meet up with you two on the ground. I don't have wings, so I'll teleport to you once you're in front of the castle."
They both nod and fly off to the castle. Once gone, I place my hand on the garden and enchant it once more with a different effect. 'Hee, that should keep any unwanted guests off my garden.' Happy with my work, I walk to the edge and spot the princesses patiently waiting for me to come down. "Well, let's not keep the pretty ladies waiting." I say to myself.
Flaring a bit of power into my staff, I disappear from my floating garden and reappear in front of the princesses. They didn't even move a muscle, let alone blink, the guards on the other hand freaked the fuck out and began to rushed me with their spears.
"HALT INTRUDER!" Yelled a female guard. "YOU WILL NOT STEP CLOSER TO PRINCESS CELESTIA!"
I make a visible eye roll which doesn't sit well with the guards as they respond with one step forward with spear tips near my neck. "Your little ponies are quite protective of you, Princess Celestia."
Celestia giggles, "Yes they are, sometimes a little too protective, nevertheless" Turning to her guards. "Ok my little ponies, you all can stand down, he is a guest here at the castle." Turning back to me. "And thank you Antonio for not hurting them."
"Not a problem Princess, they're just doing their job. Not like they could hurt me permanently anyway."
I can feel the hateful glares that I'm getting these mares, then a female guard steps forward with more decorative pieces of armor on. 'Hmmm, must be their CO.' "Is that a challenge 'honorable guest'?" She asked with disdain in her voice.
"Only if you want it to be, miss…"
"Captain Crystal Clear of the Solar Guard, and yes I do want it to be a challenge. I will not let me and my girls be insulted by some nobody who just walt's into Canterlot saying that the Solar Guard can't take down a target." Getting up in my face and poking my chest.
I look at her straight into her eyes and smirk for a second, 'Let's cause some discors.' I pull back my hood, which gets a lot of gasps from the gathering crowd, and the Captain's eyes widen as she realizes what I am. Before anyone could do anything, I grab the sides of the Captain's face and pull her for a large wet kiss. I hold her there for a couple of seconds before letting go with a loud lip smack. The moment I let the Captain go she fell to her knees still in a state of shock.
“Congratulations Captain, you are the first mare in this era to kiss a human. Also, come find me with the when and where of this challenge you want, ta ta.” I said patting her on the shoulder, then gave her a two finger salute as I walked off towards the princesses.
“Was all that really necessary, Antonio?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Hmmm, not really, but it was entertaining to be a part of.” I respond with a shit eating grin.
Both princesses just shake their head with a chuck as we walk toward the castle. As we reach the giant front doors of the castle I look over my shoulder to see the Captain’s Solar Guards trying to shake her out of her state of shock. ‘I think I’m going to enjoy my stay here in this world.’ I think as I walk into the castle.
Dimensional Orbital Drop Psyker
As we walked through the massive golden doors, I finally got to see what a really fancy medieval castle may have looked like. The floors were made of a white marble with red carpet going down the middle, the walls were also a white marble but with a gold outline. There were fancy chandeliers, portraits of, what I could guess, famous ponies that made history, maids cleaning expensive vases and sculptures, and guards standing at attention along every hall.
"Quite the place you two got here, it's very impressive but I personally find it to be overwhelming." I said still looking around like a kid in a candy shop.
"*giggle* It can be at times, but when you have to live here to keep a country in order the castle grows on you." Celestia tells me.
"Really?" I ask with a questioning look. "How long does one have to live here before that happens?"
"A century at least, it took me almost a millennia." Celestia says in a sad tone.
'Must have brought up bad memories from the past.' "So where are we going now?" I ask trying to change the mood.
"We are heading to the throne room where the Day and Night Courts happen." Luna says. "Sister, I am going back to my chambers, it is too early for me to be up. And human," Luna turns to me. "I will send some guards to find you when Night Court begins."
"Very well Luna have a good-"
"AAAAAAUUUUUUNNNNNNTTTTTYYYYY!!!!!"
Everything came to a complete stop after I recovered from the posh sounding yell of a stallion. I looked around to see what was happening, all the mares around me had flattened their ears and had a mixture of fear and tiredness in their eyes, the princesses just looked tired and had enough. The maid quickly gathered their clean tools and left in the opposite direction of the voice, and all the nearby guards all gathered up in groups of five and started to do their 'patrols'. All who were left were the princesses and myself.
"And there is my queue to leave, so you later tonight human." And with a loud pop Princess Luna was gone.
"Traitor…"
I turned to see Celestia with a face of betrayal and her left eye twitching. Then I hear the sound of hooves clopping on the floor at a brisk pace, “Aunty there you are, I need you to get rid of one of the masseuses. She chipped one of my nails and didn’t clean my mane with the oils that we ordered from Saddle Arabia, instead she used that trash from Ponyville.”
If you told me that I would meet someone that embodied the saying, ‘Money makes the world go around.’, I would have called you crazy. But seeing is believing and damn do I believe, before me was a unicorn stallion that was about neck high, with snow white fur and a golden mane dressed in some white spa robes, who was flanked by two buff looking stallions in royal purple armor with golden trim and both armed with a halberg. The entitlement and ego that is just radiating off of him is nauseating, makes me want to punch him in the face and shave him hairless.
Celestia just facepalms, “Blueblood, please tell me you didn’t have your personal guard ‘escort’ her out of the castle?”
“Of course not Aunty, she is a devoted member of your church, so I wanted to see the look on her face when the goddess she worships fires her from her job.” Blueblood said with a sneer.
'Wow', I just look at Blueblood with a dumbfounded face. 'Not only is he a whiny arrogant bitch, but also a spoiled narcissistic cunt.'
"No I won't do that dear nephew, ever; anywho I have a guest to take care of before I go to Day Court." Celestia said jestering to me.
Blueblood seems to finally notice me with a surprised face of disgust, "That's a guest? I thought it was a hairless ape for the zoo."
"*Gasp* Prince Blueblood how dare-"
*FWOOSH!!*
Blue flames erupted from my staff as my anger grew, all the ponies in the hallway froze with shock for a second, then Blueblood's guards regained their focus and went into action to protect their charge. They came at me trying to skewer with their halberds, I simply flick my wrist to my left imprinting them into the marble wall, they’re not dead mind you, just ‘immobilized’. I slowly walked toward Blueblood, staff still alive with blue flames of fury, until I was face-to-face with him looking down.
“I'm sorry what was that about a zoo?” I ask with fury in my voice.
Blueblood attempts to back away from me, but instead trips and falls on his ass.
“B-b-back away ape, don’t y-y-you know who I am?! I’m P-p-prince BlueBlood of Equestria and I will not be bullied by-oof!”
I cut off his little speak by slamming my foot into his chest and holding it there so his back stays on the ground.
I look down on the prince with flames behind me, “Now listen here prissy bitch, I am a human and I will be regarded as one. What you’re going to do from now on is leave me the hell alone for the duration of my stay at this castle, and if you ever cause any trouble for me I’m going to rip off you balls and shove them up your ass so every time you shit, you shit all over your balls! Do I make myself clear?!”
“........”
“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!”
“.......”
Then I hear the faint sound of a liquid running, I turn my head to get a better scope of where the sound is coming from only to get hit in the face with a pungent smell, horse piss. Looking back at the downed prince, I see his eyes have rolled back into his skull, he’s foaming at the mouth, and he peed himself in his white robes.
I take my foot off his chest and step back to look at the carnage I created, “I may have gone a little too far, can’t say he didn’t deserve it tho.”
I turn to see Celestia face palming, "Faust damnit, this is exactly what I want to avoid. I'm terribly sorry that you had to meet my nephew like this."
"And I'm sorry I destroyed your wall."
"It's quite alright, it can be fixed. And thank you for not permanently injuring Blueblood, even if he can be a rotten being at times." Celestia said with a chuckle.
I just give her a deadpan look.
"....all the time." She reiterates.
"That sounds about right." I nod.
I then hear someone running from around the corner of the hallway, "Ah Princess there you are, I've been looking everywhere for you. Day Court is….about….begin…., should I call the guards, Princess?"
Everything about this new mare with grey fur screamed 'I'm a secretary'. She had the clipboard, the raven black bee-hive hairstyle, the secretary clothing that came out of a 80's movie, and a face that meant 'business only' with her half-glasses. This mare wasn't a bad looker either, I'd say she was about 5' 5", an earth pony, mid-thirties, an average body with a little curve and a C-cup maybe.
"No it is quite alright Raven, Blueblood had it coming." Celestia said turning to Raven.
"When doesn't he deserve it?" She counters with a monotone voice.
"Indeed." Celestia giggles. "Raven, I'd like you to meet Antonio the Human, he will be staying in the castle for the foreseeable future."
Raven turns to me, looks me up and down, "Let me guess, the prince called you a hairless ape and you pummeled him."
"Close." I chuckle. "I left a boot imprint on his chest, he's currently foaming and he pissed himself. I also cratered his two guards in the wall." Jestering to the two stone angel guards.
"Ha, I like you already. Once your actions here spread through the castle, you'll have earned some fans from the Night Guard and maids. You'll get spite from the Day Guard tho, they tend to be the children on nobles." Raven explains.
"Anyway, we've delayed Day Court long enough. Princess, shall we go?" Raven said, pulling a watch out of her pocket. "Also, are we bringing Mr.Antonio with us?" Turning to me.
"Yes we are, I want him to see what Day Court is and have him near until dinner." Celestia smiles.
"Wow, possessive of me already, Celestia? You didn't even ask me out yet." I joke.
Raven stumbled for a second before fixing her half-glasses with one hand, “Mr.Antonio, please refrain from flirting with the princess.”
“Do you want me to flirt with you instead?” asking with a smirk.
The fur around her cheeks got a little lighter, “......No comment.”
“Either way let’s get a move on to court.” As I gesture the mares to lead.
We quickly walk through the maze like hallways of the castle to make up for lost time. In the meantime, I'm lost in thought wondering about the rest of this world and if I'm going to encounter beings from the warp or worshipers of the chaos gods. Demise was once here before if those wall paintings are to be believed, if so then I think I can safely assume I'll come across one of his worshipers sooner or later.
Not much later I hear the sound of high-society, you know, blah blah complain blah blah money blah blah fashion blah blah.
'I don't want to deal with the nobles here nor make an unnecessary scene.' I thought.
So I covered most of my face with the hood on my robe, "Hey Raven, how do I look?"
She turns to me with a raised eyebrow, "Like a wandering mage that bought an overpriced staff and a cheap robe."
"Prefect." I say with a smile with confused Raven.
"Why is that perfect?" She asks.
"Tell if I'm wrong, but don't nobles in general ignore those who they deem lesser than themselves?"
"Ah, I see what you're getting at." Raven picking up on my idea. "You want to look poor so the nobles will ignore you."
"Right on the nose, Raven. I will hide in plain sight, more or less."
As we got closer to the crowd of nobles and normal citizens, my disguise seemed to work almost immediately. The look of disgust and disdain they all have was just what I wanted, it also didn't take long before they started to gossip about me being near their princess.
We reach a large golden door that most likely leads to the throne room. Celestia turned around with arms wide open, “Thank you my little ponies for being patient, I had some very important eirens that had to be done quickly. Now, let me set up first and I’ll be right with you all.”
Once she, Raven, and two guards walked behind those golden doors and closed with a loud bang, most nobles turned their attention to me. Mind you that I keep forgetting the female to male ratio is 10:1(somehow), and because of this, all but one of the nobles that are currently berating me with questions and accusations are female. The only dude that I saw was a white unicorn, about 5' 10", in a very sharp looking suit with a monocle, and three crowns flawlessly sewn into his suit on his right shoulder.
