Author's Note
Hi everypony. I hope you're al happy and well.
I am here today to present to you a funny one-shot that is all about comedy. I hope it will make you laugh.
Have fun reading.
Edit: I corrected severals mistakes I didn't notice were here the first time. Thanks you to those who helped me see them.
Scary needle
It is a sunny day in Ponyville. Celestia raised the sun only an hour ago and the pegasi have left only a few clouds to keep the temperature agreeable. On the border of the town, the crystal castle of the princess of Friendship overlooks the city and reflects the sunlight like a perfect mirror. Yet, the streets are almost completely empty. The shops and restaurants are closed. A black earth pony is running toward his house when he comes across a green pegasus mare with her greenish pegasus colt.
“Sunny Cloud!” The stallion says surprised.
“Oh, hello Tic Tac. Why are you such in a hurry?” Sunny Cloud asks him with a smile.
“Why? Have you forgotten what day today is?”
“Uh? We are…” Sunny Cloud eyes become wide as she realises what her friend is talking about. “...By Celestia, I completely forgot. We have to go. Thanks for reminding me.”
She then takes her colt in her mouth by the skin of his neck and runs in the direction of her house while Tic Tac continues his way toward his own house.
During this time, in a small alley, five mares are advancing discreetly. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are flying while Rarity, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack move on the ground. Twilight sees one pony close his shutter and door when she walks in front of his house. They are now the only ponies outside. It's better that way. Soon, they all reach their destination: Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash lands on a roof, rolling over before hiding behind a chimney while Applejack takes position next to a house wall. Both mares are on each side of the building. Fluttershy and Rarity, on the other hoof, hide behind a cart behind the building. Twilight approaches by the front. Mr and Ms Cakes then come out of the building discreetly, each carrying one of their babies on their back. They walk toward Twilight.
“So, any problems at all?” the princess whispers when they are close enough to hear her.
“No, she didn’t even see us leave,” Mr Cake answers.
“We’re going to my sister's cottage until everything is taken care of. Good luck, you’re going to need it,” Ms Cake adds. Twilight thanks them before they continue on their way.
Twilight then signals Applejack and Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus signals Rarity and Fluttershy. The five mares resume their advance toward the building as silently as possible. Each one of them covers a side of the building, watching either one of the two doors or the windows. Their target is surrounded, no way she is esca…
Just as Twilight is about to open the front door, it opens abruptly and a pink blur rushes out and collides with the Alicorn, sending them on the ground. The pink blur immediately stands up and run away while the others come running toward them.
“I’m fine. Don’t let her get away,” Twilight shouts.
The five mares don’t lose time and pursue the pink blur across the streets. The chase leads them all to a large road with three smaller streets on each side.
The pink blur runs from the top right street to the middle left street followed by a flying Rainbow Dash who leaves a rainbow trail behind her.
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity run from the bottom right street to the top left street.
Fluttershy appears from the middle left street and walks to the middle of the large road before noticing she is out in the open. She lets out a terrified squeak before running back to where she came from.
Fluttershy flies completely scared from the bottom left street to the middle right street pursued by the pink blur.
Applejack runs from the top left street to the top right street pursuing a panicked Twilight Sparkle who has a piece of fabric on her eyes.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity walk out from respectively the bottom left and the bottom right streets and, seeing no one except themselves, walks back into the streets.
Applejack walks out from the middle right street and looks around. The pink blur appears at the top left street, tiptoeing. Applejack sees her and prepares her lasso. The pink blur disappears back in the street, and Applejack runs after her.
The pink blur runs from the top to the bottom of the large road followed by the five mares. Rainbow Dash dives and lands on the pink blur, immediately joined by Applejack. The three other mares stop and watch with wide eyes as their two friends battle with the pink blur. The smoke of the fight slowly dissipates, revealing Rainbow Dash and Applejack holding Pinkie Pie.
“Let me go,” the pink pony orders, struggling against the grip of the two stronger mares. “I told you I don’t want to do it.”
“Pinkie, it’s for your own good,” Twilight says walking closer. “You need to get vaccinated otherwise you’ll get the pony flu.”
“But…but…the needle is scary, and it’s hurt. They are super duper not funny,” Pinkie Pie looks at her friends with big and watery eyes, her ears down.