After a good minute of the female nobles getting in my face, the only male noble decided to speak up, "Now now ladies," All eyes were on him now. "why don't you give the poor stallion some space. He doesn't look like he has ever been in a situation like this before."
"And you be correct, I haven't ever been surrounded by mares before." I comment. "Mr…."
"Ah where are my manners, I am Sir Fancy Pants owner of the Canterlot Times." He said with a small bow and then offered a handshake.
I shake his hand, "Antonio, I'm a wandering wizard."
"Ah, so I can safely guess that you came to Day Court to ask Princess Celestia some sort of magic related subject?" Fancy inquired.
"I just came back from the Everfree Forest after I found an ancient temple that was made by human hands."
In response, I got a bunch of gasps and murmurs from the group of nobles, even Fancy Pants went wide eyed at my mention of the human temple.
"Truly? A human temple?" I nod "This is an incredible discovery, you must tell the princess immediately!" Fancy said excitedly.
"I will Sir Fancy Pants, I will, but I assume there is a line of sorts in order to talk to Princess Celestia, correct?" I see a couple of nods in the group. "Then I can guess that I am last in line, so I will bring this discovery to Princess Luna when her Night Court begins."
"Mmmm, I see the logic there. It's a shame tho, I would have liked to see the announcement myself." Fancy saided shaking his head.
"Indeed, Sir Fancy-"
"Please, call me Fancy."
"Very well, Fancy, maybe if we meet again we can have a hard drink together and wash the weight of life away for the moment." Holding out my hand.
Fancy gives me a hardy grip and shakes,"I would like that very much, maybe I'll get to introduce you sister. She tends to have a good nose for alcohol, plus she has a knack for drinking me under the table." Ending with one of those 'good memories' chuckles.
"That sounds like a swell time, now I'm off. Have a good rest of your day Fancy, and a good day to the rest of you." Turning to the group of female nobles. Scoffs and turned heads are their response, "Pleasant bunch they are." I say sarcastically. Fancy chuckles a little and we give each other a short wave good-bye.
'Well that was interesting, I like Fancy, he seems like one of the few nobles that deserve the title.' I thought while walking through the castle's halls. After getting lost twice, I finally asked one the guardmares for directions out and to a good food joint. She escorts me to the entrance and tells me of a place called Donut Joe's. I like the place already.
I thank the guard and as I walk off I put my staff away in my ring. Following the directions that were given to me, I got to see quite a bit of Canterlot in all of its glory and grime. Many of the ponies that were wearing expensive looking clothing, had their noses held up so high that I'm surprised how they could even see where they were going. The sounds of the city were a mixed bag, there were sounds that you'd expect like a stand owner trying to attract customers. But there were also petty arguments that I heard as well, one that I laughed at was a 'born with a silver spoon in their mouth' mare complaining to the owner of a pastry shop that she only got one strawberry on her cake instead of two, and threatened to bring the owner to court over it. I got a good laugh out of that conversation.
Eventually I got to my destination, it was one of those 60's diners with a large sign on the roof saying 'Donut Joe's, I shrug and go in. Walking in to the sound of a bell chime, I look around the place. There weren't a lot of people at the moment, but that didn't take away from the charm of this place. It gave off the feeling that Starbucks has; a place to meet up with friends and enjoy a bite to eat, but this place only sold donuts and surgery drinks. Behind the counter I see a unicorn stallion with tan fur, a light brown mane, an apron on with a name tag saying 'Joe'. Currently he was cleaning a milkshake glass before he looked up to me.
"Slow day huh?" I asked while walking up to the counter and sat down on one of the bar stools.
"Yeah no kidding, most of today's orders were take-out." He looks me up and down trying to see my face under the hood. "Never seen you around here before, you new to Canterlot?" He asked.
"You can say that, I just came from the castle after deciding that the line to talk to Princess Celestia wasn't worth it."
"Ah, understandable. So what can I get you?"
"Before I order anything," I pull an ancient human gold coin from the ring's inventory. "can I use this as payment?"
"Hmmm." Joe picks up the coin and eyes it for a while. "This coin looks like a Bit but it's not, on closer inspection the coin lacks the sun and moon symbol of both princesses on the front and a small picture of Canterlot on the back." He explains to me.
*Da-Ding*
Walking into the diner was a mare that was wearing a purple cloak, big red rimmed glasses, and a grey cloche hat. Everything that this mare wore screamed 'this is a disguise'.
"Well if it isn't A.K. Yearling. I have seen you in quite some time." Joe exclaims to the mare.
"It has been some time Joe, your place is one of the best break spots in Canterlot, when it's not packed I might add." Yearling says with a giggle. "Am I interrupting anything." Looking between us.
"Nah nothing like that, but since you're here I could use your help with something." Joe said leaning on the counter and motioning Yearling to come closer.
"What can I help with?" Yearling said in a confused tone.
"You know your history and most things ancient right?"
"More or less, I've done my research for my books."
"You see, this guy here," motioning to me, I wave comically "brought in this coin and wanted to buy some food with it, but the problem is that it's not a bit and that's all I know about it." Joe explains, passing the coin over to Yearling.
"So you're asking me if I can figure out the origin of this coin." Yearling said, glancing at it.
"Pretty much." Joe nods.
"Fine, I'll help." Yearling says in a bored tone.
At first she just lazily looked over the coin, then something caught her enough for her to bring out a magnifying glass. That's when she started to frantically turn the coin over, and examine it. Then she stopped, put the coin and magnifying glass down softly, slowly turned to me, grabbed both of my shoulders, and began to shake me in a violent frenzy.
"WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS COIN?!"
"I-i-in a t-t-e-e-m-m-p-p-l-l-e-e."
Yearling's pupils became pin pricks, "CELESTIA DAMNIT ANTONIO!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"
A.K. Yearling AKA Daring Do grabbed the front of my robe and pulled me nose to nose, "I didn't think it was important at that time." I sheepishly said.
*Da-Ding*
"Not important? NOT IMPORTANT?!" Daring roared. "YOU FOUND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES BEFORE ME AND YOU SAY THE THINGS YOU FOUND INSIDE ARE NOT IMPORTANT?! Shaking me even more to the point my hood fell off. "AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, YOU ARE THE ONLY HUMAN ON THIS PLANET, MAKING YOU A WALKING MYTH!!"
I just look at Daring for a moment, "You need to calm down a bit."
Daring eye twitched, "CALM DOWN?! HOW THE BUCK CAN I CALM DOWN!" Shakes me even more violently. "WHAT ELSE DID YOU FIND IN THE TEMPLE?! WHAT ELSE AREN'T YOU TELLING ME?!"
I grab both of her arms at the wrists to stop the shaking, "If you stop shaking me I can tell you." I say as I let go and de-crumple my robe.
I breathe in and out to calm myself, look Daring straight in the eyes, and boop her right on the nose.
The move stuns her for a second before scrunching up her muzzle and covering her nose, and looks at me with a confused look.
"I booped the snoot of Daring Doot." I say with a grin.
Daring's face went from confused to rage so quickly, "RRRRAAAAHHHHAAAA!!" While screaming at me, she gave me a rage-infused right hook to the jaw. As I flew and landed on my stomach, I heard several gasps from the peanut gallery that our argument acquired.
As I was dazed and getting to a knee, I felt one of my teeth rolling around on my mouth. I check my teeth with my tongue, but all are accounted for. 'Must have regrown instantaneously and I didn't even feel it.' I summarize.
"*GASP*, oh my Celestia, Antonio I'm-" Daring began before I raised a hand to stop her.
I get to my feet, dust off, shake my head a bit, turn around, spit some blood and a molar into my hand, and I give Daring one of those nodding 'Well done' faces.
"Feeling better?" I ask her as if nothing had happened.
She looked at me with a face of confused-alarm, "'FEELING BETTER'?! I just punched you in the face and you lost a molar, then you ask me if I'm feeling better?! Anyway we need to get you to a doctor or something-"
I put my hand in front of her telling her to stop, "Daring Do, you're my first friend on this planet. I would gladly take as many blows as needed to calm you down. Now, I ask you again, are you feeling better?"
"*Sigh*, yes I am, thank you for that." As she massages her forehead, then pulls me into a hug. "And I'm sorry for punching you."
I return the hug, "*Chuckle* No apology needed, but I'll accept it out of kindness."
"Also," She looks up to me and I look down. "don't boop my nose again…..unless I say so." Mumbling that last part in my chest.
"What was that last part?" I ask.
"Nothing, nothing." Pushing me away and turning, finally noticing the group of ponies watching us with their mouths open.
"......Buck, it's you seven.
In front of the door was a mixture of colors, sizes, and species. The six mares and a purple lizard all had their mouths open with shock, most likely from what they witnessed between me and Daring.
Rainbow Dash was the first of the group that I noticed with her rainbow mane, she was a pegasus with a cyan body ment for speed. About 5' 3", a really toned body with her muscles being really defined; looking at her chest, I have determined that she must be part of the A-Team(I'm an asshole). She's wearing a sleeveless top with a rainbow thunderbolt on the front over a sports bra and some shorts.
Next came the other elephant in the room, the purple alicorn with the cute school girl outfit. Everything about this alicorn was purple, purple fur, purple mane with purple stripes, purple wings, and even a purple horn. She even wore a purple sweater vest over her white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Luckily, the skirt that went to her knees was black, it also had a star with several smaller stars surrounding it on the side. The purple alicorn was about my height of 6' 3" without the horn, and a healthy looking body with DD-cups.
Then came the pink earth pony that looked like she injected pure sugar into her veins. Her mane was hot pink and super curly, I won't be surprised if she could store things in there, she had about DD breasts and a plump body that didn’t detract from how much of a looker she was. She wore a tight light blue t-shirt with a party cake on the front that showed off her assets, a short pink skirt, and light blue leggings with party accessories decorating it.
To the right of the pink one was a white unicorn; from her curled royal purple mane to her silk white one-piece dress screamed ‘glamour, fashion, and high-society’. She was a 5' 10" beauty with the body of a model and C-cup tits to boot. The necklace with three blue diamonds she wore seemed to enhance her beauty even more.
Behind the group was an orange earth pony with a Stetson, that stood above all including me.From what I could guess she was 6'5", but not only that, her body was ripped with muscles. Her biceps looked like they could crush my head, and her legs made the blue jeans she was wearing look like skinny jeans. The red and white plaid t-shirt not only could barely contain her DDD breasts, but didn't even cover chiseled abs. She also had freckles on her face, her blonde mane was in a ponytail, and I saw three apples on the left sleeve of her t-shirt.
Attempting to hide behind the purple alicorn was a crouching yellow pegasus with a pink mane covering her eyes with her hands. This pegasus was much bigger than Rainbow at about 6', and her bust was almost Celestia size at maybe an E. She wore a thick pink turtle-neck sweater, and a green skirt that went down to her ankles, that also had three pink butterflies sown into the fabric.
Last but not least was a bipedal lizard of some sort. He had purple scales, and a green underbelly and fins that went down his back. I'd say he was about 4'5", he wore a purple hoodie and blue jeans. He just looked between me and Daring with an uninterested face, shrugged, and walked to a bar stool. "One hot chocolate and gem covered donut, please Joe."
Joe just blinked a couple of times before chucking, "Coming right up Spike, not even interested in what happened here?"
"I've been on a lot of adventures with the girls," Thumbing to the still shocked group of mares behind him. "that most things like this don't surprise me anymore."
"Ah." Then Joe goes into the back to get Spike's order.
I look between the group and Spike, shrug and sit next to Spike. "Antonio the Human." I say holding out my hand.
He turns to me, eyes me up and down, then shakes my hand, "Spike the Dragon, Hero of the Crystal Empire."
"Dragon huh? I thought you were a lizard of some sort, but then again I haven't even been on this planet more than 24 hours, so what do I know." I shrug.
"And I thought humans left this planet thousands of years ago."
"The humans of this planet did." I explain. "But I'm not from this planet, I'm from a different dimension. The pod that I fell in should have lit up like a firework when I entered the atmosphere."
"Oh, that was you? The girls and I were having a star lit picnic when we saw you light up. When we heard you crash land, we wanted to go see what landed but get up that idea when we found out you landed in the Everfree Forest." Spike said.
"I see, speaking of your friends," I turn to look at the still shocked group with mouths still open. "are they going to be ok?" I ask Spike.
"Yeah they'll be fine, give 'im a couple more seconds, or you can try to say something crazy to snap them out of their stupor." He suggests.
I think for a second, "Well back in my world I was never invited to someone's birthday party before."
"Really?" Spike asks with a face of mild shock.
"Yeah." I confirm.
"Wow, that is crazy."
Then we both hear the sound of gears screeching to a halt. We look around for the source of the sound until we look upon the pink on. She had her head down but her entire body was shaking like a small earthquake.
"OH BUCK!" Spike yells before diving behind the counter.
I didn't even get a chance to ask what was going on before a pink blur slams into me at what felt like Mach 1. I was forced on my back on top of the counter and the pink one looked down on me straight in the eyes while grabbing my shoulders.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY BEFORE?'"
"I just never been invited to one."
"THAT'S CRAZY TALK, WHEN WE GET BACK TO PONYVILLE I'M INVITING YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY." She continues to yell.
"That's very thoughtful of you, thank you, but can you stop screaming in my ears?"
"Oh, right, sorry." She says with a big smile.
As she begins to shift around off of me I look down and see ‘white cloth heaven’. “Huh, white.” I mudder.
The pink one suddenly stops, slowly turns to me with a saucy smile, “If you wanted to see, all you had to do was ask. Here, have a closer look.” She says with a flirty voice.
She scoots up, lifts her skirt up, and begins to smother me with her crotch. The moment I inhaled, it smelled like I was inside of a bakery. I tried to move my head around in order to speak, but that just made her more excited and turned on by how wet she was getting.
“PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!” Screamed a posh voice. “Will you please get off that….um….creature, it’s not proper for a lady to sit like on somepony.”
“Mm a muman.” I say muffled under the pink one now called Pinkamena Diane Pie.
“*Moans* He said he’s a human Rarity, and Antonio?” Looking down at me with her bedroom eyes. “Just call me Pinkie or Pinkie Pie.” Leans in closer to my ear and whispers, “Maybe we can meet up later for so fun.” Before she could continue with her flirting, the orange cowgirl graples Pinkie by the waist and lifts her off of me.
“Down girl, I know that look anywhere. You are not going to try to get in bed with another random stallion this trip again. So when we get to the castle you are bunking with me tonight, so I can keep an eye on you.” The cowgirl says with a Texan twang in her voice.
“But AJ!” Pinkie whines. “I need the real deal, my toys aren’t cutting it anymore.”
“The final answer is no, Pinkie.” AJ says ending the discussion.
Not a second after I sat up from the counter, I came face to face with the purple alicorn. She was looking me up and down while writing down notes, I think. Then she stops, rolls up a parchment and walks over to the counter.
"Spike?"
He finally comes out from his hiding place, "Yes, Twilight?"
"Can you please send this to Princess Celestia." She says handing him the parchment.
"Sure thing." Before blowing green flames on the paper, which then turned into a cloud of sparkles and flew away through an open window.
I hold my mouth open and have my finger up like I was about to ask a question before closing my mouth, then just sighed. "Magic, God damn magic, I don't even want to understand it just yet. I feel my mind will fry if I try to study it." I say to myself.
"Anywho." Getting the attention of everyone in the small diner. "I guess this is not a bad time to introduce ourselves to each other since I have no idea you ladies are," I see a few nods in the group. "I'll go first. My name is Antonio, and I am a human from a different dimension." I get a few gasps and woahs from those who didn't know already. I turn to Yearling/Daring, "Since Rainbow Dash is part of this group, I can safely assume that they know of your other identity."
"*Sigh* Yeah they know who I am."
"Great, that makes things easier for me." Turning back to the group. "How about the purple alicorn goes new."
"Very well, I am Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. I came to Canterlot with my friends and number one assistant, Spike, because around noon I got a scroll from Celestia saying she has somepony she wants me and the girls to meet."
"I'll go next, I'm Spike as you know already. I also make sure that Twilight here doesn't kill herself from her late night study sessions or experiments." Spike says with a smirk, Twilight just rolls her eyes.
"I'll go next but before I start, how do you know about me since you came from a different dimension?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Daring here for one, and Captain Spitfire, who escorted me to Canterlot while I was on my floating garden." I explain.
"Wait, that was you, with the blue flames staff?" Dash said with a surprised face.
"Yup."
"Awesome, I'm Rainbow Dash and I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria and a member of the Wonderbolts." She says with a prideful grin.
"Indeed you are daring, you passing your promotion test with flying colors really proves that." Said the posh white unicorn. "Oh pardon me, where are my manners. I am Rarity Belle, owner and seamstress of the Carousel Boutique where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique. Do come by some time, I would love to see what a human would look good in.
"She also has branched out her business to here in Canterlot and Manehattan, both are run by friends and fellow seamstresses of her's." Said Spike throwing his two cents in.
"Name's Applejack." The cowgirl said, holding out her hand. I take her up on her offer and we shake hands. While we shake, I think she wanted to test my strength because she tightened her grip on my hand. But instead she got the sounds of several bones being crushed.
She immediately let's go, and her eyes were filled with horror. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that! I just wanted to see how strong you were." Applejack said with a shaky voice.
"Ow." I said with a straight face. I pull my hand back, look at it for a moment, then I quickly reformed itself to its original form. Testing my fixed hand with a few flexes, "Much better." I turn to Applejack. "Not harm, no foul." I said holding out my fist.
She was hesitant for a moment, then fist bumps me. "Thanks."
"Woah, that was so cool! Do it again!" Dash said with excitement in her eyes.
"Hehehe, maybe later Dash, and I won't be answering any questions Twilight." I said without turning to her. "Maybe another time."
"Aaaawwww." I hear her say with a poof a second later, I assume it was a notepad of some sort.
"Oo oo oo pick me next." Said Pinkie raising her hand.
"Ok Pinkie you can go next." I said with a chuckle.
"Hehehe, I'm Pinkie Pie and I work at Sugarcube Corner Bakery. I hope we can be great friends in the future Antonio." She said with a big grin, then in a flash she gives me predatory eyes and licks her lips before quickly changing back to 'normal' Pinkie.
"He he he, I look forward to a good friendship too Pinkie." I said, chuckling nervously.
Last but not least was the pegasus with the pink mane, who was now trying to hide behind AJ, and failing to do so 'cause of her big frame.
"So AJ, is the shy one behind you scared of me or something?" I ask pointing.
AJ just sighs and facepalms, "Dang namit girl, stop trying to hide and introduce yourself. Antonio isn't going to bite ya," She turns to me. "right?"
"Only if she's into that kind of stuff, hint hint wink wink." I said chuckling.
Rainbow lost it and was on the ground laughing, and AJ shook her head with a smirk. Everyone else either groaned or massaged their brow, except the shy one, she turned red and fainted in a puff of steam.
"I think I fried her brain with that one, oops. She's going to be ok right?" I ask with a little concern.
"Yeah she'll be fine, sugarcube. I appreciate that you're concerned for Fluttershy here." AJ said as she gave Fluttershy a piggyback ride.
"Ah come on, I just got my donut and shake." Complained Spike.
"Then why don't you take it to go?" I ask.
".....That'll work." Before he chugs his shake and grabs his donut. "Thanks for the food, Joe." Spike said as he catches up with the girls walking out the door.
"No problem, kid." Joe said with a smile.
"And sorry for the scene we caused." I said. "Why don't you keep the coin as a 'I'm sorry' gift."
Joe was flabbergasted, "Wow, um, that's one Tartarus of a gift. Thank you, I appreciate it a lot, it'll make sure that I can stay open even if I'm in the red."
"Happy to help Joe." As I gave him a two-finger salute, and began to walk off to join the rest of the group outside.
"Antonio?"
"Yeah, Yearling?"
"Can I meet up with you tomorrow at the Equestrian National Museum around noonish? I'll be in the lobby waiting."
"Sure, I'll be there."
"And I'm A.K. Yearling in public, so please address me as such whenever we are together." She said with a serious tone.
"Don't worry, I will, you don't need to be so serious about it."
"I have my reasons, but I won't go into details as of right now. Now off with you, go join the 'Mane 6' before they leave without you." Yearling said trying to shoo me away.
"'Mane 6'?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"The Canterlot Times called them that at one point and it stuck. Now go!" Pointing to the door.
"Fine, fine I'm going. Later you two." As I put my hood up before walking outside.
As we walked towards the castle, I began seeing the situation that the stallions of Equestria are in, or at least Canterlot. One that I saw was essentially a pack mule for a mare, and when he dropped a small bag from the dozens he had to hold, he was beaten violently. When the beating stopped, he silently picked up all he dropped and followed the mare, now with a limo. Another I quickly saw in an alley, was being pimped out to another mare for a lump sum. From the glimpse I got, the stallion was wearing some very revealing clothing and looked like he just got out of a brawl. None of this sat right with me at all, did stallions/males have so little rights that getting beaten in public and no one bats an eye at it normal, or was it just here in Equestria? I had to ask.
"Hey Twilight, I have a question."
"And I have an answer." She responds with starry eyes.
"Do stallions here in Equestria have so few rights that getting beaten in broad daylight from a mare, like the one we passed, is a normal part of one's life?"
Her excitement quickly leaves after my question, "Yes, since the stallion birth rate has gone down over the centuries, Celestia saw it necessary to create a law and a few addendums to current laws at the time to try to curb the declining birth rate." She explained in a somber tone.
"By the tone of your voice, I'm guessing that it didn't turn out too well."
"Yes and no, stallions died at a much slower rate but the laws didn't help with the birth of them. It also didn't help stallions when a new political party was created that believed in the complete and absolute domination of all males."
"And Celestia let such a group form?"
"The group formed a little over a century after Princess Luna was sent to the moon, so Celestia was still in a very emotionally vulnerable state."
"Ah, such an event would cloud anyone's mind." Twilight nods. "So this group took advantage of Celestia's plight and went for a power grab, then let me guess, slowly placed bills in front of Celestia that would further their goals, and she signed said bills into law without carefully checking them thanks to her vulnerable mind." Finishing my guess, I turn to Twilight. "So how much did I get right?"
"Most of it actually." She said mildly surprised. "You did pretty well for somepony that hasn't read the history behind it."
"Well, such a situation is very common in both fiction and history from where I come from."
"Why would things like that be that common in your world?" She said a little scared.
"Let me put it this way for you, princess. My world has perfected the art of war and killing each other, the country that I'm from agenda most of the national budget on the military."
Twilight stopped talking after that, from where I was standing she was in deep thought. As we walked, I saw a massive white cathedral with Celestia's cutie mark on top of each pointed roof and in the form of a giant stained glass window. 'Must be where the religion Prince Blueblood was talking about is based. Got to check it out later.' I thought.