Fluttershy and Rarity almost give in to that cute looks, but Rainbow Dash’s voice comes to their rescue.
“Come on Pinkie, every vaccine it’s the same fricking thing. We all did it and it doesn't hurt that much. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Ah understand yer afraid of needles Sugarcube,” Applejack says gently, “but if we do this, it’s because we love ya.”
“It is true darling,” Rarity intervenes stepping forward. “We don’t want you to fall sick. Imagine being stuck in bed with a strong headache, terrible cough and diarrhea for weeks. You can’t possibly want to be in such a dreadful state.” She says the last words with disgust.
However, Rarity’s words don’t work since Pinkie Pie still tries to free herself.
“Please Pinkie.” It is now Fluttershy’s turn to try and convince the pink pony. She speaks with her usual low tone. “If you’re sick, then you won’t be able to make ponies smile and plan parties. Worse, seeing you hurt will make us sad. You don’t want us to be sad, do you?”
This seems to make Pinkie Pie calm down. No parties? Sad faces? The thought alone is enough to almost makes her cry.
“I promise it will be quick,” Twilight promises. A purple aura surrounds her horn and a syringe appears in the air. “You won’t feel a thing and it will be worth it.”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Pinkie Pie says seemingly thinking about it. “…NO IT WON’T.”
Without warning, Pinkie Pie does a backflip, lands behind Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and bangs their heads together. The two mares fall on their back, stunned, allowing Pinkie Pie to rush forward. Twilight tries to stop her, but the pink pony glide on the ground and passes under her. This make the Alicorn trip thus making her lose her concentration and drop the syringe. Seeing this, Rarity jumps forward and catches the syringe with her hooves before it touches the ground. The only mare left is Fluttershy, but instead of trying to stop Pinkie Pie, the shy pony jumps on the ground, trembling as her hooves covering her eyes as Pinkie jumps above her.
“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE,” Pinkie Pie screams as she runs away at an incredible speed, leaving a trail of smoke behind her.
Twilight, Rarity (now holding the syringe in her hoof) and Fluttershy stand up.
Pinkie Pie suddenly appears from behind Rarity and hit the syringe with her hoof. The object breaks in two when it hit the ground. Pinkie Pie stumps on it three times then run away again before Twilight or Rarity can catch her. Rainbow Dash and Applejack stand up, groaning.
From a street at their left, a small dragon appears ands walk toward them.
“Well, that could have gone better,” Spikes says. “I saw everything and it wasn’t pretty.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Rainbow Dash growls as she and Applejack rub the sore spot on their head.
“I agree,” Rarity teases with a smirk as she looks at the blue pegasus and orange earth pony. “How our dear Pinkie was able to knock out both Rainbow Dash and Applejack with one hit is something we’ll never get tired of hearing.” This make the two mentionned ponies look back at her angrily as the white unicorn laugh.
“Hey, she took us by surprise,” Rainbow Dash tries to defend herself.
“An’ even if she ain’t particularly strong, she’s still an earth pony,” Applejack adds a bit vexed too.
“Um…excuse me but what do we do now,” Fluttershy asks. “Plan A didn’t work.”
“Then we move to plan B.”
The ponies gasp in shock when they hear Twilight’s words.
“Whoa, I must admit I didn’t expect that one,” Spike admits.
“Plan B? But we never used plan B before.” Rarity proclaims with a shocked voice.
“Are ya sure it’s a good idea. Ah reckon Pinkie might react even worse if we do that.” Applejack warns.
“And she’ll be right. It’s not cool,” Rainbow Dash says.
“I know I wouldn’t like it if somepony did that to me,” Fluttershy confesses.
“It’s either that or we let Pinkie catch the pony flu knowing we could have prevented that,” Twilight Sparkle explains. “You all know what the pony flu can do. Do we really want that mess to happen to Pinkie?”
The five ponies look at each other and cringe. Not wanting that to happen, they all decide to use plan B.
…
Outside of Ponyville there is nothing except a road, trees and a few rocks. Nopony seems to be here except for Pinkie Pie who is hiding in a hole under a large rock. She briefly lifts the rock and examine her surroundings, watching in case her friends or funny clowns would be looking for her.
“Okay sergeant Taily,” Pinkie says speaking to her own puffy tail, “the coast seems clear, but I think it’s better to wait before leaving the fort.”