As the Mane 6 and myself made our way to the golden entrance of the castle, they were saluted to by the guardmares on duty, all I got were ice-cold glares. I shrugged and moved on with the group as we walked to the throne room. We waited just outside the throne to be announced to the princess, once announced the doors were opened by two guards with their magic. Upon seeing the throne room, I was very impressed. The floor was made of marble with a ceiling easily over 50', the ceiling was 'held up' by pillars and between almost every pillar was a stained glass painting of Twilight and her friends' victories over some sort of obstacle. Spike even got his own stained glass window, he was lifting up a heart made of crystal and the heart looked like it was doing something, what I don't know. At each pillar were tough looking guardmares in heavy armor with a spear and a sword at her side, they must be the elite guards of the military.
The long red rug that we were walking on went all the way up to the two thrones that were at a higher elevation, and four large blazers at the side of the staircase that connected to the throne level. The two thrones themselves were fairly large, but knowing how big Celestia is then it made sense. One was made of a whitish yellow material and had a light gold cushion as part of the backrest. There was also a golden sun connected to the back of the throne, and there was one large white alicorn that was sitting in it. The other throne was dark blue, a dark purple cushion, and crescent moon made of a black metal on the back of the throne. Since it was empty, I can assume that Luna was off doing something else.
Celestia got up from her throne with a smile, and with a 'jump, hop, and skip' she glided down, and landed a few feet in front of the group.
"Twilight and friends, it's so good to see you again." She said with a smile, hugging everyone including Spike, whose head was absorbed in-between Celestia's massive knockers. He struggled for a few seconds, before going limp and accepting his fate.
"The kid is in desperate need of something, Celestia." I said giving her a deadpan look.
"And what would that be, Antonio?" She said turning to me.
"Air." As Spike was tiring a darker shade of purple.
"Oh." She finally let the kid go, dropping him to the floor.
*Gasp* *Cough* *Cough*"Worth." Was all he said when he finally caught his breath.
"Ha, too true." All the mare in the room looked at us a little puzzled. "Guy thing, don't worry about it."
"Moving on, I thought I asked you to join me in Day Court, Antonio. May I ask why you left?" Celestia said looking down to me with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, the nobles in line didn't take too kindly that I was with you when you came back to start Court again. It also didn't help that the female nobles were eyeing me like a slab of meat when I was talking to one Sir Fancy Pants, lovely guy by the by. He even invited me to drink some spirits with him and his wife, he seems fun to be around and the only noble, so far, that I genuinely like." I explain.
"Oh my, you must have met some members of 'Pouvoir des filles', do be wary of them. They tend to forcibly take whatever they buy out right, and unfortunately we have so far been unable to catch them red handed." Celestia saids with a sad sight. "But I'm glad you met Fancy Pants, he's one of the few ponies that are deserving of the noble title, his wife is also in that group, FYI, so you should hit it off with her fairly well." She said trying to end on a cheerful note.
"I hope I do, it's not good if the wife hates you when you're friends with her husband." I chuckle. "On a side note: the political group that wants to place all males under their hoofs is literally called, Girl Power. Is that correct?"
"Oh, you understand Prance?"
I just facepalm, "That has to be one of the worst playground names for a group ever, it also didn't help that they tried to be fancy with it either. That's like when the teacher is taking attendance and you say 'graveyard' instead of your name 'cause you wanted to be cool and edgy."
"When you put it like that, it does sound silly." Celestia said giggling into her hand. "Now, I believe we should rap things up here. Girls and Spike, you are free to roam and enjoy yourselves, I'll send somepony to get you when dinner is ready." She turns to me and claps twice. "Chocolate Cream, would you please come in here."
The large double doors open and in comes a brown colored mare in a maid outfit. She walks up to Celestia and gives her a deep bow, "Yes, Princess?"
"Can you please show Antonio here," Motioning to me. "to one of the ambassador guest rooms." She saids in a motherly tone.
"Of course Princess." She turns to me. "Sir will you please follow me." And motions to follow. I nod, "See you ladies at dinner." I say with a finger bang. Most just rolled their eyes, Spike smirked with a single chuckle. I then proceed to follow Chocolate Cream to my guest room.
Author's Note
Procrastination is a bitch, so I'm going to try to stick to a schedule so I can get the next chapter out a little quicker.
Thanks for the support on this trainwreck of a story.
Dimensional Orbital Drop Psyker
As we walked, I decided to make some small talk with Chocolate Cream.
"So for the past, what, six generations your family has been working in the castle as a maid or butler." I say impressed.
"That is correct, my family takes great pride in being able to serve the princesses in such an important role." She says with pride.
"I can imagine so, someone has to clean the castle and it sure ain't going to be the princesses, they have a country to run." I chuckle.
"Indeed, your room isn't far now."
Making our way up a couple flights of stairs, we came to an 8' tall double door.
"This will be your room for the time being." Cream said pushing open the doors revealing a room that you'd expect from a 5-star hotel suite. I follow her in and she begins to give me a tour. "To your left we have the walk-in closet for any and all clothing that you may buy while you're in Canterlot. In front of you is the custom made bed that can hold several bodies on it at once."
"Why is the bed made like that?" I genuinely ask.
"Some ambassadors from different countries who will stay here for extended periods of time, tend to bring their significant other and a hand full of servants or their harem if they are in one at the time, both usually ending in a hot steamy night." Cream explains with a slight blush.
"Is Princess Celestia trying to imply something about me?" I ask in bewilderment.
"Do you have a harem?" Cream asked, innocently tilting her head to the side.
I just rub my brow in frustration, and try to hide my embarrassment. "No I do not, I'm a 23 year old virgin, why would I have harem? Anyway moving on, can we get back to the tour of the room, please."
"Right, of course, if you come with me I'll show you the bathroom." Gesturing me to follow. First thing I saw walking in was the tub, it was huge, it could easily hold 10 and it had jets. The shower was equally as large, not a little smaller, with shower jets in the walls and what looked like gold in the wall tiles. In the back was a wooden wall with a wooden door, and a thermostat next to the door, a motherfuckin sauna.
"Wow, most of these things one can only dream of getting let alone using one, well, maybe not the sauna." I say as I stand in awe, I then turn to Cream. "That is a sauna, right?"
"It is, this sauna is specially made to reach 5000 degrees." Seeing my face of confused-shock, she explains further. "Dragon Lord Ember and her father, former Dragon Lord, Torch come visit at least once a year."
"Ah, is there anything else I should know about?"
"The bedroom does have a balcony." She says as we walk out of the bathroom. "Other than that, I believe we are done with-"
*Poof*
A sealed scroll Poof's into existence in front of Cream and lands into her open hand. "Ah, a scroll from Princess Celestia."
After a few seconds of reading, the scroll bursts into flames and leaves nothing behind. Snorting into my fist was my first reaction, 'This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds'.
"So anything I should know about, or can know about?" I ask, wondering what just happened.
Cream just walks in front of me and does a deep curtsy. "Master Antonio, from this moment on, I have been made your personal servant. I will be at your beck and' call, and will openly accept any and all things you may do to me." She says all of this without even stuttering.
*Smack*
Palm meets forehead with a loud smack. "God fucking damnit, Celestia really must be trying pull something". I groan out. "Cream?"
"Yes, Master?"
"First things first, don't call me Master, it's unsettling and I don't want or need a personal maid/servant. Second, Celestia put you up to this didn't she. Third, can you lead me to the kitchen, I want some cheesecake and hard alcohol."
Cream nods, gets up, straightens out her maid uniform, and walks over to a desk and comes back with a piece of paper, a pen, and a weird looking candle alite with a sparkly flame. "Before I explain the point of everything I gathered, I want to thank you for not thinking with your dick and accepting me as your personal servant. Yes, Celestia did tell me to do this, but mainly as a judgement of character, or so she says."
"One hell of a way to judge someone." I say unamused.
"I wholeheartedly agree with you, anyway, this candle is connected to the kitchen's service box. Write your order on the paper and which room you are in, Ambassador Guest Room #1, and then have the flame burn the order and it will be sent to the kitchen to be made. You will receive a response note asking for details if not already written, if not needed, then you will receive a confirmation not instead."
So I do just that.
Ambassador Guest Room #1
I told the note and burned it over the flame. I turn to Cream, "Does it normally take awhile to get a response?" I ask.
"Only for large orders."
A moment later in a swirl of sparkles a note appears.
Guest of Ambassador Guest Room #1
I hold the note in my hand just staring at it flabbergasted. "They don't know what a cheesecake is? Well then, that is about to change." I then hastily wrote a response note.
Well they're about to find out, I'm coming down to teach them. Don't bother writing a note back, I won't be in my room.
-Guest in Ambassador Guest Room #1
"Chocolate Cream, could you please show me where the kitchen is?
"Of course," As I follow her out of the room. "but if I may, why are you personally going to the kitchen?"
"The chefs don't know what cheesecake is, so I'm going to teach them and make dessert for tonight's dinner, two birds one stone." I said with a grin.
A couple of minutes later, we arrived at the dinner hall and there was a chef waiting at a double door at the end of the hall.
She noticed me and Cream walking to her, "Are you the guest from Ambassador Guest Room #1?"
"Yup, that's me, name's Antonio."
"Blueberry Tarte, the head chef and the rest are inside waiting for you. Also as a heads up, most of the cooks don't like being told what to do, especially by a stallion." She warns.
"Noted; quick question, are all the cooks in there mares?" I ask.
"Yes, why-" Before she was able to finish that sentence, I kicked open the door to the kitchen startling everyone inside.
"Your attention please, ladies!" Once I got everyone's eyes on me I continued. "My name is Antonio and I am a human. I will be staying in the castle as a guest for an unknown period of time, and I will be attending the dinner tonight. Not that long ago, I made a request for some strawberry cheesecake and apple liquor, and I was told that you, the chefs of Canterlot Castle, do not know what cheesecake is. Blasphemy I say, but tonight that changes, because I will teach you how to make strawberry cheesecake for the dinner tonight. I will also give you the recipe a basic cheesecake so you may experiment with it later. So, what say you?" I ask the group of chefs in front of me.
"I'm interested, I'll help!" Tarte's excited voice coming from my right. "To learn to make an unknown food is a dream come true for me!"
"Hahaha, so I have one volunteer, anyone else?" Turning back to the group.
"I'm interested in if this 'cheesecake' of yours is actually good, so I'll participate as well." Said an aged mare with a heavy prench accent.
"Ah, Head Chef Sharp Spice!" Tarte said with a quick bow. "I hope you're ready ma'am, I would hate for you to fall behind." She said in a joking tone.
"Ha, this old mare is always to learn something new, even if it's from a stallion." Spice said with slight annoyance, but quickly moves past it. "Even so, we still have three hours before we have to get everything ready for dinner. So, what are you waiting for, an invitation?! Start teaching, you sack of organs!" Yelling at me.
"Hahaha, very well, let's begin."
2 hours and 30 minutes later
"Ok ladies, we're almost done. The oven has been preheated to 350?"
"Yup." Tarte said grabbing one of the three cheesecake filled pans.
"Great, put the pans in for about 30 minutes or the internal temperature is 175. Once they're done, take them out to cool for 10 minutes, then put them in a fridge until it's time for dessert." I explain as I clean up myself and my work space.
"Also Head Chef?"
"Yes?" Spice says turning to me after putting the last of the pans in the oven.
"Here." I hand her two pieces of paper. "The recipes for basic cheesecake and no-bake cheesecake, as promised, so go nuts."
"Merci, the kitchen will make great use of these. The girls here tend to experiment with different combinations of foods, if they're not fulfilling orders already. Maybe this will keep them from creating something…. poisonous." She chuckles to herself.
"Haha, well it's been a real pleasure Spice, hope you have a good rest of the afternoon."
"And you as well, Antonio."
Turning to the rest of the cooks, "Ladies, it's been a pleasure working with you, I hope you all have a good rest of the afternoon as well."
I wave good-bye to them and walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room. I see Cream waiting behind one of the chairs at the far end of one of those long dining tables.
"I'm guessing that is where I sit for dinner?" I ask as I walk over to her.
"That is correct." She answers, pulling the chair out for me.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, the princesses and the Elements will be here soon to join you. Is there anything I get you while you wait?" Cream asks with a smile.
"Not at the moment, thank you tho."
"Of course." Giving me a small bow before entering the kitchen.
"*Sigh*, now what to do for the next couple of minutes." I say to no-one in particular.
*Old Spice Jingle plays*
"Heh, his timing is impeccable." I chuckle before pulling out my phone.
Dear Loyal Customer, It has donned upon me that I have forgotten to mention some important details upon your initial arrival. You are not alone, so to speak, you are a Displaced and there are others like you. As a Displaced, you can send a token out into the multiverse of MLP for another Displaced to pick up and use to summon you to their dimension temporarily, or the other way around; for what purposes, I do not know, that is up to the summoner. Note: you can leave at any time if you choose too. A token can be anything, all you have to do is focus a little energy into said object, say a couple lines explaining you are and your intentions, and then release said object and it should be sent to travel the multiverse after that. For any questions please reply.
Can I still buy things from you? I reply.
Yes, there should be a new app on your phone called Merchant's Market, the shop should have any and all items you may need. You can use just about any form of currency to pay for items, just take said currency and drop it on the screen of your phone and the app system should accept it, because magic, so don't bother asking. Any more questions?
Not at the moment, thanks for letting me know about these things.
Not a problem, I look forward to your future purchases. With that our conversation ended.
"Heh, I can practically hear him through my phone." Remembering back to the days of playing with the Wii chainsaw controller. "Now let's find something I can use as a token that goes well with who I am." I mumble to myself.
I found the Merchant's Market app and launched it, took a minute or two looking for my position in the multiverse. Once that was done and was brought to the front page, a pop-up appeared showing that Frostmourne was 75% off. "Ouch, that must sting Frost's pride quite a bit." Wincing at the price cut. Closing the pop-up, I began my search starting with 40k Imperial clothing accessories.
"Now let's see what we got, an Inquisition necklace, nah, I'm not an asshole nor am I that cool. A rosary of the Imperial Cult, nope, I'm more along the lines of the Imperial Truth. Hmmm, a necklace of the Imperial Aquila, yeah that'll work." Selecting the item, a check-out or continue shopping option appeared. Pressing check-out, another pop-up appeared.
Please select or insert payment type
So I took a single A.H(Ancient Human) coin, and placed it on the screen of my phone. As the Merchant said, the app system absorbed and processed the coin.
Currency accepted
Locating local currency...
Currency located, turning current funds into Bits
Completed…Current Funds: 10527 Bits
Do you want to checkout?
Yes/No
Checking out...Completed
Current Funds: 10512 Bits
Your purchase is now being sent to you
Thank you for your patronage
*Pop* *Thud*
I looked up from my phone and saw my new necklace in front of me, the Imperial Aquila was silver with small black outlines allowing the Aquila's details to pop out. It was about 4in wide and 3in length wise. Satisfied with my purchase, I began to focus my energy into the necklace. After a couple of seconds of focusing the necklace began to float and glow. 'Looks like it's time.' I thought.
"Hear me, I am a psyker and I am willing to lend my powers to those who request it, but I will make the final judgement on whether you are worthy. To summon me you must hold the necklace out and say, 'I request assistance from a psyker!' and I will answer. May we meet soon."
Once I completed my little monologue, the necklace was encased in a translucent ball of light blue energy. I released my energy all together and nothing happened to the ball. "So, what now?" Slightly confused about what to do next. I curiously pressed down on the ball and it felt like I was pushing against a spring, so I pushed the ball down further and let go. It sprung up and zipped into nothingness, "Huh, so that happened."
*Pop* *Thud*
The Aquila necklace reappeared in front of me with a slight glow before fading away. Picking it up, I put around my neck where it belongs, 'Damn I look good.' I smirk. 'Well, since that's all done now I just need to wait for the others.' I put my earbuds in and connected it to my phone, and went through my library of music; closing my eyes I began to listen the time away.
https://youtu.be/0LS0Z8fgiII
Unknown amount of time later
"WAKE UP ANTY!!"
Shocking me awake from the sudden wake up call, I kneed my knee into the underside of the table, when I went to instinctively grab it I slammed my forehead into the table, then jerked myself back too much to the point my chair tipped over.
"Ow." I said in a monotone voice while blankly staring at the ceiling.
Getting up and setting my chair upright, I look around since all eyes are on me.
"What? I'm fine," I turn to see who woke me up, no one's surprise it was Pinkie. She was in a state of shock and her hair was a darker pink and completely straight. "just don't do that again, ok?"
No response from Pinky.
"Great, unresponsive." I thought for a moment before it came to me, "Hug?" Hold my arms out. Didn't even take a second before I was tackled by Pinkie, her slowly began to inflate itself, somehow.
"Better?" I ask.
"Yeah, thanks Anty." She replies from smothering her face into my chest.
"I'm happy that you're ok Antonio, and Pinkie is back to her normal self, but I'm hungry and I think everypony here can agree." Celestia chimes in.
"Damn right I am, we weren't able to get any food from Joe's. Well, everypony but Spike, he got his bejeweled donut." Complained Rainbow.
"While I don't condone Rainbow's language, I do have to agree that food sounds marvelous right now." Said Rarity. Nods were seen around the table.
"Then it's settled, once everypony is seated the appetizers can be served."
Dinner went by smoothly, most conversations at the table were between the Mane 6 and the princesses. Until Celestia decided to shift her attention to me.
"So Antonio, I've been meaning to ask earlier, why were you here before me and my sister?" She asked while sipping on her red wine.
"I asked for a certain dessert from the kitchen, they didn't know what it was, like at all. So I decided to change that, and made more than enough for everyone here to have seconds."
"GGGAAASSPPP!!! A DESSERT THAT THE ROYAL COOKS DON'T KNOW?! IMPOSSIBLE!!" Pinkie yelled, looking like Edvard Munch's The Scream.
"Pinkamena, could you please use your inside voice?" Celestia said with a raised eyebrow. "Hehe, sorry." Turning back to me, "But I do have to agree with her, a dessert that my chefs don't know, I didn't think it was possible."
"Agreed sister, I too am shocked, even more so since you had most of the chefs learn every cake recipe on Equis." Luna casually says as if it was a common thing.
I slowly turn to Celestia with a questioning look then to Luna, "So your sister has a cake fetish?" I ask.
"That is one way of putting it." As she sips her tea.
"LUNA! Don't say that, it's really rude to say that about me." Celestia responds with light pink cheeks, and a slap to Luna's shoulder. "Besides, it's not a fetish, it's an addiction." In a 'matter of fact' tone.
"That doesn't help your case, Celestia." I deadpane.
"I know, I just wanted to set the record straight.
"*Sight*, whatever floats your boat. Cream?"
"Yes?" Appearing to my right.
"I believe it's time for dessert. Does everyone here agree?" I say looking around the table seeing several nods.
"Yeppers, I can't wait to try your mystery dessert!" Pinkie yells with excitement.
"Hah, you heard the lady Cream."
"Indeed, I'll let the chefs know." Bows and walks off toward the kitchen.
Once Cream left the room, Celestia turned to me with a shit-eating-all-knowing-smirk, "I see you and Cream got closer, did you have fun with her will she was in your room?"
"PPPPPPPPPPHHHHHH!" Twilight and Rarity spin-take at the same time, and everyone else except Luna, who was trying not to lose it, had to process Celestia's comment. They then all turned to the princess in question in utter shock. I don't think any of the Mane 6 was expecting it, especially Twilight, who was at one point Celestia's protogé, if I overheard the dinner conversations correctly. Rarity on the other hand, I think she just wasn't expecting a member of royalty to say such a thing.
Silence permeated the air until I broke it, "First of all, we both agreed to say no to that order you gave her. Second, I don't think with my dick, thank you very much." Rainbow and Pinkie couldn't help but snort and giggle. "Lastly, I ain't playing your games Celestia, what you did was uncalled for and above all, unnecessary. I personally believe that a quick lay, like the one you tried to give me on a silver platter, are extremely emotionally unfulfilling. Therefore I play the long game, I want a relationship that I can feel proud of, and what you did gave me none of that. So stay out of my sex life, Celestia, even if it's non-existent."
"*Whistles* Wow, didn't see that coming, but I still won our bet, sister. So pay up in full." Luna said hold out her hand. Celestia groans, poofs in three bars of gold and hands then to Luna.
"Did you two seriously bet on what I would do to Cream after Celestia sent that letter?" While I double facepalm, Pinkie puts a hand on my shoulder. "Thanks Pinkie." She nods.
"For the record, she bet that you would fuck Cream into bed frame." Luna pointed to her sister.
I get up from my chair, "Ok, I'm out, I'm going back to my room." I turn to the Mane 6 and Spike. "Spike, I hope and your friends enjoy the cake that I made." Turning to the two sisters. "And I hope you two choke on it." All while saying this with a smile.
I left the dining room without saying another word, all the while I could hear Twilight call to me. After making a go distance from the room, I heard the sound of hooves running on hard carpet. I turn to see Cream trying to catch-up with me, I also notice that she is holding a glass bottle of an amber liquid.
"Antonio, please hold a moment!" Once she reached me, she was breathing heavily and trying to catch her breath. "Here," She finally said. "Maybe this liquor will help calm you down." Holding out the glass bottle.
"Heh, thanks Cream." Taking the bottle, I decide to take a swig of its contents. The burning sensation was immediate, but gave way to a smooth taste of apple and blueberry, and with a slight sour twang at the end that I couldn't place. "Mmmm, that's pretty good, what's the proof?"
"It's a special blend from one of the only Minotaur cities on Equis and made by the Church of the Horned Sisters, they call it Amber Horn's Call with a proof of 132."
"Damn, that's pretty high even by human standards. Thanks again for the drink, Cream; I'm going to head back to my room now so I can drink the night away." I smile at her.
"Of course, I hope you feel better tomorrow after a good night's sleep, and that you can forgive Princess Celestia and Princess Luna after tonight." Cream said with a bow.
"Maybe, Cream, maybe."
I turn and continue my walk towards my room while drinking. Once there, I close the door behind me and slowly slide down it until I hit the floor. I take another swig, "This sucks, the drink is great and top notch quality, but it seems I can't get drunk 'cause of my healing factor. Who would've guessed, not me apparently." I ramble to myself. "Now what? Nothing about this place sits right with me, at least some of the residents here are nice….so far. Nevertheless, I need to get out of here. I don't belong here, and I certainly don't like being treated like a slab of meat."
Sitting against the door, I continue my attempt at sorting through all the events that have happened so far. After some time, I noticed that the sun was setting. So I got up, grabbed the chair from the desk and brought it to the balcony. There I watched the sun set and the moon raise, all the while, I was drinking my liquor. Once the moon stopped moving, I heard some heavy knocks at my door.
"THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED!"
I hear the door opening, but then nothing else. I turned to the door to see what's up, the door was open but no one was there.