“Roger that captain Pie,” she adds with a raspy male voice. “Roger? Roger, are you here? Roger?”
Realising the silliness of what she just said, Pinkie giggles before bringing the rock back on the ground and disappearing under it.
She sighs, relieved to have escaped from her friends and that meanie needle. Suddenly, her Pinkie sense activate. Her left front hoof shakes, her ears become floppy and she feels a twitch in her belly. This combo means…
“No, they wouldn’t,” Pinkie Pie tells herself, but her Pinkie sense never failed her before.
Without losing time, Pinkie runs out of her hiding place and back toward Ponyville, toward Sugarcube Corner. If she’s fast enough, maybe she still can…No. As soon as the building comes into view, she sees it’s too late. She stops at a safe distance. Her six friends are standing in front of the shop.
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Spike are facing her. Rarity is sitting next to a bathtub, seemingly preparing a bath. Fluttershy overs above the bathtub with Gummy, Pinkie pie alligator’s pet, in her hooves.
“GUMMY,” Pinkie Pie says holding her hoof in front of her. “Hold on, I’m going to save you. Don’t panic.”
The alligator only reaction to all this is a very slow blink.
“Come on, girls, you know Gummy only takes bath on Wednesdays and today is Friday which is NOT Wednesday.”
It is a well know fact that Pinkie Pie brings her pet to the spa each Wednesday for his weekly bath. The rest of the time, he stays away from every water mixed with soap. Why is it so important? Nopony know. But it is a rule she always followed.
“We didn’t want to come to this, but you left us no choice Pinkie,” Twilight explains. “Either you get yourself vaccinated or we give Gummy a bath on a Friday.”
Pinkie Pie gasps as if she just heard the most horrible thing ever.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Pinkie screams over-dramatically before falling on her back with her four legs and tail up in the air.
“An’ Ah thought only Rarity could do such over-dramatic stuff like that,” Applejack murmurs to Spike.
“I’m not convinced. The tail in the air is original, but the overall presentation can’t compare to Rarity’s,” the dragon responds.
Pinkie then jumps and lands on her hooves.
“Girls, please, I’m begging you, my very best super important friends. You can’t do this.”
“Pinkie, it’s because we’re your best friends that we do this,” Flutttershy speaks. “I’m sure you know the pony flu is nothing to joke about. Please, if you won’t do it for you, or for us, then do it for Gummy.”
Pinkie Pie looks at Gummy, who still hasn’t moved since his last blink, her friends and Gummy again. Everypony is holding their breath, including those watching from their houses. After a few seconds, she finally comes to a decision.
“Okay, Let Gummy go and I’ll let you vaccinate me. Pinkie promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.” Pinkie produces a cupcake from her tousled mane and sticks it in her right eye.
“You have made the wise decision darling,” Rarity says as Fluttershy puts the alligator back on the ground.
She expected him to run away or toward Pinkie, but again Gummy doesn’t move even the slightest muscle, not even to speak.
Twilight advances toward Pinkie and, with her magic, makes a second syringe appear and helds in the air. Pinkie gulps and lies down on the ground, her eyes covered by her hooves and her butt in the air, trembling.
Wanting to do it as quick as possible for Pinkie, Twilight gently but firmly insert the needle in Pinkie’s flank just under her cutie mark. The pink pony yelps, but stay still. Two second later, Twilight remove the syringe.
“And DONE,” she yells happily.
“What,” Pinkie asks. “That’s it?”
“I told you there was nothing to worry about,” Rainbow Dash says as they all gather around Pinkie to congratulate her.
“I admit even if it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t such a bummer. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought,” Pinkie Pie confesses.
“Does that mean next time you’ll get vaccinated without us having to chase you around the town and threaten to clean your pet,” Fluttershy asks full of hope.
Pinkie looks at her friends with a small smile during a few seconds before her facial expression slowly turn into one of horror soon mimicked by her friends.
“NEVER!”
She hits the syringe floating in Twilight’s purple magic aura, sending it crashing on the ground. She stumps it three times like she did for the first syringe before running away, leaving a trail of smoke behind her.
Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rainbow Dash look in the direction Pinkie left with wide eyes. Spike looks at them.
“So, I guess that means you’re going to repeat all this again next time,” Spike says with an annoyed tone.
The five mares collapses on the ground with desperate groans, their hopes crushed.