"Huh, weird." I get up from the chair and walk to the open door. Poking my head, I only see an empty hallway. "Ok, this is starting to feel like the beginning of some horror flick." I shake my head and close the door, walking back to my chair I take another swig of my drink. The moment I sit back down, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I could feel the presence of two beings behind me; I don't know how I can feel this but I'm going to assume that it's because of my psyker powers.
I release a tired sigh before turning to face these two. Their armor looked like it was made for a level 20 assassin rogue from DnD, and both looked the exact same. The armor was a mixture of black cloth, silver chainmail, and a dark purple metal chest plate and shoulder guards. This combination I assume is meant for flexibility and agility, and what nails that point home is that these two have bat wings. They both wore hoods that concealed their faces, but left and opening for their ears that were constantly moving. Luna's cutie mark was on both their chest plate and shoulder guards. 'Mmmm, must be the 'guards' Luna was talking about.' I thought.
"So," Getting up puts them around my chin. "you two are supposed to be Luna's eyes and ears?" The one my right nods. "You two aren't going to introduce yourselfs?" The left one shakes its head. "Well then….now what?" They both answer by slowly melting into their shadows. "That's pretty cool and unsettling at the same time."
I just stand there for a second before returning to the balcony, there I look at the night sky memorized in its splendor. I think back to what has happened to me in under 24 hours and how much my life has changed, and how much I feel out of place in a peaceful land. I soon hear a very specific guitar rift playing all around me, and I feel compelled to sing the song that goes with the rift.
https://youtu.be/EYspF1qHhEI
Once the song ended, I was at the foot of my bed, so I decided it was time I just went to sleep. So I took off everything except my pants and put it in my ring inventory. I then did what anyone would do who is still a child at heart; run into a swan dive and land on the massive mattress. 'At least the bed is really soft. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.' I think before closing my eyes.
1 Hour Later
I sat up with a deadpan look on my face, 'Well this didn't go as planned.' I internally groan. "Maybe this is a side effect of having an absolute immortal body, not having a need to sleep, or anything really."
*Sigh* "Maybe I can meditate the night away or something." I get off the bed and move to the middle of the bedroom and sit criss cross. I attempt to assume a meditative position, close my eyes, and try to relax. Letting all my emotions flow out of me like a stream caused everything to go dreadfully silent after a few minutes of meditating. Opening my eyes, I was floating in an empty void. "Huh, so what now?" I mutter to myself. All of a sudden, steeks of colors were moving past me and the sound of rushing wind could be heard. "Great, me and my big mouth." As quickly as it came, everything stopped and I was above a very large map of Equis. "Hmmm, I've read enough books and seen plenty of movies to know that in an event like this, I wouldn't be here without some sort of reason." On queue, four symbols appeared over four different locations on Equis. "God fucking damnit." I goan out as I immediately recognize who those symbols are connected to, the four Chaos Gods of the Warp. The symbol of Slaanesh was over Canterlot, Tzeentch's symbol was over a city in the mountains that was bordering Equestria, Khorne has his symbol of a massive city that was in the middle of a grassy plain, and Nurgle's symbol was across an ocean and above another city that was in what looked like a savannah. "Well, if Demise appeared on this planet at one time then I shouldn't be surprised that the rest of the Chaos Gods would be able to spread their influence here. But still, god damnit, this is going to one hell of a rollercoaster I'm getting on."
I try to study the map a little more but scenery changes around me one more. Before I even got to see anything, the strong stench of decay, blood, and inereds hit me in the face forcing my body to relieve itself of dinner.
"*Cough* *cough* Welp, there goes dinner." I mumble as I try to spit byil out of my mouth. "Where, the fuck, can I be to be able to produce such a smell?"
On queue once more, the void around me suddenly shifts and changes to a massive active battlefield and I am placed on a cliff to observe it. In the middle of this battlefield were four giant creatures all fighting each other for an edge against the other. I couldn't tell what those creatures were, so I tried to pour a little bit of my psyker energy into my eyes to see farther.
It stings a bit, but it worked and I got a clear picture of the battlefield and those four creatures; let's just say things went from bad to worse very quickly. It was a four way battle between the daemons of the Chaos Gods, and leading each army was a greater daemon. (For those who don't know, a greater daemon is the purest representation of everything chaos, and is created in the image of their god. They are the guardians of their God's realm and the executors of his will.) A Bloodthirster of Khorne, a Lord of Change of Tzeentch, a Keeper of Secrets of Slaanesh, and a Great Unclean One of Nurgle. Them fighting each other was a sight to behold and a sight of pure carnage; me witnessing their fighting showed me how much bigger the other fish in this pond truly are.
As the fighting continued after a minute or so, one of the heads of the Lord of Change turned its head and made, what felt like, direct eye contact with me.
"Did it just see me?" I ask myself, feeling pretty sure it didn't.
It lets out an ear piercing screech, raises it's hand, and an incantation circle appears in front of it.
"Aaaahhhh, piss." I groan, then in a blink of an eye, my body expands like a balloon and explodes in a red mist and internal organs. 'I would scream right now if I had a pair of lungs.' I thought. As my head sailed through the air, the high pitch scream of a woman blasted in my ears, and then the world around me cracked then shattered. My head was then quickly pulled back into the void I started in; once I stopped moving, I could feel my body begin to form itself. "Well, this was a very eventful and informative experience." I comment while flexing my new formed body. I then began to hear barely audible whispering that was slowing increasing in volume, while this was happening the void was getting brighter until it was a blinding light and I had to close my eyes.
Upon opening my eyes, I was on my bed and face down in it. I hear a bunch of voices outside of my room, so I try to get up to see what is going on. I then realized that I can't feel anything below my neck. 'Wait….' I then began to piece everything together. 'Holy shit, I just had an out-of-body experience! When my soul went 'pop', in what I can assume is the warp, translated to my body in the materium to go 'pop' as well. Then that must mean some of my room is painted in a shade of red right now, and that scream I heard must have been a maid that came in.'
Before I was able to figure out what steps I should take next, the door to my room opened. I heard several hoofsteps enter, the door closing, and the sound of more movement. I tried to look out of the corner of my eye to see what was going on, but the covers of the bed blocked most of my view.
"Dear Faust, sister, what could have done this?"
"I have no idea Luna, there are a handful of blood magic spells that would lead to this result, but both of us and our elite guard would have detected its use. So that theory is the window."
'Well color me surprised, those two actually sound like they care, maybe I'll give them a chance, maybe.'
"Now how did no-pony notice Antonio's explosive death?" Celestia asks. "Didn't you assign two of your elite Night Guard to keep an eye on him, why didn't they hear or see anything?"
"I did assign two of my elite thestrals to him and they go to see him last night, but only as a 'judgement of character', as they called it."
'That was a judgement of character? It was skin deep at least.' Putting my two cents in.
"Also sister, these walls are enchanted with a noise-canceling spell. So even if Antonio made a sound upon his death, the guards outside his door wouldn't have heard it." Luna explains.
"Guh, great, there's an unknown killer on the loose, an unknown cause of death, and the last and only human on this planet is now dead. And to top it all off, his last moments with us were us betting on whether he would have sex with Chocolate Cream. We really shouldn't have done that, Luna." Celestia said, sounding depressed.
"I agree, sister, I wholeheartedly agree." Luna sounded equally depressed.
After a moment of silence, I heard the sound of hoofsteps coming closer to my head. A pair of soft hands then carefully picked me up, turned me around, and I was now face-to-face with Luna. Her face was downcast and looked as if she losted something very dear to her.
"Luna." Celestia called out.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to step outside for a moment to see if I can calm Cream down some more."
"That indeed seems like a good idea, sister, she looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown." Luna said worryingly.
"Captain Crystal Clear." Celestia said in a firm tone.
"Yes, princess?" Clear said awaiting orders.
"Take some guard and close off this section of the tower, and make sure that what happened here does not leak out. If a leak does appear, I want to be the first to know and the leak to be closed up quickly. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal, princess, it will be done." The sound of the door opening and hoofsteps followed.
Once the door closed, Luna sighed and turned her attention back to me. "Where did it all go wrong? Was it an organization with a motive or something else?" Luna rambled to herself. "What do you think, Antonio?" Turning to me with a hopeful look as if I had all the answers.
I gave her my best 'Are you fucking serious?' look.
"I know, I know, I shouldn't seek answers by asking a decapi-" Luna abruptly stops talking and whips her head back at me. "Did you just move?" She asked in a dumbfounded tone.
I smile at her, confirming her suspicion.
".............EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!" She screams at the top of her voice and proceeds to launch me across the room into a wall.
'Here we go again.' I groan.
*SPLAT!*
Author's Note
Writer's block is a bitch, but I'm glad I got through it and completed this chapter.
I'm currently debating on whether to get a picture commissioned to replace the story cover. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
I thank you all again for reading this story, I appreciate every single one of you.
Dimensional Orbital Drop Psyker
Things just got complicated
Author's Note
I'm sorry for the long wait, for the past two months I've been pulling a 5am-9pm shift at my work. So I've been able to write in short bursts, but now I should be able to get back into the swing of things. I'm thankful for all of you who read this and those who give their support.
I'm also looking for an editor, any suggestions are appreciated.
Things just got complicated
'Well fuck, my head's all over the wall now and I'm bad in the void, or is it the warp? Nah, the warp would have the screams of the Damned and daemons would probably have sensed my soul by now, so void it is. Now let's see if I can sense the outside world through my powers, let's try to replicate what Tof does in ATLAB.' I plan out
I close my eyes and focus on using my energy as a sonar and I'm at the center. The first ping reached all the way to Ponyville, so I tightened the spread of the ping to only be as large as the room. However, this accident may have been a blessing in disguise, for a brief moment I saw a massive underground network of tunnels and rooms connecting to Celestia's church and several large mansions. 'Hmmm, something I have to look into later.'
As I began to ping at a faster pace, I could see/sense a clearer of events happening in my room. It seems like Celestia is trying to figure out what had happened to Luna after she screamed and through my head. Right now they're just arguing, Celestia seems to not believe her own sister and Luna is getting annoyed at her.
'Well this is going no-where.' I groan. 'Sisters will be sister's I guess.'
I turn my focus away from the squabbling sisters, and now to trying to regenerate my body back. Through the pings I sent out, I noticed that the pool of blood I left behind was giving off a minut amount of energy. I float over to and encircle it a few times examining it. I move under the pool and a theory comes to mind, 'Hmmm, I wonder….'. I extend my hand to touch it, but it instead passes through it and a rush of senses come to my hand. 'It looks like I found my way out.' Passing the rest of my arm through, I began to pull the rest of me out of the pool. Once I was fully regenerated, I looked over my body for anything off, and I found two things. My body was more chiseled than previously, I have an eight pack now and look a little more defined. Also, last time I checked I didn't have an eight inch dick. The only way something like this happened is if my body is destroyed and I'm in the void, I can modify any aspect of my body, and it seems like my subconscious decided to make some changes.
Once out of the pool, I was covered in my own blood but I had a body again. I looked around to see almost the entire bedroom was covered in my blood, organs, and body parts. I spot my left hand all the way over by the balcony door, I walk over to it and retrieve my storage ring from it. After putting it back on, I felt like I was forgetting something. 'Right, the princesses.' Realizing that they're still in the room. I slowly turn around hoping that they're not too shocked about me coming back from the dead, so to speak. Instead, they're just standing there, still in the middle of their argument but as if someone pressed the pause button on the remote. I walk over to them and snap my fingers in front of their faces a couple of times to confirm my theory.
"As I thought, someone or something stopped time." I said to no one. "But the real question is 'why'."
"'Why not', is the answer you're looking for." Said a mature male voice with a hint of whimsy.
I turned to where the voice came from, and came face-to-face with a chimera-like noodle dragon.
I silently look at it, and it jokily covers it's private bits as if they were exposed. After a moment of more silence, I spoke in a questioning/joking tone, "Did God give the responsibility of making you to a five year old, or did he throw darts at a board of animal parts blind?"
The creature stared at me for a second before bursting out in laughter, "PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He continued to laugh himself to bits, literally, for about a minute. Once he was done he pulled himself together, "Hah, haven't had a laugh like that in a long time." He then, in a poof, whips out a very large magnifying glass and begins to examine me while a clone is scribbling down notes. "But it has been much long since I last saw a living human, I thought the last of you went off into the stars?"
I raise an eyebrow at his antics, but shrug it off, "And you would be correct about that for this planet's human, but I'm from a different dimension, so different human." I explain.
"That would do it, cause the last I checked, the humans I knew didn't have the power that you're wielding." He says while he poofs a geiger counter in existence, holds it up to me and it bursts into flames. He looks at it, then me, then the counter, "That normally doesn't happen." Snapping his fing-paw, snapping his paw, a mini him appears with a bucket of water and proceeds to dump it on the flaming geiger counter, poofing away since its job is done.
"You seem to have forgotten something important." I say while bringing up a chair to sit in.
"Oh, and what would that be?" Still looking confused at the geiger counter.
"You have a name?"
The sound of tires screeching is heard, he looks up to me, blinks, and then smacks his forehead. "Of course I forget to introduce myself." He groans. Snapping his talon the room goes dark, then a stage light appears on the creature, who is now in a dress shirt, vest, tailcoat, and top hat. "I AM THE SPIRIT OF CHAOS, THE BEST FRIEND OF THE ELEMENT OF KINDNESS, and friends to the rest of the elements, but that's neither here nor there." *Clears throat*I....AM…. DISCORD!!" A few fireworks and sparklers go off behind him for a bigger reveal. He has his arm wide out seeming to wait for something.
"Oh." Realizing what he wanted, I began to clap at a quick pace.
"Thank you, thank you, you've all been a lovely crowd." Discord says as he bows and roses are thrown at his feet.
"So you're the spirit of chaos for this world, correct?" I ask slightly confused.
"Correct." He says proudly with his chest out.
"I honestly thought you were the spirit of stand-up."
The sound of glass shattering is heard as Discord has a spider web of cracks appear all over him before falling to pieces. He slowly pieces himself back together, curls up into the fetal position and has a rain cloud over his head. Discord turns to me with a sad face, "You don't think I'm evil?"
"Not even in the slightest, you're chaotic neutral at best. Also, the Oscar goes to someone else."
"Damnit!" Discord cleans himself up with a snap of his fingers and proves everything that just happened was an act. "I was sure I had you." He said a little frustrated.
I walk over to him and slap him on the shoulder, "Ha, don't get me wrong, you're a great actor and that stunt would have fooled anyone else, but I was part of my middle and high school drama club. Name's Antonio by the way." Holding out my hand.
Discord smiles and shakes my hand, "Never thought I'd shake hands with a nudist."
I look down, "Fuck, I forgot I was naked. Oh well, at least the only company here is frozen."
He gives me a Cheshire grin and holds his fingers together like he's going to snap.
My eyes go wide, "You wouldn't fucking dare."
"I would dare." Snapping and disappearing with a 'poof'.
"God damnit." I groan as I hear Celestia and Luna begin to continue their argument.
"-And so I ask dear sister, how is this my fault?!" Luna yelled at Celestia.
"If you kept those two bat ponies on watch through the night then this wouldn't have happened!" Celestia yelled back with a pointed finger.
"*Gasp* How dare you call them bat ponies! You know very well that's a put down for all thestrals!"
I just shake my head in disappointment, so I turn the chair I used with Discord around, and sit down to watch the show play out. I looked through my ring's inventory to see if there was any beer, and there was. So I cracked one open and drank while I watched. The sound of me opening a beer caused the princesses to put their argument on hold, and turn to where the sound came from. The moment they later their eyes on me many things happened at once; both of their faces contorted to a mixture of shock, confusion, and embarrassment, their wings twitched several times, and both of their manes stopped all movement for some reason.
Celestia steps forward, still trying to process how I'm still alive, "Antonio?"
"Yes?" I say as I gulp down my beer.
"How are you still alive?"
"Discord and I-" I began.
"Of course he's involved in this." Luna groans into her hands.
"We wanted to play a prank on the first pony who came through the door, as you can see, it didn't go too well."
"Discord and pranks flow together naturally, but not one of his pranks has ever gone this far." Celestia points out.
"Ah yes, I did that, Discord presented the idea and I unnecessarily took it to the extreme."
"But….the blood, the organs, the body parts-"
"Don't forget the moving head, sister." Luna adds.
"Of course that too, how did you make it all so realistic?" I feel Celestia staring holes into me.
"I have my ways." I say trying to be vague.
Celestia wasn't amused, "Care to go into detail?"
"Nope, so I won't be telling you."
"....What?"
"What?"
Luna decides to step in at this point, "Please stop trying to dodge the question."
"Nope." I say with a smug grin.
"*Facepalm* Is Discord rubbing off on you?" Luna just wants to be done with this.
"Probably."
"Right." Luna groans. "Also, why are naked?" As her eyes shift downward.
"I would say eyes up here, but I really don't care. To answer your question, I lost a round of strip poker with Discord."
Luna now looks really confused, "When did you two have time for that?!"
"He froze it."
"I'm done, I've had enough for today, I'm going back to bed." Throwing her arms up, and she begins to walk towards the door. "Also, Antonio?"
"Yeah?"
"Find Chocolate Cream and apologize to her, she's on the edge of having a mental breakdown."
"Way ahead of you Luna, I have a backup plan for such an occasion." I summon a blue fireball and throw it at the floor. It spreads quickly and in seconds covers the bedroom in flame. As quickly as it appears, it goes out and reveals a spotless room.
"Impressive." Luna nods in approval.
"Thanks, I prefer to clean up messes I make."
I snap my fingers and get covered head to toe in flames. Once they disappear, I'm cleaned of blood and now in clothes. I'm wearing a dark blue dress shirt and pants, a black vest and shoes, and to top it all off, a black bowtie. Why? Because bowties are cool.
"How do I look?" Turning to Luna.
"Not bad, I like the colors."
"Of course you do, Princess of the Night." I say in a joking tone. Luna just rolls her eyes.
Look over to Celestia who's still zoning out, "Is she going to be ok?"
"Yeah she will, let me snap her out of her stupor."
"No no no, let me." I say with a devious grin.
Luna smirks, "By all means then."
Walking over to Celestia I could hear her mumbling about something. I then step into an open palm swing and slap her ass, and let me tell you, for the split second my hand was in contact with her ass, it was like I was touching heaven.
"OOOOOOWWWWW!" Celestia cries, grabbing the spot of contact. She turned to me and I could see tears were forming in her eyes.
"Was that really necessary?" She asks me.
"Very." Luna says in-between her giggle fits.
I look Celestia dead in the eye with a straight face, "Indubitably."
Celestia wasn't amused, "I hate you both."
After asking some solar guards where Cream was last seen, I headed to the castle employee food court. Once there, most of the tables were empty but the table that stuck out was in the far corner of the court and had a handful of mares hugging another one with her head down.
"Let's try that one." As I walk over to it.
When I got there I caught the tail end of their conversation.
"....and I'm telling you Cream for the 5th time, what happened to the hooman was not your fault." Said another maid that was on Cream's right side hugging her.
"But….I f-felt like there….s-something more to him.'' Cream said in-between sobs. "L-like there was something about….him that drew me too him."
A guardsmare at Cream's table looks up and notices me, then goes back to her food. She then freezes mid-bite and does a double take of me with wide eyes. So as the other table members notice this and look in the direction that the guardsmare is looking, slowly the whole is looking at me in disbelief. Since none of the mares at the table were pointing Cream my way, I decided to take the initiative and walked up behind her.
"Hello Cream." I say in a calm tone.
She freezes and slowly turns to look up to me with a face of shock and confusion. She honestly looks like crap, her nose is running and her eyes are really red from all that crying. God I feel like shit.
"But-but-but….the blood, the body parts…." She began but I interrupted.
"Was all of a prank that Discord and I planned, but I took it too far." I explain.
The rest of the table groans at the mention of his name.
"So once I finished cleaning my mess, I started to look for you to apologize to you and try to make it up to you." I said looking into her eyes. "Cream, I'm sorry you accidentally got involved in my gruesome prank, I was hoping for a guard or one of the princesses. But looking back now, I can see that me taking the prank to the extreme was unnecessary. Once again I'm sorry you got involved, so how can I make it up to you?" I ask.
Cream cleans herself up with several napkins, calms herself down, then gestures for her to come closer. Doing so, I receive a solid slap across the face. "Now I forgive you, Antonio." Shaking her striking hand.
I massaged where I got slapped, "Well I deserved that."
"And this is for almost giving my best friend a mental breakdown."
Before I was able to turn to the voice, I felt a fist hit me in the left side of my jaw.
*CRACK*
'Yeesh, these ponies can pack one hell of a punch.' I thought as I went flying through the air. I eventually landed….on top of another group's table and food stomach first.
*CRASH*
"EEEKKK!!"
"OH MY CELESTIA!*
The first thing I notice when I begin to push myself off the table is that the left side of my jaw is bleeding profusely and is completely destroyed. The jaw itself is barely hanging by skin and muscle, my tongue is limply exposed, and several of my teeth are scattered across the table.
Standing up, I dust off some of the food that was stuck to my clothes. I then notice that the entire cafeteria is dead silent, looking up I see that everyone is looking at me in shock and horror. It didn't take long before some ponies had to relieve themselves of their food. I turned around to Cream's table and the one who punched me was a Day Guard earth pony.
'Makes sense, seeing that I flew a good 20ft.'
I held what was left of my jaw closed and let the weird sensation that was regeneration heal my injury; as a cover, I covered the healing process with my flames to chalk it up to some sort of extremely complex healing spell, or some shit like that. Walking toward my launch zone, the one who punched me was now in a state of terror of what she had done. As I got closer to her, she began to shake like a rabbit in front of a predator. Even when I was right in front she wouldn't stop shaking, and couldn't look me in the eyes.
"Hey." Calling to her.
"EEP!" She jumped back a little in surprise and worry. At her tallest she was easily 6' 7" and had muscles that could crush my head with, and yet she showed that she was scared of merely 44
"So, how can I make up to you?"
"I….I wanted to go on a date." Cream said as if she was just going through the motions of a conversation, she was more focused on her friend that punched me.
"Great, I'll pick you up at 7pm tomorrow."
"Oh, ok" She said softly before walking over to her friend and began counseling her.
I nod with confidence and turn Cream's table, "Well it's been a pleasure meeting you all, even you," turning to the guard "I wish you all a great rest of your day." The moment I walked out of the cafeteria it erupted into shouting and the sound of fast moving hooves.
After asking a nearby guard the time and directions to the Equestrian National Museum, I quickly made my way to the castle entrance since it was an hour til noon and I didn't want to be late for my meet up with Daring.
As I left the castle, I felt the presence of the same two guards from last night right behind me. Without breaking stride, I quickly looked behind me to find there was no one there. So I assumed that they were in my shadow or something like that, since they appeared to me coming out of my shadow.
"Hm, glad to have you two back." I said acknowledging their presence. "Today we are going on a field trip to the Equestrian National Museum to meet up with my friend, A. K. Yearling. You two are going to be able to witness the 'discovery' of a unique artifact and a bit of said artifact will be explained." I got no response from the two but I'm sure they heard me.
Walking down the street I got a lot of brow raises and faces of disgust, mostly disgust. Some of the nobles from the peanut gallery kept having hushed conversations involving the words 'monkey', 'unclean', and 'monstrosity'. One stuck up mare even tried to flag down a guard saying that an exotic animal escaped the zoo, the two that came to this mare's aid took one look at me and then told the bitch of a mare and I quote: "By order of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, we the Royal Guard of Day and Night, are forbidden to engage the human known as Antonio in anyway other than simple conversation." They then wished the mare a good rest of her day, gave a nod to me, and walked off to whatever they were doing previously. I got a good laugh out of it and walked off leaving the annoyance behind.
When I got to the museum I didn't see Daring anywhere outside, so I went into the lobby to see if she was there. Spoiler: she wasn't there, but the lobby of the Equestrian National Museum looked very similar to the Museum of Natural History from New York. As I waited for her, I decided to read one of the museum pamphlets on their current exhibits, it would seem some old relics from the Age of Discord are on display.
It didn't take long before I was approached by several scientists and historians from the museum.
"Excuse me-" One scientist began before I interrupted with a raised hand.
"Before I answer anything you ladies have for me, let me make some things clear so there isn't any confusion. Yes I am a human, no I am not from this world, so I would have no more knowledge of this world's human than you do." I explain.
"Oh come on!" One of the scientists shouted.
"Celestia damnit." Another groaned.
"However…." This perked the group's ears up.
"I am currently in the possession of an artifact that can easily be dated back to the time humans were walking this land. I can't show it to you all just yet, I'm currently waiting for a friend to arrive.
In the corner of my eye, I see a certain pegasus in her so called 'disguise'. "And here she is now." Gesturing to Daring.
The group turns to her and a few gasps as she approaches, then start whispering to each other.
"Yearling!" Waving her over to the group.
"Antonio." She says as she walks up to the group. "I'm surprised that you got here before me."
"Well, one of my teachers from high school drilled this saying into our heads when we had his class; 'If you're early you're on time, if you're on time you're late.'"
"Wise words." Nodding in agreement.
"Indeed, he was my favorite teacher in highschool." The group of researchers and scientists looked a little shocked how casually we were talking to one another.
"Hey, Yearling?"
"Hm?"
"Shall we get the revealing of the artifact under way?" I ask.
"Of course." Daring nods. "Dr.Fossil has a room for such a thing, please, follow me." After a few steps forward, she turns back to see the group of researchers and scientists huddled together talking among themselves. "Hey!" She yells getting their attention. "Are you coming or what?" After getting over their initial shock, they quickly caught up with us as we headed to this research room.
On our way to our destination, I sensed a large amount of warp energy coming from a large bound tome in a glass case with two royal guards on either side of it.
"What's that tome in the glass case?" I said pointing to it.
Daring gives it a quick glance and then groans, "An enigma, Daring Do brought it in from one of her explorations. It was sealed in a heavily armored vault along with other times, books, and scrolls. Was the only one that wasn't eroded into nothing. From what I've heard, Daring tried just about everything to open that tome and nothing worked, she every asked Princess Celestia for help and even she wasn't able to open it."
"Damn, sounds like a one tough cookie to crack. Maybe I could take whack at it." I comment.
"Ha, good luck, but you'll have to get Fossil's approval before you can even try to attempt to open the tome."
"Got ya." Just before we continued to our destination, I caught a glimpse of a white polymer mask with a wide murderous smile full of razor sharp teeth, a small red mohawk, an upside-down black spade connected to a cross on its forehead, and a blue oval gem on top of the spade cross; right above the tome's glass case out of the corner of my eye. I snap my head to get a better look at the mask only for there to be nothing there.
"Sir, are you ok?" One of the researchers asked.
"Yeah I'm fine, give me a sec." I said as I walked to the glass case.
"Hey, where are you going?!" Daring yells at me.
"I'll be right back, I need to check something."
Walking up to time I finally got a better look at it. Black, pure black, everything about this tome was unnaturally black from its hard cover to its pages. It was like the light around the tome was being sucked into a void. After a second of staring at it, I began to hear two-toned voices of both male and female giggling and laughing all around me quickly rising in volume.
The sounds got so loud I would have gone deaf if it wasn't for my regeneration. As quickly as it began it went eerily silent, only for a two-toned chuckle to break it. I look up to see the mask I saw moments ago, it's chuckle slowly turned into insane laughter then suddenly stopped.
"Soon, we will talk soon." It chuckles a little before disappearing with a little spin.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I release a sigh of frustration, 'Of all the gods I could have met, it had to be the Laughing God. Hell, who's next, the Emperor of Mankind? I sure hope not, if that happens then this planet will either get pulled into the warp or a barren wasteland from all battle that will happen on it.' I thought before turning on my heels and returned to the group.
"Curious, wasn't it? It's like a small void in reality and no pony has been able to explain it." Daring said.
"Did anyone try to analyze the material of the tome?" Asking a seemingly obvious question.
"Oh, we did." One researcher spoke up. "Just none of our tools could even scratch the material the cover and pages are made of. We also had to keep such tests on the down low, so Princess Twilight didn't hear about when it was going on."
I ricol a little with a questioning look, "Why would you want to keep this quiet from Twilight? Wouldn't you want the help from another princess?"
"From the rumors that we have heard, she's a massive bibliophile…….and we don't trust her with such a one of a kind tome, even if she was Princess Celestia's protége before she became a princess."
"Hmm, I guess that makes sense, but it's not my place to judge your decision either." I comment as we arrive in front of a metal double door that has a keypad and some sort of card swipe.
"One sec." Daring says punching a code and swiping an ID, and with a loud click the doors were unlocked. "Follow me please, I need to sign you in as a guest before you can go further in."
Once that was done, I followed her into a large room with a bunch of equipment and the group that was with us previously was talking to a black unicorn with white markings on her face that looks like a skull.
"Dr.Fossil!" Daring yells.
The black and white mare turns and smiles upon seeing us, she quickly walked over to me, "Can I have some blood samples?"
"Heh, I believe introductions usually come first before you ask someone that, Doctor." Daring chuckles.
She looked like a deer in headlights for a second, "Of course, apologies." She holds out her hand. "I'm Dr.Fossil, I'm the head researcher at the museum, it's a great pleasure to meet a living human." She says with stars in her eyes.
"Antonio, human from a different dimension." I said shaking her hand.
".......Wait, what?" Dr.Fossil said, clearly confused. "So you're not from this planet nor descended from the humans of King Alexander's rule?"
"Nope, ever heard of the multiverse theory?"
"Only in passing…." Her eyes slowly got wider as she put the pieces together. "SO IT'S REAL?!?!"
"Very much so, unfortunately, I have no other evidence to prove the theory than myself and my experiences."
Her ears instantly dropped at hearing that, "Celestia damnit, can I at least ask you some questions on how you got here?"
"I see why not, but I would like to take a look at that black tome in the exhibit in exchange for the questions." I bargain.
"Deal." Fossil instantly replies, and dashes out of the room to grab the tome.
"Well that was easy, I thought she would put up some sort of resistance to the deal." I said a little surprised, looking at Daring.
"Do remember that your species left this planet a little over a millennia ago. Any scientist or researcher in their right mind would jump at a chance like this, and accept just about any deal you may put in front of them inorder to give them access to the knowledge in that head of yours." She points out.
"Ah, that makes sense." I nod in understanding.
Dr.Fossil then bursts through the door and rushes me with the black tome. She pushes the tome into my chest and I instinctively grab it to keep it from falling. Fossil then ran into a side room, through some stuff around looking for something by sounds that were coming from the room.
"Got ya!" She finally yelled, then grabbed me by the scruff of my collar and pulled me to a table with two chairs facing each other and sat me down in one. She sat herself in the other chair and placed a floating crystal device between us. When she tapped it, the crystal began to flash red at a slow steady pace.
"Is this a voice recorder of some sort?" I ask.
"Correct, I had to go looking in storage since we haven't used it in quite some time." Fossil answers, she then pulls out a notepad and pen. "So let's begin, this is Dr.Fossil of the Equestrian National Museum interviewing Antonio the human from a different dimension; side note: Antonio's ancestors are not the same humans from Equis. So Antonio, why did you ask to see the black tome in exchange to do this interview?"
"Because of a hunch I have about this tome, and if it's correct then I'll have to take this time off your hands permanently."
"What, why would you need to do that?!" Fossil asks with concern in her voice.
I don't respond to her question, instead I pour a little bit of my warp energy into the tome causing it to glow blue slightly before a soft click can be heard.
Dr.Fossil's eyes widened and jumped out of her seat, "You unlocked the black tome?! The same tome that even Princess Celestia couldn't even open, how?!"
"I'm a psyker, a being that controls the flow of the warp to their will. It would seem that this tome required a bit of warp energy to unlock it." I explain. Opening the void black cover, I began to flip through a couple of its pages, "God damnit, it's written in Aeldari." I groan out as I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Why is a tome from the Black Library here?" I looked up to Fossil who was just giving me a confused look. "I'm going to have to take this off of your hands, this tome is too dangerous to be left in a museum." I explain to her.
"What? No, we need to study it. The tome is now unlocked and we can finally begin our research into it. So again no, I will not let you take a tome of unknown magnitude just because it's too dangerous to study!" Fossil yelled as she tried to grab the tome with her magic. I quickly flicked her horn causing Fossil to yelp and release her hold on the tome, I then placed it into my ring storage before anything else could happen.
Once Dr.Fossil was done massaging her horn, she crossed her arms and gave me a very cold glare, "You know that I can get a hold of Princess Celestia and report you for theft of an ancient artifact which will land you a minimum of 50 years in the dungeons."
"Ok, I don't care." This caused some spit-takes followed by yells of pain. "However, I'll only steal it if you don't accept my trade proposal."
Dr.Fossil gave me a stick eye of suspicion, "Go on…."
"A trade of one ancient artifact for another. You see, I have two walls covered in art from an ancient human temple that I found deep in the Everfree Forest when I landed on this planet. So, interested?" I say with a smirk.
"Give me a moment with the others, I want to get their opinion on the matter." Dr.Fossil finally said after a moment of silence.
"That's fine, take your time."
She nods, gets up and walks outside with the group of researchers and scientists in tow. It didn't take long before Daring quickly walked to me and slapped me upside the back of my head. "Was all that really necessary? Could you have at least yet her and her team study the tome for a year or two?"
"One: ow. Two: no, reason be that any book, tome, or scroll that comes from the Black Library has the potential to turn a planet into a daemon world if it fell into the wrong hands."
"What's a daemon world?" Daring asks worrying curiosity.
"A planet that has been so corrupted by the powers of Chaos and the Warp after being trapped in a Warp rift for a prolonged period of time. Said planet no longer obeys the laws of physics or reality; everything on the planet can be changed at a moment's notice by the whim of the planet's ruler, a Daemon Prince, or if there is no Daemon Prince at that time then by the emotions of the populations' collectiveness." I explain.
"So that tome can turn Equis into this Daemon World?" Daring was trying to wrap her mind around what I said.
"Maybe, I can't read the Aeldari language so I don't know what's written in this tome, but either way it's too dangerous for it to fall into the hands of someone or something who can."
"So, you're planning to steal an ancient tome that you can't read, on the possibility that it could turn this planet into this….Daemon World that you explained to me?" Daring said bewildered.
"Yup, better safe than sorry."
As Daring was opening her mouth, Dr.Fossil and her team came back.
